Friends caught in a freak storm in Santa Barbara Harbor

Posted on September 5, 2017 by E.A. Wickham

A lovely evening after a Sunday sail–earlier this year.

Our good friends, Rob and Deb, were on their normal Sunday afternoon sail in and around Santa Barbara Harbor when a freak “microburst” hit. Read more about the storm here.

Rob grew up sailing as a young lad in Australia and he and Debbie are skilled sailors. The first time we visited them in Santa Barbara, we found ourselves in a yachting race—and my husband and I had no clue what we were doing.

Here’s Debbie’s account of their harrowing ordeal:

She said the clouds were white and puffy above the mountains and she remembered pointing them out to their three guests. She watched as they turned from white, to gray to black. Then, she remembers Rob pointing out a line of rain coming at them across the water. One of her friends said, “Look there’s more coming behind it!”

The next thing she knew they got hit by 80 mph winds and their boat fell over flat. At the time, Debbie was standing on the bow pulpit—that railing that extends beyone the bow. She said she was hanging on for dear life but was able to push herself upright while the boat was on its side.

During this frantic time, one guest fell overboard and the mainsail flapped around in the air and water.

Debbie said there was zero visibility with pelting rain, hail and wind and they had lost control of their boat. When the microburst hit, they were turning left into the harbor by the pier. Debbie’s thoughts were for the group of kids who had been sailing in the harbor. There were dozens of kids as young as 10 in a youth sailing group capsized and hanging onto the centerboards of their boats. Debbie was afraid they would run over the kids as their boat spun this way and that. She said they did hit a paddle boarder, who dove off his board to avoid them.

Unsure how long the ordeal lasted, she said Rob was able to gain control of the boat eventually and sail it with the jib since they had no motor power. They avoided hitting large yachts, the rocky breakwater and various other hazards. Debbie said the harbor was filled with floating items like shoes, umbrellas, boat cushions, ladders, etc. She wanted to get towed, but Rob said no, that they were okay and other people needed to be pulled out of the water and rescued. After the storm passed, they were able to dock at Marina One. Their overboard companion called and said he had been rescued by people in a dinghy and for some reason his cell phone was still working.

Rob, Debbie and their guests worked for the next hours cleaning up the mess inside their boat with it taking on water and everything tossed around. Later that night, Rob returned to their boat with their old mainsail and with the help of friends returned their boat to their slip. Debbie said her friends all said they’d go sailing with them again.

Debbie and my daughter on a sail in August.

I’m so thankful they survived and that even though dozens of people capsized or fell overboard, everyone was well and accounted for. We almost joined them for the weekend but decided instead to escape the desert heat up at Big Bear rather than trekking to Santa Barbara on a holiday weekend and fighting traffic and the fire through Los Angeles.

Am I grateful for that decision, especially after hearing Debbie’s harrowing account of their afternoon sail! I don’t know if I could have stayed calm like Rob and Debbie were able to. When we drove home from the mountains on Sunday, we got hit by a flash flood in the high desert–at about the same time as our friend’s storm in Santa Barbara. I was so freaked out driving into blackness, thunder, lightning, and rain pelting down in buckets. We lost visibility and I was afraid we’d be swept away. And that was on a highway in a car—not out in the ocean on a boat! I think watching all the devastation in Houston has me hypersensitive to disasters.

My nervousness has been memorialized by Rob during a sail years ago in a video with me repeating in a frightened voice to my kids, “Here comes a wave!” The sea doesn’t back up my fear—it’s glassy and calm.

Like I said, I’m thankful my friends and everyone in Santa Barbara are okay!

Have you been caught in a storm or natural disaster? Did you stay calm?

Rob at the helm, giving my daughter instructions in August. Below are dolphins we followed a few years ago.

Debbie on the bow pulpit, exactly where she was when the storm hit.

Amazing Sailing in Santa Barbara Sunday Before the Oil Spill

Posted on May 24, 2015 by E.A. Wickham

On the lookout for Humpback Whales.

Sunday was a perfect day for sailing. I went with my daughter, who’s home from college for a short break, and our friends—who own a sailboat. They live near Santa Barbara, and as an Aussie, Rob sails in and out of his slip at the marina, and the first time I went sailing with them, we were in a regatta. So, he’s very good at sailing.

I’m a fair weather sailor. I like a gentle breeze, sunshine, and no waves. The weather was perfect. We watched as 14-footers raced, brightly-colored spinnakers hoisted, gliding over a glossy sea.

A couple of the 14 footers with spinnakers racing by.

Then, we spotted a dolphin. Then tens of dolphins. Soon the boat was sailing with dolphins leaping all around. Several were playing and cruising along the bow. There were dolphins leaping in all directions, tens upon dozens of them everywhere!

Then they slowed down and turned around.

We watched pelicans and gulls dive into the ocean.

Then–the spray of a whale blowing. The broad humped back, then the tail. WOW! We all yelled together. Soon we spotted whale number two. Then three. We were being treated to a pod of humpback whales.

A whale’s tale.

We spent the next several hours on the lookout for whales. After the tail goes straight up the whale dives. It was incredible to hear their loud gasp for air as they filled their lungs with oxygen before their dive. They hold their breath and stay submerged for at at least five to ten minutes. We would wait patiently, scanning the sea for a sign of the blow, and the back breaking the surface.

What a truly amazing day. How sad I was the following day to hear about the oil spill.

Here are more dolphin photos. These are from my friends with the sailboat on a recent sail they had from Santa Barbara to the islands. How I wish I had been there.

Dolphins having fun with the boat.

Two dolphins at the bow. Photo by Debbie Gardiner.

Reflections during sunset at the Santa Barbara marina.

Here are the latest photos from my friends from their June sail to “the islands.” Photos by Debbie Gardiner.

What to do and say when you’re facing an empty nest, or Is there life after kids? Part 1.

Posted on July 9, 2014 by E.A. Wickham

“What are you going to do after Kat leaves?” I’ve been asked more than a few times. Yes, I’m facing an empty nest, with a soon to be senior at UCSB and my youngest going off to Utah to swim in college.

I asked a friend the same thing last year when her youngest left for college. She said it’s unbelievable how many people ask that. She’s a busy person and didn’t think that was going to stop because her kids were living away from home. She liked to answer the question with, “I’ll be taking up underwater, upside down yoga basket-weaving.”

I remember when this friend and I carried our youngest on our hips, and watched our first graders begin their day with an assembly in a courtyard lined with fragrant rosemary bushes. Our babies would wriggle off our hips and run to the playground. I won’t forget the day they were escorted back to us by a horrified teacher that told us they had called their older siblings “poop heads.” Oh my! Those were the days!

For the past 25 years I have been serving as a volunteer in one form or another — and the majority of my time has been caring for others. I’ve served on boards of Ad Club and Junior League — in my life before kids. Then the preschool and elementary school boards, room mom for years, National Charity League, the swim team board, etc. It’s been a busy life, filled with great memories and friendships.

I’ve been changing diapers, wiping noses, making late night trips to the ER with sick or hurt kids, and cooking, cleaning, and driving.

It’s now going to be time for me! Isn’t that an exciting thought?

So, what am I going to do? I’ll let you know at a later date.Photos are from the past 21 years of being a mom. From the top: Kat at June 2014 Open Water National Championships, Robert and Kat at sunset sailing in Santa Barbara, one of 12 years of piano lessons for Robert, at the beach with friends, baby Kat yawning, and a 1997 Christmas card photo.

Top Five Things Parents Need to Know — When their Kids Go Off to College

Posted on May 6, 2014 by E.A. Wickham

(Photo from the University of Washington, my alma mater.)

I’ve written about the top 10 things kids need to know before leaving for college. But, what about us? When our kids leave, it’s a drastic change in our lives.

(View from dorms at UCSB.)

I remember driving my son to Santa Barbara and moving him into his dorm room. It was a big day for our family. I was excited, so happy for him. I was thrilled that he was ready to embrace his future. Personally, I loved college. It was a time in my life that I felt free, grown up, independent and ready to take on the world. I could identify with what my first born was going to experience.

(The day we dropped Robert off at college.)

But, then we said our good-byes. It hit. Like a punch in the stomach. Then, the tears. Oh, my! I wasn’t expecting that. The drive home, my younger child, age 15, looked at me in horror. I was falling apart. Thank goodness for her riding in the car with me. I probably would have wailed like a complete idiot without her staring at me.

(My son on our friend’s sailboat during orientation weekend.)

Now, I have a few months left before I face a totally empty nest. What did I learn the first time around to prepare me for this time? I wish I knew some secret to make it easier.

During orientation, UCSB gave parents a few tips on how to parent your college kid. This is what I remember:

1. Give them space. Don’t hover, don’t call too often, never call before 10 a.m.

2. Set up a time to make calls on a weekly basis — and not more often than that.

3. Expect them to get homesick. It’s natural they will miss home-cooked meals, their own room, their friends, pets, and you! Reassure them that this is normal. They tend to get homesick around six to eight weeks. It will get better. They’ll adjust. But, will you?

4. Be sure to send a few care packages. Their favorite cookies, toiletries, something to make them smile. Mid-terms and finals weeks are ideal times to mail care packages.

5. Take time for yourself! Write, paint, sew, take a yoga class. Do something every week for just you. Make a list of things you used to love doing, but through the child-raising and working years, haven’t found time to do. Make another list of things you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t. You’ll find your way.