We’re not much for spur of the moment trips these days. When my husband and I were first married, we’d throw a tent and sleeping bags in the car and head to the beach with an hour’s notice. Or head for the ski slopes in Big Bear.
Friday, my husband suggested we escape the heat of the Phoenix area for a quick trip to Flagstaff which is two hours north at an elevation of 7,000 feet. I looked at the temperatures. Low of 44, high of 69. That’s after a week of blistering high 90s and 100 degrees at home.
My favorite hotel chain has a Little America in Flagstaff. Nice rooms. Delicious food. Hiking trails. Pool, jacuzzi, gym. I was sold!
We drove up to the ski resort called Arizona Snowbowl to check it out. People were skiing and snow boarding!
The Little America was my home away from home in Salt Lake City when my daughter was a student athlete at the University of Utah. We visited lots, because we liked to go to swim meets and watch her swim. I also love Salt Lake City, plus the aforementioned Little America. In Salt Lake City they have the fancier Grand America, but I prefer the lowkey atmosphere of the Little America and the lower prices.
Did I mention that the Covey family founded Little America? Britain Covey played football while my daughter swam at the U. Now Britain plays for the Philidelphia Eagles. Besides being a great athlete at only 5’8″ tall as a football player, he is a kind and authentic person. His grandfather, Stephen Covey, is famous for writing “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and owning Franklin Daytimer, which we used in the olden days to keep track of our appointments and schedules.
I wrote about driving to Flagstaff for our anniversary in 2021 and running into a hail storm that damaged our car from bumper to bumper HERE.
This trip was was quiet. Peaceful. We had fabulous meals and took walks in the 500 acres of forest that are part of the hotel property. It was a well needed break from the heat and a great escape for the weekend. The beautiful pool was closed for the season, until it gets warmer, but the jacuzzi was going strong.
Here’s to a spur of the moment trip for an escape from the heat!
Here’s a video of Gwen Stefani. She pops up from time to time on my Hallow App where she has been sharing personal stories of her faith. When my kids were in high school the word “Sweet” was used all the time like “Cool” from my earlier days.
Do you take spur of the moment trips? Where do you like to take quick getaways?
This photo was from my daughter’s last PAC 12 championship swim meet in Federal Way, Wash. It’s a ball pit in the lobby of the Natatorium for photo ops. Every year, they had something different to pose with. I’m sitting at the top right, not in the ball pit, because I’m wearing a brace after wrecking my knee skiing. This group of women were my compadres at the University of Utah — all proud swim moms of Utes.
Last week I was surprised to see an email with the subject line: “Swim Mom Advice.”
That brought me back to the roller coaster days of being a swim mom. Both my kids began swimming with our local club team at an early age. My son swam through high school, my daughter all four years of college.
A woman was emailing me for advice about her daughter who was a swimmer in college. No, I didn’t recognize the name. I have never met her. Nor, do I know who her daughter is or where she goes to college.
So why was she emailing me?
I used to write a weekly swim parenting advice column for SwimSwam, the world’s most read swim site. You can look at my stories HERE. I have a page for them on my blog.
For my column, I read sports parenting books and websites from “real” sports parenting experts. I also listened to podcasts. Although I used first-hand stories, I actually did homework and didn’t just write things off the cuff.
After a couple years, I started getting emails from swim moms sharing specifics about their children, coaches or teams. They wanted my advice. I turned this into a feature called “Ask Swim Mom” which I rotated into my weekly column. One thing about writing for SwimSwam, I got a lot of comments — some good, some downright vicious. For my “Ask Swim Mom” column a common comment was to stop making up stupid questions. That wasn’t true. I was flattered people emailed me.
I started writing for SwimSwam after interviewing for a managing editor job. The job turned out to be weekends and evenings — covering big swim meets — and not for that point in my life. But I did submit a story I wrote about being a swim mom. The founder and CEO of SwimSwam called me. He told me that if SwimSwam were a movie, they had a cast of characters, but no one to play the role of “Swim Mom.” He was casting me!
What was the email about?
There are lots of changes in collegiate swimming. I think it’s due to trickle down of NIL from football and other big money sports. Swimming loses money. It takes a lot of money to fund a pool. Consequently, rosters of swimmers are being cut at many teams. This swim mom said that swimmers were being cut, but not her daughter. Some of her daughter’s roommates and best friends were out. People including moms weren’t speaking to each other. I can only imagine how hard that would be for all the parents and swimmers — those who are staying have survival guilt. Those who were cut are devastated.
In any case, it felt good to be a swim mom again for a day. I replied to her email and asked my daughter for her advice and included it, too.
In the end, my daughter transitioned from swimmer to swammer and became a working adult. Of course, COVID shut downs had a lot to do with it not being easy. My swim mom days were over and I thought to myself, “Who would want my advice anyway?” Hence the end of “Ask Swim Mom” and my weekly column for SwimSwam.
What time in your life do you look back on and miss — or not miss? And why?
Soon, we’ll be headed to Salt Lake City, Utah for a few days. We’re going to visit my husband’s childhood best friend and wife. While my daughter was at the U of U, we’d see them regularly. But we’ve only seen them a couple times since my daughter graduated. We’re making the trek to spend some time with them.
I looked up what I wrote in the past about SLC and this post popped up from 2018:
The last dual meet for these senior Utes.
After four years of visiting our daughter at the University of Utah, my love affair with Salt Lake City is sadly over. She left the great state of Utah to start a career in Arizona. Although my husband said we can always go back, I wonder, how often will we? My bet is that on a rare occasion we will trek up to see our friends the McKinneys or maybe go to an alumni swim meet. But, other than that, I will miss the gorgeous city surrounded by mountain peaks. Salt Lake City is a vibrant, clean, friendly yet small city.
Another thing that is amazing is the community spirit of rooting for the Utes. Everywhere you see “Go Utes!” murals, flags and signs. The football stadium is always sold out–rain or shine. The gymnastics team is the most attended women’s collegiate sport in the country with more than 15,000 fans in the Huntsman Dome.
A friend asked my daughter and me to put together a list of things to do in SLC for her niece who’s a freshman at the University of Utah. Most of our things to do revolved around food. But, all in all it’s a list of our favorite memories during four years of being Ute fans. Here’s our Salt Lake City guide for UTE students, parents and visitors:
Hotels
A view of the Grand America from the pool deck of the Little America Hotel.
The Grand America Hotel — nicest in SLC, fun to walk through, even if you don’t stay there. I never made it to Sunday Brunch, but it’s supposed to be amazing.
The Little America — same company, Sun Valley Company, owns both the Little and Grand America hotels. It’s very nice but a little more low key than the Grand America. Restaurants are great, try the Coffee Shop for comfort food and amazing hot rolls with butter. I loved the gym and pool and big rooms at a great price. Our home away from home in Salt Lake City.
FYI, we’ll be returning to our home away from home on our upcoming trip.
Restaurants
A sandwich and salad at Les Madeleines.
Valter’s Osteria — fine Italian, special occasion, delicious and great atmosphere. The owner Valter is so personable!
Market Street Grill — Pacific Northwest seafood flown in daily. Great for big parties or family lunch and dinner.
Sushi:
Takashi My favorite sushi restaurant. They have an excellent menu with many hot dishes, too.
Sapa My daughter’s favorite sushi restaurant. I think she and her friends liked the “all you can eat” special. Plus it was exciting for them their freshman and sophomore years, because you aren’t allowed in unless you’re with someone 21 years old or older.
Other Favorites:
Les Madeleines — small Parisian bakery/cafe for breakfast and lunch. I love the tomato basil soup with salad!
Freshies Lobster Co. — Park City must! Casual restaurant that started as a food truck serving lobster rolls and lobster salad, amazing! The best meal I ever had in Utah! So simple but delicious. Here’s a review by the Salt Lake Tribune which says they opened a Salt Lake City restaurant blocks away from my daughter’s old house.
Italian — Antica Sicilia and Doce Sicilia. Recommended by Matteo Songe, swimmer from Italy on the Utah Swim team. He said this was authentic Sicilian. The Carbonara pasta is prepared with flames in a cheese wheel tableside!
Aristo’s — family-operated Greek. Delicious. Outdoor seating on the patio in the summer.
We are trying a new Italian restaurant this trip.Matteo’s. Matteo was the swimmer and friend of our daughter’s I mentioned above. He was a distance and open water swimmer along with our daughter. We got to know him at Open Water Nationals one year. Our daughter said he stayed in the US and opened up this restaurant — which is now the place to go for special occasions.
City Creek Center — nicest mall with the most stores including Nordstrom, Lush, Apple, Sephora, etc. Shop Friday or Saturday if you’re there for a weekend, since the entire mall is closed on Sunday!
Sports at UTAH — go to football, gymnastics, basketball, swimming, etc. The crowds at football and student MUSS section are so enthusiastic. Red Rocks Gymnastics is a top five NCAA team consistently and they have 15,000 plus in attendance at meets — the most attended Olympic sport for collegiate women in the U.S.
Church — CenterPoint in Orem. Pastor Scott McKinney. Scott and my husband were best friends from grade school through high school. It was so nice to reconnect with Scott and his wife Sara. They provided our daughter with a home away from home. She was invited into their home for Father’s Day, Thanksgiving and whenever she wanted.
Downtown Salt Lake City, UT
Where your favorite places to visit and do you have any recommendations?
On Monday, I was celebrating fun memories of my daughter on her birthday. Then I saw a post by a mother whose daughter shared the same birthday with my daughter. Our daughters knew each other as student-athletes at the University of Utah. I didn’t know they had the same birthday until Monday. I texted my daughter if she knew. She said she did. I remember how devastated my daughter was on the day she learned of Lauren’s death.
As I was rejoicing the life of my daughter, this mother was grieving her loss. I burst into tears realizing how fortunate I am.
The other mom heard her daughter’s death happen, on the phone, while she was talking to her daughter when she was shot to death by a stalker.
“‘There but for the grace of God, go I.”
Lauren’s story is a harrowing event that made national news. The mother has worked to keep Lauren’s memory alive, plus began a foundation with the following mission:
Our Mission
Dating violence and stalking are some of the most pressing issues facing universities and colleges today. One third of all women report dating violence by a current or previous partner. University and college campuses are not trained to respond effectively to these problems. The Lauren McCluskey Foundation was founded to honor the life and spirit of Lauren Jennifer McCluskey by bringing awareness to, funding research for, and providing resources to change the culture that responds poorly to dating violence and stalking on campuses.
Our mission is to let Lauren’s light shine by supporting her passions, including animal welfare, amateur athletics, and by making campuses across the country a place where students are safe, supported, and have the ability to thrive.
Shout out to Brian from HotM and Writing from the Heart with Brian for a story Wednesday about the emotions of taking his youngest to college. It reminded me of a post I wrote about saying good-bye:
First I wrote about 7 tips for parents on Move-In Day. At the end I wrote: “I made it through the day without tears–mostly. It was a long, busy and tiring day. When my husband and I stopped for lunch — alone — and I realized that we were truly alone — the tears ran down my cheeks. I wiped them off and prepared myself for battle for the next stop at Target. When, it’s time to say good-bye — well, I’ll tell you how that goes another time.”
Kat during our 6th trip to Target
So, how did it go when we said good-bye?
We had planned to stay until Sunday. Move-In day had been Thursday. We wanted to be around for a few days in case she needed us. She wanted us there on Thursday, but by Friday — not so much. It began to make sense for us to leave. We didn’t want to hang out and wait to see if she wanted us around. It didn’t make us feel good and we weren’t enjoying ourselves exploring the city that much. We had a long drive ahead of us, too. So we went out for an early morning walk and talked about how we’d let her know that we felt it was time to leave.
She texted us at 7 a.m. Saturday.
text from Kat
Okie dokie.
It was time to say good-bye. We walked over to her dorm. I took a deep breath. I said a prayer to be strong.
“Do not cry. I can do this,” I repeated in my head.
She opened the door, I wanted to say something profound and loving. Something she’d remember — but I said nothing. My husband said a few things and I nodded my head.
I opened my mouth, my voice cracked and wavered. At this point I cannot remember what I was trying to say.
“Mom! Mom! Stop it!” she said. “Don’t!”
She held my face in her hands, like I was the child. “It’s going to be okay.”
A view during our walk on campus
Tip: Make it short and quick.
Bill and I walked out of her room into the bright cool air that is Utah. We walked all over campus for two hours and I felt much better — amazed at what a strong beautiful woman we had raised.
Sage Point dorms at U of U, the athlete housing for Winter Olympics 2002.
Here’s an update:
What tips do you have for saying good-bye to your loved ones — whether it’s college or pre-school?
Five years ago, I went to orientation with my daughter at the University of Utah. I had gone to college orientation with my son at UC Santa Barbara a few years earlier, I didn’t expect to learn much because I didn’t think orientation was that helpful the first time around. Looking back, I may not have been that open to the information they were sharing.
I spent two days in the pristine mountainside beauty of Salt Lake City with clear blue skies and intense sunshine. Parents attended most meetings without their kids, who were similarly engaged with topics angled for teenage consumption.
Having been to college orientation three years prior with my firstborn, I didn’t think I’d learn anything new. However, in “Supporting your College Student” presented by Dr. Kari Ellingson, Associate Vice President, Student Development, I wished I’d heard her advice before I sent my first child to college.
“I think she’s met my son — the one who’s going to be a senior in college,” I whispered to a mom next to me. (He’s also the son who tried to give away the cat on FB.)
She answered, “No, I’m sure she’s talking about my oldest daughter!”
What did Dr. Ellingson have to say that we wished we heard the first time around?First…
Children go through changes. But, if it’s your first child going to college, or your last, you will be going through changes, too. We are in the process of changing our relationship from parent to child to adult to adult. We go through transitions, pushing them away and holding them close.
Second…
A student who works 10 to 15 hours on campus will do better in school than someone who works off campus, or doesn’t work at all. Students working on campus are making connections with the campus, student, and staff. They are completing their identity as a student first.
Students born from 1980 to 2000 are known as millennials. They don’t like to suffer — they love nice things — and they don’t mind working for them. Unfortunately, this can interfere with their education. So, if they want spending money, suggest a job on campus.
Third…
Cell phones according to Dr. Ellingson, are “the world’s longest umbilical cords.” Some students call home 5, 6, 7 times a day. In our day, we waited in line for the phone down the hall on Sundays — when long distance was cheaper — and horror of all horrors — there wasn’t such a thing as a cell phone!
Don’t let your child’s crisis become your crisis. Let them problem solve. Ellingson’s example was a daughter who called her mom and said, “I flunked my midterm. The professor hates me…” After consoling her crying daughter, the mother called back later with more advice. The daughter was like, “Huh? What are you talking about? Everything’s fine.”
Fourth …
They are learning to become themselves. Making new friends. They will be grieving and letting go of high school friendships, but will build new and deeper ones. A main developmental issue is finding their identity. Their core stays the same, which has been developing over the past 18 years. But, how they express themselves changes.
They may try on new identities by copying new friends to see how it fits or feels. You may say to yourself, and hopefully not to your child, “Who the hell is this?” Then you meet their new friend, and say to yourself, “Oh, now I see who this is!”
Intellectually they are still developing. They see things differently than before. They love to debate. They will try out their debating skills, or how to express themselves by choosing opinions contrary to yours, even if it isn’t what they truly believe.
And Fifth…
Dr. Ellingson talked about independence: “Their first steps as a toddler are towards you. Every step after that is running away from you.”
They need to discover how to be on their own — and this is one of their fears. Delayed maturation is common. It used to be people matured around 19, 20, 21. Today it’s 26, 27 or 28. They will say to you “Leave me alone!” Then, “bail me out!” This is normal. The pendulum will swing back and forth.
Just remember to love them, guide them, but let them figure it out. The more we solve their problems, the more we delay their growth into independent, responsible adults.
And one more thing…”GO, UTES!!!”
What advice do you have for parents of new college students?
I wrote this story in July a few years ago while I attended college orientation with my daughter in Utah. It was a valuable orientation for many reasons, including the information I gathered. Also, a friendship began with a family who we’ve enjoyed ever since.
This week I made the trek to the University of Utah to attend orientation with my daughter, who is an incoming freshman. Class of 2018 — does that sound scary or what?
I spent two days in the pristine mountainside beauty of Salt Lake City with clear blue skies and intense sunshine. Parents attended most meetings without their kids, who were similarly engaged with topics angled for teenage consumption.
Having been to college orientation three years prior with my firstborn, I didn’t think I’d learn anything new. However, in “Supporting your College Student” presented by Dr. Kari Ellingson, Associate Vice President, Student Development, I wished I’d heard her advice before I sent my first child to college.
“I think she’s met my son — the one who’s going to be a senior in college,” I whispered to a mom next to me. (He’s also the son who tried to give away the cat on FB.)
She answered, “No, I’m sure she’s talking about my oldest daughter!”
What did Dr. Ellingson have to say that we wished we heard the first time around?First…
Children go through changes. But, if it’s your first child going to college, or your last, you will be going through changes, too. We are in the process of changing our relationship from parent to child to adult to adult. We go through transitions, pushing them away and holding them close.
Second…
A student who works 10 to 15 hours on campus will do better in school than someone who works off campus, or doesn’t work at all. Students working on campus are making connections with the campus, student, and staff. They are completing their identity as a student first.
Students born from 1980 to 2000 are known as millennials. They don’t like to suffer — they love nice things — and they don’t mind working for them. Unfortunately, this can interfere with their education. So, if they want spending money, suggest a job on campus.
Third…
Cell phones according to Dr. Ellingson, are “the world’s longest umbilical cords.” Some students call home 5, 6, 7 times a day. In our day, we waited in line for the phone down the hall on Sundays — when long distance was cheaper — and horror of all horrors — there wasn’t such a thing as a cell phone!
Don’t let your child’s crisis become your crisis. Let them problem solve. Ellingson’s example was a daughter who called her mom and said, “I flunked my midterm. The professor hates me…” After consoling her crying daughter, the mother called back later with more advice. The daughter was like, “Huh? What are you talking about? Everything’s fine.”
Fourth …
They are learning to become themselves. Making new friends. They will be grieving and letting go of high school friendships, but will build new and deeper ones. A main developmental issue is finding their identity. Their core stays the same, which has been developing over the past 18 years. But, how they express themselves changes.
They may try on new identities by copying new friends to see how it fits or feels. You may say to yourself, and hopefully not to your child, “Who the hell is this?” Then you meet their new friend, and say to yourself, “Oh, now I see who this is!”
Intellectually they are still developing. They see things differently than before. They love to debate. They will try out their debating skills, or how to express themselves by choosing opinions contrary to yours, even if it isn’t what they truly believe.
And Fifth…
Dr. Ellingson talked about independence: “Their first steps as a toddler are towards you. Every step after that is running away from you.”
They need to discover how to be on their own — and this is one of their fears. Delayed maturation is common. It used to be people matured around 19, 20, 21. Today it’s 26, 27 or 28. They will say to you “Leave me alone!” Then, “bail me out!” This is normal. The pendulum will swing back and forth.
Just remember to love them, guide them, but let them figure it out. The more we solve their problems, the more we delay their growth into independent, responsible adults.
Five years ago, I went to orientation with my daughter at the University of Utah. I had gone to college orientation with my son at UC Santa Barbara a few years earlier, I didn’t expect to learn much because I didn’t think orientation was that helpful the first time around. Looking back, I may not have been that open to the information they were sharing.
Third…
