I recently wrote about a weird thing that happened with Facebook. Somebody commented on a five-year old photo of Waffles needing emergency surgery. Then the post got more comments and my 94-year-old dad even called to find out if Waffles was okay. I couldn’t figure out why that old post was making the rounds, because it didn’t come up as a memory to me and I didn’t share it with anyone.
Well, wouldn’t you know it! Waffles had emergency surgery yesterday! My daughter wondered if there was a connection to the FB post and Waffles back in ER. Was there something with the vibes or was he jinxed because of that post?
He got sick shortly after that and wouldn’t eat and if he drank water it came right back up. My daughter had a sleepless week but through subcutaneous fluids and several trips to the ER, Waffles’ tummy finally settled down. During this process the vet took an X-ray to make sure there wasn’t a blockage.
Waffles, my daughter’s pug, made it on “We Rate Dogs” a popular pupper site. Eventually it had more than 75,000 views. This photo was taken at the University of Utah pool. Waffles became the swim team’s mascot and sports marketing posed Waffles for social media posts.
The X-ray revealed his bladder was filled with stones that could be life threatening. I was worried about a 10-year-old pug going through anesthesia and surgery. They don’t have the best noses for breathing and are at risk with anesthesia. But as the parent of a 30-year-old, I didn’t have any say so or monetary involvement.
Waffles is home today with my daughter in the Bay Area post surgery and it all went well.
Here are two more Utah Swim Team photos of Waffles:
A Fun Waffles Tale:
When our daughter graduated college, her first job was in Scottsdale, Arizona and she lived in Tempe. I was visiting her and Waffles (from Palm Springs where we lived then) and we took a walk across the Tempe Town Lake pedestrian bridge. We were halfway across when a woman we had never met stopped us and asked, “Is that Waffles?” We were stunned! It turned out the woman was married to a Utah swim coach who took a job with ASU’s swim team and is now the head coach. She definitely was familiar with Waffles!
Do you have a favorite of these Waffles photos? If so, which one?
Do you think it’s a weird coincidence with the old FB post showing up and Waffles having surgery again?
This photo was from my daughter’s last PAC 12 championship swim meet in Federal Way, Wash. It’s a ball pit in the lobby of the Natatorium for photo ops. Every year, they had something different to pose with. I’m sitting at the top right, not in the ball pit, because I’m wearing a brace after wrecking my knee skiing. This group of women were my compadres at the University of Utah — all proud swim moms of Utes.
Last week I was surprised to see an email with the subject line: “Swim Mom Advice.”
That brought me back to the roller coaster days of being a swim mom. Both my kids began swimming with our local club team at an early age. My son swam through high school, my daughter all four years of college.
A woman was emailing me for advice about her daughter who was a swimmer in college. No, I didn’t recognize the name. I have never met her. Nor, do I know who her daughter is or where she goes to college.
So why was she emailing me?
I used to write a weekly swim parenting advice column for SwimSwam, the world’s most read swim site. You can look at my stories HERE. I have a page for them on my blog.
For my column, I read sports parenting books and websites from “real” sports parenting experts. I also listened to podcasts. Although I used first-hand stories, I actually did homework and didn’t just write things off the cuff.
After a couple years, I started getting emails from swim moms sharing specifics about their children, coaches or teams. They wanted my advice. I turned this into a feature called “Ask Swim Mom” which I rotated into my weekly column. One thing about writing for SwimSwam, I got a lot of comments — some good, some downright vicious. For my “Ask Swim Mom” column a common comment was to stop making up stupid questions. That wasn’t true. I was flattered people emailed me.
I started writing for SwimSwam after interviewing for a managing editor job. The job turned out to be weekends and evenings — covering big swim meets — and not for that point in my life. But I did submit a story I wrote about being a swim mom. The founder and CEO of SwimSwam called me. He told me that if SwimSwam were a movie, they had a cast of characters, but no one to play the role of “Swim Mom.” He was casting me!
What was the email about?
There are lots of changes in collegiate swimming. I think it’s due to trickle down of NIL from football and other big money sports. Swimming loses money. It takes a lot of money to fund a pool. Consequently, rosters of swimmers are being cut at many teams. This swim mom said that swimmers were being cut, but not her daughter. Some of her daughter’s roommates and best friends were out. People including moms weren’t speaking to each other. I can only imagine how hard that would be for all the parents and swimmers — those who are staying have survival guilt. Those who were cut are devastated.
In any case, it felt good to be a swim mom again for a day. I replied to her email and asked my daughter for her advice and included it, too.
In the end, my daughter transitioned from swimmer to swammer and became a working adult. Of course, COVID shut downs had a lot to do with it not being easy. My swim mom days were over and I thought to myself, “Who would want my advice anyway?” Hence the end of “Ask Swim Mom” and my weekly column for SwimSwam.
What time in your life do you look back on and miss — or not miss? And why?
Soon, we’ll be headed to Salt Lake City, Utah for a few days. We’re going to visit my husband’s childhood best friend and wife. While my daughter was at the U of U, we’d see them regularly. But we’ve only seen them a couple times since my daughter graduated. We’re making the trek to spend some time with them.
I looked up what I wrote in the past about SLC and this post popped up from 2018:
The last dual meet for these senior Utes.
After four years of visiting our daughter at the University of Utah, my love affair with Salt Lake City is sadly over. She left the great state of Utah to start a career in Arizona. Although my husband said we can always go back, I wonder, how often will we? My bet is that on a rare occasion we will trek up to see our friends the McKinneys or maybe go to an alumni swim meet. But, other than that, I will miss the gorgeous city surrounded by mountain peaks. Salt Lake City is a vibrant, clean, friendly yet small city.
Another thing that is amazing is the community spirit of rooting for the Utes. Everywhere you see “Go Utes!” murals, flags and signs. The football stadium is always sold out–rain or shine. The gymnastics team is the most attended women’s collegiate sport in the country with more than 15,000 fans in the Huntsman Dome.
A friend asked my daughter and me to put together a list of things to do in SLC for her niece who’s a freshman at the University of Utah. Most of our things to do revolved around food. But, all in all it’s a list of our favorite memories during four years of being Ute fans. Here’s our Salt Lake City guide for UTE students, parents and visitors:
Hotels
A view of the Grand America from the pool deck of the Little America Hotel.
The Grand America Hotel — nicest in SLC, fun to walk through, even if you don’t stay there. I never made it to Sunday Brunch, but it’s supposed to be amazing.
The Little America — same company, Sun Valley Company, owns both the Little and Grand America hotels. It’s very nice but a little more low key than the Grand America. Restaurants are great, try the Coffee Shop for comfort food and amazing hot rolls with butter. I loved the gym and pool and big rooms at a great price. Our home away from home in Salt Lake City.
FYI, we’ll be returning to our home away from home on our upcoming trip.
Restaurants
A sandwich and salad at Les Madeleines.
Valter’s Osteria — fine Italian, special occasion, delicious and great atmosphere. The owner Valter is so personable!
Market Street Grill — Pacific Northwest seafood flown in daily. Great for big parties or family lunch and dinner.
Sushi:
Takashi My favorite sushi restaurant. They have an excellent menu with many hot dishes, too.
Sapa My daughter’s favorite sushi restaurant. I think she and her friends liked the “all you can eat” special. Plus it was exciting for them their freshman and sophomore years, because you aren’t allowed in unless you’re with someone 21 years old or older.
Other Favorites:
Les Madeleines — small Parisian bakery/cafe for breakfast and lunch. I love the tomato basil soup with salad!
Freshies Lobster Co. — Park City must! Casual restaurant that started as a food truck serving lobster rolls and lobster salad, amazing! The best meal I ever had in Utah! So simple but delicious. Here’s a review by the Salt Lake Tribune which says they opened a Salt Lake City restaurant blocks away from my daughter’s old house.
Italian — Antica Sicilia and Doce Sicilia. Recommended by Matteo Songe, swimmer from Italy on the Utah Swim team. He said this was authentic Sicilian. The Carbonara pasta is prepared with flames in a cheese wheel tableside!
Aristo’s — family-operated Greek. Delicious. Outdoor seating on the patio in the summer.
We are trying a new Italian restaurant this trip.Matteo’s. Matteo was the swimmer and friend of our daughter’s I mentioned above. He was a distance and open water swimmer along with our daughter. We got to know him at Open Water Nationals one year. Our daughter said he stayed in the US and opened up this restaurant — which is now the place to go for special occasions.
City Creek Center — nicest mall with the most stores including Nordstrom, Lush, Apple, Sephora, etc. Shop Friday or Saturday if you’re there for a weekend, since the entire mall is closed on Sunday!
Sports at UTAH — go to football, gymnastics, basketball, swimming, etc. The crowds at football and student MUSS section are so enthusiastic. Red Rocks Gymnastics is a top five NCAA team consistently and they have 15,000 plus in attendance at meets — the most attended Olympic sport for collegiate women in the U.S.
Church — CenterPoint in Orem. Pastor Scott McKinney. Scott and my husband were best friends from grade school through high school. It was so nice to reconnect with Scott and his wife Sara. They provided our daughter with a home away from home. She was invited into their home for Father’s Day, Thanksgiving and whenever she wanted.
Downtown Salt Lake City, UT
Where your favorite places to visit and do you have any recommendations?
Saturday marks the first birthday that my daughter’s college teammate isn’t alive to celebrate. He committed suicide in December 2021. His birthday was July 2. He would have turned 25.
My heart hurts for all those who lost this amazing young man, including my daughter. I cannot imagine how his mom is able to get through this “holiday weekend.” He was especially close to his sister and she posted a loving story with photos on Instagram that I read and burst into tears.
We became close to the family at swim meets while our kids were in high school. We often sat with them at college dual meets and the PAC 12 championships.
I think many people left behind carry guilt. “If only I would have called.” “If only I could have let him know how much he meant to me.”
From the UCLA Health website:
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among people age 15 to 24 in the U.S. Nearly 20% of high school students report serious thoughts of suicide and 9% have made an attempt to take their lives, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Recent weeks have brought heartbreaking examples of this trend, including the March 1 death of Stanford soccer captain Katie Meyer, 22; and Ohio State football player Harry Miller’s revelations that he attempted suicide, shared his struggles with his coach and got help. Miller announced his medical retirement from football on March 10 in a Twitter post that’s been shared more than 10,000 times.
“This is not an issue reserved for the far and away,” wrote Miller. “It is in our homes. It is in our conversations. It is in the people we love.”
I know a lot of people have lost their love ones recently due to illness and then my daughter’s college friend. My heart and prayers go out to them all.
Scenic walk from our airbnb to downtown Park City.
Salt Lake City has been in the spotlight because of the historic vice presidential debate last night. Salt Lake City is a vibrant, clean, friendly yet small city that I fell madly in love with while my daughter went to the University of Utah. During her four years as a student-athlete, we took many trips to watch her swim meets and enjoy the gorgeous sights in SLC and surrounding mountains resorts.
We were impressed by the community spirit of rooting for the Utes. Everywhere there are “Go Utes!” murals, flags and signs. The football stadium is always sold out–rain or shine. The gymnastics team is the most attended women’s sport in the country with more than 15,000 fans in the Huntsman Dome.
When my daughter graduated and moved out of Utah, I really felt sad. I thought we’d never visit Utah again without her there. But, instead we rented an airbnb in Park City the past two summers. I love it more than ever. It is such a healthy, beautiful place to be to beat the desert heat.
A friend asked my daughter and me to put together a list of things to do in SLC for her niece who’s a freshman at the University of Utah. Most of our things to do revolved around food. But, all in all it’s a list of our favorite memories during four years of being Ute fans. Here’s our Salt Lake City guide for UTE students, parents and visitors:
Hotels
A view of the Grand America from the pool deck of the Little America Hotel.
The Grand America Hotel — nicest in SLC, fun to walk through, even if you don’t stay there. I never made it to Sunday Brunch, but it’s supposed to be amazing.
The Little America — same company, Sun Valley Company, owns both the Little and Grand America hotels. It’s very nice but a little more low key than the Grand America. Restaurants are great, try the Coffee Shop for comfort food and amazing hot rolls with butter. I loved the gym and pool and big rooms at a great price. Our home away from home in Salt Lake City.
Restaurants
A sandwich and salad at Les Madeleines.
Valter’s Osteria — fine Italian, special occasion, delicious and great atmosphere. The owner Valter is so personable!
Market Street Grill — Pacific Northwest seafood flown in daily. Great for big parties or family lunch and dinner.
Sushi:
Takashi My favorite sushi restaurant. They have an excellent menu with many hot dishes, too.
Sapa My daughter’s favorite sushi restaurant. I think she and her friends liked the “all you can eat” special. Plus it was exciting because you aren’t allowed in unless you’re with someone 21 years old or older.
Casual:
Les Madeleines — small Parisian bakery/cafe for breakfast and lunch. I love the tomato basil soup with salad!
Freshies Lobster Co. — Park City must! Casual restaurant that started as a food truck serving lobster rolls and lobster salad, amazing! The best meal I ever had in Utah! So simple but delicious. Here’s a review by the Salt Lake Tribune which says they opened a Salt Lake City restaurant blocks away from my daughter’s former house!
Amazing lobster roll at Freshies in Park City.
Italian — Antica Sicilia and Doce Sicilia. Recommended by Matteo Songe, a teammate of my daughter’s from Italy. He said this was authentic Sicilian. The Carbonara pasta is prepared with flames in a cheese wheel table side!
Aristo’s — family-operated Greek. Delicious. Outdoor seating on the patio in the summer.
City Creek Center —nicest mall with the most stores including Nordstrom, Lush, Apple, Sephora, etc. Shop onFriday or Saturday if you’re there for a weekend, since the entire mall is closed on Sunday!
Sports at UTAH — go to football, gymnastics, basketball, swimming, etc. The crowds at football and student MUSS section are so enthusiastic. Red Rocks Gymnastics is a top five NCAA team consistently and they have 15,000 plus in attendance — the most attended Olympic sport for collegiate women in the U.S.
Church — CenterPoint in Orem. Pastor Scott McKinney. Scott and my husband were best friends from grade school through high school. It was so nice to reconnect with Scott and his wife Sara. They provided our daughter with a home away from home.
Downtown Salt Lake City, UT
Where your favorite places to visit and do you have any recommendations?
Two years ago I wrote about the importance of having our kids play sports. Today, so many of our kids’ opportunities have been taken away thanks to COVID-19. With the Big 10 deciding to allow sports to resume this fall, I’m hoping the PAC 12 will join them. My daughter was a swimmer in the PAC 12 for the Utes and I’m a third generation UW Dawg. I think so many activities for our kids, regardless of their ages, will sorely be missed this year. Here are many of the reasons why our kids need to play sports:
My kids at the last PAC 12 Championship Meet.
I’ve written extensively that one of the best things we did for our kids was sign them up with the Piranha Swim Team, our local USA Swimming club team. There are too many benefits to list, but here are a few: physical fitness, self confidence, friendships, teamwork, good sportsmanship, and time management.
I found a parenting column written by syndicated columnist Armin Brott in the Courier from Waterloo, Iowa where he’s asked “You’ve talked a lot about kids and sports. Why are sports so important?”
His answers touch on several different areas including how healthy sports are for kids. I agree that the health aspects are great. My kids have always been physically fit and never battled with being a couch potato or being overweight. My son who left swimming after high school works out like a mad man. He wakes up at 4:30 a.m. to row in the Bay area’s Estuary with a rowing club and he works out at a gym. My daughter swam through college and likes to try other activities like spin classes, kick boxing and yoga. Their high level of fitness began when they were young kids and it’s an integral part of their life to feel good physically.
Here’s what Brott said in his article:
One in three children is now overweight or obese — triple the rate it was for us — and school shootings and other violence committed by children, which was largely unheard of in our day, is startlingly common.
The question of what we can do to, quite literally, save our children (or at least improve their lives) is a popular one. Despite all the debate, one of the most effective solutions to so many of the problems that affect young people these days rarely comes up: sports.
Kids who get involved in sports during middle and especially high school are better off in a variety of important ways. Compared to non-athletes, sports-involved kids are less likely to be obese, smoke tobacco or take drugs, and have better cardiovascular fitness, coordination and balance. Student athletes also get better grades and are more likely to graduate high school and go on to college; they handle stress better, have better self-esteem and are less likely to report feeling lonely or anxious or to become teen parents.
Sports also teaches kids valuable skills in communication, cooperation, teamwork, goal setting, problem solving, learning to lose, resilience, respect for authority, controlling their emotions, patience, self-sacrifice and more, says Graham Clark, a retired high-school football coach in Kingsport, Tenn.
Another topic the author touches on in his column is Title IX. Although the purpose of Title IX is admirable–allowing more opportunities for women in sports at the college level–like most things a bunch of politicians come up with — there are unintended consequences. The unintended consequences are less opportunities for men. Because of the large rosters of football teams, and Title IX require a proportional number of female and male athletes, lots of smaller men’s teams get the axe. In the PAC 12, the conference my daughter swam in, there are nine women’s swim teams while only six for men. In Division 1 Swimming, there are 136 teams for men while there are 196 women’s team. As for scholarships, men have 1,346.4 and women 2,716.
Here’s what the column says about Title IX:
We also need to develop policies and procedures to ensure that children and young adults have access to sports at every level. Right now, colleges around the country, and a small but growing number of high schools, are using Title IX — which is ostensibly designed to promote equality — to cut sports programs, especially those for men and boys. They’re using the concept of “proportionality,” which states that percentages of male and female student athletes must be the same as the percentages of male and female students in the institution as a whole.
Nationwide, the on-campus female-to-male ratio is 57:43. However, since those percentages are roughly reversed for student athletes, institutions are resorting to cutting men’s teams to produce “equity.”
“With all the known positive benefits that boys gain from participating in sports, it makes absolutely no sense to cut male athletes from high school teams just to comply with Title IX’s gender quota,” says Eric Pearson, chairman, American Sports Council.
My kids and their teammates at a meet in Irvine years ago.
How are your kids’ activities impacted because of the Coronavirus?
The traditional college experience is on hold. I know kids who may not be going to campus until next year — as in 2021. Many college students can take courses online and but aren’t getting a break with the cost. Also, I especially feel for student-athletes who don’t get to compete in their sports. After years of hard work and dedication, they must feel disappointed or even robbed. Hopefully the world will get back to normal and this will be a blip in the rearview mirror. I wrote the following story a few years ago questioning if everyone really needs college?
Why spend $120,000 for a state university or $400,000 for a private school out of your
life-savings or saddle your kids with debt? What are the kids getting in return? A bill that will take them 30 years to pay off?
I have several friends whose children are going off to college next year. They have opted for a year of work to save, two years of community college out of town, or staying at home and going to the local community college. Then they will transfer to a UC school. I was always a fan of the four-year experience because that’s how I was raised. But, this makes practical sense. Why take out a loan as big as a mortgage for an education that you can at least cut the costs in half?
Several years ago I wrote some thoughts about the college experience and why so many kids fail or drop out. With the high costs of college it doesn’t make sense to waste that money if your kids aren’t ready. Here’s my thoughts:
I wonder why so many kids fail college? I was shocked to read a statistic from the ACT that 50% of freshman students do not return for their second year. Then, 30% of those remaining, do not graduate within five years!
Why? What can we do to better prepare our kids for college? There is so much pressure on our kids to get into great schools. You’d think with the great expense, and all their work to get in, it would be a breeze once they are there. But, it’s not.
My daughter and friend on a recruit trip.
Here’s my list of why I think kids fail their freshman year:
ONE
Too many kids go to college. I do not think everyone should go. When I was in high school the majority of students did not continue their education past high school. They were able to get jobs, support themselves and their families without a college education. There are many trades and careers that can support families like plumbers, contractors, electricians, hair dressers, masseuses, etc. Today, a college degree has become the norm and standard. There are many kids who would be better served to work for a few years, and then decide if they want to go to college. By having everyone go, and not everyone is equipped to go, some kids are set up for failure.
TWO
High school doesn’t prepare kids for college. The work is often spoon-fed by teachers in little lumps of daily assignments and reading. Having a syllabus with a couple dates on it and no day-to-day requirements is more what college is like. It takes discipline, motivation and self-determination to not procrastinate but to work and study in advance of deadlines.
A gorgeous location. UCSB.
THREE
We do too much. As helicopter, hovering parents, we are afraid to let our kids fail. We don’t let our kids learn from their mistakes. They need to have more chores, part-time jobs or something to do besides homework. Some of the crazy, heavy AP schedules don’t allow for real-life experiences. Plus, we cater to our kids’ every need—even to the point of helping them complete projects or assignments. My conversation with four-time Olympian and former University of Texas head coach Jill Sterkel included some great advice that you can read on SwimSwam here. She believes in letting kids work out their problems in a less high-stakes environment. We need to give them room to do this.
FOUR
Millennials mature later, according to Kari Ellingson, Vice President at the University of Utah. I attended a talk by her at orientation with my daughter. I wrote more about her talk here. According to Ellingson, “It used to be people matured around 19, 20, 21. Today it’s 26, 27 or 28.” It’s no wonder they can’t handle the many demands of laundry, getting their own food, studying, etc. Maybe our kids are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of college at age 18?
What do you think are the reasons why so many kids fail in college? What alternatives have you seen to high college costs?
My kids not wanting me to take their pic on the UCSB campus.
Why spend $120,000 for a state university or $400,000 for a private school out of your
