Category Archives: anxiety

What’s Your Theme Song?

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Olive on the sofa in the casita.

Have you heard about the power of music and the need for a theme song? I read an article by my favorite Wall Street Journal columnist Elizabeth Bernstein called “You Need a Personal Theme Song: A beloved song can pump us up and get us through tough tasks.”

Here’s a snippet:

Ms. Smith has been singing the song for decades at times when she needs an extra boost of courage or energy. The science supports her habit. Listening to a beloved song can help us manage our emotions and focus on the task at hand. It can also help us access what psychologists call our autobiographical memory, or personal history.

“It reminds us who we are and helps us stay focused on who we want to be,” says Daniel Levitin, a cognitive neuroscientist, who studies how music affects the brain.

Music can inspire us and spur creativity. If its beat is faster than our heartbeat, it can fire us up and make a difficult task feel easier, says Dr. Levitin, who was a session musician, sound engineer and record producer before becoming a scientist, working with artists such as Stevie Wonder and Blue Öyster Cult. A more sedate tempo can help slow our heart and respiration rate down. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/be-more-like-rocky-balboa-have-a-theme-song-8fb96c27?mod=life_work_lead_pos3

What would my theme song be? I listened to several songs I love and I think I need more than one theme song depending on the moment. The article agreed with this point:

Have more than one personal anthem

Your goals, challenges and moods change throughout your day and throughout your life. Your theme song should change with them.

“Music is functional,” says Dr. Rogers. “You have a need. And you want to choose music that fulfills it.”

Another person interviewed in the article said he started each day with his theme song. I may add that to my morning routine.

Below are two of my personal theme songs. What they have in common is they are laid back, soft and have beautiful lyrics. They are also songs I listened to in my teen years. I think the soothing melodies help me stay calm when I am anxious.

Castles in the Air written and sung by Don McLean

Disney Girls sung by Art Garfunkel, written by Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys

One of my favorite lines in Disney Girls is:

“Reality.

It’s not for me.

And it makes me laugh.”

Here are links to the lyrics of Castles in the Air and Disney Girls.

I hope you take a few minutes to listen to my theme songs or read the lyrics.

What would you choose as a personal theme song and why?

Three years ago this week:

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I was looking back on what was going on this time of year in 2022 and 2020. Last year, we made our first trip to Puerto Penasco, the Mexican beach town near us. In 2020, we were in our Palm Springs home working from home with orders to shelter in place. My daughter was staying with us. Here is what I wrote in 2020:

9 Thoughts About Shelter In Place: DAY 21

IMG_5481One of my favorite streets on my morning walk.

21 Days. Isn’t that something? My daughter came home a few days before we got the order. I’m so glad she made it here. She’s been a joy to have around along with her fur baby Waffles. We have plenty of room to have my husband, me and my daughter all working from home — together — yet apart.

Here’s a few thoughts I have about these strange days:

ONE
I go from super calm and productive to anxiety ridden from day to day.

TWO
I’m losing track of the days and the time. Twice I have woken up thinking it’s 6 a.m. and started the coffee only to look at the clock in the kitchen that reads 11:40 p.m.

THREE
My routine of daily three pages of writing, my three mile walk and Bible readings to start my day are more important than ever. All three help me stay grounded.

FOUR
I’m reading lots of good books. Sitting in my back yard in the sun reading is one of my favorite things to do.

FIVE
10,000 people have died in our country. My heart goes out to all the people suffering and losing loved ones.

SIX
We are now told to wear masks when we leave the house. I’m using a make-shift one from my quilting supplies. It’s hard to breathe during my morning walks, though, and my glasses fog up.

SEVEN
My writing jobs are completed and turned in and now I’m in uncharted territory without every minute of my day focused on meeting deadlines.

EIGHT
My daughter and I cleaned and organized the food cupboards and the laundry room. It feels good to have clean spaces.

NINE
I’m reaching out to family via phone and email. It’s important to stay in touch with your loved ones.

IMG_5474

My new morning walk look.

What were you doing a year ago this week? What were you doing this week in 2020?

Will they take a six-month pause?

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Cactus blooms

A cactus beginning to bloom. This is either a fish hook or hedgehog cactus.

Did you hear that Elon Musk, Andrew Yang and Steve Wozniak signed a letter asking artificial intelligence labs to put a pause on their development? Around 1,000 tech gurus signed the letter asking for a pause on development until shared safety protocol could be developed, implemented, and reviewed by independent experts.

What do they know that we don’t?

Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI, who released ChatGPT-4, admitted he was a little scared of what they’ve created. But he didn’t sign the letter.

A headline popped up on my phone stating what jobs would be lost first to AI. Accounting, mathematics and writing. It’s predicted 20% of jobs will be wiped away. That’s 20% of our workforce with no insurance or income.

I’m reminded of a freelance writing job that kept me busy during the early days of the pandemic. I featured small businesses for a trade magazine and another magazine highlighted parks and rec. I’d receive an email from the editor with a list of contacts and questions to ask. Each story had to include several things, like the square footage of the business and revenue. The assignments began to feel robotic because it was so formulaic. What kept it interesting were the people I interviewed. They had unique stories of how they created their businesses and what they were doing to make things work during the pandemic.

If you take people out of the equation, what do we have left? What are your thoughts?

Mung day

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A gray day in Arizona.

As I was thinking about my trip to Washington to celebrate my mom’s life, on Saturday my husband and I had a day where we didn’t want to do anything. I remembered my mom had days like that where she let us stay in our pajamas all day. She called them “mung days.”

I don’t know where she got that name for being lazy. I looked up “mung” at Dictionary.com:

noun

something disgusting or offensive, especially filth or muck.

verb (used with object)

to make dirty (often followed by up).

to spoil, ruin, or destroy (often followed by up).

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/mung

Maybe staying in your PJs all day doing nothing is filthy and disgusting?

I don’t remember the last time my husband and I had a “mung” day. He had a migraine Saturday. I was tired. We had a busy week and we went out with friends Friday night. On Saturday, I did my stretches, crunches, walk, dishes and laundry. Not a total waste of a day. I got out of my pajamas.

My mom on the other hand, had many a “mung” day. As I look back on my childhood, I remember full weeks when she didn’t get out of bed. Yes, she was a wonderful, loving mother. She was the mother I wrote about in the story I posted HERE who was talented and vibrant.

She was diagnosed as manic depressive, which is now called called bipolar. It wasn’t the easiest of childhoods for either my brother or me — because of both Mom and Dad. I’m pretty sure my kids would say the same thing about their childhoods, too.

I found this sign years ago in a gift shop and was immediately attracted to it. People laugh when they see it. I laugh too, but have memories that aren’t that funny.

I wrote a mid-grade novel loosely based on my childhood. I let several of my friends read it. One friend said, “I just want to give you a hug and raise you up all over again.”

I realized I didn’t want to have it published because it would be hurtful to Mom and Dad. So, the manuscript filled with emotions from my childhood sits quietly in a drawer. I may take a look at it again, maybe submit to publishers. Or maybe read it to recall my childhood days.

If you don’t have “mung” days, what do you do instead when you feel like not doing anything?

Apprehension alert

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road to our property in Washington state
The private road to our property in Washington.

The time has come. I’m traveling to Washington state to be with family and celebrate my mom’s life. She passed away from asymptomatic COVID on New Year’s Day.

My brother and I were grieving badly along with our aunt, Mom’s little sister, and we decided to wait until her birthday to spread her ashes and to be together to celebrate her life. I thought a little time would help me face the loss. I don’t know if it made it better or worse.

The trip has been hanging over my head since the first week of January. Now that it’s here, I’m feeling waves of grief and untapped emotion.

The photos are from property that has been in the family for three generations. This is where we’ll say good-bye to mom.

Property in WA
Our property on the Stilaguamish River.
Mom fishing in the river.
Mom trout fishing in the river when I was up for a visit from California years ago.

Frustration on the home front

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Wednesday was delivery day for our new dishwasher. I ordered the one model that was in stock. The one I wanted had a wait time for 25 weeks.

I had a window of four hours to wait for the dishwasher.

When it finally arrived, the three men who came to take away the old dishwasher and install the new one said they wanted me to see something.

I went outside to where they took the new dishwasher out of the packing and they showed me the middle rack was broken and hanging down.

So much for the new dishwasher. I called the saleswoman and left a message asking if they can get another one and when that might be. Haven’t heard back.

Meanwhile we had solar panels installed last week. It will be up to a month before they are turned on. The electric company has to inspect them, the local jurisdiction has to sign off.

We noticed damage to molding on the side of our garage door. It’s right under the solar panels and where the crew was working and didn’t exist prior to installation. I emailed and called our contact with the solar company. I didn’t hear back for three days.

I finally got an answer that they’d send out someone to repair the damage on Monday. Nobody showed up. Then I was told Tuesday. Didn’t happen. Next was an apology and Wednesday for sure. Nope.

I’m annoyed and frustrated. Although these are minor things, I wonder what happened to service?

What great service or horrible service have you experienced lately?