Tag Archives: anxiety

Five Years Ago

Posted on by
49
Cactus Arizona sunset
Sunset in the neighborhood.

Five years ago this week we moved from sunny Palm Springs, California to sunny Arizona!

I wrote several posts about leaving my home of 28 years. It was stressful, sad, yet exciting. We had some snafus along the way. The movers didn’t bring a large enough moving van for all our stuff. They had to rent a U Haul. With everyone leaving California, they couldn’t find one close by. They had to rent one from San Diego.

We arrived in our new home without our stuff. (But we had a sedated Olive kitty, who was not a good traveler.) Fortunately, we had purchased the furniture in the casita from the prior owners, so we had a place to sleep! And I smartly packed bedding in one of our cars, plus overnight bags with changes of clothing.

Our stuff eventually caught up with us.

Here’s one of the posts from five years ago:

Moving On To Excitement

The past month, I’ve been all over the place emotionally. I’ve been through shock, disbelief, sadness, regret and anxiety. But I woke up today and I’ve moved on. I’m feeling the anticipation of a new adventure. I haven’t moved since 1992 and I’m excited for a new experience.

I don’t know what happened to change my point of view. It may be that the escrows are going well and it looks like all will close this week on both ends of the move. So that takes a chunk out of the anxiety. We worked really hard the past two weeks, packing, throwing stuff out and making daily trips to Angel View Thrift Store — and the end is in sight.

I wish my daughter would come and help us move. But with the state in a new COVID shut down until after Christmas, she viewed the flight home and driving one of our cars to Arizona for us as not “essential.” Of course, I viewed that differently. But I do understand. She doesn’t want to get us old folks sick. She doesn’t want to get her brother and significant other sick, either.

We were surprised by one of our dear Piranha Swim Team family friends who offered to help us out. They volunteered to drive one of our cars. We didn’t even have to ask. That makes me appreciate the life we’ve had here, the friendships that are so true and valuable.

We’ve been blessed and I am ready to move on, knowing those friendships will continue.

fountain with plants
Our Palm Springs yard all prettied up for sale.

What moves have you made? Did you experience mixed emotions?

What were you doing five years ago?

Black Friday

Posted on by
66

A beautiful poppa quail in a tree.

Now that the Thanksgiving Feasts are over, we turn the page to Black Friday. Why is the Friday after Thanksgiving called Black Friday? It’s a term from the 1960s coined by police in Philadelphia according to my searches on the internet. They used Black Friday to describe the increase in heavy traffic due to shopping. It also is the day that red ink turned black for stores thanks to shoppers.

I have found this week to be one of the most stressful thanks to my dad being admitted to the hospital last Friday. He’s a “Surviving Sue” person in my life, as a comparison to Dr. Vicki Atkinson’s book of the same title. You can read more about Dr. Vicki and her book on the blog Victoria Ponders.

I am the person in charge of talking to doctors, nurses, family members, selecting a skilled nursing facility, looking for assisted living, selling my dad’s house. Fortunately, by Thanksgiving, he was coherent, moved from the hospital to skilled nursing and is doing better.

We had one snafu. Years ago my dad and I went to his bank to put me on his account so bills could be paid in case he was in the hospital, unconscious, etc. I went into the bank in person with my notebook with his trust, will, power of attorney documents and learned that I was not on his account. I was added as a successor trustee, which means I can pay his bills after he dies. The bank didn’t accept the power of attorney documents and wants them to be redone.

All I can say is from my broken ankle and surgery, my kids’ two surgeries and now my dad, I’m ready to turn the page on 2025!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

What Black Friday deals are you looking for?

Are you ready for the holidays or wishing for a new year altogether?

Fear of Vacation

Posted on by
52
A beach walk near Santa Barbara

I used to look forward to our beach vacation every year. Until this year, that is.

I literally lived for beach time. Especially when the kids were young and we’d go to Laguna Beach for two months — or even the entire summer. Living in the desert, I’d need to get out of the heat. The kids would have swim lessons at the city pool and we’d head to the beach for the rest of the day. They’d have hours of free play, using their imaginations building drip castles or building a restaurant and serving me assorted dishes made from sand and seaweed.

brother and sister playing at the beach
My kids when they used their imaginations to play in the sand.

Now that it’s almost beach vacation time, albeit much shorter than the vacations in the past, I’m apprehensive. Why? Because I have been on two trips the past few months. And they didn’t go well.

First, we explored the mountains and forests of Arizona. I tripped on our first hike. I thought I had a sprain, but I broke my ankle. Within a week of coming home, I was rushed into surgery. That put a damper on my summer.

Next, we flew to a friend’s daughter’s wedding in Northern California. We came home and got terribly sick with COVID.

Needless to say, I worry about what’s going to happen on our upcoming vacation. Shark attack? Car accident? Food poisoning? My imagination is going wild. This morning I asked my husband, “What’s wrong with staying home? I like it here.” After all, there’s no place like home.

Two summer vacations ago, we were worried about our Daughter-In-Law’s cancer. I was so worried about her tests, surgery, etc. It puts a harsh reality on our summer vacation — that everything is not beach mode and real life worries take hold — regardless of vacation or not.

FYI, If you think it’s a good time to break into our home, think twice. I have two neighbors watching out, plus a house sitter. Good luck!

I’m sure once I get to our destination, everything will be okay. At least I hope so.

Where is your favorite location for vacation?

Panic attack

Posted on by
45

This owl hung out in our tree for a week.

I had a panic attack last week. It was while driving home from the eye doctor with my husband. He had his eyes dilated so I was the driver. It’s a road I take several times a week. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But then I turned left too soon and found myself in a construction zone with cars rushing around me. I struggled to get back on the road and my husband told me when to go. I couldn’t see. It was a blind rush back into traffic.

After that, I tried to calm my breathing. My hands were shaking and sweaty. I don’t like the drivers in Arizona. They are way worse than California drivers. I ended up pulling off into a parking lot and taking a moment to collect myself.

When I tried driving, I panicked again. I haven’t had a panic attack in at least five or six years. I only have them while driving. I felt so bad about myself. My husband, thankfully, was very supportive and told me I was doing a great job. But I still had a low opinion of myself.

Then I saw an article on well-being called, “How to Calm an Anxious Mind” by Gregory Jantz, Ph.D., founder and director of the mental health clinic The Center: A Place of Hope in Edmonds, Wash.

He gave a list of strategies to regain peace:

Intentionally limit information intake

Choose to be thankful

Go against the frantic flow

Stop procrastinating

Set aside time for stillness and silence

Make a small change to alleviate big stress

Steer clear of negative people

Take a nap

Unplug for awhile

Write in a journal or notebook

Retrain your brain with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Stay connected to friends and family

Maintain activities that replenish you

Express yourself creatively

I like this list and there are a few areas I excel at and other I need to work on.

Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks?

From the list, what can you improve on?

Stress Dreams

Posted on by
40

Sunset view from our neighborhood.

The other night, I dreamt I was at a golf course. There were tons of people I knew from my children’s elementary school. The clubhouse and first tee were packed. I was playing in a charity golf tournament.

I was so excited when I found out who I was paired with. JACK NICKLAUS! WooHoo. We were sure to win. I glanced around at the parents from my kids’ school with a smug look on my face. They looked back at me with shocked expressions.

When I grabbed my brand new driver, the grip was missing. The club was a foot too short and there was no way to hold onto it. There was a line into the pro shop, so I couldn’t get it fixed.

Jack and I waited for our tee time for three hours. Finally, Jack said, “I’m out of here.” FYI, he was really a kind guy and I had fun talking with him 😊

I tried to convince him to stay, but no luck. Then I woke up.

I told my husband about my dream and he said, “That’s a stress dream.”

It it was, it sure was a weird one. I have more common stress dreams. One dream is I signed up for a class in high school or college and forgot about it until finals. I have to take the test without ever going to class or studying.

Other dreams are I’m at a beach up on a hill and a giant wave crashes down on me. Or, I’m being chased by bad guys.

From PsychCentral:

What are stress dreams?

Stress dreams are distressingTrusted Source or anxiety-provoking dreams or nightmares that occur during your REM cycle, which is the stage of sleep when scientists think most dreaming occurs. They can be particularly vivid or recurrent.

While everyone’s dreams can be different, there are a few common types of stress dreams.

“Stress dreams happen to everyone, and, while they can be troubling, they’re not unusual,” explains Dr. Cynthia Briggs, a licensed clinical mental health counselor from Maryland.

What causes stress dreams?

Well, as the name implies, psychological stress is often behind this kind of dream.

After all, stress dreams are particularly common when you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or under pressure during your day-to-day life.

“Our brains are deeply imaginative and creative, and stress dreams are one way our minds process worries overnight,” she continues. “They are the leftover odds and ends we haven’t quite resolved during the daytime.”

Do you experience stress dreams?

Do you have recurring stress dreams? What are they?

Being in the moment

Posted on by
45

This cardinal paid a visit to my Birdbuddy yesterday. He was fascinated by the camera.

I have struggled this week. Maybe it’s because it was a three-day weekend, we had guests and I got really, really tired. I think our eight-mile hike had something to do with that. Plus, my guests are always on the go and don’t stop to relax. Personally, I need some downtime and quiet.

I had hardly anything scheduled this week. Only a meeting about my HOA newsletter and a zoom call. You’d think I could relax and enjoy my days and evenings. Instead, I felt anxiety. I tend to be a worry wort.

Next week, I have a ton of things to do, appointments, lunches, and I’m throwing a belated birthday party for my husband. I spent this week worrying about all I have to do next week.

Walks and birdwatching help me to relax. But I was thinking if I was being present in the moment, I wouldn’t be anxious about next week.

How do you focus on being in the moment?

Watch as the cardinal pecks at the camera. After the cardinal leaves you can turn off the video 😊

Out of sorts

Posted on by
57

Sunrise on a cloudy morning.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling off. There are a bunch of things on my mind.

First, my daughter-in-law who was approved for disability until the end of March, was cut off from it out of the blue. Now my son and DIL have to fight the system to get it reinstated.

Next, she was informed by her job through email that they are exploring termination because her 12 weeks of leave through the Family and Medical Leave Act has ended. I don’t think that is legal, because cancer is protected under ADA. The doctor gave her leave of absence until her chemo treatments are done.

It’s so frustrating to me that they have this added stress. It’s unnecessary and wrong and they shouldn’t have to deal with these issues while she’s undergoing her last few months of chemo.

We had a house guest over the weekend. He was a childhood friend of my husband’s and they were roommates when we first got together. I thought he was staying with us for a few days, but he left early Sunday morning after arriving the afternoon before.

Finally, we have a tenant who hasn’t paid rent and it was due January 1. He’s strung my husband along with excuses and promises to pay and finally admitted yesterday morning that he doesn’t have the money. This is the same house where we had problems — with possible illegal activity. I wrote about it HERE.

What sort of things make you feel out of sorts?