A beach walk with my husband in the distance during our recent vacation.
I found a powerful article written by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey in the Wall Street Journal called The Power to Decide How You Feel. I think it’s exactly what I needed to read.
Here’s an excerpt:
Feelings, in the enterprise of your life, are like weather to a construction company. If it rains or snows or is unseasonably hot, it affects the ability to get work done. But the right response is not trying to change the weather (which would be impossible) or wishing the weather were different (which doesn’t help). It is having contingency plans in place for bad weather, being ready, and managing projects in a way that is appropriate to the conditions on a given day.
The process of managing this weather is called metacognition. Metacognition (which technically means “thinking about thinking”) is the act of experiencing your emotions consciously, separating them from your behavior, and refusing to be controlled by them. Metacognition begins with understanding that emotions are signals to your conscious brain that something is going on that requires your attention and action. That’s all they are. Your conscious brain, if you choose to use it, gets to decide how you will respond to them.
https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/the-power-to-decide-how-you-feel-9550c0c7?mod=lifestyle_lead_pos4
The idea in this article is that we can separate our thoughts and view them as though the emotions are happening to someone else. What would we tell them to do? If they feel trapped in a job they don’t like, they can make a change.
For example, let’s imagine you have a job that is really bringing you down. Let’s say you are bored and stressed, and your boss isn’t competent. You come home every day tired and frustrated, and you wind up drinking too much and watching a lot of dumb television to distract your mind. Tomorrow, try a new tactic. During the day, take a few minutes every hour or so, and ask, “How am I feeling?” Jot it down. Then after work, journal your experiences and feelings over the course of the day. Also write down how you responded to these feelings, and which responses were more and less constructive.
Do this for two weeks, and you will find you are feeling more in control and acting in more productive ways. You will also be able to start seeing how you can manage your outside environment better, perhaps making a timeline to update your résumé and asking a few people for job market advice, and then you might actually start looking for something new.
Thinking about thinking, separating ourselves from emotional outbursts or feelings sounds like a positive approach. I do think journaling has helped me through the years to feel more grounded.
Have you heard about metacognition before? What are your thoughts about “thinking about thinking?”
I have been thinking since our conversation yesterday. We need freedom! Anxiety has never been so prominent. I have definitely heard journaling can help. I’ve never heard the term metacognition, but I have read that leaning in to different feelings can be advantageous. I think these are all good ideas, but the whole discussion makes me sad. It makes worry a foregone conclusion. I don’t believe God intended us to live enslaved to it. I want more for us than figuring out how to cope with it. I want us free from it!
I do think journaling helps me. But so does walking and prayer. Anxiety is prevalent in our society and I agree that we need to let go and be free. I’ve never heard the term metacognition before either. To me it means to stop when I’m having negative or worrying thoughts and not let them take over.
Journaling works but oversharing does not, for me.
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This is the first time I’ve heard this term. But long ago, my father in law used to tell us to step outside of our thinking and look at life from the visitors gallery. That is; look at the bigger picture and see how it is affecting our lives.
This is very same advice and worth thinking about. Thanks for sharing
That’s great advice. I do believe that is the same concept. Of course today they had to come up with a term for it.
Yes, giving it a name makes it more recognizable for others and easier to understand.
I went to one entire class at the UW that was new words for common sense processes. It drove me crazy. But I do see your point that labeling can make it more accessible and understandable. I didn’t like having to learn a whole new vocabulary for things I already had names for.
Lol! That’s rebranding for you. 😂
That’s it! 😅
Ooh, I’ll need to check out that full article. I’ve heard metacognition referred to as “mental models,” but the same idea–thinking about thinking. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time on the topic. The way I see it, smart people have analyzed our thinking patterns, interpersonal dynamics, and the habits we naturally fall into and have leveraged that knowledge and created frameworks and tools to help us optimize all aspects of our lives, so it’s advantageous to study those things. But also, as you mention, check in with ourselves regularly to better understand (and adjust, if needed) the way we think.
I enjoy your insights on metacognition. I’m sure we all have patterns that we fall into and this analysis can help us break out of them into new behaviors. This also reminded me of your Five Whys from yesterday.
I love thinking…about thinking…and I wonder if you saw this article recently? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/feel-better/202309/the-power-of-rethinking
Sending big hugs! 🥰
Thank you for the link! I haven’t seen it. Also thanks for the hugs 💕
You bet…endless hugs available to you, on demand, anytime! 💕💕💕
😊
Have you heard about metacognition before? I understand the concept but have never heard it called this which is a fine name for a good practice.
What are your thoughts about “thinking about thinking?” I enjoy thinking about thinking. It was pretty much the crux of my graduate school degree in Communications. Bring it on, I say. Let’s think it through.
My degree is in Communications, too. Editorial journalism. It is a good practice to stop and think about where our thoughts are coming from.
I see thinking about thinking as a logic path along the journey of being inquisitive and curious. Digging down to the why so to speak rather than simply setting and stewing and living with old problems and issues. Clear them out I say, as there are certainly more waiting in line to be dealt with. Such is life I think and many would simply avoid the dealing part.
So true. Many people fall into old habits and behaviors. It helps to stop and think about why or what we’re doing to move on.
I seem to always be trapped in reaction mode. Haven’t heard of metacognition before, but I did try cognitive therapy once and just couldn’t get the hang of it. My knee-jerk self has a hard time taking a time out to process. Believe me, I wish it were otherwise.
I totally understand. I start with the knee jerk reaction but try to calm down from there.
You’ve introduced me to a new term, Elizabeth. With all the social-emotional-learning that kids are doing these days, it seems like we are starting to teach this at a young age. The metaphor of the weather is so good. Great post!
Thank you!
I just started their book….but as to your question…I think about everything…so yeah…
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Well, my husband is more logos and I am often more pathos. So, yeah.
Interesting. I think that sums up my husband and me, too.