How to be present in the moment

I wrote this article at my daughter’s last PAC 12 swim meet. I was feeling nostalgic and overwhelmed with all the emotions. It’s so important to be in the moment when you’re spending time with family and friends. We need to remember to put the phone down and truly appreciate the time you have together.

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Enjoying a moment in Seattle with my son.

I discovered some profound parenting advice in an online publication called the Montgomery Advertiser in a short column called “Parenting: Teach your teen to live for today” by Tom Tozer and Bill Black, Dads2Dads.

“Slow down, the future is always ahead of you

The future isn’t a destination. It’s not like arriving at school or stopping at the gas station. Your future is composed of intangibles — hopes, dreams and possibilities. The future urges you to keep moving, dreaming, changing and growing. Simply put, the future is that part of life that once you arrive, you’re still not there. No wonder it’s hard to look at and to answer that probing question: What are you going to do with your life?

“Young man, young woman, set your goals but keep them flexible. Evaluate them. Discard those you lose interest in and make new ones. Keep your options open. Now’s the time to try new things, to make new discoveries and prepare for sudden forks in the road. Welcome those sharp curves and U-turns. These detours help you evaluate the direction you’re taking. Relax.

“While you certainly want to set your sights ahead, avoid getting so wrapped up in plotting, planning and pursuing the future that you fail to enjoy the present. The future is a great place to think about, but the present is the best place to be.”

With my kids going through transitions in their lives, from childhood to adulthood, and not knowing exactly the path to what they want to be, I will share this article with them. So much of our lives are spent planning and preparing for the future. But what is the is future? (In reality, we go from point A to point B and that B becomes point A.) We never get into the future. We have the moment we are in and should try to make the most of it.

I do spend a lot of time reflecting on the past and anticipating the future, but I also take time each day to enjoy the now. How do I do that? By enjoying a moment out in my backyard, watering my flowers. Walking around my park each morning before I “start my day.” Spending time being with my friends and family—by putting my phone down.

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I took a moment to capture the beauty outside the pool at PAC 12s.

With my mom the past few days, I sat with her and we played hand after hand of cards. We whispered together playing Bingo and Laughter Yoga. (Ha ha ha -Ho ho ho. YAY! was the chant we learned and filled the room with belly laughs.) I stopped my life to be with her and be in the moment. With our son, he stopped his busy life last week to be with us and we enjoyed our moments together—whether we were at the pool watching the meet or taking a day trip to Pike Place Market, downtown Seattle.

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A wonderful day with my kiddos.

How do you enjoy the moment and get away from the planning and preparing for the future?
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Emotions Running Amok During the Final Swim

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My two kids having fun at the PAC 12 Champs.

This past week, I experienced so many emotions, from numb to raw. It was the end of an era for us as our daughter experienced another milestone. I reflected on how much swimming has been a part of our lives. Since she was five and our son eight years old, swimming has been a common thread.

One of the biggest emotions I felt was pride. It’s amazing that through some tough times and disappointments, she stuck with it. Through illness and injury, she doesn’t feel she ever reached her full potential in terms of speed and success. In all honesty, she didn’t swim as fast as she potentially could have. But as far as success, she gained it in leadership, grit, friendships, and hard work. She learned that life doesn’t happen in a straight line upwards from one success to success, or joyous occasion to the next. There are tough times in between to make the good ones count.

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Swim moms at the PAC 12 Champs.

Our son was with us and he also felt so much pride in his little sister. He said watching the meet made him realize how much swimming meant to him and how much he’d like to be a part of a team once again. He decided to focus on music and academics and gave up on swimming before college. We were blown away by the races which included the greatest athletes in the world. We watched in awe as American and PAC 12 records dropped right and left at my daughter’s last meet. My son kept saying, “This is amazing that my little sister swims in the PAC 12.” He hadn’t been to a conference championship meet before to watch Katie Ledecky, Simone Manuel or Abbey Weitzeil, to name a few of the amazing athletes competing. Having him stay with us in a hotel room for a few days brought back memories of the many meets we traveled to as a family. I’m proud of him and the kind and considerate person he’s become and felt comforted having him by my side.

 

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Getting ready for the final swim.

I steeled myself against getting too teary-eyed—that’s where the numbness feeling crept in. The only time I had to wipe my wet cheeks was during the last 50 of her 1,650. The final race. I was touched beyond belief at the extent the other team parents went to honor the seniors and the parents—especially the moms. One created the most original, personalized necklaces just for us senior moms which lit up with red hearts pulsing with our daughter’s names and photos included. The rawness came in when I’d have moments of being overwhelmed by trying to keep it all bottled in.

A truly special week, which I’ll never forget. Thank you swimming–for giving our family so many memories together as well as giving us amazing friends.

IMG_0279What recent milestones have you experienced with your family?

Why I’m Thankful My World Slowed Down

 

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Waffles snoring and asleep on my lap with his Nylabone.

I’m sitting in my daughter’s house in Utah with a torn ACL from a ski accident barely able to hobble around the house, wearing an epic knee brace. My life has slowed down dramatically and it gives me a different perspective on my days. I’m thankful that I’m not in pain. I’m trying to make the most out of the situation and strangely enough, I’m feeling positive. There are so many things in my life to be thankful for.

First, I’m thankful for my son and his girlfriend and the days they spent with us—before my accident. I’m thankful my son had returned to his home before I fell and he wasn’t with me. I will treasure the time skiing with my son, just like the days when he was a child living at home. It’s an activity that he and I shared and will still do (next year when I’m healed.) The time with our son is not very frequent now that he’s in the Bay Area and a working man.

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My son and his girlfriend at The Little America Coffee Shop for dinner after skiing.

 

Second, I’m thankful for our good friends who came and shared their company with us over the New Year’s weekend. It was a 12-hour drive for them and I don’t take their sacrifice to leave their home and make the trek to stay with us lightly. The Thompson fire came within 400 yards of their home, and I’m thankful their home was spared and they are okay.

Third, I’m thankful for the patience my husband had for everyone taking off cross country and downhill skiing, leaving him in the house alone while we were out adventuring. Because of his bad knee, he didn’t want to join us. Ha! Now I can truly relate.

Fourth, I’m thankful for my daughter’s pug Waffles, who has been a comfort to me since the accident. He’s a good dog and likes nothing more than to snuggle and nap in my lap or next to my side. It sounds silly, but he’s wonderful company. I’m enjoying the sound of his snoring.

Fifth, I’m thankful for my daughter’s concern and her arranging friends to stop by and take Waffles out for walks. I love her texts and calls and the memories from the week we spent together over Christmas.

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My daughter and I riding the chairlifts in Deer Valley this past summer.

 

Sixth, I’m thankful for rest. I’ve been napping and sleeping so much better than I have in years. I slept from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. without waking up once. Plus, I am napping during the day. I believe this ability to rest and sleep uninterrupted is God’s way of healing my body.

Seventh, I’m thankful for friends. I have received notes and calls of encouragement, concern, and an offer of a visit from a friend close-by. Often, my life is too busy and I don’t want to be bothered with other people. This has been a good reminder to reach out to friends and their importance in my daily life.

 

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A Winter’s view from my daughter’s neighborhood.

 

What things are you thankful for in your life?