Category Archives: Friends

Don’t you love a good book?

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Thanks to fellow blogger and friend LA from Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50 — for recommending Demon Copperhead. It’s one of the better books I’ve read lately.

I finished it in time to share it with my lunch bunch yesterday. My lunch bunch are two friends I worked with in PR and Advertising 30 years ago. We ended up moving to Arizona a few miles apart. We reconnected after years of not seeing each other. Now we go to lunch once a month together. We share books and talk about TV shows we like.

Here’s what Amazon has to say about Demon Copperhead:

Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, Demon Copperhead is the story of a boy born to a teenaged single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father’s good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. Relayed in his own unsparing voice, Demon braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his own invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damages to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens’ anger and compassion, and above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys, and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.

What books have you read lately that you really liked?

Please share, because I’m putting together a list of books to read this year.

The Toboggan Ride Was Fun

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I wrote this post January 3, 2018. I was in Salt Lake City with my husband and friends. It was my daughter’s senior year of college. I realized I hadn’t skied once in one of the most spectacular areas to ski i the United States. So off I went, skiing five days in a row…

Flashback to January 2018:

IMG_9961A perfect day at Alta, Utah.

All my excitement of the New Year came to a crash on the slopes when I made one turn and lost my balance. I went skidding down the mountain spinning on my back and side—but only after feeling a rather awful snap in my left knee.

I stood after a friendly stranger helped me up and I thought I was okay. I skied a hundred yards more and “yikes!” The pain in my knee was sharp, intense and I collapsed. After a third try with the same result, I told my ski companion that I needed help down the mountain. I crossed my poles and we waited until a ski instructor stopped and called for the ski patrol to come get me.

Long story, short…actually, it’s a short story because it was only the first turn of my third run on a perfectly beautiful, sunny day in Alta. I was lifted into a toboggan with my left leg in a splint and wrapped like a burrito as ski patrol Chris, skied me to a snowmobile patrol, who took me the rest of the way to the clinic. I held onto a little flap of tarp over my head because ski patrol Chris said it would keep the snow kicked up by the snowmobile from hitting my face on the way off the mountain.

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My view from the Ski Patrol toboggan.

The nurse, doctor and receptionist were really kind. They empathize with their patients whose vacation has been ruined. In my case, I’m not worried about the torn ACL ruining my skiing days. I’m worried about the rest of this week taking care of my daughter’s house and puppy. (I’m in Salt Lake City, Utah to housesit and puppysit for my daughter, who is with her Utah swim team in Florida for their Christmas training trip. I thought I’d take advantage of her proximity to gorgeous ski resorts and ski for the first time in a decade.)

I have a lot going on and I don’t have time for this. In addition to taking care of the pup, there’s a swim meet I was going to compete in early February. Also, I’m traveling back to Salt Lake for my daughter’s senior day and final dual meet. Plus her final PAC 12 swim meet in Seattle. My cousin is coming to visit. My high school friend plans to stay with me. Yikes again. How do I have surgery and participate in all the momentous occasions ahead? What will I do to keep my sanity without my daily walks and swims?

I think a lot will depend on my attitude and outlook. After a good cry that hasn’t happened yet, I’ll pull myself together and face life every hour the way it’s put before me. I remember after my big accident in college, when I was crossing a street and hit by a pick-up truck going 35 miles per hour, it hit me to appreciate the little blessings in life. Don’t take anything for granted. And live life the best you can.IMG_9968

Another view of the ski slopes at Alta — before my fall.

Back to the present day:

Looking back on that vacation, we did have our son and his future wife with us for a few days. We skied before my accident and that was a highlight. I also tried cross country skiing for the first time with a friend.

It was a long slow process to find normal again after that accident. My orthopedic surgeon recommended putting off surgery for several months, until I got to experience some of my daughter’s milestone’s like her last meet on senior day, taking her and teammates out afterwards and going to PAC 12 Championships. We planned the surgery around my events, so I would have time to recover. Prior to surgery, I wore a brace (and after surgery, too) for months.

I did physical therapy before surgery to strengthen my muscles before the big day. I wasn’t ready for how much my life would slow down after surgery. But I learned to appreciate the small steps I made.

Have you ridden down the slopes in a toboggan?

How have you handled it when life set you back with the unexpected?

What was your attitude like?

What would you do?

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Sunrise view from our backyard.

If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?

That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.

I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.

I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.

I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”

The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.

“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.

“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”

He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.

Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.

What would you do?

Sunset.

Thanksgiving awaits

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The Harris Hawks are feeling right at home in our yard. This was the second day of them hanging out. I wrote about hawks on Wednesday, HERE. This guy is looking mighty plump.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I have mixed emotions about the holiday. I do like getting together with family or friends. I enjoy cooking the meal and having a bounty of leftovers. I enjoy the compliments my Thanksgiving meal gets. It’s satisfying.

But the dark side of Thanksgiving awaits.

Thanksgiving 2021 our dear friend passed away.

Decades earlier: When I was unmarried, living in Seattle, a recent college graduate, this friend (who also lived in Seattle) introduced me to my husband. My husband was visiting for Seafair, which is a summer festival highlighted by hydro races and a Blue Angels show.

As they say, the rest is history.

Eventually our friend left Seattle, sold all his property (real estate was his business) and moved to Arizona. He turned his Seattle real estate into an even greater empire in the Scottsdale/Phoenix area. Prices were way more affordable. Taxes were much better and the business environment was exciting to him.

We would visit our friend in Scottsdale a mile or two from where we now live. We would drive for the weekend from Palm Springs and stay in his casita. My husband was convinced that when he retired, Arizona was the place to be. We’d say good-bye to the high cost of living and taxes of California and embrace Arizona life.

COVID hit and my husband worked remotely. Home prices were skyrocketing in Palm Springs because people wanted out of apartments in San Francisco and LA. They wanted space, a yard, pool and our prices were much lower. We had a new next door neighbor who moved in from SF with his mom sight unseen and called the home his “COVID” home. He was worried about his elderly mom’s health.

My husband decided that it was time to make our move. Especially since he was working from home. I wasn’t sold on it, but told our kids that I was going to ask for a ridiculous price for our home that nobody would consider. That was my secret plan to stay in my dream home. Our house of almost 30 years sold in four hours with offers above asking. So much for that.

So we moved to Arizona close to our friend. He was our first and only friend in the state. We had been friends for close to 40 years. He loved to grill steaks for us. We had him over to our house for dinner. We watched football together and went out to great sushi restaurants. My husband would help him with his properties on weekends, schlepping refrigerators into apartments, or other DIY stuff. Like I said, that was his business. He appreciated my husband’s help.

He introduced us to his entourage, his brother and wife who also moved from Seattle to Arizona. Then another couple who will be retiring from Seattle to Scottsdale in a few years.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving 2021, he was hospitalized. He had a cough and was having trouble breathing. He was put on a ventilator after a week. He’d call my husband to bring him things from his home, like his razor and a pillow. The hospital tested him eight times for COVID — all negative.

Thanksgiving night, 2021 we had our friends who moved from Palm Springs over for dinner. My husband told them that he was worried about our friend, who was finally diagnosed with Valley Fever. Thinking it was COVID, the hospital had treated him the entire time with antibiotics, which is the wrong thing to do to a fungus like Valley Fever. Antibiotics allowed the fungus to grow unchecked.

The harsh words from our dinner guest, who retired from running the ER in Palm Springs said, “He’s not going to make it.”

He died a few hours later.

What holiday that is supposed to be joyous has dark undertones for you?

What’s cooking?

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Instructor Jan D’Artri helped us by cutting up the White Chocolate English Toffee I made with my neighbor during a cooking class at Sweet Basil Culinary Center.

Are you a spur of the moment person?

I’m not. I plan out my weeks and I like to follow a schedule. I make to do lists and enjoy crossing off items with a red pen.

My neighbor texted me and invited me to an Ina Garten cooking class. She said her friend couldn’t make it and would I like to take her place. I hesitated. It wasn’t on my schedule. It wasn’t on my list.

Then I said yes.

I had to look up who Ina Garten was. She had a show on the Food Network called the Barefoot Contessa. I watched her show occasionally, but I didn’t know her real name.

It was a hands on cooking class called Cooking Ina Garten Favorites (no she wasn’t there in person). Then we got to pick what we wanted to prepare out of the following recipes:

Spinach & Artichoke Dip with Garlic Bread
Truffled Mac & Cheese
Crispy Chicken Parmesan with English Roasted Potatoes
Ina’s Chicken Pot Pie Soup with Puff Pastry Croutons
White Chocolate English Toffee
Beatty’s Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Buttercream
Paloma Cocktail

FYI, you can google any of these recipes and they show up from Ina Garten.

Crispy Chicken Parmesan with English Roasted Potatoes. Delicious.

Chicken Pot Pie Soup with Puff Pastry Croutons. This was my favorite and I’ll try it at home. Here’s a LINK to Ina’s recipe.

One of my neighbor’s friends making the Paloma cocktails.

A photo of the cooking area. We were assigned to stations with our ingredients, pots and pans, burners, ovens and recipes.

My neighbor and I chose White Chocolate English Toffee because it looked super easy. However, we couldn’t get our white chocolate morsels to melt. The instructor added vegetable oil and whipped it into shape. Here’s a LINK to Ina Garten’s recipe.

When we were done cooking, we sat down to a delicious meal. Everything was so good!

Sweet Basil’s is also a kitchen store with all sorts of fun gadgets, beautiful dishes, serving platters, knives and everything under the sun for cooking.

Have you tried any of Ina Garten’s recipes before? If so what ones?

From my list of recipes from the cooking class, which would you most likely want to prepare and eat?

Are you a spur of the moment person or a planner?

Odds and Ends

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It was windy and beginning to rain when I went outside to bring in a towel out by the pool. I didn’t want the towel to end up in the pool, or get wet from rain.

I pulled the towel off the recliner and a bobcat jumped out of the fireplace! We both were surprised. She ran to the fence and crawled through to the wash behind our house. I ran into the house. A few minutes later, she returned to the fireplace. I grabbed my camera with the telephoto lens and took a few pictures from inside our bedroom.

Olive the cat noticed her first bobcat. She got low into stalking mode — but stayed far away from the window as she watched. If it’s a bird, she’s right up against the window whacking at the bird through the glass.

The fireplace makes a cozy cat cave.

House Guests

The last house guest stayed with us for several days to scout a local lake. He’s entering a freshwater spearfishing competition. He arrived at our house with his boat and spent the next three days free diving in the lake from dawn to dusk.

He also brought us some treats from a recent fishing trip to Alaska. The freezer in the casita is filled with salmon, rock cod and black cod. There’s also lobster from his free diving off the coast of Southern California. What a treat! He’s welcome back anytime.

This is Black Cod that I cooked in foil on the barbecue. It’s my favorite fish which I used to get in Seattle’s Chinatown while I was in college. Incredibly delicious!

Things are not going swimmingly!

The past two weeks, I got back into the pool at the YMCA for lap swimming. I had stopped swimming during our wet, cold winter months ago. Then summer came and the weather was hot, which means I don’t like being out in the sun.

I was proud of myself and wanted to be consistent with swimming. Then on my swim day, the weather dropped overnight by 50 degrees! It was windy and rainy. I cancelled swimming. It warms up a bit this week, so I’ll get back to the pool.

One day while driving home from the pool, I heard INTELLIGENCE FOR YOUR LIFE MINUTES by John Tesh on the radio. It was about a Harvard study on ending your daily shower with 30-seconds of cold water.

In the study, people who ended their daily shower with 30-seconds of cold water had less sick days than those who took hot showers. I’ve heard of a trend of cold plunge lately by a number of celebrities. My college roommate’s husband said he takes a cold plunge in an icy stream at their home in Sun Valley, Idaho.

I found this information from UCLA:

What is cold therapy?

Cold therapy, also called cryotherapy, uses exposure to cold temperatures to cool the body’s tissues for therapeutic reasons. There are several ways to apply cold therapy, including:

  • Cold showers, which involve lowering the water temperature below 60 degrees for two to three minutes at a time
  • Cold spray, used to numb a small area
  • Cold water immersion or ice baths, or submerging everything but your head and neck in cold water
  • Localized ice application to treat injuries or specific muscle groups
  • Whole-body cryotherapy, which exposes the body to very cold vapors

Why cold showers could be good for you

Cold showers are not the primary treatment for any conditions, and conclusive research about cold therapy is still limited. But a quick blast of cold water can be beneficial when used for symptom relief.

Taking cold showers may:

1. Bolster your immunity to common colds

2. Combat symptoms of depression

3. Improve circulation

4. Increase metabolism

5. Reduce inflammation and prevent muscle soreness

6. Relieve localized pain

Our daughter used to take ice baths at swim meets in our hotel room between prelims and finals. The purpose was to flush out inflammation and increase blood flow to her legs.

Our pool isn’t heated and I could use it as a cold plunge pool this winter. Or, try the 30 second shower method. I’ll tell you how it goes.

What are your thoughts about cold showers or ice baths? Would you give it a try?

Have you tried Black Cod otherwise known as Sablefish?

My super busy week

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A cactus in bloom last May.
A cactus in bloom last spring.

Ever have one of those weeks? Where everything seems to be happening at once? I’m having one and I’m thankful it’s Friday.

My week started with one thing on the schedule each day. That’s unusual for me. I usually have more down days than days with things planned. I had appointments, my lunch bunch went to a fun new restaurant, I had a board meeting for my women’s group that supports sex trafficked women. We invited a neighbor over for dinner Thursday because his wife is out of town. I had my zoom call where we discuss all the things you’re not supposed to in polite company — current events, politics and yes, religion!

I even made it to the YMCA and started lap swimming again! Yay for me! It feels wonderful to be back in the water and helps my toes that have started to hurt again during my walks. I will credit swimming to keeping me calm during my super, busy week.

I got a phone call while out to lunch with my friends. A swim mom friend from Palm Springs called. We usually talk for an hour. I didn’t answer because like I said, I was out to lunch. I forgot about the call and then I saw they texted me several times. I realized I had missed a few calls from her earlier in the week, too.

This mom was one of my best friends on the swim team. I went to my first swim meet when our son was in second grade. I was overwhelmed. It’s like landing on another planet. I didn’t know what was going on. Our son was scared. We couldn’t figure out how we were supposed to know when he was supposed to line up at the blocks.

The first person to greet me with a big smile and welcome was this woman, who would become one of my best friends.

Our two kids swam with her daughter, who went to the Beijing Olympics at age 16 and London at 20. Their daughter is so humble that once our daughter said to her, “Wow. I get to train with an Olympian.”

She looked around and answered, “Really? Who? Where’s the Olympian?”

Our son and her daughter would do homework together at the pool before practice when they were in high school.

Wednesday night I called and my friend asked if they could stay with us for three or four days starting the next day. Her husband is in a spear fishing tournament at a lake by us. He wants to scout out the lake before the big event. Of course I said yes.

They are arriving Thursday, while we’re having our neighbor over for dinner.

Thursday morning, I moved Olive and all her cat stuff from the casita into our master bathroom. I moved my files, books and laptop, too. We had guests a little over a week ago, and I prepped and readied the casita for them. Gradually, my stuff and Olive’s found it’s way back in there.

Sheets are washed, bed is made and grocery shopping is done to stock their fridge with a few goodies. I’m good to go. I did let her know that I had two meetings on Friday and would be gone most of the day.

She said she’s not expecting me to entertain her. So all is good! But I was a bit overwhelmed….

Do you like busy weeks, or quiet alone ones? Or a mix of the two?