Category Archives: swim

Remembering Swim Mom

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This photo was from my daughter’s last PAC 12 championship swim meet in Federal Way, Wash. It’s a ball pit in the lobby of the Natatorium for photo ops. Every year, they had something different to pose with. I’m sitting at the top right, not in the ball pit, because I’m wearing a brace after wrecking my knee skiing. This group of women were my compadres at the University of Utah — all proud swim moms of Utes.

Last week I was surprised to see an email with the subject line: “Swim Mom Advice.”

That brought me back to the roller coaster days of being a swim mom. Both my kids began swimming with our local club team at an early age. My son swam through high school, my daughter all four years of college.

A woman was emailing me for advice about her daughter who was a swimmer in college. No, I didn’t recognize the name. I have never met her. Nor, do I know who her daughter is or where she goes to college.

So why was she emailing me?

I used to write a weekly swim parenting advice column for SwimSwam, the world’s most read swim site. You can look at my stories HERE. I have a page for them on my blog.

For my column, I read sports parenting books and websites from “real” sports parenting experts. I also listened to podcasts. Although I used first-hand stories, I actually did homework and didn’t just write things off the cuff.

After a couple years, I started getting emails from swim moms sharing specifics about their children, coaches or teams. They wanted my advice. I turned this into a feature called “Ask Swim Mom” which I rotated into my weekly column. One thing about writing for SwimSwam, I got a lot of comments — some good, some downright vicious. For my “Ask Swim Mom” column a common comment was to stop making up stupid questions. That wasn’t true. I was flattered people emailed me.

I started writing for SwimSwam after interviewing for a managing editor job. The job turned out to be weekends and evenings — covering big swim meets — and not for that point in my life. But I did submit a story I wrote about being a swim mom. The founder and CEO of SwimSwam called me. He told me that if SwimSwam were a movie, they had a cast of characters, but no one to play the role of “Swim Mom.” He was casting me!

What was the email about?

There are lots of changes in collegiate swimming. I think it’s due to trickle down of NIL from football and other big money sports. Swimming loses money. It takes a lot of money to fund a pool. Consequently, rosters of swimmers are being cut at many teams. This swim mom said that swimmers were being cut, but not her daughter. Some of her daughter’s roommates and best friends were out. People including moms weren’t speaking to each other. I can only imagine how hard that would be for all the parents and swimmers — those who are staying have survival guilt. Those who were cut are devastated.

In any case, it felt good to be a swim mom again for a day. I replied to her email and asked my daughter for her advice and included it, too.

In the end, my daughter transitioned from swimmer to swammer and became a working adult. Of course, COVID shut downs had a lot to do with it not being easy. My swim mom days were over and I thought to myself, “Who would want my advice anyway?” Hence the end of “Ask Swim Mom” and my weekly column for SwimSwam.

What time in your life do you look back on and miss — or not miss? And why?

The Olympics Made Me Miss Being a Swim Mom

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I wrote this post in 2015 when my daughter was swimming in college. Watching the Olympics and having a connection to a few of the swimmers made me miss my swim mom days.

My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC.
My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC. She’s the one with pointed toes.

We went to my daughter’s first college dual meet of the season this weekend. I loved every minute of the meet, but even more, spending time with her. She invited several swim teammates out to dinner. It felt like the sprinkle of rain after a long drought—listening to them laugh and talk about their meet and practices.

I didn’t realize how much I miss the little daily things about being an age-group swim mom.

I miss the kids hanging out. So many personalities, so many different families, all bound together by one common goal. Swimming.

My son and swim team friends.
My son and swim team friends. He’s in front.

I have a fierce loyalty to our team and the couple times when factions of parents split off to form their own teams, I was shocked and hurt. It felt like losing members of my immediate family. I’d always wonder why? I never thought we had a bad experience—maybe at times less than perfect—but I guess that’s part of the reason I didn’t understand.

Good times were sitting together in the stands cheering for all our kids. Getting the new team t-shirts, sipping Starbucks on a chilly winter morning under the pop-up tents. Chatting and laughing with parents while we waited to see what the day’s meet would bring. I loved working with our parents and officials under the admin tent, in awards, or in the snack bar at our home meets.

The team cheer at an away meet.
The team cheer at an away meet.

I loved having kids over to the house to hang out between morning and afternoon practices during long hot summer days. I loved cooking eggs, bacon and sausage in bulk for a pack of hungry swimmers. I was amazed at how much they could eat as a group. I loved having the team over for painting t-shirts for a big meet.

Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.
Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.

I loved listening to the kids laughing about silly things that happened in practice and the goofy songs they played and sang to like “Funkytown”  and the “Numa Numa Song.”

Most of all, l I loved seeing my kids smiling, laughing and enjoying their friendships. Throughout the years, my kids were surrounded by amazing kids, families and coaches. Just being in the background was a joy.

I miss those days.

Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.

What do you miss about earlier years in your life?

Will Caeleb Dressel be a household name?

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This is a post I wrote in 2021 during the Tokyo Olympics. Caeleb Dressel had seven Olympic Gold Medals at the time and was known as “Captain America.” Fast forward to 2024 and he began the Olympics earning a gold medal in the 4 X 100 free relay. I was so happy for him making a comeback. He took time off to get through mental health issues and found joy again in swimming. He also got married and the Dressels have a baby boy.

This past week, he had a heartbreaking day where he didn’t win a medal in the 50 free or even qualify for the 100 fly finals. NBC zoomed in on his face as he cried. I thought that was totally out of line.

Saturday, Dressel earned his ninth gold for the mixed relay where men and women swim. My daughter’s opinion was this: On Dressel’s bad day, he shouldn’t have swam the 100 fly on the mixed relay. He had two 100 fly’s and a 50 free to swim that day. As a sprinter, that’s a heavy load. On Sunday, Dressel swam the 4 X 100 medley relay and had the fastest 100 fly time. That was his last event and the relay earned silver. Without Dressel’s 100 fly fast swim, the US might not have medaled.

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My son and swim team friend winning the high school Physics cardboard boat race in the city pool. She competed in Beijing and London Olympics in distance freestyle races.

From my 2021 post:

I wrote a an article called Why Isn’t Caeleb Dressel a Household Name? for SwimSwam in 2018. Dressel had competed in NCAA championships and had broken barriers like the 40-second mark in the 100-yard freestyle. But at the time, only swim nerds knew his name.

After the Tokyo Olympics, I’m sure he will be better known, but after the Olympics fades away will his name fade, too?

Swimming like gymnastics are collegiate sports and there’s not much attention to them until Olympic years. It all comes down to money in my opinion. Football and basketball are money makers for schools. Swimming loses revenue. No fans are buying tickets, the meets are free and sparsely attended. The pool costs money to maintain.

During my years as a swim parent, I wondered how to get swimming to be more popular. In 2019 the International Swimming League began holding competitions.There are teams in the US and abroad filled with the world’s swimming stars. The teams compete against each other and it gives swimmers a chance to earn money, race and hopefully get more fans to appreciate swimming. But it isn’t televised, at least I haven’t seen it. I think it’s live streamed.

Here’s a post from X that I loved on Sunday, August 4, 2024. It’s from my editor at SwimSwam:

Here’s the article I wrote that mentions Caeleb Dressel and wonders how to get more people into swimming:

Why isn’t Caeleb Dressel a household name?

BY SWIMSWAM 

March 27th, 2018 Lifestyle

Courtesy of Elizabeth Wickham

We witnessed amazing things this past weekend watching the 2018 Men’s D1 NCAA meet. Who can believe that a human being broke 40 seconds in the 100 free, or 18 seconds in the 50 free—not to mention 43 seconds in the 100 fly? Caeleb Dressel should be a household name this week after breaking through these barriers at his final meet as a senior swimming for the University of Florida.

We watched from home on the computer, something that wasn’t possible years ago. The live stream was clear, the narration entertaining and professional. I remember trying to watch one of our friend’s kids at Trials in 2008 and the production quality wasn’t great and the livestream paused repeatedly. Swim coverage has improved significantly through the years, but I wonder if the audience has increased?

Of course, Olympic sports don’t get the attention at the collegiate level as the big money sports, like football and basketball. In addition, we hear heartbreaking news of universities canceling swim programs regardless of high GPAs or how many times the teams win conference meets, like the recent news of Eastern Michigan University. We have to wait every four years for the Olympics to come around to show the nation how great our swimmers are. Is there anything we can do as swim enthusiasts to change this? In all reality, probably not much. I personally don’t have the power to change TV schedules or viewing habits, but I can work on several little things.

Here are a few ideas about how we can help the popularity of swimming:

ONE

Scorekeeping. We’ve had friends come to meets and they don’t know what’s going on because there’s never a score posted. In other sports, you know which team is winning. Is it possible to post scores often and prominently at meets where they are keeping team scores?

TWO

Bring a friend to the pool. Whether your team has a “bring a friend day” or you ask one of your child’s friends to visit practice, we can reach out to more kids and introduce them to swimming.

THREE

Keep swimming fun. One reason why kids quit swimming is it’s “not fun anymore.” By allowing our kids time to goof off with their friends around the pool deck, either before or after practice, and keeping our attitudes light, we may keep our kids in the pool for more years.

FOUR

Invite friends and family to a meet. We can share our excitement and enthusiasm with our friends and family. Maybe not ask them to sit on the deck with us for two or three days, but have them stop by for an hour or two. Explain what’s going on so they can follow along and maybe they’ll catch the swimming bug.

FIVE

Be an ambassador. Talk about swimming with your non-swimming friends and share how much the sport has helped your kids. Encourage friends at any age to get into the pool and enjoy the great feeling of floating in the water. It’s never too late to join a Masters team.

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My daughter has her foot on the blocks as they dive in for the 200 free. The swimmer in the lead is Olympic medalist Abbey Weitzeil. This was the summer of 2013, while they were still in high school.

Are you watching the Olympics? What are your favorite sports to watch? Do you keep track of those sports on off Olympic years? Also, what do you think of this year’s Olympics with all the ups, downs, and drama?

Trials Stories: Day One

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The US Olympic Trials for swimming began Saturday. It’s bittersweet to watch. On one hand I’m excited to see who makes the Olympic Team for Paris. On the other hand, I miss being at swim meets cheering on my kids and spending time with other swim parents.

One of my favorite parts of watching Olympics are the stories about the athletes. Throughout the broadcast, there are personal background stories about individual athletes. When I feel a connection, or am impressed with what the athlete has overcome and persevered, I find myself invested and rooting for that person.

Although it’s not the Olympics yet, three stories stood out to me on day one of Olympic Trials:

Katie Ledecky

Also known as Katie “Freaking” Ledecky, she has earned more gold medals than Michael Phelps. From her X bio: 3x U.S. Olympic Swimmer – 7x Gold-Medalist. 21x World Champion. 16x World Record Breaker. Stanford grad.

I’ll add to that: “The greatest female swimmer of all time.”

On day one of Trials, the 27-year-old Ledecky earned her spot on the US Olympic Team by swimming the 400 Meter Freestyle in under four minutes. So now she can update her bio to say 4x U.S. Olympic Swimmer.

Ledecky has revolutionized the sport by breaking barriers and opening a path for those following her. A swim dad friend, who has two daughters who medaled at the Olympics, told me Ledecky made the impossible possible. She has opened opportunities for young girls who believe they can swim those times, too. Ledecky has made the sport faster.

Gretchen Walsh

Gretchen Walsh, age 21, added excitement to day one by breaking a world record in the 100 fly in semi-finals. This is the first world record broken at Olympic Trials swimming since 2008. She broke Swedish swimmer Sarah Sjostrom‘s 2016 world record of 55.48.

Even though she is now the world record holder in the 100 fly, she hasn’t made the US Olympic Team. She has to place first or second in finals to earn a spot — there are only two swimmers per event who make the team. I am rooting for her! Also her sister Alex, age 23, is competing in Olympic Trials, but they swim different events.

UPDATE: SHE DID IT! She’s on the team coming in first place last night at finals!!

Aaron Shackell

I watched 19-year-old Aaron Shackell from Carmel, Indiana win the 400 meter free, earning his spot on the Olympic Team. He’s young and hasn’t been in too many elite level meets. But he had plenty of confidence and speed swimming before the crowd of 20,000 at Trials held in his home state. Instead of holding Olympic Trials in a Natatorium, they built a pool in a football stadium.

During his post swim interview, Elizabeth Biesel asked when he first wanted to go to the Olympics. He said it was in kindergarten, when he learned his dad was an Olympic swimmer. Hard word since kindergarten through his freshman year of college paid off. His Olympic career is mostly likely just beginning with plenty of years ahead.

Do you watch the Olympics? What is your favorite sport to watch?

I don’t have to, I get to

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Cardinal stopping by my Birdbuddy.

Here’s an interesting way to view the world. Instead of taking things for granted, take a moment to appreciate what we have. Flip the things you don’t want to do on their heads and be thankful you are able to do them.

When my daughter was in college, sometimes she drove an hour from campus to my husband’s childhood friend’s church, CenterPoint Church in Orem, UT. My hubby’s friend grew up to be a pastor. As a mom, I was thrilled that she took the time to go to church, visit family friends, and decided to do this all on her own!

I remember when she texted me, “This was just what I needed. The sermon’s message was ‘I don’t have to, I get to!”

I remembered this message because I had a week that was less than spectacular. I was kicking in the pool one day, because I didn’t feel like walking. I normally walk for 45 minutes to an hour every single day. But I was lazy and thought a dip in the backyard pool would be a nice change.

The next day, I was limping and in pain. It’s the top of my foot that hurts, where I was hitting the water. I talked to my daughter about it and she said because I haven’t been swimming in awhile, my feet weren’t used to the stretch needed to kick. She suggested icing and elevating.

I tried walking the next day and couldn’t. I’ve spent five days without being in the pool or taking my daily walks. My sleep has been awful. I haven’t been a happy camper.

So, now I understand that it’s not a chore to swim or go for a daily walk. I’m grateful for the opportunity. “I don’t have to, I get to!”

What things are your grateful to do that others might see as a chore?

Tribute to a Legend: Coach Jon Urbanchek

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Jon Urbanchek

Jon Urbanchek, Coach of University of Michigan, USC and US Olympic Team

RIP, Coach Urbanchek. He died May 9, 2024 at age 87.

“I’m not looking at how many fast times you have, or how many medals you’ve won, medals will tarnish, right? I’m looking at how many friendships you made.” -Coach Jon Urbanchek

When I was gathering stories for the SoCalSwimming History website, a swim official gave me Jon Urbanchek’s number to call. The year was 2017 and he was 80 years old. He told me how he was coaching part time at USC. I was amazed at his energy and how enthusiastic and friendly he was.

From my interview with Coach Urbanchek:

“I’m going to be 81 this year, and I still love the sport. I still volunteer coach at USC Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday because I love being with young people. I love the energy they put out. I think at my age it’s important to be active. I leave the house at 5 a.m. to get there at 6 a.m. driving through LA traffic. I’m officially retired but I’m very happy to be a part of the program. Even this year, I did the training camp for the national team. I’m still involved with the national team and USC. I want to continue on.”

I loved talking to him and learning his life story from leaving Communist Hungary, studying at University of Michigan to his decades-long career coaching.

He was a US Olympic coach on staff for ’92, ’96, ’00, ’04, ’08 and ’12. He was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame, Long Beach State Hall of Fame and University of Michigan Hall of Fame. 

There was an outpouring of love for him this week from the swimming community:

“It is hard to express how much Jon Urbanchek has meant to me since I first met him in 2012. He was my coach on the 2012 Olympic team and he has been a coach, a mentor and a friend since then. I learned so much from him. He was a kind and dedicated coach who never forgot his swimmers. I will never forget his dedication to our sport, his humor, his coaching style and his love for Team U.S.A. He was a coach of coaches. I know that all of my coaches learned something from him. I am so lucky to have had him as a part of my team….he never stopped coaching and encouraging me.”
— Katie Ledecky, three-time Olympian, seven-time Olympic gold medalist, 21-time world champion, and holder of three world records

“I can still hear him saying “keep it moving” “ey , _____ MOVE IT!”…. Thinking about what he taught me in and out of the pool… one of the most influential ppl I’ve had in my life…this man is a legend and truly one of one!

RIP buddy…. ❤️❤️ “
–Michael Phelps, legendary American swimmer who won 28 medals across five Olympics, making him the most decorated athlete in the history of the Summer Games.

“Undeniably among the legendary coaches of our time. Better was his inclusion of all of us on our way up. Fast friend to anyone who crossed his path. If you met him you were undoubtedly added to his contact list along with a selfie together. All of us in swimming owe his wife Melanie and daughter a debt of gratitude for sharing him with us.”
— Dave Salo, former U.S.A. National Team Coach and head coach at USC

“Jon Urbanchek was the Yoda to world swimming. Add on the sense of humor and occasionally needed warm hug. His wisdom grew and spread over the decades and his legacy will continue to influence future generations.  We will miss his presence and carry on his spirit. ‘Go Blue! Keep it movin!’” — Mike Bottom, former University of Michigan swimming and diving head coach (2008-23)

After my phone interview with Coach Urbanchek, I would run into him at swim meets.
I remember talking with him at Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic, Calif. I was there to cheer on our daughter.

He was coaching Haley Anderson, who swam the 10k in the 2012, 2016 and 2020 Olympics. We became friends with the Anderson family, because Haley’s younger sister, Jordan, swam with our daughter at the University of Utah. Haley and her sister Alyssa made the US Olympic team in London. Alyssa earned a gold medal for the 4 X 200 free relay, while Haley earned Silver, finishing 4/10s of a second — in the 6.2 mile race — behind the winner from Hungary.

Jon Urbanchek at the 2017 Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic.

Who has made an impact in your life like Jon Urbanchek made in the swimming world?

Where do ideas come from?

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A flow chart my daughter made for me after she proofread an article I wrote for SwimSwam.

Shout out to Ally Bean of The Spectacled Bean for her post yesterday. It inspired me to write about where we get our blog ideas, plus reminded me of the flow chart above that I used in an article called “Does Your Child Want to Swim in College” for SwimSwam. Ally had a flow chart in her post called “Is it a penguin?”

I used to write a weekly sports parenting column for SwimSwam. I came up with an idea every week for five years from my personal experiences, parenting mistakes, plus observing other parents with their kids on the pool deck. I’d get ideas from coaches and interview Olympians and coaches. I even got emails from parents around the world asking me for advice, which started a Dear Abby-type column called “Ask Swim Mom.” I began swimming myself and would ask my coach for ideas while I was hanging onto the wall. I’d ask my daughter to read my columns before turning them in and she had great advice (like adding her flow chart).

Swimming is a sport that lasts 50 weeks a year with practice six days a week, with a couple two-a-day practices thrown in per week. You can imagine how obsessed and focused swimming families can become. My goal with my column was to let kids be kids and own their own sport. In other words, parents need to back off.

Now, that my kids have left the nest, I no longer have the desire to write about swimming or parenting. I began my blog writing financial advice for women. I realized within a few weeks that nobody wanted to read that. Then I moved on to swimming, parenting and things that were going on in my day-to-day life. I’m still writing about my daily life, but life has slowed down. Sometimes my posts are photos of birds from my Bird Buddy or sunrises and sunsets.

Where do you get your ideas for blogging?

How has your blog evolved through the years?