Tag Archives: Olympics

The Olympics Made Me Miss Being a Swim Mom

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I wrote this post in 2015 when my daughter was swimming in college. Watching the Olympics and having a connection to a few of the swimmers made me miss my swim mom days.

My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC.
My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC. She’s the one with pointed toes.

We went to my daughter’s first college dual meet of the season this weekend. I loved every minute of the meet, but even more, spending time with her. She invited several swim teammates out to dinner. It felt like the sprinkle of rain after a long drought—listening to them laugh and talk about their meet and practices.

I didn’t realize how much I miss the little daily things about being an age-group swim mom.

I miss the kids hanging out. So many personalities, so many different families, all bound together by one common goal. Swimming.

My son and swim team friends.
My son and swim team friends. He’s in front.

I have a fierce loyalty to our team and the couple times when factions of parents split off to form their own teams, I was shocked and hurt. It felt like losing members of my immediate family. I’d always wonder why? I never thought we had a bad experience—maybe at times less than perfect—but I guess that’s part of the reason I didn’t understand.

Good times were sitting together in the stands cheering for all our kids. Getting the new team t-shirts, sipping Starbucks on a chilly winter morning under the pop-up tents. Chatting and laughing with parents while we waited to see what the day’s meet would bring. I loved working with our parents and officials under the admin tent, in awards, or in the snack bar at our home meets.

The team cheer at an away meet.
The team cheer at an away meet.

I loved having kids over to the house to hang out between morning and afternoon practices during long hot summer days. I loved cooking eggs, bacon and sausage in bulk for a pack of hungry swimmers. I was amazed at how much they could eat as a group. I loved having the team over for painting t-shirts for a big meet.

Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.
Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.

I loved listening to the kids laughing about silly things that happened in practice and the goofy songs they played and sang to like “Funkytown”  and the “Numa Numa Song.”

Most of all, l I loved seeing my kids smiling, laughing and enjoying their friendships. Throughout the years, my kids were surrounded by amazing kids, families and coaches. Just being in the background was a joy.

I miss those days.

Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.

What do you miss about earlier years in your life?

Tribute to a Legend: Coach Jon Urbanchek

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Jon Urbanchek

Jon Urbanchek, Coach of University of Michigan, USC and US Olympic Team

RIP, Coach Urbanchek. He died May 9, 2024 at age 87.

“I’m not looking at how many fast times you have, or how many medals you’ve won, medals will tarnish, right? I’m looking at how many friendships you made.” -Coach Jon Urbanchek

When I was gathering stories for the SoCalSwimming History website, a swim official gave me Jon Urbanchek’s number to call. The year was 2017 and he was 80 years old. He told me how he was coaching part time at USC. I was amazed at his energy and how enthusiastic and friendly he was.

From my interview with Coach Urbanchek:

“I’m going to be 81 this year, and I still love the sport. I still volunteer coach at USC Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday because I love being with young people. I love the energy they put out. I think at my age it’s important to be active. I leave the house at 5 a.m. to get there at 6 a.m. driving through LA traffic. I’m officially retired but I’m very happy to be a part of the program. Even this year, I did the training camp for the national team. I’m still involved with the national team and USC. I want to continue on.”

I loved talking to him and learning his life story from leaving Communist Hungary, studying at University of Michigan to his decades-long career coaching.

He was a US Olympic coach on staff for ’92, ’96, ’00, ’04, ’08 and ’12. He was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame, Long Beach State Hall of Fame and University of Michigan Hall of Fame. 

There was an outpouring of love for him this week from the swimming community:

“It is hard to express how much Jon Urbanchek has meant to me since I first met him in 2012. He was my coach on the 2012 Olympic team and he has been a coach, a mentor and a friend since then. I learned so much from him. He was a kind and dedicated coach who never forgot his swimmers. I will never forget his dedication to our sport, his humor, his coaching style and his love for Team U.S.A. He was a coach of coaches. I know that all of my coaches learned something from him. I am so lucky to have had him as a part of my team….he never stopped coaching and encouraging me.”
— Katie Ledecky, three-time Olympian, seven-time Olympic gold medalist, 21-time world champion, and holder of three world records

“I can still hear him saying “keep it moving” “ey , _____ MOVE IT!”…. Thinking about what he taught me in and out of the pool… one of the most influential ppl I’ve had in my life…this man is a legend and truly one of one!

RIP buddy…. ❤️❤️ “
–Michael Phelps, legendary American swimmer who won 28 medals across five Olympics, making him the most decorated athlete in the history of the Summer Games.

“Undeniably among the legendary coaches of our time. Better was his inclusion of all of us on our way up. Fast friend to anyone who crossed his path. If you met him you were undoubtedly added to his contact list along with a selfie together. All of us in swimming owe his wife Melanie and daughter a debt of gratitude for sharing him with us.”
— Dave Salo, former U.S.A. National Team Coach and head coach at USC

“Jon Urbanchek was the Yoda to world swimming. Add on the sense of humor and occasionally needed warm hug. His wisdom grew and spread over the decades and his legacy will continue to influence future generations.  We will miss his presence and carry on his spirit. ‘Go Blue! Keep it movin!’” — Mike Bottom, former University of Michigan swimming and diving head coach (2008-23)

After my phone interview with Coach Urbanchek, I would run into him at swim meets.
I remember talking with him at Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic, Calif. I was there to cheer on our daughter.

He was coaching Haley Anderson, who swam the 10k in the 2012, 2016 and 2020 Olympics. We became friends with the Anderson family, because Haley’s younger sister, Jordan, swam with our daughter at the University of Utah. Haley and her sister Alyssa made the US Olympic team in London. Alyssa earned a gold medal for the 4 X 200 free relay, while Haley earned Silver, finishing 4/10s of a second — in the 6.2 mile race — behind the winner from Hungary.

Jon Urbanchek at the 2017 Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic.

Who has made an impact in your life like Jon Urbanchek made in the swimming world?

“Everything I’ve Gone Through Has Made Me Who I Am Today” —Michael Phelps

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I sat with my Piranha Swim Team fellow swim moms and Masters swimmers at a fundraiser where Michael Phelps was the keynote speaker.

He had some really good stuff to say and seems incredibly happy with his life. As he said about his comeback from retirement and Rio Olympics, “I got to show the world who I am.”

He said he wouldn’t trade anything in his life because even the struggles have made him who he is today. What an amazing person he is and has become. Not only was he speaking at the Barbara Sinatra Center for Abused Children, he spent time with our local Piranha swimmers and other high school swimmers before the event. How special will that memory be for those kids? It will definitely be a day they’ll remember forever.

 

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Alex Flanagan interviews Michael Phelps. Photo from Steven Erickson, Piranha Masters swimmer.

Sitting for an interview with NBC’s Alex Flanagan, Michael was relaxed and comfortable. Accompanying him were his wife and baby Boomer, who could be heard crying occasionally in the background.

Phelps said all his many accomplishments and discipline were “all in my heart.” He said, “I started with a goal and a dream. I wanted to do something. I wanted to become the first Michael Phelps, not the second Mark Spitz.”

When he talked about his darker days and struggles with depression, Phelps explained that he “said affirmations every time he walked through a doorway.” He said, “If you keep track of how many times you walk through doors in a day, it’s a lot.”

He said it’s important to “not be afraid to ask for help and talk about things. You can’t do everything yourself.”

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A lot of his strength, he attributes to his mom Debbie Phelps, who he called “the most powerful mom. She single-handedly raised us. Growing up, I learned about hard work and dedication from her.”

Abut his coach Bob Bowman, “He has been there all the steps of the way. He taught me how to drive. The two of us get along so well. We’ve been together for 20 years.”

On his return to swimming for Olympic Trials and Rio, Phelps recalled that he called Bowman to tell him he wanted to come back. Bowman was skeptical and said it wasn’t going to happen. Phelps waited and called him back the next day, and Bowman agreed so long as he bought into his program and did it completely his way. It worked out well.

With his parents separating when he was young, Phelps found the pool to be an escape. His coach told him to “leave everything at the door and focus on swimming for the time he was there,” whether it was one and half hours or two. “That stuck with me. If you look at anyone great, they find the time to do their best under any circumstance.”

Phelps is enjoying his time as a husband and father and looks forward to a growing family. He’s focused on his brand MP and his foundation that is saving children’s lives through water safety.

Although Phelps Olympic career is over, as the most decorated Olympian in history with 28 medals and 39 world records, he said “The pool is very relaxing for me. It’s very Zen.”

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Our local USA Swimming and high school swimmers meeting Michel Phelps.                      photo from Piranha Swim Team 

 

 

 

Things Your Daughter Will Be Surprised to Learn about High School and College Sports

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My daughter diving in a competition with her club team at the East LA City College pool.

My daughter diving in a competition with her club team at the East LA City College pool.

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar or You’ve Come a Long Way Baby, Part II

Isn’t it strange that women swimmers a few decades ago ended their swim careers in their teens, while it’s not uncommon to have women compete in their 20s and 30s today?

I was talking to Bonnie Adair — a former swimmer who held 35 National Age Group records during her career — including the 50-meter free for 8-and-unders that stood for 29 years. She quit swimming at age 19. Contrast that to say Olympian gold medalists Dara Torres, who swam in her fifth Olympics at age 41, Natalie Coughlin, still competing at 32, or Janet Evans who swam in the 2012 Olympic Trials at age 40.

Dara Torres

Dara Torres

 

Janet Evans

Janet Evans


What has changed so much in swimming since the 1970s that gives women the ability to still compete throughout their 20s and beyond?

Natalie Coughlin

Natalie Coughlin

I interviewed Bonnie Adair, the head coach of Loyola Marymount in LA, for another writing project I’m undertaking. She began swimming at age five and was an amazing and gifted swimmer. She said after she graduated high school she wanted to train for her third Olympic Trials. She lived at home with mom and dad and commuted to college — so she could still swim with her club team, Lakewood Aquatics coached by the legendary Jim Montrella.

images-6She noticed one day that there were no guys in her training group. They had all gone to swim on scholarship at colleges such as UCLA and USC. The girls did not. Why not, you ask? Because they didn’t have college swim teams for women! 

images-7Isn’t that stunning? My daughter, age 18, is swimming right now — this very minute — at a D1, PAC 12 school (Go Utes!). It was always her dream — since she was five years old — to swim in college and go to the Olympic Trials. She took it for granted that she had the opportunity, and that if she worked really hard, she could possibly achieve those dreams. She’s made the college dream come true and she has a couple seconds to drop for Olympic Trials 2016.

I was shocked and stunned to realize that these dreams were not remotely possible for women just a few years older than me! Their swim careers were cut short if they wanted to have a college experience where they lived on campus and were away from home. It was difficult or nearly impossible to keep competing with a club team for many years past high school.

images-5When I was in high school, we had no pool or high school swim team, boys or girls. I remember we had girls track and field and tennis. Cheerleading was the big thing for girls to do. Cheer tryouts was one of the horrors of my teen life, a total embarrassment that makes me cringe remembering being put on exhibition in front of the entire student body.

We didn’t have girls basketball or golf and I played golf. Since I didn’t make the cheerleading squad, I tried out for the boys golf team with my lifelong friend and fellow golfer Christy.  We were allowed to go to all the practices with the guys. We were the last group out on the course  — a twosome.  We were never included in any of the tournaments or competitions. I honestly don’t know if we were that much worse than the boys — or if it was because we were girls.

I wrote about how far along we’ve come from the time my parents told me I was going to college to get my MRS degree and when girls were required to take home ec in high school in “I Am Woman Hear Me Roar, or You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!” Our young women take all of this for granted. They are truly lucky and blessed to be alive today in the United States.

Of course, the main reason there are women’s collegiate sports today and weren’t say before 1972 can be summed up as Title IX — which has its benefits and its unintended consequences. This will be discussed on another day.

bathing_beautiesWhat high school and college sports did you participate in? Were there girls teams for all the boys sports?