No Parents Allowed!


This week, while I am recovering from surgery, I am reposting some of my earliest blog posts. Enjoy! I’ll try to make it back to work next week.

I was sitting outside a roped off area with a sign posted “No Parents Allowed” at a three-day swim meet in LA with close to 1,400 swimmers.

“But, I HAVE to get my son this bottle of water,” a mom begged the volunteer parent wearing a neon orange vest, who was in charge of guarding the entrance to the “swimmer’s only” area.

“ARE YOU PROMISING TO GET MY SALLY TO HER EVENT ON TIME? I’M HOLDING YOU ACCOUNTABLE!” another mother yelled with her finger wagging in the face of the orange-vested volunteer. The mom was shaking in frustration and anger.

I sat calmly by — watching, observing, and remembering  —  that was me. Not the yeller, but the one pleading. My daughter is 18 and going off to college next fall. She’s been a swimmer since age five.

Helicopter after helicopter mom argued and pleaded with the volunteers, who are swim parents themselves, on how they’d just be a second to find their child, bring them water, lunch, or make sure they made it to their event.

I wanted to tell them “RELAX!” If their swimmers had made it this far, to the season’s championship meet, they’re going to be okay. Calm down, let them hang out with their friends and teammates. They’ll be fine and will survive. After all, I had just made it through watching my daughter swim the mile. I didn’t get up once and scream, “GO!” which I have done at every flip turn for the past 15 years. If I can calm down and let go — you other moms can too!

And — if they don’t drink enough water, or miss their event — they might actually learn from it.


Here are 10 great things to remember as a parent of children in any sport. It’s from USA Swimming.


I. Thou shall not impose thy ambitions on thy child.

II. Thou shall be supportive no matter what.

III. Thou shall not coach thy child.

IV. Thou shall only have positive things to say at a competition.

V. Thou shall acknowledge thy child’s fears.

VI. Thou shall not criticize the officials.

VII. Thou shall honor thy child’s coach.

VIII. Thou shall be loyal and supportive of thy team.

IX. Thy child shall have goals besides winning.

X. Thou shall not expect thy child to become an Olympian.


More handy tips can be found at USA Swimming’s page for parents.

FYI, the top photo of my daughter’s relay team was taken by a 12-year-old teammate, who obviously can make it to her events, stay hydrated, swim fast, and take great pics! The second photo is my daughter 12 years ago. The last photo was taken from the “parents only” section of the East LA College pool.

Video of my daughter’s 400 free relay from TAKEITLIVETV from Feb. 17.


The last meet is coming


PAC 12 2015

There I’ve said it. My daughter’s last meet is days away. It’s her senior year and her final meet will be the PAC 12 conference meet in Federal Way, WA. I’m kind of jumbled up on how I feel about it. I love being a swim mom and I find myself looking back on little moments with nostalgia and sadness. I will miss going to her meets.

My husband and I were browsing through the App called Meet Mobile this morning looking at different conference results from local schools where our children’s friends are swimming like UCSB and UCSD. I realized that I know a couple of the seniors’ names, but other than that there aren’t a whole lot of swimmers I recognize.

The past few years haven’t been all rosy. After a great freshman year, she got a high ankle sprain chasing after Trax, the public transportation train in Salt Lake City. That meant she couldn’t push off the walls for weeks during long course season and didn’t get her Olympic Trial cut. I think that was a devastating blow to her at the time, although it doesn’t seem like such a big deal now.

Then at last year’s PAC 12s, she got the flu. A really bad flu where the coaches didn’t let her swim or even out of her room until the final day of the meet. It was decidedly weird sitting in the stands for PAC 12s and not having a participant in the meet. Her last and only event she gave it everything she had. I was so nervous I thought I’d faint. I wasn’t sure if she was going to survive that mile-long race, but she did. Her coach said it was a “heroic swim” and he was so proud of her. It was close to a best time.

This year she’s been fighting through a bad shoulder injury. I worry if it was because she started swimming so young, so intensely or for so many years? What should I have done differently as a swim parent? Make her stop? Let her take time off?

She will take time off this year. But what I’m hoping for is next year, after my surgery and I’ve healed, that she will swim with me at a Masters meet–so I can be a swimmer and a swim mom all in one day.



My daughter’s coaches and teammates cheering for her during the 1650 at last year’s PAC 12s.

Any bets on if I’ll cry at my daughter’s final college meet?




What My Kids Learned While Staying Wet

Palm Springs Pool

This was one of my first blog posts. This is also one of the pieces that I wrote about how positive swimming has been for me, my husband and kids. I hope you enjoy it!

One of the most important things they learned is perseverance. That stick-with-it never give up attitude that is ingrained in their brains after years of trying for swim goals and just missing them. Then trying and trying again and again until they make them. The very nature of swimming 50 weeks a year, six days a week, makes kids tough.

I’ll never forget my daughter’s frustration of missing her junior national cut by fractions of a second for two years. She didn’t give up. She worked hard. She would still miss.


“Are you kidding me!” She said looking at the scoreboard to see her missing the coveted junior national cut by mere tenths of a second after dropping three full seconds on an 800-meter freestyle race.

The next race, she said, “I’m so done with this!”  She dove in with more determination than ever, and yes, she made her cut, dropping seconds on her 200-meter free and coming in second place to one of the fastest girls in the country.

So, what does all this have to do with life?  Take her hardest class, AP Stats.  She knows that she can do it. She just has to put in the work and time. That may mean getting up and into the classroom at 6 a.m. for extra help, rather than staying warm tucked into her bed. But, she does it — all on her own — without me suggesting it. Her teacher told me, “I know that she will do whatever it takes to be successful, so I am not worried about where her grade is today.”


My son also swam. He worked so hard for every goal, trying to qualify for meets through ten years of year-round swimming. I’ll never forget his determination as an 8th grader. I was a chaperone for his Washington DC trip with his class. He knew he’d be missing too much swimming, so he would run up and down through the Mall, up and down the steps to the Lincoln Memorial, while everyone else strolled. At night in the hotel, he ran the gray cement staircases, up and down the five flights.

When he returned to the pool, he did it! He made his first Junior Olympic time.

Now he’s in college and he knows how to persevere. He wanted to work at the campus radio station. He put in his application as a freshman and was declined. As a junior he has been assigned a time slot on the FM station, moving up from his prior show on the AM.

You can listen to his show on kcsb here Fridays at 4 a.m. PST.

He wanted to be in the College of Creative Studies, “a graduate school for undergraduates.” He applied and was devastated when he was declined. I told him to move on, it was okay, get a ‘normal’ degree. But, he didn’t give up. The next year he applied again and was accepted. Learn more about the UCSB CCS program here. Just click.

I’ve had friends ask why my kids spend so much time in the pool, aren’t they missing out?

I beg to differ.  Spending most of their lives in the water has served them well. Being mostly wet has given them skills for life.

Find a local swim club here on the USA Swimming website.



Photo credits: The Palm Springs, CA Pool — one of the most beautiful views while swimming ever. My daughter diving wearing the yellow cap. Yellow-capped swimmers sometime at some club meet. And a great meme for a distance swimmer.



Four years in the blink of an eye!



Celebrating victory after the Utes vs. Cougar meet.

I was afraid I was going to have tears streaming down my cheeks. I forgot to bring tissues and I was feeling apprehension, anxiety, sadness and nostalgic all at once. It was the morning of my daughter’s last college home meet on “Senior Day” and the senior girls who gritted it out for four years of being D1 student-athletes were going to be recognized.


We moms of senior girls have been texting and emailing the past month or two planning ways to make this day extra special. I think that was one of way preparing ourselves for the end of our swim mom careers.

When we were at the airport leaving home, I was told the flight was overbooked and I was the one selected to be bumped. I couldn’t believe it. This was the second time in a row I got the lucky ticket! I showed the agent that I had purchased our tickets August 1st–more than six months prior! And paid full price! And was in their frequent flier plan. They said they were sorry, but the computer picked me to be “bumped” and they’d try to get someone to give up their seat. This was way too stressful for me and I think I cried more tears at the airport than any other time throughout the weekend. From kindergarten to her senior year in college, my daughter had worked hard at swimming and I was going to miss her final dual meet? Fortunately, someone took a $600 coupon, gave up their seat, and I made it to Utah.

Back to the morning before the last dual meet, I battled with getting my leg brace on. It took me three tries to get it on the right way and then I worried about being late for the short ceremony that was going to proceed the meet. I snapped at my husband and realized that I was feeling stressed over one of these “milestone occasions.” I wanted everything to be perfect.

On the drive to the pool, I settled down. I realized we weren’t going to be late and I began to think of great memories swimming has given our family throughout the years. It was my daughter’s birthday weekend and I recalled since she was a little girl, her birthday always fell on a swim meet. I remembered when she was 13, one of the “hot” fast swimmer boys told her “Happy birthday!” at the meet. After that, she was known as the “girl who so-and-so said happy birthday to.”

The ceremony went off without a hitch. I didn’t cry but thoroughly enjoyed every moment with the other senior parents. The girls routed their opponents who have been fierce rivals and just happens to be my alma mater’s number one rival. My daughter swam her last 1,000 of her collegiate career and did so well, especially since she’s been fighting an injury all season. Afterwards, we parents were on the pool deck giving hugs, taking photos and sharing memories from their college days. We got together for dinner, joined by our dear friends who live nearby and have welcomed our daughter into their home for four years. No one can believe how quickly these years flew by.

I didn’t cry like I thought I would. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s because there’s one more meet to go, PAC 12s, their conference meet. I don’t think I’ll escape the tears then.




Seniors at their last dual meet.





My Favorite Moments As a Swim Mom


Record-breaking relay.

Being a swim mom has been an integral part of my life. I think giving our kids the gift of swimming has benefitted them in so many ways that I can’t count them all. But number one is their love of working out and being physically fit. The gifts I received were countless, too, especially the memories.

Here are my top ten memories that make me love my years of being a swim mom:

When my daughter’s relay won the 200 medley at CIF and she was anchor.

At age eight she stopped mid 50 meters freestyle to smile at the head coach. Her regular coach wasn’t at the meet and she was nervous and wanted to impress the head coach.

When my son took over the annual banquet and emceed “special” awards for the senior group. We parents were rolling on the floor laughing.

Watching the kids having fun playing “Catch Phrase” and cards under the pop-up tent at meets.


My young swimmers.

When one parent on our team told swim mom Dianne Keaton that she looked just like a famous actress. She said she was Dianne Keaton and he argued with her.

When my son made an individual cut for junior olympics after trying so hard for so long.

Signing day for my daughter with her two teammates and coaches.


Missy Franklin with my daughter’s class at PAC 12’s.

My daughter’s first college meet where she won her first event, the 1,000 free—and it was against Stanford.


The first PAC 12 Championship meet where I learned it was cool again to be a crazy parent.

When both kids received the Coach’s Award not for their talent, but for their effort.


My son with his swim buddies.

What are your favorite memories as a parent?



Two Teens KickStart “Wotter”–A Girls’ Swim Parka


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  Becca and Niki, swim entrepreneurs

If you’re not a swimmer or a swim parent, you may not know about the swim parka. It’s a big, warm comfy thing that swimmers wear when it’s cold outside. In the swimming world, swimmers wear parkas to meets and practice so that when they jump out of the pool they can be covered up from head to ankle.

I spoke with two high school girls, Niki and Becca who entered a school entrepreneurial competition and won $250 with their girl’s empowerment parka. The idea behind the parka is that it’s more fashionable than the current unisex parka, it’s lightweight and has special details that girls will like. Here’s a photo:WotterSwimParka


The girls were smart, articulate and have a KickStarter campaign to get their project off the ground. They attend a private school in North Carolina called the Cary Academy and swim for the school’s team. I was very impressed with both girls and how far they’ve taken this project. To date, they have raised close to $12,000 and have endorsements from three Olympic swimmers, Kara Lynn Joyce, Annamay Pierse and JR DeSouza.

The name of their company is Wotter, based on the sleek and fast otter, plus water. Nicki’s mom is CEO of their company and they thanked her for all her hard work. Her background is in marketing, and she’s been instrumental in getting a prototype developed and getting the word out through newspapers, blogs and TV.

On their KickStarter page, you’ll find their motto: “Designed BY girl swimmers FOR girl swimmers Wotter Girl’s Swim Parka is a cloak of confidence and comfort for the female swim athlete.”

“We set out to create Wotter to empower girls like us (and you!) to stay in swimming AND to raise awareness that more female swim coaches are needed to create strong role models for young girls. Hopefully, we will also inspire more girl entrepreneurs to make their ideas a reality – creating this company and going through the KickStarter process has been an AMAZING experience for both of us!”

I hope they succeed, but I do have a couple questions after talking to several D1 scholarship swimmers about the girl empowerment parka. First, swim parkas are a small niche market and no one I talked with had a problem with the existing parkas. Then, by targeting only women, the parka market is sliced in half.


My daughter and friends in their team parkas.


According to Becca and Niki, their parka has the following features:

“We added things that the current models don’t have:

  • Oversized hood for ponies and top knots
  • Big zipper pulls easier for smaller, wet hands to grab
  • Less bulk, easier to wear
  • A wrap and snap feature to make it easy to put into a swimbag
  • Feminine lines and styling
  • Lots of other considerations, like secret pockets for iphones and headphones, big, deep pockets to warm your hands, venting and breathable fabrics…”Parka

Niki and Becca mentioned Jolyn to me and how that swimsuit company took off and became literally an overnight success. The difference I see with Jolyn, is that it solved a problem, namely it’s a So Cal company and it addressed the need to have a suit that stayed on in ocean waves. Traditional bikinis have bottoms or tops that can come off, and the crotch fills up with sand. Jolyn came up with a product that was attractive, comfortable and secure. Also, in Southern California, most pools are outside and swimmers practice in one piece suits. They are embarrassed about their suit tans and “white tummies” when they put on a bikini and head to the beach. Jolyn suits are worn at practice so swimmers can tan at practice.

Here’s the Jolyn motto:


At Jolyn we specialize in making good lookin’ athletic gear for the things we like to do. We like the water, we like being active, and we like having fun! Each and every product we create is brought to life with those ideas at their core. Oh and one more big one… We make stuff for the women who inspire us.

Whether you’re an Olympian or an Olympic caliber sunbather, our stuff is the stuff for you.

The Wotter parka is attractive and I especially like that it is lighter weight and can fit into a swim bag. I don’t know what coaches will think about the parka, though. Most parkas are purchased in team colors with the team’s name displayed. It’s a one-time, more than $100 purchase, which lasts literally forever. We still have the swim parkas my kids wore when they were in elementary school and now I wear them to practice. My kids never outgrew them and now my daughter wears her college-provided parka. Will parents buy an optional parka for their girls, because they’re cute? I think they will if their daughters want them enough and they become popular. I also see adult women wanting the parkas because of the style. They wouldn’t be restricted with team colors or a coach telling them what to wear. Niki and Becca said the parka is the first product they’re introducing and they hope to add more athletic wear targeted to girls.

Swim ParkaGood luck to Nicki and Becca! It will be fun to track their progress and see how far Wotter goes.

What’s your opinion of swim parkas designed by girls for girls?


A Conversation With Legendary Swimmer and Swim Mom Sippy Woodhead



Sippy Woodhead in Russia during her first U.S. National Team trip at age 13.

I had a great conversation yesterday with Cynthia “Sippy” Woodhead, a phenomenal swimmer who began breaking world records at the age of 14 and still holds a number of records for Southern California Swimming. She’s the mother of twins and enjoys being on deck in her role as a swim parent.


She has great advice for swim parents and works to ensure her kids enjoy the same carefree experience she enjoyed before the days of hovering and helicoptering parents. Sippy grew up a block from a pool and her summers were spent “waiting outside the gates for the pool to open at 10 a.m. and playing sharks and minnows and chasing lizards until it closed at 6 p.m.”

When she was a swimmer, she said meets were like “playdates” and she knew her parents were on deck, but she never saw them. To read more about Sippy and her accomplishments as a swimmer and her ideas on parenting click here.

As a swim family, we have great memories from meets at the Sippy Woodhead Pool. I’ll never forget that it was one of my daughter’s first long course meets and her age group coach wasn’t at the meet. It was the head coach instead and my daughter was a little nervous. When she swam her 50 free as she passed him, she lifted her head up high, paused mid-stroke and gave him a huge smile!

What a neat thing to get to talk to Sippy and understand the person behind the pool bearing her name. Her former swim team, Riverside Aquatics Association has a great story called “Who is Sippy?” on their website. Click here to read it.