“Everything I’ve Gone Through Has Made Me Who I Am Today” —Michael Phelps

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I sat with my Piranha Swim Team fellow swim moms and Masters swimmers at a fundraiser where Michael Phelps was the keynote speaker.

He had some really good stuff to say and seems incredibly happy with his life. As he said about his comeback from retirement and Rio Olympics, “I got to show the world who I am.”

He said he wouldn’t trade anything in his life because even the struggles have made him who he is today. What an amazing person he is and has become. Not only was he speaking at the Barbara Sinatra Center for Abused Children, he spent time with our local Piranha swimmers and other high school swimmers before the event. How special will that memory be for those kids? It will definitely be a day they’ll remember forever.

 

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Alex Flanagan interviews Michael Phelps. Photo from Steven Erickson, Piranha Masters swimmer.

Sitting for an interview with NBC’s Alex Flanagan, Michael was relaxed and comfortable. Accompanying him were his wife and baby Boomer, who could be heard crying occasionally in the background.

Phelps said all his many accomplishments and discipline were “all in my heart.” He said, “I started with a goal and a dream. I wanted to do something. I wanted to become the first Michael Phelps, not the second Mark Spitz.”

When he talked about his darker days and struggles with depression, Phelps explained that he “said affirmations every time he walked through a doorway.” He said, “If you keep track of how many times you walk through doors in a day, it’s a lot.”

He said it’s important to “not be afraid to ask for help and talk about things. You can’t do everything yourself.”

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A lot of his strength, he attributes to his mom Debbie Phelps, who he called “the most powerful mom. She single-handedly raised us. Growing up, I learned about hard work and dedication from her.”

Abut his coach Bob Bowman, “He has been there all the steps of the way. He taught me how to drive. The two of us get along so well. We’ve been together for 20 years.”

On his return to swimming for Olympic Trials and Rio, Phelps recalled that he called Bowman to tell him he wanted to come back. Bowman was skeptical and said it wasn’t going to happen. Phelps waited and called him back the next day, and Bowman agreed so long as he bought into his program and did it completely his way. It worked out well.

With his parents separating when he was young, Phelps found the pool to be an escape. His coach told him to “leave everything at the door and focus on swimming for the time he was there,” whether it was one and half hours or two. “That stuck with me. If you look at anyone great, they find the time to do their best under any circumstance.”

Phelps is enjoying his time as a husband and father and looks forward to a growing family. He’s focused on his brand MP and his foundation that is saving children’s lives through water safety.

Although Phelps Olympic career is over, as the most decorated Olympian in history with 28 medals and 39 world records, he said “The pool is very relaxing for me. It’s very Zen.”

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Our local USA Swimming and high school swimmers meeting Michel Phelps.                      photo from Piranha Swim Team 

 

 

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How Does Belief Translate Into Results?

 

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Palm Springs Aquatic Center, home of the Piranha Swim Team.

A friend of mine talked about a desire to get faster in swimming. I want to improve, too, although we’re at different levels. We’ve been friends since our college-aged daughters were in kindergarten together. We’ve been through all phases of parenting together—from academic, swim parenting through volunteering with our daughters in NCL. Now we’re sharing the experience of Masters swimming with the Piranha Swim Team.

Honestly, I’m one of the slowest swimmers in our Masters group. My friend, Linda, is much stronger and faster. Her goal is a “national time.” She knows what time she needs, how much time she has to drop—and she’s talked to our coach Jeff Conwell about what she needs to do.

We both swim three times per week. She was told by our coach that she needs to swim five days a week to make her goal. My goal is skill specific. I want to be able to flip turn rather than stop at each wall and take a big breath. I realized I needed to do this after my last meet and I tried “flip-turning” two days before the meet. That was a big mistake. If I plan to swim in a meet, I cannot hit my head on the bottom of the pool during a race, nor should I get water up my nose. Without practicing flip turns consistently, those two scenarios are more than likely!

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At my first meet with my good friend, Linda.

I was talking to a former coach of my kids, Tim Hill from the Sharks Swim Team in TX, and he sent me several links to an incredible website that’s useful for parents and kids about sports training and life in general called Train Ugly.

This link from that website really struck a chord with Linda and me and our goal setting.

It comes down to this. We need to start with the belief that we can improve and reach our goals. That will come down to action, such as Linda going to more practices weekly, and me adding flip turns in my workouts, plus working with the coach to improve my turns. The action will eventually turn into results.

That sounds simple, correct? It looks like a foolproof plan for success.

BELIEF — ACTION — RESULTS

The catch is in our beliefs. We’ve talked about the little voice in our heads that in her case says, “That’s way too much time to drop. I can’t do it.” My voice says, “Why do I even care? What difference does it make if I swim open turns or flip turns?” We both have self-defeating words bouncing through our brains.

Linda said, “We get comfortable with where we’re at. We get to a certain number of yards and if we don’t push to improve we really stop growing.”

That’s one reason why I want to improve. I look back at when I started Masters a year and a half ago and I have improved a lot! Yes, I’m proud of that but it would be easy to stay stagnant where I am now. After the swim meet and struggling with flip turns, I thought, “Whew! I’m done with those. I don’t need to bother anymore with being uncomfortable and getting water up my nose.” But, then I went to practice and thought, why would I give up on a skill I’m learning?

According to the Train Ugly website, it’s a difference in our mindsets. Do we have a fixed mindset or an open mindset?

“People with a growth mindset believe that they are in control of their abilities, that they can learn, grow, and improve their skills. With this belief, they’re more likely to put in the action (working hard, taking feedback, overcoming challenges – all the stuff that helps them get good at things). Action leads to results and the results confirm the belief – the cycle continues upward. This is WHY people with a growth mindset learn, grow, and achieve more over time.

People with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities, intelligence, skills are set. This makes them less likely to put in the action (do any of the work that actually helps them improve). When they don’t put in the work, they don’t get the results. This confirms their beliefs and the cycle spirals downward.”–TrainUgly.com

You can replace our swimming experience with any aspect of your life, from parenting, relationships to any activity such as swimming. Ask yourself, is the little voice in your head helping you improve? Or, has it already decided you don’t need to try, or you’re not worthy?

I’m going for getting out of my box and continuing to grow. I have goals in many areas of my life and I’m going for it. How about you?

 

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That’s me going off the blocks…

 

Round Two: Why Parents Need to Compete, Too

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Our beautiful Palm Springs pool.

This past weekend, I was at my second swim meet where I was the swimmer. I made the plunge once before—a year ago at the Palm Springs Piranhas hosted meet. I worried all week as the date of the meet approached. What had I done to myself? Why did I sign up for the meet?

Here is a partial list of things I worried and stressed about:

ONE

Standing on the blocks. It’s scary up there.

TWO

Diving off the blocks. I was afraid my goggles would fall off and I’d lose my contacts.

THREE

Doing a flip turn. In practice, I stick with slow open turns. While practicing flip turns the day before the meet, I got water up my nose and hit my head on the bottom of the pool.

FOUR

Breathing. I worried that halfway through my 50 free I’d start to panic and revert to breath-holding.16387450_10155016389794612_6785187209915237532_n

Then, I realized that last year I couldn’t get out of the pool and I had to swim to the ladder. This year, I didn’t have to worry about that. I can now get out of the deep end. That thought made me realize all the things that I had done to prepare for the meet and what was under my control:

ONE

I had gone to practice consistently for an entire year.

TWO

I had improved my diet to make sure I was properly fueled.

THREE

I stayed hydrated.

FOUR

I worked on dives and flip turns with Coach Jeff and felt more confident.

FIVE

I started a stretching regime that included warming up my shoulders.

SIX

I was one year stronger and better at swimming than at my first meet.

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Here I am with a few of my Piranha Masters friends.

 

I was mentally prepared. I was physically ready. I know I’ve made huge progress. Maybe at the next meet, I won’t get so worked up.

My only regret is that I didn’t start swimming when my kids were young. I’ve learned so much from swimming masters about how hard they work, how great their technique is and how hard it is to swim fast. I took it all for granted. I would have had a different perspective on swim meets and practice if only I had begun swimming years ago. I would have shared this bit of wisdom my favorite ref, Paul, told me at the meet, “Relax and have fun. It’s only a swim meet!”

Why do you think swim parents should compete? What makes you nervous before swim meets?

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Me and Linda. Two swim moms and swimmers.

P.S. One of my most favorite things this weekend was to see and talk with three “kids” who swam with my children on Piranhas at my Masters meet. They are all grown-up and continuing with the sport they love.

Photos courtesy of Piranha Swim Team.

 

You Have Two Choices: Quit or Keep Trying…

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My kids learned perseverance and to never give up from swimming.

I got an unfortunate email yesterday. It was from an agent, who was reviewing my mid-grade novel I’ve been working on for years. Long story short, it was a no.

This is a big goal of mine, to get this book published. Finding an agent is one step along the way, and I had glimmers of hope when a couple agents were truly interested and one in particular, wanted eight weeks to take a deep dive.

When my husband consoled me I said, “I have two choices. I can quit or keep going.”

Four times since that email, I ran into messages like someone was placing a big neon sign in front of me with specific directions.

One  

Dad shared that he spent almost three hours fishing yesterday. He was ready to give up, but decided to cast one more time in the last few minutes before he was due to return the boat. Yes, he caught a fish!13726609_10210408420550641_3524328241513157479_n

Two

I was looking at FB and a writer friend posted how lucky she was to find several four-leaf clovers yesterday after hours of looking. She said to never give up. Never!

Three

On Twitter, I saw from bestselling author Brad Thor a book recommendation for #Grit, a book about passion and perseverance. Yes, I’ll order it from Amazon today.

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Four

On SwimSwam.com, an article jumped before my eyes: “6 TIPS TO KEEP YOU CHASING YOUR SWIMMING GOALS WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP,” by Olivier Poirier-Leroy, who writes really good stuff for swimmers, that can be used in all aspects of life.

Here was part of his advice to get in touch with your feelings when you started on the journey:

“What are the reasons that I want to achieve this goal? List 2-3 reasons for why this goal is important to you. This is the simplest way to get in touch with your original set of motivations.

How will you feel when you push past the resistance you are feeling now? Think back to the last time you kicked down the wall of resistance that was in front of you. Yeah, that time. How did you feel afterwards? Proud? Like a certified O.G.?

Will you regret giving up a year from now? Imagine yourself a year from now. A year smarter, a year older, and hopefully a year further along. Is “Future You” going to be pumped about you having quit today?”

I got the message loud and clear. I’m not giving up on my goals or dreams. This is all part of the process, and yes there will be some ups and downs. It’s so cliched, but it’s also true.

In  masters swimming we have a new slogan and shirts. After a hard set that I was convinced I couldn’t finish, I blurted, “Hey, it’s not that bad!”

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Showing off new shirts at Piranha Swim Team’s Masters. “Hey, it’s not that bad.”

 

Yes, getting a rejection letter is not great, but how much better is it than quitting on a dream? Honestly, it’s not that bad.

How do you handle disappointment?

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back or Swimming Teaches Life Lessons

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This morning after the lanes were changed from LC to SC.

I realized something this morning during my Masters workout. I really, really like long course.

The irony is it’s the final week of long course training. I swam my first LC practice of the year Wednesday! I wish I would have begun months ago. Since there’s plenty of time to think and reflect with my face in the water, I realized it was fear that kept me from going to LC practice earlier this year.

What else is fear holding me back from doing?

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Masters practice 100 x 1oo’s on New Year’s Eve.

It’s almost humorous because I write about life lessons my kids have gained from years of swimming—and here at my age I’m learning life lessons, too. I began swimming US Masters a year ago, April. I was terrified and wrote about my first day here. Swimming was my New Year’s Resolution, yet it took me four months to get started.

This past year, I swam in my first meet, learned to flip turn and dive off the blocks. Swimming has taught me to try new things, and don’t wait—or the opportunity will be gone. How to apply these lessons in the rest of my life is key.

Another life lesson is to be consistent. It’s very hard and counter productive to start and stop, start and stop. It’s truly the “Tortoise and the Hair” approach that works in all we do. Slow and steady is much better than a sprinter who quits halfway through this race called life.

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At my first meet with my good friend, Linda.

Whatever you want to do, whatever your dream may be—is there something holding you back? Is it fear? If so, what are you afraid of? My fear of LC was that I wouldn’t make it to the other end of the pool, or I’d have to quit before the workout was done.

It turned out that LC is easier for me, I get a nice rhythm going, I’m more relaxed and confident swimming LC than short course. Who knew?

Have you overcome fears in your life? What were they and what did you do?

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What I Would Do Differently

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My young Piranhas.

If I could go back in time, say 15 or so years, I’d do things differently as a parent and a swim mom. I’ve loved every minute of being a swim parent and truly believe that signing my kids up for our local club, the Piranha Swim Team, was the single best thing we’ve done for them. Sticking with the team through ups and downs was a plus, too. Not only did my kids become crazily physically fit and skilled swimmers, they learned to never give up through tough times—whether it was an illness, a plateau or learning what a new coach expects.

So what would I do differently? Here’s my list:

One
Not focus on performance.

Sometimes, I get way too caught up in big meets and best times. I wish I could kick back, relax and enjoy the little moments more.

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Medals at a meet.

Two
Not get involved in parent drama.

Like most sports today, where you find a bunch of enthusiastic and involved parents, there’s bound to be some drama. If I could do it over, I’d never take sides or get involved. At times, I didn’t have a choice because of being on the board. But, the drama and problems we lived through don’t amount to beans, anymore.

Three
Realize everybody is different.

Not every swimmer has the same drive or goals. Not every family is going to focus their lives around the pool. It’s okay for some kids to skip practice and have other interests besides school and swimming. I’d be less judgmental if I got a do over!

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Signing day.

Four
Not compare my kids to others.

When my kids were young and new to swimming, it was common for us to compare their progress to other swimmers. That led to upset feelings all around. Looking back on it, things that seemed so big at the moment, were only a fleeting moment in time.

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My son learning to dive with the swim team.

Five
Enjoy every moment of the process.

The years go by so quickly. The friends made with other parents, coaches and officials are ones to treasure. Enjoy it all.

What would you do differently as a swim parent?

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Back when my daughter liked her green fuzzy robe better than the team parka.

5 Tips to Beat the Summer Heat in Palm Springs

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A view from my morning walk.

It’s been a hot week and the “but it’s a dry heat” comment doesn’t cut it when the thermometer hits 122 degrees. I’m tired of breathing hot air and it’s been less than one week of extreme heat. I miss the days of hanging out at the beach with the kids. Those were the days!

Exercise is important. You have to get moving every day or you’ll go nuts. I think it must be similar to living in a wintry, snowy place during winter and experiencing cabin fever.

Here are my tips for keeping cool:

Get up early.
I moved my morning walk up by an hour and a half. It’s still hot, but bearable.

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Palm Springs pool.

Swim.
The Palm Springs pool is a cool place to be. Masters with Piranha Swim Team ensures that I get my workout in and I feel great afterwards! There’re workouts offered six days a week at a couple different times, so no excuses!

Tram Pass.
The Palm Springs Aerial Tramway offers a summer pass for only $75 May through Labor Day. We go several times a week to enjoy a fresh, cool breeze. On Sunday morning at 8 a.m. it was 68 degrees, while it was 100 at home. Elevation 8,500 plus with more than 50 miles of trails. 

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PS Tramway — 50 miles of hiking in cool weather.

Movies.
There’s nothing better than sitting in a dark, air-conditioned theater in the afternoon to beat the summer heat. We’re fortunate to have the Regal Palm Springs Stadium for the first-run films and the Camelot Theatres for indie movies.

Backyard Pool.
We float and kick in the pool every evening until we’re water-logged. IMG_2176 (1)

How do you stay cool during the summer heat?