Category Archives: anxiety

A parenting tip from Ireland

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A photo from the river at Graignamanagh that I took during our trip to Ireland years ago.

Here’s an interesting bit of news:

Parents in a town in Ireland came together to voluntarily ban smartphones for kids as old as 13 by Zoe Rosenberg in a publication called Insider.

I think this is an excellent idea and if I could go back in time, I’d have waited to give our daughter an iphone. We did wait with our son because he was three years older — and smart phones weren’t a thing yet.

But by the time my daughter was in third or fourth grade, a few of her friends were using smartphones. I remember changes at swim meets — before and after smartphones. When the kids were young and nobody had phones, the high school kids played card games with the little ones. They also played “Catch Phrase” and made up word games.

When my daughter was in high school, the middle school and high school kids were no longer talking or laughing. They sat, staring at their screens. I found out later that a lot bullying was going on between the girls — sitting a few feet apart — on their phones.

Here’s an excerpt from the story:

  • Parents in Greystones, Ireland, have implemented a smartphone ban for primary school-aged kids.
  • The ban is voluntary, but parents said it reached a critical mass that makes enacting it easier.
  • The pact seeks to curb anxiety and exposure to unsuitable material, and has won support nationally.

Some kids in Greystones, Ireland, may have to wait until their teen years to partake in the latest viral dance craze, thanks to a voluntary ban on smartphones that has won the support of many area parents.

The Guardian reported that parents in the coastal town, about a 45-minute drive south of Dublin, have joined together to implement the ban that seeks to bar smartphone usage until kids reach secondary school, typically at the age of 12 or 13.

The hope is that the ban will help prolong childhood by lessening the anxiety and exposure to adult materials that smartphone usage often eggs on. 

https://www.businessinsider.com/voluntary-smartphone-ban-for-kids-ireland-town-greystones-2023-6?op=1

Not only has smartphone use in toddlers and children been linked to slower brain development, it also has increased anxiety and depression in teens. Not all parents are for the ban, and they aren’t required to follow it. But a large enough population of parents support it to make it effective. I guess parents don’t like to be the “odd one out.”

I think my kids would tell you that I had no problem being strict and saying no. But when it came to the iphone, I had no idea that it was harmful. It was fairly new for kids to have, and it seemed perfect to communicate with them. We started off with Tracphones with no smart features and prepaid minutes when they went to swim camp at USC. Eventually, they got their iphones.

I wrote about families in the Silicon Valley who ban screens for their kids. They are working for the tech companies, and I felt they must know something that we weren’t aware of. You can read that story HERE.

What are your thoughts about bans on smartphones for children?

Vacation with a twist

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My son and his girlfriend last summer at the beach near Santa Barbara where we”ll be on vacation soon.

What a whirlwind week or two.

We had two health scares in one week. One was my daughter who had a reaction to general anesthesia and almost stopped breathing. The other was my son’s girlfriend — who I don’t know the outcome of a biopsy yet, but needless to say we’re all scared.

My son was so shaken up they decided to move up their wedding date from August 2024 to next week! If she needs surgery, he wants to be officially married and by her side.

I’m experiencing intense joy mixed with fear and praying that everything will be okay. They’ve been together for ten years, so we believed marriage would someday be in their future — just not in a couple days. They are devoted to each other and there’s an abundance of love between them.

We’ll be leaving our vacation for our first child’s wedding to celebrate their day.

A shout out to The World’s Common Tater for his post earlier this week called You Take the Good, You Take the Bad. He gave me the courage to write this post.

When have you experienced the good and bad at the same time?

One of my favorite photos of my son taken years ago by his girlfriend and soon to be wife!

Below: Palm Springs at the entrance of our home during Spring Break while they were in college.

The bite

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Waffles, my daughter's pug, at the Utes pool.
Waffles, my daughter’s pug, made it on “We Rate Dogs” a popular “pupper” site on Twitter and Instagram. Waffles got 13 out of perfect 10 rating — and more than 75k likes for this photo taken by someone on my daughter’s college team.

The photo above is Waffles the pug. No he doesn’t bite. His snaggle teeth weren’t built to do that. This is a story about another dog from a morning walk last week.

We headed out the door around 5ish a.m. The sun rises after 5:30, but the sky glows pink and gray, waiting for the intense sun to peak over the horizon.

At this early time, we see a few dog walkers in the neighborhood. One is a petite blond lady with a pit bull named Star. We’ve known Star since she was a puppy about a year and a half ago. She’d lay down submissively so we’d come over to her for a pat. Often, she’d roll on her back so she’d get a belly rub from my husband.

I’m not a pit bull fan. As Star grew older, the owner kept to her side of the street. Often Star would lunge, growl and snarl at us. The owner apologized and didn’t know what to make of the new attitude.

I said, “Maybe Star is getting older and more protective?”

Sometimes, she’d say, “Star wants to come say hi.” She’d walk Star over to us with different results. Sometimes Star was good. Other times she’d start sweet and then snap.

From then on (several months ago) we gave up on communicating with Star.

Last week, we spotted the woman across the street. Star laid down. The owner said something to us from across the street. My husband couldn’t hear what she said. I kept walking away from Star at a brisk pace.

My husband walked towards Star and the woman, but stopped six to eight feet away to not invade Star’s space. Star was on a thick leather leash, held by the woman.

The woman was chit chatting about how hot it was and how we have to get out early to walk.

Then Star, without warning or provocation, lunged, snarling from the ground at my husband and bit his hand. The woman didn’t have the strength to pull Star back.

Fortunately, my husband jumped away with only a puncture wound. When he caught up to me his hand was dripping blood. “If I didn’t move away, I would have lost my hand,” he said. “What was really strange is she didn’t say anything to the dog. Not bad dog! or anything!”

I reported the dog bite to the HOA board but didn’t hear back immediately. I wanted to let other families in our neighborhood be aware.

We looked up dog bites on our County website and my husband decided to file a complaint. He had a picture of his hand, the dog bite broke through skin, which were requirements. We don’t want to get the neighbor upset, but we worry about what could happen. Especially because most the people in our neighborhood are older. They might not get away as quickly — or even worse get knocked down.

The dog will be under house arrest for 10 days and tested for rabies. Other than that, I don’t think anything will happen to Star. We may have made an enemy in Star’s owner, but hopefully saved other people. Since reporting, we have heard that someone two houses away from the pit bull was bitten, too.

What would you have done in our place? Would you report the dog and/or ask the HOA board for restriction of some kind? How do you think the owner should corrected Star?

Two Highly Recommended Reads

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Two books I read recently were “Finding My Father’s Faith” by Wynne Leon and “Surviving Sue” by Dr. Vicki Atkinson.

You may know Vicki and Wynne from The Heart of the Matter blog. They both have personal blogs: Victoria Ponders and Wynne’s Surprised by Joy.

Both books are autobiographies which include memories of their childhood through adulthood with one of their parents in the starring role. The books are well-written, compelling and I gained so much insight into these two women.

Wynne’s book is a much happier story than Vicki’s. Wynne’s strength and independence shines through and she doesn’t shy away from taking charge of her life. From running a high tech business, climbing mountains around the world and raising her children, I gained a huge amount of respect for Wynne.

Also, I got to know her father through his stories of ministry and living in India. I was impressed that throughout his journeys, he learned about other people’s lives and religions and wasn’t there to tell others how or what they should believe.

Another thing I found interesting was my parents met at the University Presbyterian Church and at Calvin Club, just like Wynne’s parents. It might have been around the same time. They might have met! Also, I attended her father’s church as a child visiting friends who were part of the congregation.

As for “Surviving Sue,” I began to read the book with trepidation, having grown up with parents with similar issues — mental illness and alcoholism. I wasn’t sure I would be able to read it, but then with Sue’s (Vicki’s mom) unbelievable behavior striking out at Vicki, blaming her for all her own self-inflicted problems and isolating Vicki from family members, a light went off in my head. I realized my parents loved us. My parents were never mean to us.

Vicki’s story has kind supporting characters including her father, husband, daughter and a sister who is mentally disabled. Vicki’s love and kindness is visible throughout.

Through Vicki’s tale and Wynn’s, I realized they both are women of strong character, grit and in command of their lives. Neither one would ever play the role of victim.

What books can you highly recommend? What are your reading now?

I was honored to be invited on a podcast with Vicki and Wynne at The Heart of the Matter. Here’s LINK.

Backyard beach adventure

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My daughter and me in the backyard of a house we used to rent in Laguna Beach.

We rented a house in Laguna Beach to escape the high temperatures of Palm Springs in the summertime. We rented with another family from Memorial weekend to Labor day, splitting the summer in half.

The family who owned the house were school teachers. They took off to Alaska each summer as rangers.

I was worried the first time I visited the house. The backyard dropped off into a canyon. There were railroad ties between the lawn and a cliff. Having a two-year old son, I was worried the yard was too dangerous.

The owner laughed and said she raised three boys in that house and there was never an issue.

Me and my son at the beach in Laguna.

I’ll never forget the first time we rented the house. We told our son we were going to the beach. He grabbed a shovel and bucket and said, “Let’s go!” He was headed to the edge of the lawn and railroad ties, where there was a view of the ocean.

“No!” I stopped him. “We have to drive to the beach.”

Later that summer, I couldn’t find the T.V. remote control. My husband worked in Palm Springs during the weekdays and I was alone with my son except for weekends.

I was six months pregnant with my daughter at the time.

“It’s down there!” my son said pointing to the cliff dropping to the canyon.

“What?” I asked.

“I threw it down there,” my son said, pointing.

I strapped him in his stroller before I ventured into the canyon. I made my way over the railroad ties, clinging onto shrubs for dear life, as I scrambled along the steep incline. Needless to say I was a wreck by the time I made it back up the steep cliff into the backyard. No, I didn’t find the remote.

My son seemed fascinated watching me from the safety of his stroller.

I pushed my son in his stroller into the house, unbuckled him and collapsed on the sofa.

My son joined me on the sofa and fetched the remote control from under a throw pillow.

“Here it is!” he said.

My kids at the Laguna Beach house, sitting on the hearth wearing sofa arm protectors as hats.

To this day, I have no clue why my son told me he threw the remote control into the canyon. I’m sure he was entertained watching me as I held onto branches and bushes to not tumble down the cliff.

What unexpected things have your kids done to make your life exciting?

How much would you pay for hot sauce?

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This one caught me by surprise. I read yesterday that people are paying up to $120 on ebay for Sriracha sauce. Some are getting a deal at $70.

From CNN Business, yesterday:

Sriracha sauce is selling for as much as $120 amid prolonged shortage

Story by Jordan Valinsky 

The prolonged shortage of a certain red sauce is making the black market go wild.

Prices of Sriracha sauce are as high as $70 on eBay as people look to snap up the spicy sauce — and they’re even steeper on Amazon, up to $124. Huy Fong Foods, which makes the rooster-adorned bottled sauce, has been dealing with a years-long shortage of the chilis, which is hurting production and causing some shortages.

A search on eBay shows prices for various sized bottles ranging from $39.98 for 17-ounce bottles to a 28-ounce bottle for nearly $70. In both instances, shipping is an additional fee, jacking up the price even more.

Prices are even higher on Amazon, where one seller is offering a 2-pack for $124. Of course, it’s unclear if anyone is actually paying these exorbitant prices, considering a 17-ounce bottle typically costs around $5.

The company recently told CNN that it’s still experiencing a shortage of raw materials. “Although some production did resume this past fall season, we continue to have a limited supply that continues to affect our production. At this time, we have no estimations of when supply will increase,” a Huy Fong spokesperson said.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/sriracha-sauce-is-selling-for-as-much-as-120-amid-prolonged-shortage/ar-AA1dddgy

The story of David Tran, founder of Sriracha Sauce in Irwindale, Calif. is one of success by an immigrant. Not to say he hasn’t had his troubles.

I remember reading about neighbors complaining about the smells coming from his factory and he being at odds with the City Council.

From NPR in 2014:

Sriracha hot sauce-maker Huy Fong Foods has been tussling with the City Council of Irwindale, Calif., near Los Angeles for months now over whether the factory’s spicy smells harm its neighbors. There have been legal action and suggested fixes, but also pleas from other cities for the company to consider moving there.

David Tran, the CEO of Huy Fong, says he escaped from Vietnam almost 35 years ago to be free of the communist government there and its many intrusions.

“Today, I feel almost the same. Even now, we live in [the] U.S.A., and my feeling, the government, not a big difference,” Tran says.

Irwindale’s city attorney, Fred Galante, says the city loves having the cult condiment factory but must pay attention to the health of residents.

“It’s difficult to tell a resident that suffers from asthma or their child that suffers from asthma, ‘Sorry, we do not want to be considered business-unfriendly; just keep your child indoors,’ ” Galante says.

It’s a tough call, because Sriracha is a glamorous commodity. Bon Appetit named it one of its favorite foods last year. Chiliheads began to hoard it when it looked like Huy Fong might be forced to stop making it.

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/05/12/311719864/sriracha-maker-says-factory-will-remain-in-california

The other day my husband asked me to buy some sort of Clorox stick to get out stains on something white. I looked at the store and couldn’t find any. He looked online and a single stick was $65.

Then he went to the pharmacy to pick up an Rx and was told it was on backorder. They expect it in September. Of course, he didn’t take that as an answer, but shopped around other pharmacies to find it in stock — sometime soon.

Something is drastically wrong here.

What do you think is going on?

Ready, Set, Go!

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View of the fire in North Scottsdale from our backyard Tuesday night.

We came back from our swim Tuesday afternoon and I smelled smoke. An hour later plumes of smoke were in the air. It looked too close for comfort. Called the Diamond Fire, I was getting notifications on my iphone of a fire that started at 5:15 p.m. and roughly 1,000 people had been evacuated.

From what I could tell it was 20 miles away from us. We weren’t in any danger but I decided to pack things in case we were told to evacuate.

What did I pack? Paperwork like the title to our house, some cash, cat food, cat carrier, my flute, music, underwear, socks, tennis shoes and a few shorts and t-shirts. My husband hosed down our pergola, which is the wooden structure in our back yard over the pool bar.

As we texted neighbors, we discovered we weren’t in any danger, but I realized I do need to organize a “Go Kit” in case of emergency.

I saw this on Twitter from the Scottsdale Fire Department. It’s a good reminder:

Today, I’m going to scan our important documents, so I’ll have them on my laptop — and I’m going to back them up. Then I’m going to put together a more organized Go Kit than the one I threw together last evening.

Living in So Cal for decades, I had an earthquake kit. Now I need a “Go Kit” in case of fire or floods.

What type of preparedness plans or kits do you have? What type of emergencies affect your area?