Category Archives: Birthdays

Happy Birthday Dear Daughter!

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daughter
My beautiful daughter at the beach.

Happy birthday to my sweet, funny and witty daughter.

Kat in a dry suit at the beach with big brother Robert.

I love this photo of my daughter because it shows her personality. I used to write about her all the time. But she told me to stop it. She said “I’m not your content.”

We used to spend summers in Laguna Beach to escape the high heat of Palm Springs (most days are over 110 degrees and some days reach 125 degrees!) Those are my favorite memories. My husband would be stuck working at home, except for weekends, while I took the kids to play in the waves and sand during the week. My daughter was a little princess and hated to wear a wet suit as a toddler. She’d strip naked as soon as her suit got wet. I brought a bag full of swim suits to keep her comfortable and clothed.

Now she’s a sufficient adult, working and making ends meet. She’s interested in comedy and has taken classes in writing comedy as well as stand up. She’s courageous enough to have performed live on stage in San Francisco. I can’t say how proud I am of her to do that! Talk about taking a leap and getting out of your comfort zone. But maybe it is in her comfort zone?

There’s a sad side to her birthday for her and many of us. A friend she had in college shared the same birthday. I wrote about Lauren McCluskey HERE. I’m now making an annual donation to the foundation her mother set up in Lauren’s memory ever since I found out Lauren and my daughter shared birthdays. Lauren was shot and murdered while talking to her mother on the phone, walking home from night class. There’s a lot more to the story that is really hard.

I am so grateful to have my daughter in my life. I can’t imagine the pain that Lauren’s mother goes through on her birthday and every day.

Here’s a link to the Lauren McCluskey Foundation if you care to make a donation on her birthday. https://laurenmccluskey.org/

Virtual campaign in honor of Lauren’s Birthday scheduled for February 12th, 2025

Happy birthday to my wonderful daughter! I love her so much.

What are some of your favorite memories of your childhood or when your children were young?

Travel and sickness

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Pretty kitty
Olive hanging out on the guest bed. The bedding was my daughter’s growing up.

Yesterday was my son’s birthday. I was going to repost my son’s birthday story, where he asked to have 50 kids for his second grade birthday party. We had adopted Angus, our yellow lab, from Guide Dogs of the Desert the year before. I wrote about his birthday party in honor of Angus where our son asked for donations to Guide Dogs instead of presents. He raised $1,600. You can read the story HERE.

I remember our family driving to Guide Dogs to meet Angus. I was nervous about the dog and after we had him in the car, I ran back into the office to ask if I could bring him back — if he didn’t work out. The woman looked at me like I was crazy.

Then she said, “Here are his medical records.” I looked at the paperwork and noticed Angus shared the same birthday with my son. I realized that was it. There was no going back.

We loved Angus until after my son went off to college. My daughter was a junior in high school when we had to say good-bye.

When I looked at my posts from last year, I discovered I had COVID this week in 2023. I had traveled to Washington state to spread my mom’s ashes on her birthday and got sick.

Last week, I got sick after my trip to Santa Barbara which I planned for my mom’s birthday. I’m very stuffed up, have a low-grade fever and I’m achy. I can’t stand being sick and this is my second bug since Christmas. Strange that every time I travel, I seem to get sick.

This current bug was because a woman who was on our tour by shuttle bus sneezed and coughed on us. Why she didn’t bow out of activities and stay in the gorgeous hotel was beyond me. I would have.

Actually, I never got sick traveling to Mexico by car. It’s only when I fly somewhere. In Puerto Penasco, our beach get away four hours south, we eat meals outdoors, we stay in a condo and we’re apart from other people. However, I read that last week they found seven bodies outside of town all shot. They were all men, wearing military gear and our government identified them as cartel members. So, no Mexico for me right now.

Do you get sick after traveling? Or is it just me?

What do you think of people who won’t stay home when they’re sick?

Three Things to Think About

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Jolyn swimsuit for athletes

This is a photo of a diver from Jolyn’s website. Jolyn creates swimsuits designed for athletes.

FIRST THING:

Three coincidences happened over the weekend within one hour.

I was talking to our guests about Jolyn swimsuits after my friend asked about the Jolyn stickers on my Hydroflask.

I explained that when my daughter was in high school, Jolyn hit the scene in Southern California. Jolyn was immediately popular because the suits don’t come off in the ocean or swimming in the pool — yet they added some fashion flair. My daughter said their stickers were popular with her age group. Swimmers put the stickers on their water bottles, placed at the end of their lanes during swim practice. That was great advertising for Jolyn.

The minute that conversation was over, I was pinged a Jolyn ad on my iphone.

(My stickers on my Hydroflask came from birthday swimsuits from daughter. I asked her to order suits with their biggest behind coverage possible. I love my Jolyns.)

Next, my friend was baking my husband a belated birthday cake. We were all four talking about his age (which I won’t disclose.) Ping. My iphone sent me an article on how to celebrate a birthday of that particular age.

The final iphone thing was after I pointed out these two coincidences. The friend’s hubby said, “They are listening to your conversations. You need to turn off certain things on you iphone.”

Ping. Article popped up, “What Apple doesn’t want you to turn off.”

Those three things happened within one hour.

Coincidence? Or Not? What are your thoughts?

SECOND THING:

A text I received from my son. He introduced me to Wordle over a year ago and taught me his formula.

I texted this back at him:

Notice they are identical except my squares are black. It’s not a coincidence. If you want to know the formula, I’ll let you know.

THIRD THING:

Heart-shaped potato

This is a potato I discovered this weekend. I wanted to share it with Mama Lava from Mama Lava’s Back Porch.

This month she is posting 28 days of love that include uplifting messages, scripture and hearts she has found in nature. I wanted to post this potato on her blog, but WP wouldn’t let me place an image in her comments.

Do you know how to place images in comments? If so, please share.

What are your thoughts about my things posted above?

Another mother’s heartache

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On Monday, I was celebrating fun memories of my daughter on her birthday. Then I saw a post by a mother whose daughter shared the same birthday with my daughter. Our daughters knew each other as student-athletes at the University of Utah. I didn’t know they had the same birthday until Monday. I texted my daughter if she knew. She said she did. I remember how devastated my daughter was on the day she learned of Lauren’s death.

As I was rejoicing the life of my daughter, this mother was grieving her loss. I burst into tears realizing how fortunate I am.

The other mom heard her daughter’s death happen, on the phone, while she was talking to her daughter when she was shot to death by a stalker.

“‘There but for the grace of God, go I.”

Lauren’s story is a harrowing event that made national news. The mother has worked to keep Lauren’s memory alive, plus began a foundation with the following mission:

Our Mission

Dating violence and stalking are some of the most pressing issues facing universities and colleges today. One third of all women report dating violence by a current or previous partner. University and college campuses are not trained to respond effectively to these problems. The Lauren McCluskey Foundation was founded to honor the life and spirit of Lauren Jennifer McCluskey by bringing awareness to, funding research for, and providing resources to change the culture that responds poorly to dating violence and stalking on campuses.

Our mission is to let Lauren’s light shine by supporting her passions, including animal welfare, amateur athletics, and by making campuses across the country a place where students are safe, supported, and have the ability to thrive.

https://laurenmccluskey.org/

If you’d like more information about Lauren and the Lauren McLuskey Foundation, please visit their website at https://laurenmccluskey.org/.

Here’s a story from their website that was written on the fifth anniversary of her death: Universities worldwide make ‘Lauren’s Promise’ to listen, believe, 5 years after McCluskey murder

How can I be so fortunate while this other mother is in pain?

What I Miss About My Daughter

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Happy birthday to my daughter! Yes, I miss her, but I’m happy she’s living near my son and DIL, has her pug Waffles and a job she enjoys.

I wrote this when we dropped our daughter off at college several years ago. Now that she’s living in the adult world — I still miss these things about her. We were lucky to have her sheltering in place with us for a couple of months. That was one of the good things that happened in 2020 — not COVID-19 and being locked down — but getting the chance to spend time together.  

excited child at the beach
Kat at Carpinteria State Beach on a camping trip.

We took our daughter to college two weeks ago. She looks really happy in the photos posted on FB and Instagram. She’s made new friends, is enjoying her team and coaches — and likes her classes.

My life is busy with new and old projects. But, I notice a quiet, a sort of waiting sense, that I didn’t feel before. It’s the little things about her that I miss.

close up of swimmer swimming butterfly
Kat swimming

I miss her cracking my back. She would give me a hug, tell me to relax and say, “One, two..” and lift me up in the air before she said three. The result was cracking, popping relief.

I miss her making me laugh. Kat is funny. I love her little half smile when she knows she’s especially clever. And the crinkles around her eyes when she laughs out loud.

I miss her cleaning out my wallet and organizing it for me. She’d say, “Mom your purse is a gateway to hoarding.”

I miss her walking through the kitchen door after her morning workout asking me to make her eggs. I don’t have anyone to make eggs for right now — except my husband and me — and we rarely eat them.

I miss her cat Olive walking on the skinny end of her four poster bed while she watched Netflix on my laptop.

precious baby kitten
Baby Olive

I miss when she was very young and called yellow “lallo.”  When we’d go to the beach, she’d strip naked as soon as her suit got wet. I used to bring a bag full of swimsuits for her.

Kat in a dry suit at the beach with big brother Robert.
Kat in a dry suit at the beach with big brother Robert.

I miss going to the pool and watching practice, chatting with the other swim parents. That was a luxury that I took for granted.

Yes, I miss her and I hope she knows how much I love her. Happy birthday!

Kat making an entrance into the room.
Kat making an entrance into the room.

What are the little things you miss the most about your kids who have left home — or friends you no longer see very often?

Happy birthday to my dear son!

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Robert at the beach
My son at the beach when he was younger.

Today is my son’s birthday. It was also our big yellow lab Angus’s birthday.

The following story was first published in the Los Angeles Times Sunday paper in the Kids’ Reading Room section. It’s the true story of my son’s second grade birthday party. I repost this story each year in honor or my son and Angus.

Robert with the Easter Bunny
My son with the Easter bunny.



A Birthday for the Dogs

“MOM, I’m inviting 50 kids to my party.”

“What, Robert?” Mom said. “That’s too many. Do you know 50 kids?”

I sat in the back seat while Mom drove home after school. My eighth birthday was in two weeks. 

“There’s my class, plus Cub Scouts, and playgroup.”

“I can’t afford to take 50 kids skating or bowling. And I don’t want 50 kids in my house. What about the city pool? It’s heated, open year-round, and it’s only 50¢ a kid,” Mom said.

“A swim party, that’s cool!” I said.

“I’ll say yes to the party, but no to presents. Fifty presents are too much for one eight-year-old. It’s decadent.”

“What’s decadent?” I asked. Mom used words I didn’t know.

“Self-indulgent, corrupt.”

I sat silently and thought I’d be sad with no presents. Then I remembered Angus. Mom got him for me as an early birthday present. We were on a waiting list for two years with Guide Dogs of the Desert. He was being trained as a companion dog for people who couldn’t see. We got him because he had poor hips and couldn’t be a working dog. Angus was big, yellow, and I loved him. We shared the same birthday.

“I have a great idea!”

“What?” Mom asked, glancing at me in her rearview mirror.

“I’ll ask for money for Guide Dogs of the Desert.”

“Ah?” Mom made a weird swallowing noise.

“It’s Angus’s birthday, too.”

Big yellow lab
Angus

In the rearview mirror I watched Mom dab at the corner of her eyes with a tissue, and nod her head in agreement.

Two weeks later, I had a great birthday. Fifty kids came with bathing suits, towels and money. Instead of opening presents after cake, we counted dollars they had stuffed into a large licorice jar decorated with photos of Angus. 

Together, we raised more than $1,600 for Guide Dogs. Mom called me a “philanthropist” – whatever that is.

Angus and Robert

Happy birthday, son! We miss you, Angus!

Unusual gifts

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Presents from my kids.

My son, his girlfriend and my daughter spoiled me with a pile of gifts for my birthday. The packages arrived all week and I was instructed not to touch or open anything. On my birthday morning, my husband stacked the gifts on the counter in our casita.

This whole pile is to make a cup of coffee. That’s right. All these items are used for “Pour Over” coffee. When I last went to Berkeley to help my son post foot surgery, I learned the arduous task of pour overs. The first time I made coffee my son said to me, “You didn’t let this bloom long enough.”

It did taste bitter, a side effect of not enough “bloom.”

If you’re curious what was in all the packages, the big bag held the grinder. The smaller packages included Ethiopian beans, a scale, a bowl to put on the scale to weigh the beans, a glass carafe to make and hold the coffee, coffee filters, a platter to put under the grinder (from a Finnish artist — since I’m of Finnish descent) and a special kettle with a thermometer on it to get hot water at the exactly correct temperature.

Here are the presents unwrapped — the Pour Over paraphernalia.

Why did they choose to give me pour over coffee equipment? It’s because at my son’s house, I began to enjoy the process of making coffee every morning. When I returned home, I called my son and said that my Keurig coffee — even the special Starbuck’s Holiday Blend — was tasteless. I could have been drinking water.

Here’s the secret recipe to making a good cup of pour over coffee:

Fill the kettle with water and turn on the burner.

Weigh 30 grams of beans in the small bowl.

Put a filter on the Chemex carafe.

Place the carafe on the scale.

Grind the beans right before the water is at the correct temperature.

Pour hot water into the filter to get it wet.

Pour water out of the carafe.

Place ground coffee into the wet filter.

Pour 60 grams of hot water from the kettle over the coffee grinds — making sure it’s all wet.

Let it “bloom” for several minutes. Bubbles will appear on the surface of the grinds.

Pour 100 grams of hot water onto the filter holding the ground coffee beans.

Wait for the coffee to drip.

Repeat three more times.

The result is an excellent, bold, full flavored cup of coffee! There’s something about the process that is relaxing and satisfying. Otherwise, it would be too much work — even for superior tasting coffee.

A friend from Palm Springs called with birthday wishes. I asked her if she knew about “Pour Over” coffee. She said, “Yes. My two son-in-laws have all that stuff. The glass carafe, the coffee grinder. I have to get to work in the morning. I drink a cup of instant.”

We met friends at a restaurant for my birthday dinner. They walked in with a huge wrapped gift. It reminded me of when I was a child and I’d get a large doll in a big box! I was so excited.

What was in the box? Pink flamingos. Now I need to find a home for them in the yard!

Have you heard of Pour Over coffee? Have you tried it? What are your thoughts of pink flamingos?