I cried through the whole movie

A movie poster for Sound of Freedom where a trafficked boy is reunited with his father.

I’m sure glad I thought to put tissues in my purse before we went to the movies Saturday. I love going to the movie theaters, which pre COVID, we did every weekend. There was a theater a quarter mile from our house and with temperatures well over 110 degrees, a cool, dark theater was the perfect place to hang out in the summertime.

Since COVID, we’ve seen three movies in theaters. Last summer we saw the new “Top Gun.” Last month, “About My Father,” and Saturday, “Sound of Freedom.”

I’m surprised at the weird reviews “Sound of Freedom” is getting from some news outlets like Rolling Stone and Washington Post.

‘Sound Of Freedom’ Is a Superhero Movie for Dads With Brainworms — headline from Rolling Stone

‘Sound of Freedom’ is a box office hit whose star embraces QAnon — headline from Washington Post

The reviews I’ve read like those above, after watching the movie, are so far off base. They state that it’s a right-wing, Q-Anon, religious movie that’s paranoid about child sex trafficking and exaggerates the issue.

First of all, the movie is based on a true story of a former government agent who makes it his mission to rescue trafficked children. He quits his job where he was arresting pedos watching porn online to rescue children. Throughout the movie, you see the horrific truth about child sex trafficking, which is the second largest criminal activity in the world — hence the reason for my tears.

There’s nothing right-wing or “Q” about this movie — unless being against child trafficking is considered “right wing” (sarcasm alert). It makes me wonder if the journalists bothered to see the movie, or did any research about child sex trafficking? The movie brings to light a terrible tragedy that is happening around the world including in the United States.

As I’ve written before, I learned a lot about human trafficking through a charity I joined. It turns out Phoenix is one of the biggest hubs in the nation. Prior to my experience with The Dream Center, I had no clue about human trafficking and that it’s so prevalent.

The Dream Center of Phoenix is a four-year resident facility for victims of human trafficking. They provide a safe home, medical care, optometrists, food, clothing, a garden, mental health treatment and if wanted — a place to worship. Our group provides fundraising and donations of whatever they need from toiletries to clothing for the Dream Center.

Here’s a post I wrote about human trafficking facts from my education through The Dream Center. Two of the facts on that post include that 1% of sex trafficked children are rescued and the number one prospect for child sex trafficking are young boys.

Sound of Freedom is a difficult movie, but a compelling story with great acting. In my opinion, it’s important to get the message out about human trafficking so it can be stopped. The reviews are a reminder to not believe everything you read in the media!

How familiar are you with the crisis of human trafficking around the world and in our country?

On a lighter note, what good movies have you seen lately?

Who can turn the world on with her smile?

“With her widower’s help, a splendid new documentary explores Mary Tyler Moore’s private side,” is an article from the Los Angeles Times by television critic Robert Lloyd. Here’s an excerpt:

“Who can turn the world on with her smile?” It’s Mary Tyler Moore, of course, and you should know it.

To be precise, it’s Mary Richards, a person Moore played. But the smile was her own, and it worked magic across two situation comedies that described their time in a way that some might have regarded as ahead of their time. Although Moore proved herself as an actress of depth and range and peerless comic timing again and again, on the small and big screen and onstage, “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” made her a star, and incidentally a cultural figurehead, and are the reason we have a splendid new documentary, “Being Mary Tyler Moore,” premiering Friday on HBO. Were it titled simply “Being Mary,” there’d be little doubt who was meant.

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/tv/story/2023-05-26/being-mary-tyler-moore-documentary-hbo

My daughter called to tell me about a documentary I had to watch called “Being Mary Tyler Moore.” If you’re wondering why someone born at the tail end of the millennial generation would watch a documentary about Mary Tyler Moore, you have me to thank.

I loved the Mary Tyler Moore show with great characters like Lou Grant, Rhoda Morgenstern and Phyllis Lindstrom. My family watched the show religiously in the 1970s. Not only was it a ground-breaking show, it was one of the first sitcoms to employ women writers. The original writers (who were men) realized they had no clue what was in a woman’s purse, so they hired women writers to make the show authentic. Not only was the writing fabulous, the actors were, too.

I have faint memories when I was very young of Mary Tyler Moore as Laura Petrie in the Dick Van Dick show and Van Dyke tripping over their ottoman. That show propelled Mary Tyler Moore to become a full-fledged Emmy-award winning star.

When my kids were growing up, I believed they were missing great shows that were no longer on the air. I bought the entire Mary Tyler Moore, I Love Lucy and Seinfeld TV series on DVD. My daughter loved them. One of the things she like best about Mary Tyler Moore was the fashions.

I took my daughter’s advice and watched the documentary over the weekend. I found out many details about Mary’s life and how she changed how women were presented on TV forever.

Do you remember Mary Tyler Moore in the 1960s and 70s? What shows were your favorites when you were growing up?

A sign things are “normal”

backyard downtown Palm Springs
Our old backyard in Palm Springs with a view of Mt. San Jacinto

When we lived in Palm Springs, Calif. which is one of the hottest spots in our nation — next to Death Valley — we used movies as an escape from the heat. It didn’t matter what was playing, we’d find something we were mildly interested in. It got us out of the house where we spent most days.

Then COVID hit and movie theaters were closed. I missed movies a lot. I loved the smell of popcorn when you walk through the theater doors. I loved the few hours sitting in the dark, watching the big screen with unbelievable sound.

I remember writing during the shutdown that the first thing I wanted to do when things reopened was go to the movies.

Fast forward to September 2022 — and we hadn’t been yet. The reason why? I was uncomfortable sitting in the theater with a bunch of strangers. Once we moved, the theater was a 30-minute drive, not a few blocks. The Phoenix area has 6 million people, rather than the 48,000 of Palm Springs. Whenever I looked online, the theaters were full.

Labor Day was packed at the beach. We went early and left when floods of people set up their umbrellas and chairs. We came up with the brilliant idea of going to the movies!

We saw Top Gun. I loved every minute of it. I felt like it was a milestone of getting back to “normal.”

What was first on your list to do post shutdown?

Amazing Movie Day

poster for Lion movie.
Movie we watched for movie day.

When I got home from movie day at a neighbor’s house yesterday, I immediately texted my kids to watch the movie “Lion.” Then I bought the movie online so my husband could watch it, too.

The movie stars Dev Patel from “Slumdog Millionaire” fame and Nicole Kidman. The actor who plays the five-year-old main character Saroo is amazing and steals the show. It’s based on a true story of a young boy who gets lost and separated from his family. He’s eventually adopted by a loving couple a continent away from home. He tries to find his family 25 years later.

It’s powerful story. It’s intense. It’s easily the best movie I’ve watched in years. It came out in 2016 and I wonder how I missed it? It was nominated for six Oscars and won BAFTA awards. It’s a movie produced jointly by Australia and the UK, but was distributed in the US by the Weinstein Company. In any case, I’m thankful for the invitation to movie day and the discovery of this movie.

As for movie day, I was a little uncomfortable going to a neighbor’s home I had never met before. She had a dozen women over, all older than me. I knew only two of them. Eventually, I relaxed and enjoyed myself. The food was delicious. It was a potluck lunch and the host hand-churned mint and strawberry-ice cream for dessert!

Have you seen the movie “Lion?” If yes, what was your opinion of it? What are a few of the best movies you’ve watched this year?

The ups and downs of blogging

sunrise in the desert
Sunrise from the back yard.

I have never posted about stats before. I’m talking WordPress numbers. But after I posted Party time! something weird happened. It’s only happened once before.

My stats boomed. I was up 1,427% !!

The question is why? Wouldn’t I like to know that secret.

The other time my stats skyrocketed was when I wrote about a Darlene Love concert I attended with my husband, dad and son. We had a venue in Palm Springs called The Follies. She was the headliner for their last few shows that included dancers in their 60s and 70s who look amazing!

I figured out why those stats boomed. I shared my blog post with Darlene Love through social media and she posted it!

But Monday’s post? Maybe it’s because our son’s sister-in-law Alexandra Simpson has a following or Chuck Prophet, the musician she’s playing with in the Youtube video for newly released song “Meet Me at the Roundabout.”

If you don’t know who Darlene Love is, I highly recommend the Oscar-award winning movie “20 Feet from Stardom.” Heck, I recommend that movie because the stories of the backup singers are so powerful and it includes many big stars like Sting, David Bowie and the Rolling Stones.

What are your thoughts about stats? Do you think spikes happen because of key words, SEO, tags? Or just luck?

What’s the Golden Rule of Parenting?

emerson

My first grade class. I’m in the bottom row.

When I was a first grader at Emerson Elementary in Snohomish, WA, our teacher said, “Please, raise your hand if you know the Golden Rule.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by the “Golden Rule.” She pronounced each word with such emphasis and finality it made me wiggle in my seat because I wasn’t sure what it was — and it sure must be important. I looked around me and everyone’s hand had shot straight up. So, I shyly raised my hand, too. I thought hard and hoped she wouldn’t call on me. My mind raced through all the Bible versus our Mom spouted off at a fast clip each morning. The best I could come up with was from Matthew 5:39, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

After a sigh of relief when the teacher called on someone else, I learned that The Golden Rule was to “treat others how you wished to be treated yourself.” After that revelation, the teacher pulled down the white screen over the green chalkboard, turned off the lights and started up the projector to show us a black and white, approved for school circa 1950s, short film on “The Golden Rule.”

This memory came back to me after reading an article in Psychology Today by Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. called Good Parenting—It’s Not Complicated: Learning to be the type of parent that your child deserves.

It seems her parenting advice is kind of a Golden Rule itself. Be the parent you would want to have as a parent Here’s an excerpt, but be sure to click on the link above to read it in full detail. It’s worth it and it’s not that long. She gives a list of things we can do to improve.

I just searched for the term “Parenting” in the Books section on a major online platform.

Do you know what I found?

Over 50,000 titles!

This makes me happy… and frustrated. 

Happy, because if you’ve got valuable insights to share—on any topic—writing a book is a beautiful way to do it. (I’ve written 15 books

, myself.)

Frustrated, because… hmm. How do I put this elegantly? 

Let’s try this:

Good parenting is not rocket science—and it shouldn’t require 50,000 books to help parents understand what is required. 

As a parent, your job can be quite simple. 

To care for your child, as you would care for yourself.

The problem is that many grown-ups don’t actually care for themselves in all of the ways that matter. They know how to care for themselves in the basic and fundamental ways—like brushing teeth, washing hair—but not always in the deeper ways, like maintaining emotional health or prioritizing self-respect and self-worth (which invariably translates into making positive choices.) Yes, making positive choices is a form of self-care.

The problem is that many grown-ups never learned how to truly be well-adjusted grown-ups, in large part because their parents or caregivers weren’t equipped to teach them everything they needed to know. So they tend to pass along that “shakiness” to their children, perpetuating the cycle of inadequate parenting and shaky life skills. 

It is heartbreaking, but true. 

This is a problem that 50,000 books are trying to help resolve. 

This is a problem that I have devoted much of my 30-plus-year career in the counseling field to solving, too.

A lot of my early classroom memories are of teachers reading to us after recess, putting our heads down on desks to play a game called “Seven Up” — at  least that is what I think it was called. And those black and white films the school would order. I’d love to see them now. I bet they’d make me laugh with how corny and contrived they were. They did then.

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High school friends.We were all in the Yearbook staff together.

What do you think about the golden rule suggestion in parenting? Do you use it and try to parent differently than your mom and dad?

Run, don’t walk, to “Eighth Grade”

download“Eighth grade,” the movie, by YouTube star Bo Burnham was touching, emotional, realistic and absolutely worth it. My daughter and I went to the theater yesterday and together we laughed, giggled, wiped a few tears and felt awkwardly uncomfortable. The movie is so realistic and the acting by Elsie Fisher as Kayla was perfect. Complete with pimples, baby fat and an unbearable shyness, you felt her pain during her last few weeks at school as she tried to come out of her shell and fit in.

Here’s part of a review in USA Today by Taylor Seely:

Bo Burnham’s ‘Eighth Grade’ isn’t trying to teach you anything, and that’s the beauty of it

The modern coming-of-age movie “Eighth Grade” has been praised by just about every news outlet or magazine.

Written and directed by YouTuber-turned-stand-up-comedian Bo Burnham, the film’s been lauded for its realistic, no-holds-barred look into the teen experience.

It portrays timeless themes like body-image, romance and fitting in. But it also elegantly hones in on the dynamic, and perhaps inseparability, between digital culture and Generation Z. 

The funny thing is that the film is neither for nor against social media. There’s no takeaway lesson that Burnham’s forcing down your throat. He’s just trying to capture real life. 

Essentially, the movie has no agenda, Burnham told All The Moms.

And that’s the beauty of it.

So what’s ‘Eighth Grade’ about?

Note: Spoilers ahead!

The movie opens with teenager Kayla, played by Elsie Fisher, speaking into a camera for her YouTube channel. A little nervous, a little pimply, and a whole lot relatable, she’s talking about how she doesn’t have many likes on her videos yet and how people tend to see her as quiet and shy, even though she’s really outgoing but just doesn’t talk much at school.

During the film, we stay with Kayla for her last few weeks of middle school.

download-1In the Arizona Daily Sun, Dan Stoffel wrote a review: Eighth Grade, a remarkably poignant movie.”

Eighth-grader Kayla Day (Elsie Fisher) is shy and quiet around other people, but in her YouTube videos, she gives great advice about how to put yourself out there with confidence. It’s just too bad she can’t practice what she preaches and her attempts to fit in with the cool kids—or with any kids for that matter—crash and burn.

Writer-director Bo Burnham, at the helm of his first feature, takes us into Kayla’s world as she tries to get through the end of the school year with high school on the horizon. Eighth Grade is funny, sad and at times uncomfortable, exactly like poor Kayla, who really wants to come out of her shell but just can’t seem to get things right. Her single dad (Josh Hamilton) tries to help but, like many 13-year-old girls, Kayla doesn’t really want to know what he thinks.

With a simple narrative and no splashy film-making tricks, Burnham has crafted a remarkably poignant movie by relying on the authenticity of Fisher, Hamilton and the rest of the cast of relatively unknowns. The on-screen chemistry between them seems so real it’s almost as if Burnham were filming a reality show but with better (and less obvious) scripting. I thankfully don’t have a great idea of how 13-year-olds talk, but I have to think it’s exactly like these kids. And Eighth Grade stealthily emphasizes how different their world is from when folks like me were growing up. For example, some high schoolers, just four years older than Kayla, talk about how she’s from an entirely different generation than they are. To me, that was a much longer period of time—like the era of black-and-white vs. color television, not the age at which I got Snapchat.

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“Eighth Grade” had my daughter reminiscing about that awkward age before high school when you’re trying to figure out who you are. She remembered going to a couple birthday parties where everyone was on their phones and nobody was talking to each other. The movie did an amazing job showing how social media plays such a big part of our kids’ lives today. Literally, every scene had kids on their phones or computers, sharing and portraying themselves as they wanted to be seen. The movie doesn’t preach about technology but rather shows it realistically. It reminded me of a reality show but with a captivating character, you’re really rooting for. It was a great movie to share with my daughter.

If you’ve seen “Eighth Grade” what are your thoughts about it?