Category Archives: swim moms

Tribute to a Legend: Coach Jon Urbanchek

Posted on by
34
Jon Urbanchek

Jon Urbanchek, Coach of University of Michigan, USC and US Olympic Team

RIP, Coach Urbanchek. He died May 9, 2024 at age 87.

“I’m not looking at how many fast times you have, or how many medals you’ve won, medals will tarnish, right? I’m looking at how many friendships you made.” -Coach Jon Urbanchek

When I was gathering stories for the SoCalSwimming History website, a swim official gave me Jon Urbanchek’s number to call. The year was 2017 and he was 80 years old. He told me how he was coaching part time at USC. I was amazed at his energy and how enthusiastic and friendly he was.

From my interview with Coach Urbanchek:

“I’m going to be 81 this year, and I still love the sport. I still volunteer coach at USC Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday because I love being with young people. I love the energy they put out. I think at my age it’s important to be active. I leave the house at 5 a.m. to get there at 6 a.m. driving through LA traffic. I’m officially retired but I’m very happy to be a part of the program. Even this year, I did the training camp for the national team. I’m still involved with the national team and USC. I want to continue on.”

I loved talking to him and learning his life story from leaving Communist Hungary, studying at University of Michigan to his decades-long career coaching.

He was a US Olympic coach on staff for ’92, ’96, ’00, ’04, ’08 and ’12. He was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame, Long Beach State Hall of Fame and University of Michigan Hall of Fame. 

There was an outpouring of love for him this week from the swimming community:

“It is hard to express how much Jon Urbanchek has meant to me since I first met him in 2012. He was my coach on the 2012 Olympic team and he has been a coach, a mentor and a friend since then. I learned so much from him. He was a kind and dedicated coach who never forgot his swimmers. I will never forget his dedication to our sport, his humor, his coaching style and his love for Team U.S.A. He was a coach of coaches. I know that all of my coaches learned something from him. I am so lucky to have had him as a part of my team….he never stopped coaching and encouraging me.”
— Katie Ledecky, three-time Olympian, seven-time Olympic gold medalist, 21-time world champion, and holder of three world records

“I can still hear him saying “keep it moving” “ey , _____ MOVE IT!”…. Thinking about what he taught me in and out of the pool… one of the most influential ppl I’ve had in my life…this man is a legend and truly one of one!

RIP buddy…. ❤️❤️ “
–Michael Phelps, legendary American swimmer who won 28 medals across five Olympics, making him the most decorated athlete in the history of the Summer Games.

“Undeniably among the legendary coaches of our time. Better was his inclusion of all of us on our way up. Fast friend to anyone who crossed his path. If you met him you were undoubtedly added to his contact list along with a selfie together. All of us in swimming owe his wife Melanie and daughter a debt of gratitude for sharing him with us.”
— Dave Salo, former U.S.A. National Team Coach and head coach at USC

“Jon Urbanchek was the Yoda to world swimming. Add on the sense of humor and occasionally needed warm hug. His wisdom grew and spread over the decades and his legacy will continue to influence future generations.  We will miss his presence and carry on his spirit. ‘Go Blue! Keep it movin!’” — Mike Bottom, former University of Michigan swimming and diving head coach (2008-23)

After my phone interview with Coach Urbanchek, I would run into him at swim meets.
I remember talking with him at Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic, Calif. I was there to cheer on our daughter.

He was coaching Haley Anderson, who swam the 10k in the 2012, 2016 and 2020 Olympics. We became friends with the Anderson family, because Haley’s younger sister, Jordan, swam with our daughter at the University of Utah. Haley and her sister Alyssa made the US Olympic team in London. Alyssa earned a gold medal for the 4 X 200 free relay, while Haley earned Silver, finishing 4/10s of a second — in the 6.2 mile race — behind the winner from Hungary.

Jon Urbanchek at the 2017 Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic.

Who has made an impact in your life like Jon Urbanchek made in the swimming world?

Where do ideas come from?

Posted on by
41

A flow chart my daughter made for me after she proofread an article I wrote for SwimSwam.

Shout out to Ally Bean of The Spectacled Bean for her post yesterday. It inspired me to write about where we get our blog ideas, plus reminded me of the flow chart above that I used in an article called “Does Your Child Want to Swim in College” for SwimSwam. Ally had a flow chart in her post called “Is it a penguin?”

I used to write a weekly sports parenting column for SwimSwam. I came up with an idea every week for five years from my personal experiences, parenting mistakes, plus observing other parents with their kids on the pool deck. I’d get ideas from coaches and interview Olympians and coaches. I even got emails from parents around the world asking me for advice, which started a Dear Abby-type column called “Ask Swim Mom.” I began swimming myself and would ask my coach for ideas while I was hanging onto the wall. I’d ask my daughter to read my columns before turning them in and she had great advice (like adding her flow chart).

Swimming is a sport that lasts 50 weeks a year with practice six days a week, with a couple two-a-day practices thrown in per week. You can imagine how obsessed and focused swimming families can become. My goal with my column was to let kids be kids and own their own sport. In other words, parents need to back off.

Now, that my kids have left the nest, I no longer have the desire to write about swimming or parenting. I began my blog writing financial advice for women. I realized within a few weeks that nobody wanted to read that. Then I moved on to swimming, parenting and things that were going on in my day-to-day life. I’m still writing about my daily life, but life has slowed down. Sometimes my posts are photos of birds from my Bird Buddy or sunrises and sunsets.

Where do you get your ideas for blogging?

How has your blog evolved through the years?

What’s in a name?

Posted on by
51

A pool overlooking the Gulf of California in Puerto Penasco.

What was I thinking when I named my blog “Bleuwater” back in 2014? Today, I’m wondering why did I come up with such a difficult, hard to spell name?

I blame it on Mom, may she rest in peace.

Her favorite color was blue. She was intense about her likes and usually dressed in navy blue. Everyone who knew her also knew blue was her color. Her favorite restaurant, where my mom and dad went for special occasions, was called the Bleu Dolphin, with the French spelling of blue.

She took me there a couple times for a cup of chowder and Dungeness crab cocktail. I was wildly impressed as a child by the restaurant, the food and the name. My mom thought the name was “highbrow.” Her world was defined by things and people she’d call highbrow or lowbrow.

When I started by blog, I was living in a world of water. Summers at the beach and six days a week at the pool as a swim mom. I was so involved with my kids’ swim team that I earned a polo shirt embroidered with the team logo and “Extreme Swim Parent.” I loved to wear that shirt to parent teacher meetings at my kids’ school. The look on the teacher’s face was well worth it!

There’s the story of the name of my blog. Nine years later, perhaps I’d like to change it, but I’ll hang onto “Bleuwater” in memory of Mom and my love of the ocean, lakes and pools.

If you’re a blogger what’s the story behind your blog’s name?

Back in the Swim

Posted on by
32

Palm Springs City Pool
Our old hometown pool at sunset.

On again, off again with swimming. Looking back through my old posts, I see I’ve been in this loop before. I try to be consistent with swimming, then something — mostly weather — gets me off track. This year it was called winter. Last two times I went lap swimming, I was cold the entire time. I felt it in my bones. Then I was up to Seattle and back home with COVID.

I wrote “Consistently Inconsistent” HERE. It’s one of many similar posts I’ve written since I began lap swimming and US Masters after my kids left for college. As a dedicated swim mom, I missed being around the pool and my swim friends. I dove in scared to death and learned to swim four strokes with my kids’ team, but at noon Master’s, which is for anyone over age 18.

My first practice, I was terrified and thought I’d sink halfway across the pool. I couldn’t breathe. I was about to have a panic attack when the coach assured me he wouldn’t let me drown. He gave me a drill called Six-Kick Switch. It evened my breathing, gave me something to focus on, helped my balance — and basically calmed me down. He told me to use that drill anytime in practice I needed. He also let me use fins, which is akin to training wheels. (You kick on your side, take a breath after six kicks while taking a stroke to switch sides and repeat.)

Later today, I’m back in the pool at the YMCA. I tried to go last week and as luck would have it, the pool was closed due to filter and pump issues. I’m feeling flutters in my stomach and a bit shaky. But I’ve got the tool of Six-Kick Switch. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What activities are you consistent with and which ones do you start and stop?

What to do about obnoxious sports parents

Posted on by
13
diving off the blocks
My daughter diving during at a swim meet where the swimmers were selected from So Cal teams.

As a swim parent, I saw my share of obnoxious swim parents. And I had my own moments of not being able to contain myself — although not to the point of punching a ref out — or yelling at a coach.

I saw so many parents taking over their kids’ sports, coaching from the stands, and yelling at their children when they had a less than awesome swim, that I wrote weekly articles with sports parenting tips. You can read them on SwimSwam Parent Tips on my blog or on SwimSwam HERE.

We hear about “those” parents in the news. Their videos of violence on the field or gym go viral.

I saw an article today that had the perfect solution. Duct tape.

Here’s an excerpt from the NY Post’s “The solution to obnoxious sports parents? Duct tape” by  Kyle Smith:

Last July, a woman on a flight from Dallas to Charlotte bit a flight attendant, then tried to open a door to the plane while screaming. Crisis was averted when she was duct-taped to her seat. 

An excellent start! Now let’s get out the duct tape for sports parents, who need to sit down, shut up and remember that Pee Wee football is not the Super Bowl. In Mississippi this month, an umpire presiding over a ballgame played by 12-year-olds was punched in the face and given a black eye by a woman wearing a Mother of the Year shirt who had been thrown out of the stands for cursing. “It gets harder and harder to staff these tournaments because no one wants to listen to the verbal abuse and run the risk of what happened to me happening to them,” the umpire, Kristie More, told WLBT. 

Like other forms of bad behavior (deaths in car crashes are way up), hyper-reactive-sports-parenting seems to have spiked during the pandemic, when tempers have been running as hot as Bidenflation. Even before that, anyone who was thinking about helping out the kids by signing up to be an umpire or a referee would have been smart to buy a Kevlar jacket and make sure his insurance was paid up. “There has been a huge drop off in the number of available referees and officials in youth sports due to the obnoxious behavior of parents,” Rick Wolff host of WFAN radio’s “The Sports Edge” told The Washington Post in 2020. 

https://nypost.com/2022/04/23/the-solution-to-obnoxious-sports-parents-duct-tape/

I highly suggest you read the article. It’s funny, but highlights what’s wrong with public discourse in today’s world.

What’s the most obnoxious thing you’ve seen parents do? What solutions do you have? Do you think things have gotten worse since the COVID shutdowns?

Thoughts about women’s athletics

Posted on by
13
women's swimming meet poster
My daughter featured on a women’s swimming meet poster for her University.

You’ve all heard about the controversy swirling around transgender Lia Thomas winning events at the Ivy League and NCAA championships.

First, as Kaitlyn Jenner said, Thomas isn’t breaking any rules — she followed NCAA stated rules. Jenner also said it’s not fair for someone who went through male puberty to compete against women. They are taller and stronger. They have bigger hearts, lungs, feet and hands. Those things don’t change with hormone suppression.

The swimmer who got bumped out of finals by one place (she was 17th and there are only 16 spots) wrote a letter to the NCAA. She’s supportive of Thomas but thinks the NCAA rules are not fair. I read she was banned from Twitter for expressing her opinion.

I know several women swimmers who competed against Thomas at the Ivy League champs and NCAAs. I watched them when they were young race against my daughter. The woman who got second place at the Ivy Leagues Champs to Lia Thomas in the 1,650 (the mile) used to race my daughter in So Cal. She was younger and would be in the lane next to my daughter, drafting at her hip. My daughter couldn’t shake her but would touch her out in the end and say “Who is that?!”

I feel for this young woman who lost the title of Ivy League Champion. I wonder how her parents feel?

Prior to 1972 and Title IX, there were few opportunities for women in college sports. Since then, we’ve taken women’s athletics for granted. Yet 50 years ago, most colleges didn’t have women’s sports.

I’ve interviewed swimming stars and coaches for my website socalswimhistory. One story is about Bonnie Adair, the Loyola Marymount head swim coach who as a swimmer held 35 National Age Group records. She talked about when she was college age and there weren’t many teams for women swimmers.

Her freshman year of college was pre-Title IX, and there were limited opportunities and college programs for women. She was training with Jim Montrella for the ’72 Olympic Trials and didn’t want to change up her training regime, so her freshman year she was a commuter at UC Irvine and lived at home with her parents. She said during those days she swam 11 practices a week and lifted weights. 

Looking back, she said it was unfair that the women stayed at home and didn’t get to experience college life.

“All of a sudden when school began, there would be all girls in our training group. The fast guys went off to swim at UCLA and USC. We were freshmen and sophomores in college, and we stayed with our club team to train. We lost that experience of being a freshman away at college.”

https://socalswimhistory.com/2017/02/03/bonnie-adair-held-35-national-age-group-records/

Prior to the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, women weren’t allowed to compete in the marathon.

When I was in high school, one of my friends and I joined the Boys Golf Team because there wasn’t a girls team. We went to practice every day, but we never once got to compete in a match. We were not the worst players, either.

My daughter and her friends who swam, put in years of hard work and sacrifice beginning at age five. They benefitted so much from swimming and being part of a team. I’m glad my daughter had that experience. I hope that other women get the same experience, too.

What are your thoughts on women’s sports? Did you know how limited the opportunities were 50 years ago? What are your experiences with women’s sports as a mom or competitor?

A vacation to recover from vacation?

Posted on by
15
Carpinteria State Beach, known as the world’s safest beach.

I am guilty of over planning vacations. I did this when I was first married and my husband and I would leave Palm Springs to return to my home state of Washington. I’d bring my Daytimer with me and schedule visits with friends and relatives — sometimes on the half hour.

Honestly, I’m not that bad anymore. But this year, after moving from our former home of 28 years in December 2020, we decided to stop for two days in Palm Springs. It’s on the way to the coast after all. We stayed with my dad, took him out to dinner and spent the next morning with him. My husband had meetings with his boss and met with others (they’re still working remotely). These were the first in-person encounters since March 2020. I visited with one of my former swim parents who remains a close friend. I got my hair done by my hairdresser who needs to move to Arizona. That’s a lot to pack into the “start to our vacation.”

Once at the coast, our VRBO was still 24 hours away. We stopped in with other dear friends that we haven’t seen in a year. We had dinner with them, spent the night and hung out until check-in time.

FINALLY — we made it into our VRBO and said “Whew! It’s time for vacation.” My husband set up his remote station and immediately the phone began to ring. It’s his “week off” which turned into days of driving, meetings and no down time. The rest of the time he’ll be working remotely.

I had scheduled an interview. It’s for a story I’m writing about a swim mom of a 14-year-old who is breaking Missy Franklin’s records. I figured if my husband is working, I can squeeze a little work in, too.

Then I got an invitation to a luncheon tomorrow. My friend said I have to go because it’s in a historical landmark and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. I told her I can’t go because although I packed a few sundresses, I only brought a pair of flip flops and running shoes. She told me either one is fine. I begged to differ for a fancy ladies’ luncheon. She told me to check out the two boutiques in Summerland, which are two blocks from our VRBO.

I told her they wouldn’t have my size. I have very big feet for a 5’4″ frame. Guess what? I found two pairs of sandals that fit. They are a bit dressier than my beach flip flops, but probably not dressy enough. I’ll be gone from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. tomorrow. We have dinner scheduled with friends tonight and over the weekend.

When is it truly vacation? What is vacation? I’m ready for the beach and a good book. I’ve brought a stack of them. If I keep up at this rate, I’ll need a vacation from my vacation. Maybe after a year of mostly solitude, being with friends and family is the vacation?

How do you vacation? Do you over schedule? Or are you able to check out and relax?