I’m not on Facebook that often. I used to be on it every day while my kids were growing up. But now I don’t think of it that often. I post my wildlife photos on Instagram and they automatically get posted to FB.
Anywho. I was surprised when my daughter texted me and asked why I had posted something about her pug Waffles on FB. I told her I didn’t. She said the post was getting comments including from my sister-in-law, moms from my kids’ grade school that I haven’t talked to since then. It was getting likes, hearts and hugs.
Next I got a phone call from my dad asking what in the heck was going on with Waffles.
“Nothing,” I said. “He turned 10 years old in August.”
My dad explained that he had seen a Facebook post and that Waffles was having emergency surgery.
Somehow this memory from 2021 was showing up in people’s feeds. I looked at my Facebook page and it wasn’t there.
Five years ago, Waffles had eaten a chunk of wood from a planter and it lodged in his small intestine. He had to have emergency surgery but is fine now except for getting older.
When Waffles was a pup.
Are you on Facebook and have you had an old memory pop up that people thought was current and commented on? If so, what was the post about?
How often do you use Facebook compared to years ago?
They almost had me. I was on Facebook for the Creative Women of Pinnacle Peak’s page. That’s the charity I volunteer for to help victims of sex trafficking. I’ve written about the group and our focus HERE and HERE.
I’m in charge of communications and publicity for our group. I’m promoting our annual fundraiser on Facebook as well as other places. I logged into FB and saw a notification that our page was going to be taken down due to copyright infringement. It was a message that looked legit from Meta. I panicked.
How could it be that a group of less than 30 women, who have been around for 30 years could violate FB rules? We are helping the community for pete’s sake! They provided a link to file a complaint and have our account reviewed. I clicked on the link.
Up came a box asking for my name, birthdate and password. I filled out my name and birthdate. I didn’t have the password, because I was given access to the page, but didn’t set it up. Then I thought about it. Why would they need that info?
I erased the info and began looking at help pages on FB to find out if this was legit or not. The first notification that our page would be deleted was from a person named Wojtek Brawo. I clicked on this person’s account and there was no info and no posts. Only a few friends. Then I googled the name to find out what country or nationality the person was from. I found this:
Wojtek was a Syrian brown bear adopted by soldiers of the 2nd Polish Corps during World War II. As a young cub, his mother was shot by hunters, and he was found in the mountains of Iran by a young boy. The boy then sold him to a group of Polish soldiers who were in the country after being evacuated from the Soviet Union. Wikipedia
I did report this person as a scammer. Then a second notification came under a different name with the same message. I reported that one to Facebook, too.
My husband has been close to falling for phishing scams. He gets texts that a package is arriving but he needs to click to update information. I tell him it’s a scam and tease him about not realizing it’s phishing.
Now I almost fell for one! In defense of myself, the scammers are getting better and better. Be careful and if something doesn’t feel right, don’t click. Don’t provide any personal information online!
What phishing scams have you seen in your inbox, texts or online?
FYI, if you missed my post Friday, please take a look HERE. I posted new hawk photos. I accidentally scheduled it for the wrong day. Corrected my mistake, but it didn’t appear in Reader.
This was the second post ever on my blog. I was looking through old posts and I thought this tale was worth retelling.
Robert’s asthma and allergy appointment — on his first day home from college for his four-week Christmas break — didn’t go well. The doctor said we could get rid of the cat or put Robert up in a hotel for four weeks.
We’ve only had baby Olive for a year. We’re not too attached, but still. She’s a member of our family. We rescued her from a local pet shelter and committed to be her loving family. And she’s Robert’s little sister’s cat. Not mine. I felt before we agreed to give Olive away, we needed to discuss this with little sis. Or, let Olive be an outdoor cat.
I heard that Robert had posted on FB for a new home for Olive. Of course, as his loving mother, I’m filtered from seeing his posts. Grandpa, on the other hand, has full access to Robert’s FB account. He told me about the long and lengthy post about how I love the cat more than my own son. Short and shorter: we needed to get rid of the cat. Several people had said yes to adopt the furry feline. Some even called me!
Am I a terrible mother for not wanting to give away our pretty little kitty, Olive Bear?
Robert said I’m infected with Toxoplasma gondii and I’m in danger of turning into a crazy cat lady. I “googled” the toxo thing. It’s different than cat scratch fever, which can cause chills and a fever. T. gondii is a protein that invades your bloodstream and makes women crazy about cats. Or, it makes men crazy in a wild way. And there’s a link to schizophrenia. It’s why my OB GYN told me not to change the litter box while I was pregnant. However, he said that if I’d been around cats my entire life, most likely I was already infected. Great.
I know about crazy cat ladies. We had one in my home town. She lived in a house filled with felines and feces. Hundreds of cats. My parents drove me to her house out in the country a few miles from town. The home badly needed paint and had broken floorboards with cats leaping in and out of the foundation. We picked an adorable calico kitten named Pansy to bring home. Pansy died a few weeks later from feline pneumonitis.
I never had good luck with cats. I can name the ones we owned when I was young: Ting, Tack, Tenni-runner, No Name, Thomasina I, Thomasina II, Little Leticia, Bianco (white in Italian), Striscia (stripe in Italian), and my favorite, OJ Simpson. (I was a huge OJ fan. Remember, this was decades before I quit being one.)
We lost these cats (in addition to the aforementioned Pansy) by the time I reached first grade, due to an overzealous cat-hater neighbor. He caught them in a wooden trap, dropped them in a gunnysack, then tossed them in the river.
When we moved out into the country I had Soute´ (a French word from ballet that means jump) from second grade through high school. Coyotes and bears were kinder animals to our kitty than our former neighbor in town.
We adopted Sherman years before we had kids. That allergy doctor told me for years to get rid of Sherman. Robert was allergic to lots more things than cats. Things I couldn’t control, like rye grass and trees. Sherman lived from 1992 for 17 years — until a neighbor’s dog jumped a wall and killed him.
I know it’s terrible not to want to get rid of the cat. I never believed that our cat could be harmful to my child. Now, my son is living in beautiful Santa Barbara, going to college. He’s only home for visits. Or maybe it is the toxoplasmosis that let’s me rationalize all this.
Olive letting her temper show. Once my daughter left for college, Olive became mine. We found a solution to the allergy problem called an air purifier for our son’s room.
Looking back, was I bad mom for wanting to keep the Olive the cat?
What is the topic of your second post on your blog?
My daughter shared an article with me that she thought I’d find interesting for my blog. It’s from Teen Vogue — which she said is not behind a paywall — and has more interesting articles than fashion like “What’s hot for summer.”
In “Influencer Parents and The Kids Who Had Their Childhood Made Into Content” by FORTESA LATIFI, I learned about parents who cashed in on their kids on social media.
Here’s an excerpt:
Claire, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, has never known a life that doesn’t include a camera being pointed in her direction. The first time she went viral, she was a toddler. When the family’s channel started to rake in the views, Claire says both her parents left their jobs because the revenue from the YouTube channel was enough to support the family and to land them a nicer house and new car. “That’s not fair that I have to support everyone,” she said. “I try not to be resentful but I kind of [am].” Once, she told her dad she didn’t want to do YouTube videos anymore and he told her they would have to move out of their house and her parents would have to go back to work, leaving no money for “nice things.”
When the family is together, the YouTube channel is what they talk about. Claire says her father has told her he may be her father, but he’s also her boss. “It’s a lot of pressure,” she said. When Claire turns 18 and can move out on her own, she’s considering going no-contact with her parents. Once she doesn’t live with them anymore, she plans to speak out publicly about being the star of a YouTube channel. She’ll even use her real name. Claire wants people to know how her childhood was overshadowed by social media stardom that she didn’t choose. And she wants her parents to know: “nothing they do now is going to take back the years of work I had to put in.”
It would be easy to judge these parents as monsters. But, I am thankful Instagram and TikTok did NOT exist when my kids were young. Wait, I’ll retract my statement and call it exploitation of children. I guess that’s being judgmental, right?
I had Facebook when my kids were growing up and my pages were an embarrassing brag-site of my amazing, marvelous kids! It’s nauseating to look back on.
As my daughter got older, her friends would bully or tease her about awkward tween years’ photos I posted. She asked me to NOT post anything about her without permission. I mostly followed her wishes. Maybe slipping up a few times.
Although I look negatively at parents who use their children as cash cows, like I said, I’m glad it wasn’t something I had an option to do. Unlike TV and movie parents, there are no protections for kids who are content on their parents’ social media sites. The article goes into detail about how contracts with TV and movies have protections for children and they get money put into a trust.
By the way, I also didn’t think it was right for swim parents to put pressure on their swim kids to earn college scholarships. I had a weekly column about swim parenting HERE. Too much pressure, period. However, if a scholarship did happen, that’s icing on the cake of all the valuable lessons and friendships gained through sports.
I look at the harm social media has done to our kids who grew up with it. Suicide, depression, anxiety and eating disorders are running rampant. I wonder how these teens are doing who were used as influencers since toddlerhood?
I have a weekly zoom call where we talk about all sorts of current subjects. We are a variety of ages, religions and a spectrum of political persuasions. One of the topics we’ll talk about next week is social media and our youth. Here’s A LINK to a Surgeon General’s Advisory from the Department of Health and Human Services that I received from the group yesterday. In the article is a pdf from the Surgeon General.
What thoughts do you have about parents using kids as influencers on social media? What thoughts do you have about the affects of social media on our youth?
My kids at the beach with Angus our best dog ever.
My kids are three years apart in age. They had different experiences with social media growing up. I think “My Space” appeared when my son was in junior high and he didn’t have a smart phone. Kids in his class got in trouble for bullying and posting content that wasn’t considered appropriate.
If I remember correctly, my son got his first iphone for high school graduation. Facebook, My Space and whatever else was popular back then wasn’t a significant part of his life.
My daughter on the other hand had friends with iphones as early as third grade. I think we held off until she was 13 or 14.
At the pool, whether it was swim practice or meets, before the advent of smart phones, the kids would all hang out together under pop-up tents and play word games, cards or Catchphrase. The high school kids would play alongside the middle and elementary school-aged kids. I loved that about swim team.
By the time my daughter was in high school, everyone sat like robots on their iphones. There was bullying going on between teammates sitting yards apart. Nobody talked or laughed like they used to.
Now I’m seeing reports from the CDC, prestigious medical centers and doctors that social media is harmful to kids under a certain age. Although most social media sites restrict use to kids under 13 — it’s a well known fact that 10 year-olds are using social media sites.
Here’s an excerpt from an article called Protecting kids from social media’s harms by Stephanie Whiteside:
(NewsNation) – How young is too young for social media?
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy is saying 13 years old is too young for social media accounts. Under U.S. law, sites that allow those under 13 to create accounts have to abide by stricter policies around data collection and privacy.
Research has shown social media can be harmful to kids and teens who are still developing their identities, damaging mental health and even impacting brain development.
Legislation is being considered that would ban social media use for those under 16 years old. It’s much like banning the purchase of alcohol and cigarettes to under 18 or 21.
What are your thoughts about legislation and social media? Should it be up to individual parents? Or would it help to make social media against the law for younger than 16?
One month ago I gave up Facebook. I wrote about that HERE.
How has it been?
I haven’t missed it at all. I didn’t delete FB altogether. They have an option where you can take it down, but not delete it. People can’t find my page. I can’t look at what others are doing.
If I decide some day to reinstate my account, I can. But so far, I’m happy without it.
I looked back to October 2020 on my blog. Fall of 2020 we sold our house of 28 years in four hours and had 30 days to find a house in Arizona to move into. I took a break from Facebook then, too and I wrote about it HERE.
When my kids were younger, I loved Facebook. I used to post photos of them all the time. It was my brag page about how amazing and wonderful my kids are. They both got sick of my antics and I was told to never post photos of them without their permission. I am thankful Facebook didn’t exist when the were in elementary school! I would have been truly unbearable.
At first, I used FB for getting in touch with relatives and old friends I hadn’t talked to since high school. I guess when the novelty wore off, it was like “eh, whatever.” I did get back in touch with some old friends and we reunited in person.
Have you given up on social media? What social media do you use?
We drove five and a half hours to a wedding Friday. If it wasn’t for my dear friend’s daughter, I don’t think we would have made the trip after driving nine hours home from vacation the weekend before. But we did it. Yes! I’m tired!
I wore a bright print dress in blue, green and white. When we first walked into the wedding crowd, I spotted a woman wearing the same dress! I waved to her and she walked over and we laughed.
“You know it’s reversible,” she said.
I had never met this person before. She is related to the groom and I am friends with the bride’s family.
We were interrupted by our husbands who informed us it was time to take a seat for the ceremony.
The wedding was lovely. It was held outside near San Diego at Mt. Woodson’s Castle — a stone mansion built in the 1920s that’s now a wedding venue.
After the ceremony, I bolted to the bathroom and flipped my dress inside out. Now I was wearing black with white polkadots!
I saw my new friend and she said “You didn’t have to do that!” I asked my husband to take a picture of us. I wanted to share it with a high school friend who sold me the dress. I thought she’d get a kick out of how the reversible dress came to the rescue.
I posted the picture on Instagram and tagged her. It automatically posted on facebook.
One of my other high school friends commented on my pic in a very suggestive way. It was creepy. It made me want to take the photo down. Then I thought, I rarely use facebook, I’m reading all sorts of negative things about facebook in the news. Let’s be done with it!
That’s why I deactivated my account.
It’s not deleted. I can restart it any time. The only reason why I would do that is for the years and years of photos that are housed there. I may want to download them. Then delete it for good.
