What’s Your Theme Song?

Olive on the sofa in the casita.

Have you heard about the power of music and the need for a theme song? I read an article by my favorite Wall Street Journal columnist Elizabeth Bernstein called “You Need a Personal Theme Song: A beloved song can pump us up and get us through tough tasks.”

Here’s a snippet:

Ms. Smith has been singing the song for decades at times when she needs an extra boost of courage or energy. The science supports her habit. Listening to a beloved song can help us manage our emotions and focus on the task at hand. It can also help us access what psychologists call our autobiographical memory, or personal history.

“It reminds us who we are and helps us stay focused on who we want to be,” says Daniel Levitin, a cognitive neuroscientist, who studies how music affects the brain.

Music can inspire us and spur creativity. If its beat is faster than our heartbeat, it can fire us up and make a difficult task feel easier, says Dr. Levitin, who was a session musician, sound engineer and record producer before becoming a scientist, working with artists such as Stevie Wonder and Blue Öyster Cult. A more sedate tempo can help slow our heart and respiration rate down. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/be-more-like-rocky-balboa-have-a-theme-song-8fb96c27?mod=life_work_lead_pos3

What would my theme song be? I listened to several songs I love and I think I need more than one theme song depending on the moment. The article agreed with this point:

Have more than one personal anthem

Your goals, challenges and moods change throughout your day and throughout your life. Your theme song should change with them.

“Music is functional,” says Dr. Rogers. “You have a need. And you want to choose music that fulfills it.”

Another person interviewed in the article said he started each day with his theme song. I may add that to my morning routine.

Below are two of my personal theme songs. What they have in common is they are laid back, soft and have beautiful lyrics. They are also songs I listened to in my teen years. I think the soothing melodies help me stay calm when I am anxious.

Castles in the Air written and sung by Don McLean

Disney Girls sung by Art Garfunkel, written by Bruce Johnston of the Beach Boys

One of my favorite lines in Disney Girls is:

“Reality.

It’s not for me.

And it makes me laugh.”

Here are links to the lyrics of Castles in the Air and Disney Girls.

I hope you take a few minutes to listen to my theme songs or read the lyrics.

What would you choose as a personal theme song and why?

The benefits of being HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)

saguaro
I love the saguaros across the street in the preserve.

In an article in the Wall Street Journal “The Superpowers of Highly Sensitive People,” journalist Elizabeth Bernstein talks about strategies sensitive people use to cope with overwhelming moments. (I love Bernstein’s articles and the fact that she’s an Elizabeth Anne like me. Although I’m an Ann without an e.)

She admits she’s what known as an HSP herself.

At the end of the article is a test you can take to determine if you’re an HSP too. I did, and according to the quiz, I passed with flying colors.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

HSPs process information more deeply than other people. They’re very responsive to emotions, both their own and those of others. And they’re often more attuned to sensations, such as taste, touch, sound or smell. 

Scientists have been examining HSPs for decades. Researchers believe that sensitivity occurs on a spectrum: About 20% to 30% of people are HSPs, including both men and women. A similar amount have low sensitivity, while the majority are in the middle. 

High sensitivity—another term is environmental sensitivity—is an innate, stable trait, requiring some HSPs to employ next-level coping skills. They use strategies such as setting boundaries, scheduling downtime and planning positive experiences.

These tactics often enable them to thrive in their personal lives and careers. They are also a great blueprint for everyone.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-superpowers-of-highly-sensitive-people-f20d0fa5?mod=life_work_lead_pos2

I thought it was an interesting concept to think about. It reminded me of a picture book manuscript that I wrote when my son was young. He told me his friend’s feelings were only in black and white while he had feelings in many colors — more than you can find in a large crayon box.

I won a couple awards with that manuscript, although I didn’t find a publisher.

I do agree with the journalist that the way HSPs cope are helpful to everyone. Set boundaries, allocate your energy, schedule downtime and things that make you happy, Sometimes I sit down in the yard, listen to the birds and watch the clouds. Then I feel recharged.

Do you think you’re an HSP? Who in your life do you see as a highly sensitive person? What are your thoughts with the coping skills mentioned in the article?

The end of AM radio?

boy tuning transistor radio
Photo by Victoria Akvarel on Pexels.com

Did you know that EVs interfere with AM Radio waves?

I read yesterday in the Wall Street Journal that Teslas have already gotten rid of AM.

Here’s an excerpt from “Sadness and Static as AM Stations Fade–Space aliens, UFOs, the supernatural—all grist for radio shows” by Peter Funt.

Several European car makers, including Audi, BMWPorscheVolkswagen and Volvo, have stopped putting AM radios in certain models. Trendy EVs and hybrids have electrical systems that interfere with AM audio. But rather than moving a few parts around, or shielding the equipment better, manufacturers are cutting out AM.

American automakers are taking a more cautious approach, but Tesla has already eliminated AM radios, and Ford plans to drop AM from its electric pickup trucks. It’s no small matter, since about 47 million Americans still listen to programming on the AM dial, according to Nielsen data.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/sadness-and-static-as-am-stations-fade-electric-car-airwaves-radio-host-ufo-media-auto-drive-soundtrack-11675023531?mod=hp_opin_pos_2#cxrecs_s

The article also said that those of us who grew up with AM radio view it as the soundtrack of our lives. I grew up on the west coast of Washington State. KJR AM radio was the top 40 station. One of my best friends signed up our high school for a competition where we saved our Wrigley’s gum wrappers and made a chain with them. The school that built the longest chain won a concert downtown Seattle for the band WAR — free for the entire school.

We won. I always wondered if we really won, or if it was my friend dating a DJ at the radio station?

I used to listen to the wacky Art Bell at night when I couldn’t sleep. People would call in with tall tales of UFOs and abductions, mysterious discoveries of crystal skulls and assorted weirdness. I found it entertaining.

I’d also tune into talk and news shows while I drove. It sort of was a soundtrack of my life.

Now with Sirius in the car, we rarely tune in AM. We listen to music of our preferred decades.

Do you think that AM will fade away? What AM stations have you listened to and what was their format?

A Tip to Fall Asleep Quickly

A firestick plant at a neighbor’s house. They are beautiful but toxic succulents.

Lying in bed each night, Andy Buelow often finds himself thinking one thought over and over: How awesome it was to ride the ferry across Lake Michigan as a kid.

Mr. Buelow pictures himself back on the ship, imagining the whir of the engines, the smell of steam, the rushing water and the cold spray on his face.

“When I remember the feeling, I am asleep within minutes,” says Mr. Buelow, 61 years old, the chief executive of a symphony orchestra in Muskegon, Mich. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-happy-memory-can-help-you-fall-asleep-if-you-know-how-to-use-it-11674527348?mod=life_work_lead_pos4

That is the opening of a story from the Wall Street Journal by Elizabeth Bernstein called “A Happy Memory Can Help You Fall Asleep, If You Know How to Use It.”

According to the article, sleep researchers say what we think about before we fall asleep is as important as having a relaxing routine, turning off our screens, etc.

Here’s another excerpt:

They recommend that as we prepare to drift off, we practice something called savoring, which is imagining a positive experience we’ve had in great detail.

Savoring is well-studied as a strategy to improve our general well-being. A considerable body of research shows that it can boost mood and help reduce depression and anxiety. Now, psychologists believe it can help us fall asleep and have better sleep quality, and are starting to study its effectiveness.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-happy-memory-can-help-you-fall-asleep-if-you-know-how-to-use-it-11674527348?mod=life_work_lead_pos4

So here’s the question, if you choose to try “savoring” what memory will you be thinking about?

Retirees sue ASU dive bar

saguaro in the Sonoran Desert
Saguaro in the Sonoran Desert

I like the concept of senior citizens living on campus with students. I learned about an apartment complex at the Arizona State University campus in Tempe in an article in the Wall Street Journal called “Who Let Retirees Move on Campus at Arizona State?” by James Fanelli.

It caught my eye since we live about 45 minutes from the campus.

From the article:

Senior citizens who moved into a pricey housing complex at ASU, once named America’s No. 1 party school, want more quiet, less loud music

Housing at Mirabella requires one-time fees that go from $440,000 to more than $1 million. Residents pay another $4,000 to $8,000 a month, which includes classes and meals.

Mirabella also is restricted to seniors. Residents must be 62 or older. It is one of the country’s few senior-living facilities set on a college campus, mixing older and younger generations by design. It hasn’t gone as well as hoped.

For the kind of money Mirabella’s 260 residents are paying, some are asking why they can’t get a little peace and quiet.

Some have complained about music that blasts late into the night. The vibration of bass notes has rattled the windows and walls of Sharon Murry’s apartment at all hours, the 72-year-old said. “That unrelenting bass thumping sound makes it difficult to concentrate or do anything else,” including sleep, she said in a court filing.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/who-let-retirees-move-on-campus-at-arizona-state-11665583186?mod=lifework_trending_now_article_pos4

Like I said, I think the concept of living on campus and being able to take whatever classes you want would be an amazing experience as a senior citizen. But the noise of a dive bar across the street blasting EDM until the wee hours of the morning would be too much.

I should know. Our old house was across from what used to be a health retreat for middle-aged women (once called a fat farm). It sold to a hotelier who wanted to turn it into a resort with live outdoor concerts. Our windows shook. My kids would lose sleep on school nights. It was a nightmare. We went to the county courthouse because I found a law that said we were entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of our home. The liquor license got restricted and if we could hear the music in our house, they would get fined. So many fines and their license would get revoked.

However, this case is different than the hotel across the street from our old home. The senior citizens of Mirabella knowingly moved on to the kids’ territory. The judge is trying to work out a compromise.

What are your thoughts? Should the old folks have a right to demand peace and quiet on a college campus?

What a coinkydink

Olive catnapping on the back of the sofa this morning.

Do you notice coincidences in your daily life?

A year ago, we had a visit from some friends from our old neighborhood. They asked “Do you spend much time with Bob and Julie?” Bob and Julie were another couple from our Palm Springs life. They lived a few blocks from us, our kids went to school together and Julie and I golfed together once a week.

“No, why would we see Bob and Julie?” We had lost touch when they became a hockey family and we were immersed in swimming.

The friends said “They live close by.”‘

Now that’s a coinkydink as my daughter would say.

My daughter keeps having them about a friend who committed suicide in December. He was a big McDonald’s fan. There are many photos of him proudly showing off a Big Mac. On his birthday, she opened her front door to find a Big Mac wrapper on her doormat.

I saw an article in the Wall Street Journal called “The Hidden Power of Coincidences — Surprising concurrent events can help us reach decisions, soothe us in grief and tighten our connections to others” by Elizabeth Bernstein.

She explains in the article that people and scholars have different views about coincidences. Some see them as spiritual, others see them as completely random. Others say it’s our subconscious making connections.

In any case, some people view coincidences as comforting or adding meaning to their lives.

Here’s an excerpt:

Dr. Beitman, who founded a nonprofit called the Coincidence Project, to encourage people to share their stories, has identified four types of meaningful coincidences. 

One is serendipity, which is a sort of happy accident, such as when you’re looking for your keys and you find the earring you’ve been searching for. Another is synchronicity, a term introduced into psychotherapy by psychiatrist Carl Jung, which he described as events that seem meaningfully related but have no apparent causal connection. You’re thinking of someone you miss and their favorite song comes on the radio, for example. Seriality is what happens when you see the same number or symbol over and over again. And simulpathity is a term Dr. Beitman coined to describe the experience of feeling a loved one’s pain or distress from a distance. 

If you’d like to boost your ability to notice coincidences, there are several strategies, says Lisa Miller, a clinical psychologist who is founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University: Be open to them. Write them down. Talk about them with others. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/making-sense-of-coincidences-11665483811?mod=life_work_lead_pos1

What coincidences have you noticed lately? Which category does it fall into? What are your thoughts about coincidences?

Have you heard of “Quiet Quit?”

beach view from Overlook Park Summerland.
View of the beach from the park below our Vrbo.

With more and more employees being called back to the office, jealousy is bubbling up in the workforce.

Companies are pleading with employees to come back to the office and are plying them with goodies like gift cards, swag and cash bonuses. I read that this is not sitting well with the employees who worked in the office throughout the pandemic.

If they are truly upset, they may “quiet quit.” I’ve seen the term before, but didn’t know what it meant. Today I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that explained it called “These Workers Were the Bosses’ Favorites. Now They Feel Jilted by Callum Borchers.

What’s waiting for people heading back to the office after Labor Day? Jealous looks from the underappreciated colleagues who returned long ago

“Tension is a real risk with this group,” says Kristie Rogers, an associate professor of management at Marquette University. “If we’re not paying attention to those who have been around a while, making sure that their efforts were valued and continue to be valued, there could be some division that undermines the purpose of bringing people back in the first place.”

She adds workers who believe their in-person contributions are not sufficiently rewarded may quit or “quiet quit,” staying in a job but doing only the bare minimum. 

Keeping everyone satisfied is especially difficult since many workers feel empowered to resist office callbacks and expect new perks in exchange for showing up. Those who’ve long been working in person can hardly be blamed for resenting the incentives—why weren’t they offered sooner?—even though the benefits are available to all.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/these-workers-were-the-bosses-favorites-now-they-feel-jilted-11661977719?mod=life_work_lead_story

It sounds like a mess to me. Jealousy in the workplace is awful. I should know. I was jealous in my 20s. I found out that a new hire was making much more than what I was paid. Yet, I had experience, a college degree and more responsibility. I didn’t “quiet quit.” I QUIT!

Then, I was on the other side. When I worked with my husband in financial services, I would leave earlier than others to pick up our kids from school and get them to swim practice. I was on the receiving end of dirty looks. But it was the deal we had.

Have you ever experienced jealousy at work?

What are your thoughts about quiet quitting? Have you ever worked with someone who did the bare minimum?

What do you think about working remotely versus showing up in the office?