Tag Archives: lunch bunch

Is it a date?

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Saguaro in bloom.

The other weekend, we had a couple over for the “Rib King’s” Baby Back Ribs. In case you missed the post, I wrote about my husband’s cooking technique for BBQ ribs HERE.

We had a fun night, they loved the ribs and my old-fashioned potato salad.

They mentioned inviting us over to their home for open houses. Their community has open houses each Saturday. You can tour homes ranging in price from $1.5 million to $12 million. Two homes were listed recently at the high end. I thought it would be fun to take a look at the sky high homes.

Saturday came and we hadn’t heard from our friends all week. I wondered what to do. My husband and I had gone for a huge hike, I was tired and wanted to stay home and read.

Here’s the dilemma. Should I call or text and ask if we were still on?

Or, should I wait for them to call?

When I want good advice I call my daughter.

“What would make you feel worse? Standing them up if they’re expecting you, or calling to see if you’re still on?” she said.

I decided standing them up would be the worse option. Maybe what I took for a set-in-stone invitation, may have been “we should do this some Saturday” — and not “next Saturday” as I heard it. They are close enough friends I that I could be straight forward and ask. But it still felt awkward.

I typed a text message and thought, “That’s not it.” I deleted it and tried again.

Finally, I picked up the phone. We had a nice, long conversation and never once did open houses come up. I heard about their DYI project they were working on and a game they were watching later.

Today, I’m going to lunch with my “lunch bunch,” two graphic designers I worked with in Palm Springs who live a few miles from me in Arizona. Each month, we meet for lunch. Before we leave, we pick a date for the following month. We rotate who chooses the restaurant and we always try something different. We’ve been to Indian, Sushi, BBQ, Mexican, etc. I kind of like how we plan ahead because then the lunch date happens. I know what to expect.

What would you have done in my situation? Wait for a call or make it yourself?

Do you like spontaneous get togethers or planned dates?

I’m sharing a video of “Desert Nights” from my son’s high school band, The Saucy Stenographers. He wrote their songs and played keyboard. The singer Marilyn Wexler’s grandfather was a well known mid-century architect in Palm Springs. This video is from a downtown Palm Springs club. I’m recording from my flip video camera (remember those?) so it’s not perfect audio! This was my favorite song my son wrote and his band performed.

FYI, the name Saucy Stenographers came from a YA book they loved (me too) called Ella Minnow Pea.

Life’s too short

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Sunset in Puerto Penasco
Sunset in Puerto Penasco.

This week I went out to lunch with two graphic designers I used to work with when I was in public relations and advertising. I’m talking about the years before I had kids. My oldest is 30!

Last month, I met graphic designer #1 for coffee. She moved out here about 15 years ago. She lived a few blocks from me in Palm Springs. When I was moving out here, a fellow swim friend reminded to contact her.

I’m so glad I did. At the time, COVID was raging and we didn’t get together. But she sent me an email with lists of restaurants and grocery stores nearby. She also told me to keep my cat inside! She recommended the YMCA that is five miles from our house as a place to swim. All her help made our move easier.

This time for lunch, graphic designer #1 asked if it was okay if she invited another graphic designer from my past life. When I had my own PR firm, I felt a lack of loyalty from graphic designer #2. It was a work related incident that is meaningless now.

Today, I have a totally different perspective. I can see where I was at fault, or maybe I was reading something into a situation that didn’t exist. She may not even realize that I was upset!

I felt work that I created was mine — but in fact it belonged to the company who hired me. I didn’t have ownership, just pride in my work.

Amazing what 30 years can do for clarity and common sense.

The three of us had a delicious and leisurely lunch, caught up on decades past and agreed to make this happen on regular basis. I was so excited to see and connect with both my old co-workers and friends. They’ll add a great dimension to my new Arizona life.

Here’s to ongoing friendships, a sense of community, and understanding that life is too short to hold onto hard feelings.

What examples do you have where time has changed your perspective over your feelings or relationships?