Category Archives: Friends

Beautiful Palm Springs

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This is a photo of the beautiful backdrop of Palm Springs, Mt. San Jacinto, from Ruth Hardy Park, which was a few blocks from our old home.

Why am I writing and posting photos of Palm Springs again?

Because I was there Friday through Sunday. It’s beyond gorgeous looking out the airport windows to the mountain. I forgot how much I missed that!

The night before we left, one of my best friends called and asked if she could pick me up at the airport. She’s the friend who helped us move five years ago. True friends. I wrote about that move HERE.

I was going to take a Lyft to my dad’s skilled nursing facility, but my dear friend drove me and came inside to surprise Dad. He was thrilled to see her. My dad was hospitalized several weeks ago and sent to skilled nursing to rehab. He realized at age 93 and 11 months that he can no longer live alone. It was a relief that he came to this conclusion on his own.

Friday accomplishments: Dad signed power of attorney to me. Dad listed his home with realtors we met in his home Friday. It was a long day for both of us!

The next door neighbors helped all weekend, too, popping in and out. They’ve looked out for Dad for three years.

Saturday was another long day meeting movers and getting them scheduled for Tuesday. Dad will be discharged from skilled nursing and needs a place to sleep by Wednesday night! I tagged what Dad wants moved including artwork, lamps, bed, dresser, dishes, clothing, etc. with yellow stickies.

I taught my dad how to use Lyft, in the event he decides to sell his car 🙏. Also, assisted living will drive residents wherever they want to go — at anytime without charge.

The realtors will schedule Angel View Thrift Shop to pick up everything left behind and prep the house for photos and to show. I don’t have to be there!

I’m exhausted. But Saturday morning I started the day with a walk and coffee with another Palm Springs good friend. We swam masters together, plus our daughters were friends from pre K through high school and beyond. My daughter was a bridesmaid in Kira’s wedding this past summer.

Here’s a crazy coincidence:

My daughter told me yesterday that she visited Kira on Saturday. On the way, my daughter got off on the wrong BART stop (Bay Area Rapid Transit). My daughter was frustrated with her mistake and was looking down at her phone to figure out what to do next. She looked up and saw Kira’s younger sister standing in front of her! The two got back on BART and went to Kira’s house together.

At the same time I was walking and having coffee with my friend, my daughter was with Kira and her sister (my friend’s daughters!)

What could have been a really tough weekend turned out to be special and possible — thanks to friends.

This was our home of 28 years downtown Palm Springs. Our backyard and French doors face Mt. San Jacinto, so we had great views.

This is Tahquitz Canyon Way. We had great views of Mt. San Jacinto on our morning walks.

Also, a great view Sunday morning of the Tahquitz Witch.

What is the Tahquitz Witch?

Cahuilla shaman named Tquits (or Tahquitz), is a malevolent figure from Southern California Native American lore, often appearing as a fiery ball or shadow in Tahquitz Canyon near Palm Springs, said to steal souls and cause strange phenomena like rumbling or earthquakes, with the legend popularized by stories and books, including a local horror tale about a witch-shadow that scares children. 

The Legend Explained

  • The Shaman’s Fall: Tahquitz was a powerful shaman who used his abilities for evil, angering his people, who eventually banished him to a cave in the San Jacinto Mountains, near Tahquitz Canyon.
  • His Spirit: After his defeat by a chief, Tahquitz’s spirit was bound to the canyon and mountains, becoming a source of fear and mystery, notes the YouTube video and the Los Angeles Times.
  • Manifestations: Believers say he appears as:
    • A large, green fireball or shooting star in the night sky.
    • A shadow or silhouette cast on the canyon rocks at certain times.
    • Causes strange ground shaking, rumbling, or animal sounds in the canyon. 
    • The “Witch” Aspect
  • While Tahquitz is a male shaman, the “Witch of Tahquitz” is a common local nickname, especially in children’s tales, describing a witch-like shadow figure that snatches misbehaving children. –AI OVERVIEW

Links to Tahquitz Witch articles:

Beware of the Tahquitz Witch

The Witch of Tahquitz Canyon: October 2020

When have friends helped you out with something significant or simple?

What local legends do you have for your area?

Once in a Blue Moon

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During the weekend, I went with a neighbor to see the latest Richard Linklater movie, “Blue Moon.” My neighbor is social and a brilliant person who invited five other women to lunch and the movie. She frequently has get togethers like a Christmas lunch for 30 women, hosting a wedding shower in her home, and more recently having a birthday party of 12 for a neighbor. She seems to have limitless energy and the ability to organize and get people to show up!

I’ve seen a few Linklater movies that I really liked. The one that stuck with me was “Boyhood” which took place over 12 years, following one boy’s life from childhood to college. Ethan Hawke played the father and Patricia Arquette won an Academy Award for best supporting actress as the mother. I thought it was a remarkable project to undertake filming over so many years.

Linklater’s frequently writes and/or directs movies starring children or teenagers, e.g., Dazed and Confused (1993), School of Rock (2003), Bad News Bears (2005), Boyhood (2014) and Everybody Wants Some!! (2016).

Another common theme in his movies is they take place during one day — with the obvious exception of Boyhood. Blue Moon took place on the opening night of Oklahoma! on Broadway.

It’s the story of Lorenz Hart of Rodgers and Hart fame. After a falling out due to mental instability and alcoholism, Hart is replaced by Oscar Hammerstein. Rodgers and Hart are true opposites. Rodgers is a family man who wants to write music on a strict schedule. Hart rarely gets to bed before morning and spends his life smoking cigars and drinking bourbon in bars.

Although the movie dragged in places and the story isn’t uplifting, the writing is amazing and Ethan Hawke was beyond remarkable. I’ve read his role is worthy of Best Actor honors at the Academy Awards.

What I found especially interesting was the reaction of our row of seven women at the theatre. The woman sitting next to me was sound to sleep through most of the movie.

“Well that was uplifting!” one woman said sarcastically.

“I had such a great time today, in spite of the fact the movie sucked!” another woman said.

I rode home with my neighbor who had arranged the day for us. We drove home talking about all the things that we loved about the movie. I enjoyed what my daughter called an “Easter egg” of Hart talking with E.B. White in the bar and giving him the idea to write about a little mouse named Stuart with a “U” not a “W.”

What movies have you been to with great reviews that you didn’t like?

Then the reverse, what movies did other people not like that you enjoyed?

Official trailer of Blue Moon.

Here’s Billie Holiday’s rendition of the song Blue Moon:

Rested and refreshed

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Saturday our guests left and I had most of the day to myself. I took a long walk and captured this cholla with my iphone. I love the blue sky! I did have to make a trip to the grocery store to restock the fridge. I did a lot of cooking for my guests. My favorite dinner was our last. Chilean sea bass (my favorite fish) and steamed clams (another all time favorite.)

Sunday, I tried to do nothing after another long walk, but sit in the backyard, read and listen to podcasts — and my favorite bird Red. His singing voice is simply a joy to hear. I had a visit to the bird buddy by a female Cardinal. Maybe it’s his mate?

I’m not sure what to name her. Because of her quieter voice and color, I don’t notice her like I do my buddy Red.

Our guests were so kind and grateful. They were here to scout a nearby lake for an upcoming National Spearfishing competition. They are serious and have won world championships before. This is the second visit to the lake for one of them. Then they are coming back to stay with us the week of the competition in April. They will spend more time underwater, looking for where the fish live. I wonder if other teams prepare like this?

I kind of wish I didn’t go all out cooking for them. (But it was nice to get their compliments.)They will be back in a few weeks with the third member of their crew. I may tell them in advance that I won’t be cooking every night! That they need to know they’ll be on their own. Our casita does have a full kitchen and of course they can go to restaurants.

Another photo from Saturday’s walk. I loved the blue sky and contrast with the beautiful plant. Although I don’t know what type if plant it is.

How was your weekend? How did you fill your days?

Don’t you love a good book?

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Thanks to fellow blogger and friend LA from Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50 — for recommending Demon Copperhead. It’s one of the better books I’ve read lately.

I finished it in time to share it with my lunch bunch yesterday. My lunch bunch are two friends I worked with in PR and Advertising 30 years ago. We ended up moving to Arizona a few miles apart. We reconnected after years of not seeing each other. Now we go to lunch once a month together. We share books and talk about TV shows we like.

Here’s what Amazon has to say about Demon Copperhead:

Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, Demon Copperhead is the story of a boy born to a teenaged single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father’s good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. Relayed in his own unsparing voice, Demon braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his own invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damages to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens’ anger and compassion, and above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys, and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.

What books have you read lately that you really liked?

Please share, because I’m putting together a list of books to read this year.

The Toboggan Ride Was Fun

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I wrote this post January 3, 2018. I was in Salt Lake City with my husband and friends. It was my daughter’s senior year of college. I realized I hadn’t skied once in one of the most spectacular areas to ski i the United States. So off I went, skiing five days in a row…

Flashback to January 2018:

IMG_9961A perfect day at Alta, Utah.

All my excitement of the New Year came to a crash on the slopes when I made one turn and lost my balance. I went skidding down the mountain spinning on my back and side—but only after feeling a rather awful snap in my left knee.

I stood after a friendly stranger helped me up and I thought I was okay. I skied a hundred yards more and “yikes!” The pain in my knee was sharp, intense and I collapsed. After a third try with the same result, I told my ski companion that I needed help down the mountain. I crossed my poles and we waited until a ski instructor stopped and called for the ski patrol to come get me.

Long story, short…actually, it’s a short story because it was only the first turn of my third run on a perfectly beautiful, sunny day in Alta. I was lifted into a toboggan with my left leg in a splint and wrapped like a burrito as ski patrol Chris, skied me to a snowmobile patrol, who took me the rest of the way to the clinic. I held onto a little flap of tarp over my head because ski patrol Chris said it would keep the snow kicked up by the snowmobile from hitting my face on the way off the mountain.

IMG_9970-1

My view from the Ski Patrol toboggan.

The nurse, doctor and receptionist were really kind. They empathize with their patients whose vacation has been ruined. In my case, I’m not worried about the torn ACL ruining my skiing days. I’m worried about the rest of this week taking care of my daughter’s house and puppy. (I’m in Salt Lake City, Utah to housesit and puppysit for my daughter, who is with her Utah swim team in Florida for their Christmas training trip. I thought I’d take advantage of her proximity to gorgeous ski resorts and ski for the first time in a decade.)

I have a lot going on and I don’t have time for this. In addition to taking care of the pup, there’s a swim meet I was going to compete in early February. Also, I’m traveling back to Salt Lake for my daughter’s senior day and final dual meet. Plus her final PAC 12 swim meet in Seattle. My cousin is coming to visit. My high school friend plans to stay with me. Yikes again. How do I have surgery and participate in all the momentous occasions ahead? What will I do to keep my sanity without my daily walks and swims?

I think a lot will depend on my attitude and outlook. After a good cry that hasn’t happened yet, I’ll pull myself together and face life every hour the way it’s put before me. I remember after my big accident in college, when I was crossing a street and hit by a pick-up truck going 35 miles per hour, it hit me to appreciate the little blessings in life. Don’t take anything for granted. And live life the best you can.IMG_9968

Another view of the ski slopes at Alta — before my fall.

Back to the present day:

Looking back on that vacation, we did have our son and his future wife with us for a few days. We skied before my accident and that was a highlight. I also tried cross country skiing for the first time with a friend.

It was a long slow process to find normal again after that accident. My orthopedic surgeon recommended putting off surgery for several months, until I got to experience some of my daughter’s milestone’s like her last meet on senior day, taking her and teammates out afterwards and going to PAC 12 Championships. We planned the surgery around my events, so I would have time to recover. Prior to surgery, I wore a brace (and after surgery, too) for months.

I did physical therapy before surgery to strengthen my muscles before the big day. I wasn’t ready for how much my life would slow down after surgery. But I learned to appreciate the small steps I made.

Have you ridden down the slopes in a toboggan?

How have you handled it when life set you back with the unexpected?

What was your attitude like?

What would you do?

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Sunrise view from our backyard.

If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?

That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.

I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.

I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.

I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”

The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.

“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.

“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”

He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.

Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.

What would you do?

Sunset.

Thanksgiving awaits

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The Harris Hawks are feeling right at home in our yard. This was the second day of them hanging out. I wrote about hawks on Wednesday, HERE. This guy is looking mighty plump.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I have mixed emotions about the holiday. I do like getting together with family or friends. I enjoy cooking the meal and having a bounty of leftovers. I enjoy the compliments my Thanksgiving meal gets. It’s satisfying.

But the dark side of Thanksgiving awaits.

Thanksgiving 2021 our dear friend passed away.

Decades earlier: When I was unmarried, living in Seattle, a recent college graduate, this friend (who also lived in Seattle) introduced me to my husband. My husband was visiting for Seafair, which is a summer festival highlighted by hydro races and a Blue Angels show.

As they say, the rest is history.

Eventually our friend left Seattle, sold all his property (real estate was his business) and moved to Arizona. He turned his Seattle real estate into an even greater empire in the Scottsdale/Phoenix area. Prices were way more affordable. Taxes were much better and the business environment was exciting to him.

We would visit our friend in Scottsdale a mile or two from where we now live. We would drive for the weekend from Palm Springs and stay in his casita. My husband was convinced that when he retired, Arizona was the place to be. We’d say good-bye to the high cost of living and taxes of California and embrace Arizona life.

COVID hit and my husband worked remotely. Home prices were skyrocketing in Palm Springs because people wanted out of apartments in San Francisco and LA. They wanted space, a yard, pool and our prices were much lower. We had a new next door neighbor who moved in from SF with his mom sight unseen and called the home his “COVID” home. He was worried about his elderly mom’s health.

My husband decided that it was time to make our move. Especially since he was working from home. I wasn’t sold on it, but told our kids that I was going to ask for a ridiculous price for our home that nobody would consider. That was my secret plan to stay in my dream home. Our house of almost 30 years sold in four hours with offers above asking. So much for that.

So we moved to Arizona close to our friend. He was our first and only friend in the state. We had been friends for close to 40 years. He loved to grill steaks for us. We had him over to our house for dinner. We watched football together and went out to great sushi restaurants. My husband would help him with his properties on weekends, schlepping refrigerators into apartments, or other DIY stuff. Like I said, that was his business. He appreciated my husband’s help.

He introduced us to his entourage, his brother and wife who also moved from Seattle to Arizona. Then another couple who will be retiring from Seattle to Scottsdale in a few years.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving 2021, he was hospitalized. He had a cough and was having trouble breathing. He was put on a ventilator after a week. He’d call my husband to bring him things from his home, like his razor and a pillow. The hospital tested him eight times for COVID — all negative.

Thanksgiving night, 2021 we had our friends who moved from Palm Springs over for dinner. My husband told them that he was worried about our friend, who was finally diagnosed with Valley Fever. Thinking it was COVID, the hospital had treated him the entire time with antibiotics, which is the wrong thing to do to a fungus like Valley Fever. Antibiotics allowed the fungus to grow unchecked.

The harsh words from our dinner guest, who retired from running the ER in Palm Springs said, “He’s not going to make it.”

He died a few hours later.

What holiday that is supposed to be joyous has dark undertones for you?