Category Archives: anxiety

Are we happier as we age?

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Me, my hubby and pug Waffles at a beach near Santa Barbara.

On one of our morning walks, my husband told me about a continuing education class he was taking.

The topic had to do with age and happiness. It discussed at what age we are the happiest.

I wish I had the charts and info from his studies, but once he completed the course, the info disappeared into a great gulf of technology wasteland.

I googled the topic and found articles that follow what my husband told me. When we are children we are very happy. But what happens as we age?

Here’s what I found from Psychology Today:

Are people happier at age 20 than they will be at age 70?

This was the focus of a new study published in the journal Psychological Science. The research suggests the likely answer is “yes,” but with some important caveats.

“A pervasive concern among many people across the world is that growing older and reaching senior status means leaving their best days behind,” state the researchers. “However, a fair bit of longitudinal and cross-sectional research has shown that levels of happiness remain relatively stable across the life span. Using representative cross-sections from 166 nations (more than 1.7 million respondents), […] we found only very small differences in life satisfaction.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202003/does-happiness-decline-age

My husband said he learned that our happiness goes down from childhood through stressful years of college, finding a career, entering our thirties and forties. That’s when we have pressures of paying bills, raising a family and all the hectic busyness that goes along with that phase.

As we leave that life behind, we don’t worry so much about keeping up with the Joneses, or worrying what people think of us. We’re more relaxed and look for happiness in personal relationships and in small things in our day-to-day lives.

By the time we hit 60, we have time to smell the roses, so to speak. The happiness declines slightly well into our 70s and 80s — maybe when things start to hurt physically and we may be more isolated.

Here’s an excerpt from 2015 in an article in Scientific American called “With Age Comes Happiness: Here’s Why” by Marta Zaraska:

Get Happy

  • As people grow older, they tend to experience what psychologists call the age-related positivity effect—an increasing focus on positive events and happy feelings.
  • In imaging studies, elders who concentrate on joy have strong activity in circuits linking the amygdala, involved in emotion, and decision-making regions of the medial prefrontal cortex. Eye-gaze studies show that the older people look longer at upbeat images and away from upsetting ones.
  • Psychologists have found that when individuals of any age are reminded of life’s fragility, their priorities shift toward emotional goals such as feeling happy and seeking meaningful activities.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/with-age-comes-happiness-here-s-why/

Of course these studies don’t take into account a lot of factors, like how stressful or chaotic our childhoods were or many of the hardships we may encounter on this journey called life. But I found it interesting.

What are your thoughts about age and happiness? Do you agree disagree that we are happiest in our childhood and then become happier again as get older?

Hot new trend in homes

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Teammates cheering at the Pac 12 Champs swim meet

My daughter leaning on a block, cheering on a teammate who was trying for her first NCAA cut at the PAC 12 swimming championships.

One of the things I like about the resort we visit in Mexico is a super hot jacuzzi outside our patio with a cold plunge pool next to it. We spend the evenings going back in forth between the two.

I’m not alone enjoying this sensation. I read in the Wall Street Journal that a new home trend — besides backyard bars — is cold plunge pools.

In an article called “The Hottest New Home Amenity? ‘It’s Brutal.'” According to reporter Jessica Flint, “Homeowners are spending tens of thousands of dollars to outfit their properties with cold plunges.”

Here’s an excerpt:

Most mornings after Stephen Garten wakes up at his home in Austin, Texas, he goes into his backyard and starts pacing, preparing himself for what’s next. “It’s brutal,” says Garten, 37, the founder and CEO of social impact company Charity Charge. “It’s a real challenge every day.”

He’s talking about lowering himself into a 66-inch-long and 24-inch-wide stainless steel tub clad in customized zebrawood and submerging himself up to his neck in water that he sets at 39 degrees Fahrenheit, with water circulating at 1,400 gallons a minute. “It’s like being in a river,” he says of the flow rate produced by this particular vessel, a Blue Cube cold plunge.

It’s an experience that Garten typically tolerates for less than two minutes at a time, once or twice a day. And it comes at a price of $19,000. Blue Cube, based in Redmond, Ore., makes cold plunge units that cost between around $18,000 and $29,000.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/cold-plunge-for-the-home-a836fe17?mod=re_homes_substory_pos2

I don’t know about you, but that seems like a pricey addition to the backyard. Fortunately, our pool only gets a little morning sun and even though it’s June — it’s still pretty cold. Of course not 39 degrees cold, but inviting after sweating during my morning walk! In the winter, it’s cold enough I stand waist deep after a hike on our nature trails. It helps get my legs back under me.

I have a friend from college who lives in Sun Valley, Idaho. Her husband said they have a snowy creek behind their house and he gets in and lays down after working out! Wow!

It reminds me of my daughter’s swimming years. Starting in high school, she’d have an ice bath after prelims. Finals would be in the evening and to get her legs back in shape we’d fill the tub in the hotel with cold water and ice from the ice maker down the hall. She’d get in with some sound effects and sit waist deep in ice water!

Afterwards, she lay on the ground with her legs up against the wall.

Ice baths and cold plunges have been used for years by athletes. Now the trend is going mainstream and the health benefits include less joint, muscle pain and anxiety, boosted energy and more focus.

The good news is you don’t have to spend tens of thousands of dollars to reap the benefits. All you need is a tub with ice and cold water!

What are your thoughts about cold plunge or ice baths? Have your tried it? If so, did it help your with pain, sore muscles or stress?

When our kids were young swimmers on the Piranha Swim Team in Palm Springs.

Parents cashing in on kids

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kids on a rock
Laguna Beach picture of my kids from around 2001.

My daughter shared an article with me that she thought I’d find interesting for my blog. It’s from Teen Vogue — which she said is not behind a paywall — and has more interesting articles than fashion like “What’s hot for summer.”

In “Influencer Parents and The Kids Who Had Their Childhood Made Into Content” by FORTESA LATIFI, I learned about parents who cashed in on their kids on social media.

Here’s an excerpt:

Claire, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, has never known a life that doesn’t include a camera being pointed in her direction. The first time she went viral, she was a toddler. When the family’s channel started to rake in the views, Claire says both her parents left their jobs because the revenue from the YouTube channel was enough to support the family and to land them a nicer house and new car. “That’s not fair that I have to support everyone,” she said. “I try not to be resentful but I kind of [am].” Once, she told her dad she didn’t want to do YouTube videos anymore and he told her they would have to move out of their house and her parents would have to go back to work, leaving no money for “nice things.”

When the family is together, the YouTube channel is what they talk about. Claire says her father has told her he may be her father, but he’s also her boss. “It’s a lot of pressure,” she said. When Claire turns 18 and can move out on her own, she’s considering going no-contact with her parents. Once she doesn’t live with them anymore, she plans to speak out publicly about being the star of a YouTube channel. She’ll even use her real name. Claire wants people to know how her childhood was overshadowed by social media stardom that she didn’t choose.  And she wants her parents to know: “nothing they do now is going to take back the years of work I had to put in.” 

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/influencer-parents-children-social-media-impact

It would be easy to judge these parents as monsters. But, I am thankful Instagram and TikTok did NOT exist when my kids were young. Wait, I’ll retract my statement and call it exploitation of children. I guess that’s being judgmental, right?

I had Facebook when my kids were growing up and my pages were an embarrassing brag-site of my amazing, marvelous kids! It’s nauseating to look back on.

As my daughter got older, her friends would bully or tease her about awkward tween years’ photos I posted. She asked me to NOT post anything about her without permission. I mostly followed her wishes. Maybe slipping up a few times.

Although I look negatively at parents who use their children as cash cows, like I said, I’m glad it wasn’t something I had an option to do. Unlike TV and movie parents, there are no protections for kids who are content on their parents’ social media sites. The article goes into detail about how contracts with TV and movies have protections for children and they get money put into a trust.

By the way, I also didn’t think it was right for swim parents to put pressure on their swim kids to earn college scholarships. I had a weekly column about swim parenting HERE. Too much pressure, period. However, if a scholarship did happen, that’s icing on the cake of all the valuable lessons and friendships gained through sports.

I look at the harm social media has done to our kids who grew up with it. Suicide, depression, anxiety and eating disorders are running rampant. I wonder how these teens are doing who were used as influencers since toddlerhood?

I have a weekly zoom call where we talk about all sorts of current subjects. We are a variety of ages, religions and a spectrum of political persuasions. One of the topics we’ll talk about next week is social media and our youth. Here’s A LINK to a Surgeon General’s Advisory from the Department of Health and Human Services that I received from the group yesterday. In the article is a pdf from the Surgeon General.

What thoughts do you have about parents using kids as influencers on social media? What thoughts do you have about the affects of social media on our youth?

Why not call 911?

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I had to share these lovely blooms in a planter in our backyard.

If you watch news, you probably heard about two employees at Lululemon who were fired for calling 911 when a robbery occurred. They also recorded the thieves in action on their phones.

Jennifer Ferguson and Rachel Rogers told local outlets they reached out to authorities after a group of robbers came to their store in Peachtree Corners, despite company policy that says employees should not intervene in robberies. 

“We didn’t really feel very protected or know what else to do,” Rogers told local TV station 11Alive.

“We are not supposed to get in the way,” Ferguson told the outlet. “You kind of clear path for whatever they’re going to do. And then, after it’s over, you scan a QR code. And that’s that. We’ve been told not to put it in any notes, because that might scare other people. We’re not supposed to call the police, not really supposed to talk about it.” 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/former-lululemon-employees-say-they-were-fired-for-breaking-store-policy-after-calling-police-to-report-a-robbery/ar-AA1bMqry

I learned that this was the fourth or fifth robbery at that store by the same men.

Both my son and daughter have worked retail, my daughter at Lululemon in Scottsdale during a Christmas season. My son worked for the now defunct American Apparel while a student at UC Santa Barbara. When he moved to the Bay Area he transferred to the store outside Chinatown.

The manager who approved my son’s transfer was gone when he showed up. Nobody knew that he was supposed to be employed there. A massive robbery occurred one night after the store was closed and they lost $50,000 in denim. The alarm never went off and the manager, who hired my son, was fired.

Then my son was robbed while he worked there. The policy was not to interfere with the criminals for employees’ safety. I heard about this much later because it was one of those “Don’t tell Mom” events.

Yes, I was terrified when I found out about it. I’m thankful my kids have moved on from retail in their careers.

It is said that theft in stores is a victimless crime.

What are your thoughts? Is shoplifting a victimless crime? Do you think employees should be allowed to call the police? What can be done about the current crime wave?

Birds are good for mental health

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A young cardinal stopped by again.

I have seen several articles the past few days about how listening to bird songs or watching birds is good for mental health. There’s been a number of studies from the US to Finland that back this up.

Maybe that’s why I’ve been in a good mood lately? It certainly doesn’t hurt to enjoy my Bird Buddy feeder with a camera or sit in the backyard and listen to birds.

My phone alerted me to a story about studies connecting better mental health to birds in the Washington Post. It’s behind a paywall so I didn’t read it. But I did read one by Desert News called “Being around birds can boost mental health, studies say” by Britney Heimuli.

Here’s an excerpt:

Two studies, published last year in Scientific Reports, named something that may improve mental well-being and reduce feelings of depression, anxiety and paranoia: being around birds.

The Washington Post said, “In one study, researchers asked about 1,300 participants to collect information about their environment and well-being three times a day using a smartphone app called Urban Mind.”

The Post said the data collected, which included other variants like sleep and air quality, showed seeing or hearing birds had a positive association with improved mental well-being in participants.

“Everyday encounters with birdlife were associated with time-lasting improvements in mental well-being. These improvements were evident not only in healthy people but also in those with a diagnosis of depression,” according to that report.

Another study the Post reported showed that, out of 295 online participants who were asked to self-assess their emotional state, those who were randomly assigned to listen to different kinds of bird songs reported reduced depressive symptoms and a decrease in feelings like anxiety and paranoia.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/being-around-birds-can-boost-mental-health-studies-say/ar-AA1bxaCw

A house sparrow.

Not the most attractive bird but a frequent visitor — a curve-bill thrasher. I wonder how he got his name? /s

It does make sense that connecting with birds helps our mental health. I think being outside in nature does that with or without birds.

In an article from Time Magazine called “Birdwatching Has Big Mental-Health Benefits” by Angela Haupt said:

Researchers have long sought to understand the perks of observing birds. A study published in October in Scientific Reports found that seeing or hearing birds improved people’s mental wellbeing for up to eight hours. Nearly 1,300 people used a smartphone app to log their mood several times a day, noting whether they could see or hear birds. People with depression, as well as those without a mental-health condition, experienced significant improvements in wellbeing when they had these encounters. The benefits weren’t explained by other environmental factors, like seeing trees, plants, or water, all of which the study controlled for.

https://time.com/6231886/birdwatching-mental-health/

My question is why? Why do birds help our mental health? Is it being outside? Is it some connection we have to birds? What are your thoughts?

A video of a house sparrow at our Bird Buddy.

A questionable delivery

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Recently I ordered mascara from Amazon. I rarely wear make-up, but last time I put on mascara I noticed it was drying out and was clumpy. Yuck.

When the package of Clinique mascara arrived, something looked off to me.

Here’s the packaging:

The mascara didn’t come in a box like it does when I buy it directly from a store. Maybe I should have gone to buy it in person? But we’re at least a thirty-minute drive to a department or makeup store. So I relied on Amazon.

Why wouldn’t it come in a box, I wondered? Once I unwrapped the plastic packaging, I found a plain old tube.

It’s been several years since I bought mascara. Maybe they quit their previous packaging and this tube was the new norm. I went to Clinique’s website to see if they still used boxes. The website didn’t have photos except for tubes of mascara. I bit the bullet and ordered another mascara directly from the source. I figured I’d learn how it was legitimately packaged, before I used the first one.

This is what arrived:

The box I remembered when I last bought mascara at a store. Yes, this is how it’s supposed to look. The box was wrapped in Clinique tissue paper.

So what’s up with the weird packaging of my first tube of mascara from Amazon? I’ve read about people stealing from stores and selling products on Amazon. I wondered why if a third party seller was reselling new makeup — wouldn’t it have the proper packaging? Or did someone lift the tube off a display or sample in a store? Or has it been used?

Yuck.

Do you have any idea why the packaging wasn’t how Clinique officially does it?

Is this fairly common? Do you think it was stolen goods or counterfeit?

Back in the Swim

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Palm Springs City Pool
Our old hometown pool at sunset.

On again, off again with swimming. Looking back through my old posts, I see I’ve been in this loop before. I try to be consistent with swimming, then something — mostly weather — gets me off track. This year it was called winter. Last two times I went lap swimming, I was cold the entire time. I felt it in my bones. Then I was up to Seattle and back home with COVID.

I wrote “Consistently Inconsistent” HERE. It’s one of many similar posts I’ve written since I began lap swimming and US Masters after my kids left for college. As a dedicated swim mom, I missed being around the pool and my swim friends. I dove in scared to death and learned to swim four strokes with my kids’ team, but at noon Master’s, which is for anyone over age 18.

My first practice, I was terrified and thought I’d sink halfway across the pool. I couldn’t breathe. I was about to have a panic attack when the coach assured me he wouldn’t let me drown. He gave me a drill called Six-Kick Switch. It evened my breathing, gave me something to focus on, helped my balance — and basically calmed me down. He told me to use that drill anytime in practice I needed. He also let me use fins, which is akin to training wheels. (You kick on your side, take a breath after six kicks while taking a stroke to switch sides and repeat.)

Later today, I’m back in the pool at the YMCA. I tried to go last week and as luck would have it, the pool was closed due to filter and pump issues. I’m feeling flutters in my stomach and a bit shaky. But I’ve got the tool of Six-Kick Switch. I’ll let you know how it goes.

What activities are you consistent with and which ones do you start and stop?