Tag Archives: marriage

Happy Anniversary!

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My husband has been fighting this bunny because it eats our plants. But every afternoon bunny crawls under the chicken wire into the pot and munches away.

Yesterday was our 39th wedding anniversary. Really! I must have gotten married as a 10 year old.

For our outings together, we’ve been hanging out at doctors offices. I guess that’s to be expected after decades of marriage. It’s no longer spur-of-the-moment camping trips at the beach, or heading up to the mountains for a day of skiing.

Nope. My husband had cataract surgeries and the last few weeks I’ve been driving him to appointments and sitting in waiting rooms with a book. He did the same for me a few years ago when it was my turn for cataract surgery.

We had eight years of marriage before kids. Some of my earliest memories of life together were searching the sofa and our pockets for spare change. When we’d find a dollar, we’d buy three-for-one tacos at Jack in the Box. I ate Top Ramen every day for lunch. But those were fun days.

Then there were the busy days of raising kids. My husband was a super involved dad because he grew up without one. I’m not sure if our kids appreciated that or not. Then the kids grew up and started their adult lives. I’m grateful for how close we are with them. I love getting calls for no reason, but to chat while they’re out for walks.

These past years, our main activity together is our early morning hour-long walk (He’s been going alone because of my broken toes.) I can’t wait to get back to walking with him every day. It’s a quieter time in our marriage, but I love my husband as much or more than day one.

wedding photo
Thirty-nine years ago.

Here’s to 39 more years and happy memories!

What changes do you see in your marriage or relationship through the years?

Vacation with a twist

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My son and his girlfriend last summer at the beach near Santa Barbara where we”ll be on vacation soon.

What a whirlwind week or two.

We had two health scares in one week. One was my daughter who had a reaction to general anesthesia and almost stopped breathing. The other was my son’s girlfriend — who I don’t know the outcome of a biopsy yet, but needless to say we’re all scared.

My son was so shaken up they decided to move up their wedding date from August 2024 to next week! If she needs surgery, he wants to be officially married and by her side.

I’m experiencing intense joy mixed with fear and praying that everything will be okay. They’ve been together for ten years, so we believed marriage would someday be in their future — just not in a couple days. They are devoted to each other and there’s an abundance of love between them.

We’ll be leaving our vacation for our first child’s wedding to celebrate their day.

A shout out to The World’s Common Tater for his post earlier this week called You Take the Good, You Take the Bad. He gave me the courage to write this post.

When have you experienced the good and bad at the same time?

One of my favorite photos of my son taken years ago by his girlfriend and soon to be wife!

Below: Palm Springs at the entrance of our home during Spring Break while they were in college.

Time keeps on slipping

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July 14, 1985 in Laguna Beach. My hubby’s Aunt Ann and Uncle Luciano are next to us.

I am in disbelief that I’ve been married for 38 years. Where did the time go?

We were together for two years before marriage, so that makes it 40 years! Of course, you have to believe that I was a child bride to make this a possibility.

Thirty-eight years ago, we lived in a small apartment. Four units around a pool. My view out the kitchen window was an empty lot of dirt. No spectacular views. We’d see a shadow of the landlord walking by our drawn curtains at night, carrying a shot gun. She made her rounds each night.

We knew all our neighbors. I was asked to be a bridesmaid by the next door neighbor. She was a close friend at that time. Her fiancee left her at the altar and she eventually moved away. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.

It took us a few years to buy our first house. Then five more until we moved into the house that was home for 28 years. The first year we lived in our Palm Springs dream home, our son was born. Three years later, our daughter. Now they’re grown and we’re in Arizona — living our next adventure on our own.

It’s been a wonderful 38 years. I feel blessed.

I can’t help thinking of the song “Time Keeps on Slipping” by the Steve Miller Band.

Do you find that as you get older time goes by faster? Why do you think that is?

I was stunned!

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desert yard with cactus and clouds
Back home in the desert after our beach vacation.

My first morning home. I am annoyed.

Not because I’m home, but because of what showed up in our huge stack of mail.

A letter from my husband’s employer that said we need to verify our marriage or I’d be dropped from health insurance.

I was stunned, I tell you, stunned.

We celebrated 37 years of marriage this summer. THIRTY SEVEN!

I spent a good hour gathering requested documents. Scanning and printing said documents. They want them faxed.

Requested documents included a certificate of marriage and tax returns, bank or mortgage statement.

What ticked me off is I am a former employee of this firm. They have everything about me. ALSO, we have a number of bank and investment accounts AND mortgages with this company.

When we filled out mortgage applications, we provided all the requested documents including tax returns and bank statements. They have our information.

How can I NOT be verified as a spouse?

Of course, I am providing all the information. I’m just annoyed that I have to do it. We live in a world where everything is compartmentalized and computerized. The personal touch is gone in much of our lives. We’re a number. Gone are the days of my childhood where we all knew each other.

I guess this is a reality check that my vacation is indeed over. Back to real life.

What has annoyed you this past week? Or have you had a great week without minor inconveniences?

Mourning the good old days

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Coit Tower with kids
Last year we were climbing Coit Tower together on a trip to visit our kids.

I’ve learned that our adult children no longer hold things of value that we do. It’s distressed me to learn that the years I spent raising my kids that I view as some of the best — they don’t view the same way.

The values I worked to instill in my kids — they don’t value.

I’m talking Family. Marriage. Home ownership. Religion.

How did we go wrong? Did I spoil them? Was I too strict? Was I too lenient? Did we empathize the wrong things?

Should I be thankful they have separated from us and are their own people with their own ideals? That they are adults with their own opinions? Or, should I be hurt that they find our traditional values to be worthless. Right now I’m feeling a mix of emotions.

All I want for them is to be happy and hopeful.They do believe in some of the things we tried to teach them. Honesty. Hard work. Perseverance. Those things stuck. Don’t get me wrong. We still can spend time together, talk and have good conversations. I’m just feeling sad that everything I want for them they don’t care about.

Do your kids value the same things you do? What do you want for your children’s futures? At what point did your kids break away from you politically, religiously or in other ways?