Tag Archives: swim

The Olympics Made Me Miss Being a Swim Mom

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I wrote this post in 2015 when my daughter was swimming in college. Watching the Olympics and having a connection to a few of the swimmers made me miss my swim mom days.

My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC.
My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC. She’s the one with pointed toes.

We went to my daughter’s first college dual meet of the season this weekend. I loved every minute of the meet, but even more, spending time with her. She invited several swim teammates out to dinner. It felt like the sprinkle of rain after a long drought—listening to them laugh and talk about their meet and practices.

I didn’t realize how much I miss the little daily things about being an age-group swim mom.

I miss the kids hanging out. So many personalities, so many different families, all bound together by one common goal. Swimming.

My son and swim team friends.
My son and swim team friends. He’s in front.

I have a fierce loyalty to our team and the couple times when factions of parents split off to form their own teams, I was shocked and hurt. It felt like losing members of my immediate family. I’d always wonder why? I never thought we had a bad experience—maybe at times less than perfect—but I guess that’s part of the reason I didn’t understand.

Good times were sitting together in the stands cheering for all our kids. Getting the new team t-shirts, sipping Starbucks on a chilly winter morning under the pop-up tents. Chatting and laughing with parents while we waited to see what the day’s meet would bring. I loved working with our parents and officials under the admin tent, in awards, or in the snack bar at our home meets.

The team cheer at an away meet.
The team cheer at an away meet.

I loved having kids over to the house to hang out between morning and afternoon practices during long hot summer days. I loved cooking eggs, bacon and sausage in bulk for a pack of hungry swimmers. I was amazed at how much they could eat as a group. I loved having the team over for painting t-shirts for a big meet.

Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.
Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.

I loved listening to the kids laughing about silly things that happened in practice and the goofy songs they played and sang to like “Funkytown”  and the “Numa Numa Song.”

Most of all, l I loved seeing my kids smiling, laughing and enjoying their friendships. Throughout the years, my kids were surrounded by amazing kids, families and coaches. Just being in the background was a joy.

I miss those days.

Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.

What do you miss about earlier years in your life?

“Being a swimmer is something I do, It’s not who I am”

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swimmers celebrating

Photos: My daughter with her relay team celebrating at the Belmont Olympic Pool on the sand in Long Beach. This historic and treasured pool, opened in 1968 and was demolished in 2014.

I heard the phrase “Being a swimmer is something I do, it’s not who I am,” in an interview by Lydia Jacoby, gold medalist in the Tokyo Olympics and the first Olympic qualifier in swimming from Alaska.

Jacoby missed a spot on the Olympic team at Trials this year by .27 of a second. As heartbreaking as that may be, I love her statement that swimming is something that she does. It’s not her whole identity.

I believe many people, not only athletes, suffer when their identity is tied to their accomplishments, careers or relationships and lose WHO they are inside.

Two other stories from Olympic Trials 2024: Caeleb Dressel and Simone Manuel.

Both were phenoms as kids and reached pinnacle heights in swimming — in college and the world stage. Dressel is a seven-time Olympic gold medalist and holds world records in the 100 meter butterfly (long course and short course), 50 meter freestyle (short course), and 100 meter individual medley (short course).

Simone Manuel swam at the 2016 Rio Olympics, where she won two gold and two silver medals. She won the 100-meter freestyle, in a tie with Penny Oleksiak of Canada, and became the first Black American woman to win an individual Olympic gold in swimming and set an Olympic record and an American record. At the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she won a bronze medal as the anchor of the American 4×100-meter freestyle relay team.

They both quit swimming out of the blue for health reasons. Dressel shocked the swimming world when he left the World Championships in 2022. Eventually, he opened up about depression. Manuel was diagnosed with burnout or overtraining syndrome.

Maybe they needed a break from being swimmers to find out who they were.

The Comeback Kids — Olympic Trials 2024

The 22,000 spectators went wild when both Manuel and Dressel earned spots on the U.S. Olympic Team after taking time off — and then began training to make the 2024 Olympic Team. Manuel made the 4 x 100 freestyle relay. Dressel made the 4 x 100 free relay and came in first in the 50 free and 100 fly.

Simone Manuel and Caeleb Dressel.

UPDATE: Simone Manuel won the 50 Free last night and now has an individual event as well as the 4 x 100 relay!!!!

What are your thoughts about swimming is something someone does, it’s not who they are?

What other examples can you share where someone loses their identity to something they are doing, but not who they are?

Tribute to a Legend: Coach Jon Urbanchek

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Jon Urbanchek

Jon Urbanchek, Coach of University of Michigan, USC and US Olympic Team

RIP, Coach Urbanchek. He died May 9, 2024 at age 87.

“I’m not looking at how many fast times you have, or how many medals you’ve won, medals will tarnish, right? I’m looking at how many friendships you made.” -Coach Jon Urbanchek

When I was gathering stories for the SoCalSwimming History website, a swim official gave me Jon Urbanchek’s number to call. The year was 2017 and he was 80 years old. He told me how he was coaching part time at USC. I was amazed at his energy and how enthusiastic and friendly he was.

From my interview with Coach Urbanchek:

“I’m going to be 81 this year, and I still love the sport. I still volunteer coach at USC Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday because I love being with young people. I love the energy they put out. I think at my age it’s important to be active. I leave the house at 5 a.m. to get there at 6 a.m. driving through LA traffic. I’m officially retired but I’m very happy to be a part of the program. Even this year, I did the training camp for the national team. I’m still involved with the national team and USC. I want to continue on.”

I loved talking to him and learning his life story from leaving Communist Hungary, studying at University of Michigan to his decades-long career coaching.

He was a US Olympic coach on staff for ’92, ’96, ’00, ’04, ’08 and ’12. He was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame, Long Beach State Hall of Fame and University of Michigan Hall of Fame. 

There was an outpouring of love for him this week from the swimming community:

“It is hard to express how much Jon Urbanchek has meant to me since I first met him in 2012. He was my coach on the 2012 Olympic team and he has been a coach, a mentor and a friend since then. I learned so much from him. He was a kind and dedicated coach who never forgot his swimmers. I will never forget his dedication to our sport, his humor, his coaching style and his love for Team U.S.A. He was a coach of coaches. I know that all of my coaches learned something from him. I am so lucky to have had him as a part of my team….he never stopped coaching and encouraging me.”
— Katie Ledecky, three-time Olympian, seven-time Olympic gold medalist, 21-time world champion, and holder of three world records

“I can still hear him saying “keep it moving” “ey , _____ MOVE IT!”…. Thinking about what he taught me in and out of the pool… one of the most influential ppl I’ve had in my life…this man is a legend and truly one of one!

RIP buddy…. ❤️❤️ “
–Michael Phelps, legendary American swimmer who won 28 medals across five Olympics, making him the most decorated athlete in the history of the Summer Games.

“Undeniably among the legendary coaches of our time. Better was his inclusion of all of us on our way up. Fast friend to anyone who crossed his path. If you met him you were undoubtedly added to his contact list along with a selfie together. All of us in swimming owe his wife Melanie and daughter a debt of gratitude for sharing him with us.”
— Dave Salo, former U.S.A. National Team Coach and head coach at USC

“Jon Urbanchek was the Yoda to world swimming. Add on the sense of humor and occasionally needed warm hug. His wisdom grew and spread over the decades and his legacy will continue to influence future generations.  We will miss his presence and carry on his spirit. ‘Go Blue! Keep it movin!’” — Mike Bottom, former University of Michigan swimming and diving head coach (2008-23)

After my phone interview with Coach Urbanchek, I would run into him at swim meets.
I remember talking with him at Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic, Calif. I was there to cheer on our daughter.

He was coaching Haley Anderson, who swam the 10k in the 2012, 2016 and 2020 Olympics. We became friends with the Anderson family, because Haley’s younger sister, Jordan, swam with our daughter at the University of Utah. Haley and her sister Alyssa made the US Olympic team in London. Alyssa earned a gold medal for the 4 X 200 free relay, while Haley earned Silver, finishing 4/10s of a second — in the 6.2 mile race — behind the winner from Hungary.

Jon Urbanchek at the 2017 Open Water Nationals at Lake Castaic.

Who has made an impact in your life like Jon Urbanchek made in the swimming world?

What I miss about my daughter

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I wrote this when we dropped our daughter off at college several years ago. Now that she’s living in the adult world — I still miss these things about her. We were lucky to have her sheltering in place with us for a couple of months. That was one of the good things that happened in 2020 — not COVID-19 and being locked down — but getting the chance to spend time together.  

excited child at the beach
Kat at Carpinteria State Beach

We took our daughter to college two weeks ago. She looks really happy in the photos posted on FB and Instagram. She’s made new friends, is enjoying her team and coaches — and likes her classes.

My life is busy with new and old projects. But, I notice a quiet, a sort of waiting sense, that I didn’t feel before. It’s the little things about her that I miss.

close up of swimmer swimming butterfly
Kat swimming

I miss her cracking my back. She would give me a hug, tell me to relax and say, “One, two..” and lift me up in the air before she said three. The result was cracking, popping relief.

I miss her making me laugh. Kat is funny. I love her little half smile when she knows she’s especially clever. And the crinkles around her eyes when she laughs out loud.

I miss her cleaning out my wallet and organizing it for me. She’d say, “Mom your purse is a gateway to hoarding.”

I miss her walking through the kitchen door after her morning workout asking me to make her eggs. I don’t have anyone to make eggs for right now — except my husband and me — and we rarely eat them.

I miss her cat Olive walking on the skinny end of her four poster bed while she watched Netflix on my laptop.

precious baby kitten
Baby Olive

I miss when she was very young and called yellow “lallo.”  And when we’d go to the beach and she’d strip naked as soon as her suit got wet. I used to bring a bag full of swimsuits for her.

Kat in a dry suit at the beach with big brother Robert.
Kat in a dry suit at the beach with big brother Robert.

I miss going to the pool and watching practice, chatting with the other swim parents. That was a luxury that I took for granted.

Yes, I miss her and I hope she knows how much I love her.

Kat making an entrance into the room.
Kat making an entrance into the room.

What are the little things you miss the most about your kids who have left home — or friends you no longer see very often?

Too old to sprint?

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A view before sunrise during my morning walk.

Did you know?

“Exercise Before Surgery Slashes Post-op Complications”

That’s a headline I found for an article written by Lynn Allison. I’m having eye surgery tomorrow. Then in September some minor outpatient surgery. So the article caught my eye.

Researchers from the University of Otago in New Zealand say that intense exercise before surgery reduces the risk of postoperative complications as well as hospital stays by as much as 56%, says Study Finds.

“We have found that high-intensity interval training (HIIT) is safe and effective for surgical patients,” says lead investigator Kari Clifford, of the Department of Surgical Sciences at the University of Otago. “A HIIT program can meaningfully improve a patient’s fitness within four to six weeks, and this reduces postoperative complications and length of stay.”

The work analyzed 12 studies including 832 patients who engaged in HIIT before their surgeries. The training involved repeated aerobic interval exercises at about 80% of their maximum heart rate before going into active recovery.

The most significant result was the change in cardiorespiratory fitness (CRF) — a measure of how well the body takes in oxygen and delivers it to the muscles and organs during prolonged periods of exercise. The significant improvement in CRF lowers the risk of adverse postoperative events, says Clifford, in a university press release.

https://www.newsmax.com/health/health-news/hiit-high-intensity-interval-training-surgery/2023/07/21/id/1128061/

If high-intensity interval training is good for post op recovery, that must transfer to everyday life. I reflected on my own workout routines. I realized that my slow and steady walks and swims are not getting the job done.

When I swam with my Master’s coach, he’d change up the pace. He’d have me swim 75s or 100s alternating “fast and slow.” Like swim 25 easy, 25 sprint, 25 slow for a 75 four times through. I was changing my heart rate. Without a coach, I leisurely swim laps not changing pace, because I’m proud to show up. Period. There’s nobody to push me. Not even my husband. I watch him sprint during his last two hundred yards and worry that he’ll have a heart attack.

We have an assault fitness bike gathering dust. Yesterday I got on it and sprinted for 20 seconds followed by 30 seconds easy a few times. Yes, it got my heart rate going. It’s something I’ll repeat each day and build on. When I swim laps, I’m going to throw in some interval training and sprint a few 25s. It can’t hurt.

What are your thoughts about high-intensity interval training? Is it something you incorporate in your workouts? Do you think you can be too old for HIIT?

Please check out my new blog schedule with posts every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Why I Swim

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Palm Springs City Pool
Our old hometown pool at sunset.

I joined US Masters Swimming in 2015 after being on deck as a swim mom and parent volunteer for 14 years. It was the adult program with the team my children swam with from kindergarten through high school. My New Year’s Resolution that year — my first as an empty nester — was to join Masters and swim with a coach. It only took me until April to make good on my New Year’s resolution. But once I got in, I made slow, but steady progress.

My biggest issue with swimming is consistency. It’s something you have to do year round to get stronger. Not every day is a good day, although most of them are. The biggest challenge for me in the beginning was relaxing and getting a steady breathing pattern.

Lately my roadblock to consistency is weather. I do not like getting in or out of the pool when it’s cold. I quit for several months over the winter. Getting back into the pool this spring, I felt like I was starting over.

During the COVID years, our Palm Springs pool (above) was shut down. Then it opened to reservations for every other lane (social distancing). Our Masters team was not allowed to practice until about the time we moved to Arizona.

What I’ve discovered about swimming, rather than cheering on the sidelines, is that being in the water gives me a chance to reflect. It’s mostly a quiet time, where I get the best physical exercise, ever — plus peace and clarity in my day.

I’m still working on the breathing. When I do feel relaxed and smooth, I notice the following 10 things while I swim:

ONE

The way the water feels cool against my skin.

TWO

The bubbles my hands make entering the water.

THREE

Spirographs and kaleidoscopes of shadows and light on the bottom of the pool as the sun filters through the water.

FOUR

The shadow of the flags as I get close to the wall.

FIVE

Muffled sounds underwater. It’s like I’m listening to a foreign language.

SIX

The view of clouds, saguaro and desert when I stop to rest.

SEVEN

The slope of the pool with tiled, black lines curving to lower depths.

EIGHT

A clump of leaves that looks like a plant growing in a crack at the bottom of my lane.

NINE

Floating and swimming relaxed must be what flying would feel like.

TEN

Relief at the end of my 1,000-yards. I feel much stronger and smoother than during my first 100 yards.

As a swimmer, I appreciate with new understanding the hard work my kids and coaches have put in for years, every single day.

What activity do you enjoy that brings you peace and clarity in your day?

Things are going swimmingly

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That’s me diving off the blocks at my first US Masters swim meet in 2017. This was a relay and I was anxious I’d dive into one of my teammates in the yellow caps.

I got back in the pool last week and swam Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. I’m proud of myself for being consistent and I’m on track for this week too. I asked my husband to go with me on Sunday and after years of him not swimming, he loved it! So, I’m switching my swims during the week from mornings when he works to the afternoons so he can join me.

It’s a healthy fun alternative to our normal neighborhood walks.

The YMCA has an app where you can see if lanes are available and reserve your spot. However, the app has never worked for me. I can see the open spots, but I can’t reserve them. I have to resort to the old fashioned phone call.

When this first happened, I went to the front desk and a young man tried to get the app to work. He gave up and told me I needed a new phone — that my phone was too old. My phone was less than a year old! I prefer the home button on the iphone and Apple still has a model with it. So, my phone may look old to that kid, but it’s relatively new.

Then I contacted the IT people who made the app. They said I had to get help from the YMCA staff. I promptly gave up and used the phone to call and make reservations.

A few weeks ago the Y went to a new app. I thought my troubles would be over. But, no I still couldn’t make lane reservations.

I decided to give it another try and stopped at the front desk where a new young man sat. He looked at my phone, got on the computer and quickly solved the problem. On their end, a box had to clicked to make me the internet user.

Now I can make reservations for my husband and me. I can also cancel without having to call the YMCA and say my plans changed.

What apps do you use that make things easier. In what ways do you find technology makes things more difficult?