I have a reservation to swim in an hour. I don’t feel like going. I swam two days ago and I felt wonderful during and after my swim.
But today I’m weighing the idea that I don’t HAVE to go. If I decide to stay home and read a book in my back yard, I’m not any less of a person. But I’m torn. I feel guilty for not going. I know I should go. I remember I wrote about something similar years ago in a post “I don’t have to, I get to.” It was about appreciating what we have and that we are able to do things.
Every morning I walk, then I either play ping pong or pickleball a few times a week as well as swim. At my age is it okay to slow down and say no thanks, not today? Or should I say “I get to swim today” and just go?
Every August we’re at the beach. I can look back through my facebook or instagram posts and see photos from the same location this week for the past six or seven years. Before that, we were at Laguna Beach — an entirely different beach, but still… While I’m finally relaxing into “beach mode” here’s a look back at what I wrote in August 2015:
“Do Good. Be Good. We’ll Be Doing Good.”
This was the recorded message our son made for our answering machine when he was four years old. I saved that for years. It was on our landline, which is now non-existent, or I’d probably still be using it.
What a thoughtful thing for our young son to say. My husband and I adopted that saying as our family motto. We repeated those word often to each other and to our children.
I try to do good. Be good. Some days it’s a bigger struggle than others. But, it’s something to think about, too. What are we doing with our lives? Are we making a difference? Is the world a better place because we are in it? Are we being good to each other? To strangers? To family and friends?
A lot has to do with our outlook. I’m definitely one of the “glass half full” types. I try to look at the positive and stay away from those who are negative. Turning on the TV can put you into negativity land. I truly believe that we can stay positive by removing negative influences around us. Turn off the TV. Listen to music. Read interesting books and essays. Swim! Like Ray Bradbury said, “Garbage in, garbage out!”
After spending a week in paradise—otherwise known as Carpinteria, CA—I look back on our vacation as perfect. We have great friends who live there who inspire me. I always come home with so much energy from being around positive, hard working entrepreneurs.
Also, my children spent a bit of the week with us. What a treat that was for me! With two college aged kids, having them together was priceless. We rode bikes, hiked, swam in the ocean, sailed, shared meals together. It’s hard to leave them, but I’m so thankful for the time we had together. That’s my glass half full talking as I sit in my lonely, quiet house once again.
I’m proud to say my kids look truly happy. They are definitely doing and being good.
What good things are you doing today? Is your glass half full or half empty? Can you give an example of your outlook and how it affects your day?
Here’s a link to a swim parenting article I wrote. It’s about Teagan O’Dell, an up and coming swimmer, who broke a second National record of Missy Franklin’s. It’s from her mom’s perspective: Marni O’Dell on Raising Teagan.
That’s an interesting way to view the world. Instead of taking things for granted, take a moment to appreciate what we have. Flip the things you don’t want to do on their heads and be thankful you are able to do them.
Last Sunday, my daughter who is out of state at college, drove an hour from campus to my husband’s childhood friend’s church, CenterPoint Church in Orem, UT. My hubby’s friend from elementary through high school grew up to be a pastor. As a mom, I was thrilled that she took the time to go to church, visit family friends, and decided to do this all on her own!
Anyway, she texted, “This was just what I needed. The sermon’s message was ‘I don’t have to, I get to!”
I suppose that’s a pretty good message during finals week for any college student, right?
I wish I could have been with her and heard the message, too. I’m guessing it was a talk about our outlook. What an interesting thing to try out.
Olive has an interesting viewpoint.
When I vacuumed today, I reminded myself that I don’t have to vacuum. I get to! I’m lucky to be in my home, pursuing my writing dreams—and I’m able to vacuum, too, whenever I want!
My best friend from college is here. Her dad is a snowbird (which means he lives in our valley for the winter months to enjoy our sunshine). She’s here to visit him because he suffered a stroke and is in the hospital. I bet he understands what I’m talking about — “I don’t have to. I get to.”
When I was my daughter’s age, I was hit by a truck at college. I was hurt pretty badly and laying in bed in the hospital, I didn’t care about the things I had been obsessed about the week before. I no longer cared about losing five pounds, or what my grade was on a paper. I really worried about being able to get out of bed and walk. I was instantly reminded of all that I took for granted. I was thankful to be alive.
My daughter happy to be swimming for years.
Last week I wrote about how to encourage your kids to be more positive. You can read more about it here on SwimSwam. I think the secret to having positive kids is being grateful, thankful and positive in your own life. Most of what our kids learn from us is through our actions—not our words.
If your child is excited about going to practice–whether or not it’s swimming, ballet or a piano lesson–then they will love what they are doing. Or, we can tell them that “they have to go,” and the outcome will be less than pleasant for everyone as you beg, plead and threaten.
My kids at a piano recital. They didn’t have to. They got to!
Rather than complain about what you have to do, think about how grateful you are for the opportunity.