A gray day

It’s cloudy and gray with a 90% chance of rain. It rained all night and should rain on and off the rest of the day.

I think I’m coming down with a bug. I haven’t been sick in a long time. But last night was rough. I was coughing, felt like I had a fever and someone split my brain with an axe. Not good.

I woke up hour after hour with relief. It’s 1 a.m. I have five more hours to sleep. It’s 2 a.m., four more hours. Finally, I pulled myself out of bed and took an Advil. I had moved into the casita so I wouldn’t keep my husband up all night. I was propped up on four pillows to help me breathe. I had the humidifier on and Olive was on my legs to give me comfort.

I had to get up early and drive my husband to surgery. It was a minor oral surgery thing, but he was having general anesthesia, so despite how I felt or what a lousy night’s sleep I had, I was on duty.

I packed a quilt, pillow, my laptop, Cheryl Oreglia’s book “Grow Damn It!” that I’ve almost finished. I had my journal to write my three pages. I was ready to hunker down in the car for hours. I didn’t want to sit in the waiting room coughing and sniffling.

I got two pages of my three written and my phone rang. The procedure was over. I’m talking 20 to 30 minutes!

I was kind of disappointed it was so quick. It was a let down after I was so prepared to sit for hours.

I drove him home and unpacked the car. Put him to bed. I’m ready for bed, too.

What procedures have you had or your spouse that went easier than expected?

Or, what has been worse than you thought it would be?

And now there’s weather

View from Indian Rock
View of San Francisco from Indian Rock park I enjoyed on an earlier visit to see my kids.

It’s my son’s surgery. I’m mentally preparing for the day ahead by visualizing what the day will bring. Go to the surgery center with my son. Buy him congee after surgery for a light easy-to-digest meal, buy ice, and help him get comfortable (FYI, I’m writing this on the morning of Jan. 4).

But then I got an email with friends who know I’m in the Bay area.

Here’s an excerpt from Yahoo News:

San Francisco is about to be hit with a ‘brutal’ storm so severe that a meteorologist says is ‘one of the most impactful’ he’s ever seen

The National Weather Service’s Bay Area office issued a frank and dire warning to citizens in a statement, saying the storm, which is currently forecast to begin peaking Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, could bring about flooding and the loss of life.

“To put it simply, this will likely be one of the most impactful systems on a widespread scale that this meteorologist has seen in a long while,” the warning read. “The impacts will include widespread flooding, roads washing out, hillside collapsing, trees down (potentially full groves), widespread power outages, immediate disruption to commerce, and the worst of all, likely loss of human life. This is truly a brutal system that we are looking at and needs to be taken seriously.”

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/san-francisco-hit-brutal-storm-155156145.html

Yep. This storm may make my caregiving duties more challenging than I was expecting. I’m hoping the news is over-hyping the storm and danger. But you never know.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I get through the next few days.

What is your weather like this week? Do you have storms headed your way?

Travel day

kids on a rock
Laguna Beach picture of my kids from around 2001.

After wandering around my house in shock for a couple days because of my mom’s sudden death, I headed to Berkeley to be with my kids. This was a preplanned trip which I think came at a remarkable time. My son is having foot surgery and he asked me to come up and take care of him for a few days.

I think this will help keep me busy and distracted. I think being with both my kids will be more helpful to me than I will be to them!

Of course the weather is supposed to be absolutely miserable with pouring down rain every day. I’m sitting at the airport in Phoenix with the blue skies surrounding me. I was worried about flying Southwest, but they seem to be back on schedule.

Here’s to my children and getting through my waves of grief. Here’s a link to my story about my mom.

If you lost someone in your life recently, what was most helpful for you to handle greiving?

Another week, another surgery

Rainbow in Santa Barbara during Christmas week.
A rainbow over the Christmas week VRBO.

This week I’m back taking care of my son in the Bay Area. He had surgery a few days ago. He heard the garbage truck coming, realized he forgot to take out the bins and raced down the stairs, breaking his foot. The last time I was here taking care of him, he had shoulder surgery from overuse injuries caused by swimming and rowing. That was several months ago, but not long enough for him to be healed and to be able to use crutches.

At Christmas week in Santa Barbara in the VRBO, he stayed on the main floor with us (mom and dad) and scooted around the kitchen and living room on his knee scooter. The main floor had the master bedroom and a small second bedroom. The rest of the “kids” — ages 21 to 34 — were on the lower level and out by the pool. I can only imagine how frustrating it was for him to be stuck with mom and dad.

He made the best of it and hopped down the spiral staircase a couple of times so he could sit with everyone by the pool.

I’m not sure what this week will bring. I’m sitting in his living room while he sleeps on the sofa with a cast on his foot. He has to return to remote work so I may be sitting quietly by getting ice for the ice machine and filling his water glass.

I brought a book I thought I’d read while I hang out in his house this week. But I finished more than half of it during during the plane ride. (Chanel Cleeton’s “When We Left Cuba.”) The good news is he and his girlfriend were Literature majors and they have a nice supply of books. I don’t need to get worried about finding another book to read.

shelves full of books and a knee scooter
Books and the knee scooter in my son’s living room.

What are you reading now? Have you taken care of your adult kids after surgery? We went out to dinner with friends the night before I left and they said they’d never do it. That their kids are on their own. What are your thoughts about that?

Coincidence or a blessing?

My kids with my dad pre COVID year.

My dad had surgery this morning. I know he wanted me to be there with him. But, my son asked me first to take care of him because he’s having shoulder surgery. So. I’m leaving to take care of my son. My dad joked that I could come to Palm Desert to take him to surgery and from there fly to San Francisco to take my son to his surgery.

I feel badly that I couldn’t be there for my dad. But I called two of my close friends that he knows who are available for anything he needs in the next few weeks. Plus his neighbor agreed to take him to and from surgery. He said it’s a minor procedure on one finger.

This is where the coincidence happened. I got a text from a fellow mom from my kids’ elementary school days. She said “He’s doing great!” She texted me a photo of a note she wrote to my dad, “Tell Elizabeth hil!”

I felt so reassured! So comforted to know that a good friend who was a nurse was taking care of my dad when I couldn’t be there.

The same thing happened when my husband had shoulder surgery. She was the assigned nurse. When my husband opened his eyes post surgery, he said “What are you doing here?” She had come into the waiting room to reassure me everything had gone well before she led me into the post op room to see my husband.

This has happened more than once. When my dad had surgery on his ankle, I was allowed in the pre-op area. Another good friend, a fellow swim mom who is a devout Christian, was his nurse. She knew my dad from the pool deck, where he was a proud grandfather at all of our kids’ meets.

Then when my son fell off his bike his freshman year of college, he had to come home for surgery. I was so nervous. The anesthesiologist walked in and was a husband of a good friend. Our son had tutored their daughter in high school for math. He said, “I saw his name on the list of incoming patients, so I asked to take his case.”

Playing croquet in our old back yard.

What do you think? Are these coincidences or is something else at work?

13 Days and Counting…

IMG_0093

My current view of my knee brace and backyard.

It was January 2nd that I fell skiing and I was afraid my world had stopped. I am pleased to report that it has not. The first couple days were tough, but now I believe I’m making progress in many ways. I’ve been in to see an orthopedic surgeon, I had an MRI, and tomorrow I go back for a diagnosis and treatment plan. I think the worst part was waiting. It was impossible to get into the doctor I wanted to see without knowing someone. I am so thankful for the help to get in, and seriously, without the help of my friends, it would have been two months before my first appointment.

Now that I have the end in sight and I’m hobbling around without much pain, I’m enjoying my days. I am sitting down much earlier in the mornings to write–because let’s face it—there’s not much else that I can do! So, I’m taking advantage of the time to catch up on projects. I can go to movies. I can read and go to lunch with friends. I do miss swimming and my morning walks around the park. A lot. I will be relieved to schedule a date for surgery and get on to the next part, which is recovery. Then, someday, I’ll get back to my Masters’ workouts and daily jaunts around the park.

With some big dates ahead on my calendar, I’m not sure when the surgery fits into my schedule, but I’ll have that conversation tomorrow with the doctor.

In the meantime, I’m repeating the motto I came up with for my Piranha Masters, “Hey, It’s Not That Bad!”

14203231_10154532169324612_7605971577516994452_n

Me and two of my Masters friends in the t-shirts we created.

 

Have you experienced an injury that has changed your daily life? What did you do to get through it?