Monthly Archives: September 2022

I was stunned!

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desert yard with cactus and clouds
Back home in the desert after our beach vacation.

My first morning home. I am annoyed.

Not because I’m home, but because of what showed up in our huge stack of mail.

A letter from my husband’s employer that said we need to verify our marriage or I’d be dropped from health insurance.

I was stunned, I tell you, stunned.

We celebrated 37 years of marriage this summer. THIRTY SEVEN!

I spent a good hour gathering requested documents. Scanning and printing said documents. They want them faxed.

Requested documents included a certificate of marriage and tax returns, bank or mortgage statement.

What ticked me off is I am a former employee of this firm. They have everything about me. ALSO, we have a number of bank and investment accounts AND mortgages with this company.

When we filled out mortgage applications, we provided all the requested documents including tax returns and bank statements. They have our information.

How can I NOT be verified as a spouse?

Of course, I am providing all the information. I’m just annoyed that I have to do it. We live in a world where everything is compartmentalized and computerized. The personal touch is gone in much of our lives. We’re a number. Gone are the days of my childhood where we all knew each other.

I guess this is a reality check that my vacation is indeed over. Back to real life.

What has annoyed you this past week? Or have you had a great week without minor inconveniences?

The routine

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diving off the blocks at a college meet.
My daughter off the blocks at a college duel meet. She’s the one with the pointed toes.

My daughter had a job interview yesterday. She called me afterwards. She brought up a compelling point. They asked her how she handles stress or pressure on the job.

“I go to a private place, take a deep breath and shake it out. Then the anxiety leaves and I can prioritize what needs to be done,” she said.

She told me that was exactly what she did before the interview. She followed her pre-race routine. I’ve seen it a million times. She would stand behind the blocks, shake out her right arm, her left arm. Put her right leg on the blocks and stretch, repeat with the left leg.”

I remembered taking golf lessons when my kids were toddlers. My golf pro established a pre-hit routine for me. Each time I “addressed the ball” I would take two baseball swings with my golf club to loosen up. I’d take a deep breath and stand over the ball.

If you watch swimming, golf, or other sports — you’ll notice most athletes have a routine before they move. It frees their mind from thinking. It’s a signal to put their game face on and react physically, letting go of negative thoughts or any thoughts at all.

Six or seven years ago, I read “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron, former wife of Martin Scorsese. She preached about morning routines. I began morning pages back then and have stuck with the routine. When I wake up, I reach for a journal and write three pages of whatever is on my mind. It can be a to do list, about my dreams, my prior day or anything that jumps into my brain. It releases anxiety and clears my head for more creativity.

Also, my morning routine includes prayer and a walk.

I feel centered and grounded and ready to carry on for the rest of the day.

What routines do you have in your life? What benefits do you see?

Ocean view condos!

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The condo development at the beach below our Vrbo has grown this year.

The past few years, we’ve been fascinated with a driftwood art installation at the beach. We first noticed it four or five years ago. I wrote about condos at the beach last summer HERE.

This summer, the person who is working on what we call the “beach condos” has added more people, creatures and signs. We’ve never seen anyone working on it. But it keeps growing and getting more interesting. I’d love to know who is creating this. I am picturing an aging hippie with long white hair.

Here are random photos I took yesterday morning:

driftwood character at the beach
One of the many driftwood people at the beach.
cartwheeling driftwood
Looks like he’s doing a cartwheel
Summerland beach club
Summerland Semi Social Club sign
driftwood dogs
Driftwood dogs.
driftwood person
Another character at the beach.
Please remove your shoes.
“Please remove your shoes” makes me laugh.The other sign reads” Please leave it as you found it.”
dancing driftwood
These guys look like they’re dancing.
driftwood person
The artist is obviously having fun.
pirate driftwood
Ahoy! A pirate.
Video overview of the beach condos.

Have you encountered anything like this at the beach or anywhere else? Which person or creature is your favorite?

A sign things are “normal”

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backyard downtown Palm Springs
Our old backyard in Palm Springs with a view of Mt. San Jacinto

When we lived in Palm Springs, Calif. which is one of the hottest spots in our nation — next to Death Valley — we used movies as an escape from the heat. It didn’t matter what was playing, we’d find something we were mildly interested in. It got us out of the house where we spent most days.

Then COVID hit and movie theaters were closed. I missed movies a lot. I loved the smell of popcorn when you walk through the theater doors. I loved the few hours sitting in the dark, watching the big screen with unbelievable sound.

I remember writing during the shutdown that the first thing I wanted to do when things reopened was go to the movies.

Fast forward to September 2022 — and we hadn’t been yet. The reason why? I was uncomfortable sitting in the theater with a bunch of strangers. Once we moved, the theater was a 30-minute drive, not a few blocks. The Phoenix area has 6 million people, rather than the 48,000 of Palm Springs. Whenever I looked online, the theaters were full.

Labor Day was packed at the beach. We went early and left when floods of people set up their umbrellas and chairs. We came up with the brilliant idea of going to the movies!

We saw Top Gun. I loved every minute of it. I felt like it was a milestone of getting back to “normal.”

What was first on your list to do post shutdown?

Magic at the Beach

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Beach at Padaro Lane
Labor Day walk at the beach. We go early to beat the crowds.

Every single day we observe dolphins. At first, it was one or two. Then it became three and four. Now I walk a quarter mile with dolphins leaping, playing, cruising up and down the beach. I can’t imagine how many are in pods that stretch the length of my walk.

Every single day I try to get a video. They don’t do the dolphin magic justice. That is what they are to me. Magic. Or is it spiritual?

My husband was out catching waves with our son’s girlfriend. They both told me how they were out beyond the waves and a dolphin leaped out of the water right before their eyes. It’s mesmerizing.

I can spend hours starting at dolphins. I feel peaceful and in awe.

Here are four fun facts about dolphins from the Monterey Bay Aquarium followed by one fact from the Dolphin Project:

  • Bottlenose dolphins in Shark Bay, Australia learned to wear sponges over their beaks while foraging among sharp coral — the only known case of cetacean tool use.
  • As is true for all cetaceans, a dolphin’s nostrils have shifted to the top of its head, becoming a blowhole that permits easy breathing at the water’s surface.
  • A bottlenose dolphin contains three times more blood than a human by body weight, increasing the dolphin’s oxygen-storage capacity during dives.
  • When asleep, a dolphin keeps half of its brain awake in order to keep breathing.
Image result for dolphin facts

Dolphins have very large brains– their brain to body size ratio is second only to our own! They also exhibit sophisticated forms of communication, tool use, cooperative feeding methods, culture and social learning, and play.

https://www.dolphinproject.com/resources/about-dolphins/dolphin-facts/

I keep taking videos of dolphins with my phone. As soon as I stop the video one or two leap into the air. The best one was filmed on Labor Day.

A pod of dolphins near Santa Barbara.

What magical or inspirations sights have you seen lately?

We’re having a heat wave!

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Showing off my new boogie board.

It’s hot. Hotter than at my home in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona and we are at the beach. It topped 104 degrees in Santa Barbara yesterday. The only cool place to be is in the ocean.

Taking the advice of fellow blogger of Living in the Gap, Cheryl Oreglia, I bought a boogie board. She didn’t say “buy a boogie board.” She asked if we’d done anything spontaneous lately. If you don’t follow her or read her blog, you’re missing out. She has her first book under contract that will be released in 2023. You can find out more from her latest posts.

I haven’t been in the ocean for several years. First it was my knee surgery from a ski accident. That was 2018 and I was sporting the heavy ACL brace you see on NFL players. Not a good thing for the ocean. Then I worried about waves and babied my knee the next year. The following year there were the Great White Sharks.

I watched my son’s girlfriend surf for hours every day while they visited. She inspired me. I remembered the days when I’d ask the lifeguards to watch my kids while I swam out to a buoy or did a bit of boogie boarding. Then I boogie boarded with my kids as they got older.

The other day, I was hot and I wandered into the ocean knee deep to cool off. It dawned on me — my knee is okay. Also, I had cataract surgery. I don’t have to worry about losing my hard contact lenses that I wore from seventh grade to age 59! Woohoo! One drop of water on my eyes and I’d lose my contacts. It really restricted my ocean adventuring.

I decided to rent a boogie board where my son’s girlfriend rented her surfboard — at the surf shop a quarter mile down the beach from where we hang out. $15 for one to three hours. But I was at the grocery store when I saw a boogie board on sale for $15 because it’s the last weekend of summer. Tough choice.

So I did it. I got back into the ocean after four or five years and I feel like a kid again. The perfect end to our beach vacation. Even with the heat wave. Or especially BECAUSE of the heat wave.

I caught a wave! A little one, but I’m back!

Heatwave, Ella Fitzgerald.

Are you having a heat wave? How do you survive the heat?

Have you done anything spontaneous lately? What was it?

Have you heard of “Quiet Quit?”

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beach view from Overlook Park Summerland.
View of the beach from the park below our Vrbo.

With more and more employees being called back to the office, jealousy is bubbling up in the workforce.

Companies are pleading with employees to come back to the office and are plying them with goodies like gift cards, swag and cash bonuses. I read that this is not sitting well with the employees who worked in the office throughout the pandemic.

If they are truly upset, they may “quiet quit.” I’ve seen the term before, but didn’t know what it meant. Today I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that explained it called “These Workers Were the Bosses’ Favorites. Now They Feel Jilted“ by Callum Borchers.

What’s waiting for people heading back to the office after Labor Day? Jealous looks from the underappreciated colleagues who returned long ago

“Tension is a real risk with this group,” says Kristie Rogers, an associate professor of management at Marquette University. “If we’re not paying attention to those who have been around a while, making sure that their efforts were valued and continue to be valued, there could be some division that undermines the purpose of bringing people back in the first place.”

She adds workers who believe their in-person contributions are not sufficiently rewarded may quit or “quiet quit,” staying in a job but doing only the bare minimum. 

Keeping everyone satisfied is especially difficult since many workers feel empowered to resist office callbacks and expect new perks in exchange for showing up. Those who’ve long been working in person can hardly be blamed for resenting the incentives—why weren’t they offered sooner?—even though the benefits are available to all.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/these-workers-were-the-bosses-favorites-now-they-feel-jilted-11661977719?mod=life_work_lead_story

It sounds like a mess to me. Jealousy in the workplace is awful. I should know. I was jealous in my 20s. I found out that a new hire was making much more than what I was paid. Yet, I had experience, a college degree and more responsibility. I didn’t “quiet quit.” I QUIT!

Then, I was on the other side. When I worked with my husband in financial services, I would leave earlier than others to pick up our kids from school and get them to swim practice. I was on the receiving end of dirty looks. But it was the deal we had.

Have you ever experienced jealousy at work?

What are your thoughts about quiet quitting? Have you ever worked with someone who did the bare minimum?

What do you think about working remotely versus showing up in the office?