One of my favorite actresses passed away this weekend. I believe we are all mourning the loss of such a talented actress. (This image is free and may be used by anyone for any purpose. This file is licensed under the Creative CommonsAttribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.)
Diane Keaton was a resident of Southern California and she owned a home in Palm Springs, which she and her family used for vacations. Her daughter was a swimmer, like my kids, and we’d be surprised to see Keaton on our pool deck during holidays. Just like other swim families, kids often drop in on local teams while the family has vacation. There’s not many days of missing practice in the swim world.
One year at Summer Junior Olympics in Mission Viejo, I spotted Diane Keaton on the pool deck. She was dressed in her usual Annie Hall attire. I learned this weekend that Hall was her maiden name and Annie was her nickname. Also, that her personal wardrobe was used for the movie of the same name.
Other parents at the Mission Viejo pool spotted Diane Keaton that weekend, too. Within minutes there was a murmer around the pool deck that Diane Keaton was there!
One of the dad’s from our team was face to face with Diane Keaton. He said, “You look just like that actress…” He couldn’t remember her name.
“Diane Keaton,” she said.
“Yeah, that it’s it. Diane Keaton. You know you really look like her.”
“I am Diane Keaton,” she replied.
He didn’t believe her. Keaton asked him if he wanted a selfie with her. She took the selfie with his phone. That dad rushed back to our pop-up tent and blurted to the group of parents, “I just got a picture with a woman who looks just like Diane Keaton.”
We all answered in unison, “That IS Diane Keaton.”
What a special person she was who didn’t put on airs for being famous, but wanted to live a quiet private life in spite of being an iconic figure and major actor.
This photo was from my daughter’s last PAC 12 championship swim meet in Federal Way, Wash. It’s a ball pit in the lobby of the Natatorium for photo ops. Every year, they had something different to pose with. I’m sitting at the top right, not in the ball pit, because I’m wearing a brace after wrecking my knee skiing. This group of women were my compadres at the University of Utah — all proud swim moms of Utes.
Last week I was surprised to see an email with the subject line: “Swim Mom Advice.”
That brought me back to the roller coaster days of being a swim mom. Both my kids began swimming with our local club team at an early age. My son swam through high school, my daughter all four years of college.
A woman was emailing me for advice about her daughter who was a swimmer in college. No, I didn’t recognize the name. I have never met her. Nor, do I know who her daughter is or where she goes to college.
So why was she emailing me?
I used to write a weekly swim parenting advice column for SwimSwam, the world’s most read swim site. You can look at my stories HERE. I have a page for them on my blog.
For my column, I read sports parenting books and websites from “real” sports parenting experts. I also listened to podcasts. Although I used first-hand stories, I actually did homework and didn’t just write things off the cuff.
After a couple years, I started getting emails from swim moms sharing specifics about their children, coaches or teams. They wanted my advice. I turned this into a feature called “Ask Swim Mom” which I rotated into my weekly column. One thing about writing for SwimSwam, I got a lot of comments — some good, some downright vicious. For my “Ask Swim Mom” column a common comment was to stop making up stupid questions. That wasn’t true. I was flattered people emailed me.
I started writing for SwimSwam after interviewing for a managing editor job. The job turned out to be weekends and evenings — covering big swim meets — and not for that point in my life. But I did submit a story I wrote about being a swim mom. The founder and CEO of SwimSwam called me. He told me that if SwimSwam were a movie, they had a cast of characters, but no one to play the role of “Swim Mom.” He was casting me!
What was the email about?
There are lots of changes in collegiate swimming. I think it’s due to trickle down of NIL from football and other big money sports. Swimming loses money. It takes a lot of money to fund a pool. Consequently, rosters of swimmers are being cut at many teams. This swim mom said that swimmers were being cut, but not her daughter. Some of her daughter’s roommates and best friends were out. People including moms weren’t speaking to each other. I can only imagine how hard that would be for all the parents and swimmers — those who are staying have survival guilt. Those who were cut are devastated.
In any case, it felt good to be a swim mom again for a day. I replied to her email and asked my daughter for her advice and included it, too.
In the end, my daughter transitioned from swimmer to swammer and became a working adult. Of course, COVID shut downs had a lot to do with it not being easy. My swim mom days were over and I thought to myself, “Who would want my advice anyway?” Hence the end of “Ask Swim Mom” and my weekly column for SwimSwam.
What time in your life do you look back on and miss — or not miss? And why?
I wrote this post in 2015 when my daughter was swimming in college. Watching the Olympics and having a connection to a few of the swimmers made me miss my swim mom days.
My daughter diving in for the 1000 free during a dual meet. Utes vs. USC. She’s the one with pointed toes.
We went to my daughter’s first college dual meet of the season this weekend. I loved every minute of the meet, but even more, spending time with her. She invited several swim teammates out to dinner. It felt like the sprinkle of rain after a long drought—listening to them laugh and talk about their meet and practices.
I didn’t realize how much I miss the little daily things about being an age-group swim mom.
I miss the kids hanging out. So many personalities, so many different families, all bound together by one common goal. Swimming.
My son and swim team friends. He’s in front.
I have a fierce loyalty to our team and the couple times when factions of parents split off to form their own teams, I was shocked and hurt. It felt like losing members of my immediate family. I’d always wonder why? I never thought we had a bad experience—maybe at times less than perfect—but I guess that’s part of the reason I didn’t understand.
Good times were sitting together in the stands cheering for all our kids. Getting the new team t-shirts, sipping Starbucks on a chilly winter morning under the pop-up tents. Chatting and laughing with parents while we waited to see what the day’s meet would bring. I loved working with our parents and officials under the admin tent, in awards, or in the snack bar at our home meets.
The team cheer at an away meet.
I loved having kids over to the house to hang out between morning and afternoon practices during long hot summer days. I loved cooking eggs, bacon and sausage in bulk for a pack of hungry swimmers. I was amazed at how much they could eat as a group. I loved having the team over for painting t-shirts for a big meet.
Swim team girls painting t-shirts for a meet in our back yard with their coach.
I loved listening to the kids laughing about silly things that happened in practice and the goofy songs they played and sang to like “Funkytown” and the “Numa Numa Song.”
Most of all, l I loved seeing my kids smiling, laughing and enjoying their friendships. Throughout the years, my kids were surrounded by amazing kids, families and coaches. Just being in the background was a joy.
I miss those days.
Group photo on t-shirt painting day.
My daughter receiving ribbons from her first coach.
What do you miss about earlier years in your life?
This is a post I wrote in 2021 during the Tokyo Olympics. Caeleb Dressel had seven Olympic Gold Medals at the time and was known as “Captain America.” Fast forward to 2024 and he began the Olympics earning a gold medal in the 4 X 100 free relay. I was so happy for him making a comeback. He took time off to get through mental health issues and found joy again in swimming. He also got married and the Dressels have a baby boy.
This past week, he had a heartbreaking day where he didn’t win a medal in the 50 free or even qualify for the 100 fly finals. NBC zoomed in on his face as he cried. I thought that was totally out of line.
Saturday, Dressel earned his ninth gold for the mixed relay where men and women swim. My daughter’s opinion was this: On Dressel’s bad day, he shouldn’t have swam the 100 fly on the mixed relay. He had two 100 fly’s and a 50 free to swim that day. As a sprinter, that’s a heavy load.On Sunday, Dressel swam the 4 X 100 medley relay and had the fastest 100 fly time. That was his last event and the relay earned silver. Without Dressel’s 100 fly fast swim, the US might not have medaled.
My son and swim team friend winning the high school Physics cardboard boat race in the city pool. She competed in Beijing and London Olympics in distance freestyle races.
From my 2021 post:
I wrote a an article called Why Isn’t Caeleb Dressel a Household Name? for SwimSwam in 2018. Dressel had competed in NCAA championships and had broken barriers like the 40-second mark in the 100-yard freestyle. But at the time, only swim nerds knew his name.
After the Tokyo Olympics, I’m sure he will be better known, but after the Olympics fades away will his name fade, too?
Swimming like gymnastics are collegiate sports and there’s not much attention to them until Olympic years. It all comes down to money in my opinion. Football and basketball are money makers for schools. Swimming loses revenue. No fans are buying tickets, the meets are free and sparsely attended. The pool costs money to maintain.
During my years as a swim parent, I wondered how to get swimming to be more popular. In 2019 the International Swimming League began holding competitions.There are teams in the US and abroad filled with the world’s swimming stars. The teams compete against each other and it gives swimmers a chance to earn money, race and hopefully get more fans to appreciate swimming. But it isn’t televised, at least I haven’t seen it. I think it’s live streamed.
Here’s a post from X that I loved on Sunday, August 4, 2024. It’s from my editor at SwimSwam:
Here’s the article I wrote that mentions Caeleb Dressel and wonders how to get more people into swimming:
We witnessed amazing things this past weekend watching the 2018 Men’s D1 NCAA meet. Who can believe that a human being broke 40 seconds in the 100 free, or 18 seconds in the 50 free—not to mention 43 seconds in the 100 fly? Caeleb Dressel should be a household name this week after breaking through these barriers at his final meet as a senior swimming for the University of Florida.
We watched from home on the computer, something that wasn’t possible years ago. The live stream was clear, the narration entertaining and professional. I remember trying to watch one of our friend’s kids at Trials in 2008 and the production quality wasn’t great and the livestream paused repeatedly. Swim coverage has improved significantly through the years, but I wonder if the audience has increased?
Of course, Olympic sports don’t get the attention at the collegiate level as the big money sports, like football and basketball. In addition, we hear heartbreaking news of universities canceling swim programs regardless of high GPAs or how many times the teams win conference meets, like the recent news of Eastern Michigan University. We have to wait every four years for the Olympics to come around to show the nation how great our swimmers are. Is there anything we can do as swim enthusiasts to change this? In all reality, probably not much. I personally don’t have the power to change TV schedules or viewing habits, but I can work on several little things.
Here are a few ideas about how we can help the popularity of swimming:
ONE
Scorekeeping. We’ve had friends come to meets and they don’t know what’s going on because there’s never a score posted. In other sports, you know which team is winning. Is it possible to post scores often and prominently at meets where they are keeping team scores?
TWO
Bring a friend to the pool. Whether your team has a “bring a friend day” or you ask one of your child’s friends to visit practice, we can reach out to more kids and introduce them to swimming.
THREE
Keep swimming fun. One reason why kids quit swimming is it’s “not fun anymore.” By allowing our kids time to goof off with their friends around the pool deck, either before or after practice, and keeping our attitudes light, we may keep our kids in the pool for more years.
FOUR
Invite friends and family to a meet. We can share our excitement and enthusiasm with our friends and family. Maybe not ask them to sit on the deck with us for two or three days, but have them stop by for an hour or two. Explain what’s going on so they can follow along and maybe they’ll catch the swimming bug.
FIVE
Be an ambassador. Talk about swimming with your non-swimming friends and share how much the sport has helped your kids. Encourage friends at any age to get into the pool and enjoy the great feeling of floating in the water. It’s never too late to join a Masters team.
My daughter has her foot on the blocks as they dive in for the 200 free. The swimmer in the lead is Olympic medalist Abbey Weitzeil. This was the summer of 2013, while they were still in high school.
Are you watching the Olympics? What are your favorite sports to watch? Do you keep track of those sports on off Olympic years? Also, what do you think of this year’s Olympics with all the ups, downs, and drama?
The US Olympic Trials for swimming began Saturday. It’s bittersweet to watch. On one hand I’m excited to see who makes the Olympic Team for Paris. On the other hand, I miss being at swim meets cheering on my kids and spending time with other swim parents.
One of my favorite parts of watching Olympics are the stories about the athletes. Throughout the broadcast, there are personal background stories about individual athletes. When I feel a connection, or am impressed with what the athlete has overcome and persevered, I find myself invested and rooting for that person.
Although it’s not the Olympics yet, three stories stood out to me on day one of Olympic Trials:
Katie Ledecky
Also known as Katie “Freaking” Ledecky, she has earned more gold medals than Michael Phelps. From her X bio: 3x U.S. Olympic Swimmer – 7x Gold-Medalist. 21x World Champion. 16x World Record Breaker. Stanford grad.
I’ll add to that: “The greatest female swimmer of all time.”
On day one of Trials, the 27-year-old Ledecky earned her spot on the US Olympic Team by swimming the 400 Meter Freestyle in under four minutes. So now she can update her bio to say 4x U.S. Olympic Swimmer.
Ledecky has revolutionized the sport by breaking barriers and opening a path for those following her. A swim dad friend, who has two daughters who medaled at the Olympics, told me Ledecky made the impossible possible. She has opened opportunities for young girls who believe they can swim those times, too. Ledecky has made the sport faster.
Gretchen Walsh
Gretchen Walsh, age 21, added excitement to day one by breaking a world record in the 100 fly in semi-finals. This is the first world record broken at Olympic Trials swimming since 2008. She broke Swedish swimmer Sarah Sjostrom‘s 2016 world record of 55.48.
Even though she is now the world record holder in the 100 fly, she hasn’t made the US Olympic Team. She has to place first or second in finals to earn a spot — there are only two swimmers per event who make the team. I am rooting for her! Also her sister Alex, age 23, is competing in Olympic Trials, but they swim different events.
UPDATE: SHE DID IT! She’s on the team coming in first place last night at finals!!
Aaron Shackell
I watched 19-year-old Aaron Shackell from Carmel, Indiana win the 400 meter free, earning his spot on the Olympic Team. He’s young and hasn’t been in too many elite level meets. But he had plenty of confidence and speed swimming before the crowd of 20,000 at Trials held in his home state. Instead of holding Olympic Trials in a Natatorium, they built a pool in a football stadium.
During his post swim interview, Elizabeth Biesel asked when he first wanted to go to the Olympics. He said it was in kindergarten, when he learned his dad was an Olympic swimmer. Hard word since kindergarten through his freshman year of college paid off. His Olympic career is mostly likely just beginning with plenty of years ahead.
Do you watch the Olympics? What is your favorite sport to watch?
Once upon a time, we were crazy swim parents. Yes, those kind of parents.
I read an article in the WSJ yesterday that brought fond memories of those days.
It was called “A Tribute to the Inane Dramas of Sideline Parents: Who would have thought I’d miss all that groaning, whining and anguish?” by Joe Queenan.
Here’s an excerpt:
One of the worst things about watching your kids grow up is that you no longer get to witness the uniquely idiotic, yet oddly entertaining, behavior of parents at kids’ ballgames.
When my daughter started playing league soccer at age 6, parents would go out of their way to film every minute of every game. That first year, her team went winless and scoreless until the final game of the season. Decades later, the kids’ aging parents can pull those old videos down off the shelf and regale their progeny with untold hours of lovingly documented footage of utterly unproductive prepubescent athletic activity. Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!
I actually miss this inanity. As a connoisseur of boorishness, I miss the anguished complaints about muffed offsides calls, the moaning and groaning about alleged handballs in front of the goal, the conspiratorial suggestions that the referee is blind.
Although I don’t miss riding the roller coaster of being a crazy swim parent — or watching parents who were downright abusive — I do miss six things about going to swim meets.
ONE
Spending time together. When you’re away for a few days with your swimmer, you have a captive audience. There’s no distraction of eight hours at school, followed by three hours of swim practice, or them hanging out with their non-swim friends. Spending lots of time together, unfettered with household, work, and daily school responsibilities is refreshing. I enjoyed our little bubble of time and treated it like a mini-vacation. We played cards, sang songs, hung out at the beach, and had fun!
TWO
Nap time. When our swimmers were older and had meets with prelims and finals, we found ourselves in the hotel — with our kids — for three to four hours in the middle of the day. They needed to be off their feet and resting. So I’d bring in lunch, relax, and enjoyed the best naps!
THREE
Walking. Being at a meet for days on end, without cooking, cleaning, working, etc. allowed plenty of time to walk. I walked during warm-ups and warm-downs. I walked with my husband, with friends, and by myself. I looked forward to checking out the areas by the pools on foot. Walking got rid of my nervous energy and walking for hours and miles had to be good for me!
FOUR
Friendships. I spent lots of hours with team parents under the pop-up tent. Mostly, swim parents are generous, encouraging and have the common interest of their team and kids’ successes at heart. I made great friends with parents from other teams — as well as swim officials. I looked forward to seeing them at meets. I remember conversations with parents when our kids were leaving for college. We shared our excitement plus our anxieties of being empty nesters. We lived in separate towns with kids on separate teams, yet had so much in common.
FIVE
Watching your swimmer race. What is it about watching your child race that is so rewarding and exciting? I’m not sure, but if you have the answer, please let me know. It was so exciting when they did well. I loved that feeling when I watched their hard work pay off and observed their growth as a person and athlete. It crushed me when goals were missed by mere tenths of seconds and our kids were disappointed.
SIX
Sushi. We ate lots of sushi at swim meets. I scouted for the best sushi restaurants near pools throughout Southern California. My daughter liked to eat sushi at meets, too. It’s healthy, light, provides her with the right fuel to race. We didn’t have a sushi restaurant at home that I liked, so sushi was a treat.
Looking back at your kids’ childhood, what do you miss?
My daughter graduated college and moved to Arizona for a job, before we did. She lived in Tempe for one year before moving to the Bay Area for a swim marketing job.
While our daughter was in Arizona, I loved to visit and spend time with her. We’d walk Waffles at the Tempe Beach Park where there is water and a walking bridge.
Once while we were walking across the bridge, a woman stopped us and asked “Is that Waffles?”
We were dumbfounded. Yes, Waffles had become a bit of a social media star. The marketing team at Utah posted him promoting swim and dive and he had his own Instagram account. But he was no “Doug the Pug.”
It turned out the woman was the wife of a swim coach from my daughter’s team at the University of Utah. So she actually knew Waffles and recognized him. Her husband Herbie Behm swam at ASU, coached at Utah and returned to ASU around the same time my daughter moved to Tempe.
Why am I bringing this up?
Since Wednesday last week, I’ve been watching NCAA Men’s Swimming and Diving Championships. I subscribed to ESPN+ to watch (now I’ll cancel because the swim meet is over.)
I loved watching the meet. It reminded me of being at PAC 12 swimming championships cheering for my daughter and teammates.
What was really exciting was that Herbie’s ASU team won their first NCAA championship in history, topping CAL Bears. So the two top teams were from the PAC 12 — during the final year the conference exists.
When Herbie swam for ASU in 2008, the school decided to cut men’s swimming. At the time, we had two swimmers from our Palm Springs club team swimming for ASU. I remember fundraising to keep the program open. In the end, parents and supporters prevailed by raising $1 million and ASU kept men’s swimming. But they had a hard time getting recruits to a program that could be on the chopping block at any moment. They were near the bottom of the pack at PAC 12s.
Flash forward to 2024 and they are the number one team for Men’s Swimming in the nation. How did they turn their program around? Bob Bowman. The school hired Michael Phelps’ coach in 2015 and he built the program from scratch and brought Herbie on board as assistant coach in 2018. Phelps lives in Scottsdale and he can be found on the deck and in the pool along with other Olympians.
Bowman is obviously an incredible coach. He attracts amazing swimmers like Leon Marchand, who is currently the number one swimmer in the world. You’ll hear his name a ton in Paris 2024 Olympics. Unfortunately, he’s from France and won’t be on the US team.
My daughter believes a ton of credit goes to Herbie who is an innovative coach and breaking new ground.
At NCAAs this year, so many records were broken. It was really exciting to watch.
With the PAC 12 dissolving, I’m worried about future Olympic sports like swimming. Travel to meets in other divisions may be cost prohibitive and impossible for student athletes. In PAC 12s the swim programs without swimming include my alma mater University of Washington, my dad’s University of Oregon, and I’m not sure what else. Men’s swimming isn’t the PAC 12, but more like the PAC 5 or 6 — and that was several years ago.
What do you think of ASU’s rags to riches story — from cutting Men’s swimming to being number one?
