This week I went out to lunch with two graphic designers I used to work with when I was in public relations and advertising. I’m talking about the years before I had kids. My oldest is 30!
Last month, I met graphic designer #1 for coffee. She moved out here about 15 years ago. She lived a few blocks from me in Palm Springs. When I was moving out here, a fellow swim friend reminded to contact her.
I’m so glad I did. At the time, COVID was raging and we didn’t get together. But she sent me an email with lists of restaurants and grocery stores nearby. She also told me to keep my cat inside! She recommended the YMCA that is five miles from our house as a place to swim. All her help made our move easier.
This time for lunch, graphic designer #1 asked if it was okay if she invited another graphic designer from my past life. When I had my own PR firm, I felt a lack of loyalty from graphic designer #2. It was a work related incident that is meaningless now.
Today, I have a totally different perspective. I can see where I was at fault, or maybe I was reading something into a situation that didn’t exist. She may not even realize that I was upset!
I felt work that I created was mine — but in fact it belonged to the company who hired me. I didn’t have ownership, just pride in my work.
Amazing what 30 years can do for clarity and common sense.
The three of us had a delicious and leisurely lunch, caught up on decades past and agreed to make this happen on regular basis. I was so excited to see and connect with both my old co-workers and friends. They’ll add a great dimension to my new Arizona life.
Here’s to ongoing friendships, a sense of community, and understanding that life is too short to hold onto hard feelings.
What examples do you have where time has changed your perspective over your feelings or relationships?
It’s funny how work issues seem so silly as we age. Plus in our field, we walk a fine line in the ownership of the materials we create. Here’s a crazy thing. So I created a bunch of materials in my last job. I didn’t do a great job of saving the work. When I was laid off, I lost a lot of that work. It’s not horrible, but still annoying. Anyway, glad you’ve rekindled some great friendships!!!
That’s too bad you lost that work. It’s funny how meaningless things become years later!
It’s fine. It’s not stuff I really need, but at some point someone will ask for a particular clip or something and I’ll wish I had it. Se la vie! Priorities, right!!! Thanks for your post!
I get it. There were layoffs at the company I worked at, too. I had already left and was working on my own. I was upset to see an employee who was laid off taking “my work” to be updated. But like I said, it belonged to the company, not me. Priorities! I was upset the independent graphic designer took the work.
You’re so right that time and distance brings clarity to our perspectives.
It certainly does!
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It reminds me of that old saying “When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks. Then, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks. Finally, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place” 😀
I love it! That’s where I’m at 😊
What a marvelous saying. Must save it. Thanks
Self awareness, maturity and wisdom! Isn’t it great when you have one of those moments whereby you realize as an adult that you have learned so much and you can admit it!! Glad you have these new-old friends back in your life EA!
That’s it exactly. My younger self got upset easily and read more into issues. I remember a boss telling me everything wasn’t about me! That other people may have things going on in their lives that we aren’t aware of.
This ties in really well with LA’s post today!
I haven’t read hers yet, but will soon!
Love the perspective you’re sharing here, Elizabeth. “Ownership” questions can be so murky in the creative world…I feel I’ve been in the scenario you described, holding some grudges or a bit of ill will and then realizing none of it mattered — really mattered. Just my fragile ego wanting to cling. I love insight…even though it comes with a side order or aging! So glad you were able to connect with these special folks. 🥰
None of it matters at all. I believe you’re correct, it’s ego that creates issues. I’m excited to have both friends back in my life.
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I love your wisdom, Elizabeth. No wonder you have friends for more than 30 years – because you are willing to go book and look at things through another lens. Beautiful reminder that we should all do that!
I’m definitely wiser than I was 30 years ago! I’m grateful for that!
I realize as I become older and health is more sacred that most coworkers are just trying to survive also. Many are not even aware of the politics. As the economy becomes more challenging, I see this in many of the faces of people shopping, when I donate items at thrift shops, and while working….it is a tough road as more homes go into foreclosure and things change. The only thing constant is change. I see now that my time in Manhattan and my tears so many years ago was just part of the ebb and flow of a challenging journey. I am glad to have landed on my feet and moved forward with luck, hard work, and family ties.
Well said!
If life is too short, then why are some days sooooo damn long.
I’m having one of those days now!
This is great! Yes, we grow, we mature and can put things in perspective more. Blessings to you all as you continue meeting with each other. Friendshps are priceless and glad you can restore yours! <3
Thankfully we do mature! I don’t think my friend ever knew I had an issue. I’m looking forward to spending more time with my longtime friends.
I agree, time does change perspective in so many ways. Glad you re-connected and enjoyed meeting up with old friends. Lovely post!
Thank you! 😊
I have a friend who I thought was a pain, but after time she’s become one of my closest friends because I realized how much she would do for me. I have a relative who I thought was awesome, and realized she’s not what she seemed to be
Time does change our perspectives.
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I rarely hear from anyone from my work days, but occasionally get together with college friends. I’d say that my perspective about them has become more generous, less judgmental, and completely laissez-faire/entertained by what they do. We couldn’t be more dissimilar now but seem to bring out the best in each other.
I see one or two of my college friends and it’s as though no time has passed. I like your perspective of being more generous and less judgemental.