Category Archives: Aging

Panic attack

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This owl hung out in our tree for a week.

I had a panic attack last week. It was while driving home from the eye doctor with my husband. He had his eyes dilated so I was the driver. It’s a road I take several times a week. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But then I turned left too soon and found myself in a construction zone with cars rushing around me. I struggled to get back on the road and my husband told me when to go. I couldn’t see. It was a blind rush back into traffic.

After that, I tried to calm my breathing. My hands were shaking and sweaty. I don’t like the drivers in Arizona. They are way worse than California drivers. I ended up pulling off into a parking lot and taking a moment to collect myself.

When I tried driving, I panicked again. I haven’t had a panic attack in at least five or six years. I only have them while driving. I felt so bad about myself. My husband, thankfully, was very supportive and told me I was doing a great job. But I still had a low opinion of myself.

Then I saw an article on well-being called, “How to Calm an Anxious Mind” by Gregory Jantz, Ph.D., founder and director of the mental health clinic The Center: A Place of Hope in Edmonds, Wash.

He gave a list of strategies to regain peace:

Intentionally limit information intake

Choose to be thankful

Go against the frantic flow

Stop procrastinating

Set aside time for stillness and silence

Make a small change to alleviate big stress

Steer clear of negative people

Take a nap

Unplug for awhile

Write in a journal or notebook

Retrain your brain with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Stay connected to friends and family

Maintain activities that replenish you

Express yourself creatively

I like this list and there are a few areas I excel at and other I need to work on.

Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks?

From the list, what can you improve on?

Happy Friday!

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I have never seen this cactus bloom before, let alone in August! Must have been our recent monsoon.

I’m wondering what happened with the week? It rushed by. Usually the dog days of summer in the desert are slow to pass. But not this week.

What was I up to this week?

On the weekend, we made dinner for newish friends of ours. We cooked an all American meal of ribs (my husband), potato salad, corn on the cob and cherry pie (me.) We met these friends at the funeral of our friend who introduced me to my husband 40 years ago. He died suddenly from Valley Fever after we moved to Arizona. Our friends we had over for dinner were his brother and wife who moved to Arizona from Seattle. A circle of new friends all bought homes in Arizona, including us and another couple from Kirkland, because of this one friend. We’ve all pledged to keep his memory alive and get together several times a year.

The next busy moments came Monday morning meeting to brainstorm with my newsletter co-hort to write and layout the quarterly HOA newsletter. I’m proud to say that after 30-plus years of “newslettering,” I returned to my roots. We initiated a new process this issue that worked and the President of the HOA approved.

I compiled all the copy in a word document and sent it to the board to approve — prior to spending hours laying it out. This was similar to my early PR days, before desktop publishing and Mac computers. I would drive copy to the typesetter and then get it approved before giving copy to graphic designers to layout. Or, do the layout myself.

This is saved me countless revisions. It was annoying to have the newsletter all ready to go, and then have five board members give their two cents worth on what to change — one by one.

Other than the newsletter, which took up most of Monday and Tuesday, I had my first hair appointment since April. My hairdresser, who I love, went on maternity leave and it wasn’t worth it to me to try someone new for a one off appointment. It was fun to learn how my hairdresser is totally amazed and feels blessed with motherhood. She wasn’t expecting the dramatic love and emotions she’s experiencing now.

Thursday was a doctor’s appointment for my husband that I drove to. It was his final cataract appointment. He has new-fangled lenses that can be adjusted post-surgery with a laser light. It meant four or five extra appointments, but it’s supposed to make vision sharper.

Now that it’s Friday, we’re meeting friends who moved here from Palm Springs for dinner. But I have the day free to relax, read and comment on posts. I might visit the library, too.

I feel like one of my husband’s older clients from decades ago. My husband would call them to come into his office for an appointment. Often they’d respond, “Oh I can’t make it Wednesday. I have a doctor’s appointment.” Those were the days I was volunteering at school, taking kids to piano lessons, packing lunches, making dinners and volunteering at swim meets. I always wondered why people thought they were busy doing one “main thing” a day. Now I know!

How did your week go? Did it flash by quickly or seem slow?

What were some highlights of the week?

Back in the PR biz again

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Desert view from a morning walk outside the McDowell Sonoran Preserve.

I was asked a few months ago if I’d like to join the Board of Directors of the women’s group I belong to. The focus of the group is to raise funds for a residential facility for women who have been sex trafficked. We also clean out our closets, donate our clothes and purchase any items they need like deodorant and new underwear. I’ve written about the Dream Center HERE and HERE. The center provides medical care, eye care, clothing, psychologists, education and religious services if wanted.

The sad thing about my group of women is the club used to have 250 members. Now we’re at about 35. There’s not a whole lot of money raised by 35 people. What happened? COVID shutdowns plus an aging membership. I’m one of the new and young members — in my 60s!

In the end, I said yes and a neighbor friend also agreed to be on the board. Our first meeting was last month and I immediately knew what I would do. I agreed to be in charge of communication. My first project was to create a new brochure. Now I’m working on a sponsorship packet. After that it will be press releases. Back to my old career in the PR Biz.

I could see that communication was an area that could be improved. I’m glad I have experience and who knows? Maybe we can grow our organization back to where it will have a greater impact on the human trafficked teens and young women.

Then I saw this article:

42 arrested in Scottsdale human trafficking operation

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – A human trafficking operation in Scottsdale led to the arrest of dozens of suspects, police said.

Scottsdale Police say they conducted an operation on July 12-13 “to arrest sex buyers, child predators, and individuals involved with the sex trade and trafficking.” https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/42-arrested-in-scottsdale-human-trafficking-operation/ar-BB1qdslq

Forty-two arrested? In two days?

What type of volunteering are you doing now or have done in the past?

Happy Anniversary!

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My husband has been fighting this bunny because it eats our plants. But every afternoon bunny crawls under the chicken wire into the pot and munches away.

Yesterday was our 39th wedding anniversary. Really! I must have gotten married as a 10 year old.

For our outings together, we’ve been hanging out at doctors offices. I guess that’s to be expected after decades of marriage. It’s no longer spur-of-the-moment camping trips at the beach, or heading up to the mountains for a day of skiing.

Nope. My husband had cataract surgeries and the last few weeks I’ve been driving him to appointments and sitting in waiting rooms with a book. He did the same for me a few years ago when it was my turn for cataract surgery.

We had eight years of marriage before kids. Some of my earliest memories of life together were searching the sofa and our pockets for spare change. When we’d find a dollar, we’d buy three-for-one tacos at Jack in the Box. I ate Top Ramen every day for lunch. But those were fun days.

Then there were the busy days of raising kids. My husband was a super involved dad because he grew up without one. I’m not sure if our kids appreciated that or not. Then the kids grew up and started their adult lives. I’m grateful for how close we are with them. I love getting calls for no reason, but to chat while they’re out for walks.

These past years, our main activity together is our early morning hour-long walk (He’s been going alone because of my broken toes.) I can’t wait to get back to walking with him every day. It’s a quieter time in our marriage, but I love my husband as much or more than day one.

wedding photo
Thirty-nine years ago.

Here’s to 39 more years and happy memories!

What changes do you see in your marriage or relationship through the years?

Broken toes

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I spotted these blooms in the backyard which is amazing for July. They only lasted a day or two.

A few days before our trip to New York, our AC went out in the master bedroom. Now that it’s more than 100 degrees outside, that was not a good thing. We slept in the casita for a few nights until a repairman fixed the AC. One night, I got up to use the bathroom and smacked my toes on the bed post.

It was loud! It really hurt! I woke my husband up obviously.

So, off to New York City and Connecticut, where I could barely walk. Once home from the trip, I realized I still couldn’t make my morning walks. I’m still in pain. It’s frustrating as I sit looking out the window.

I’m not one who gets bored easily. I’m usually content reading or writing. But the lack of exercise isn’t helping. I have jumped in the pool to kick. It’s better than nothing. Plus, I’m lifting weights.

My biggest thrill right now is birdwatching.

Here’s a video of my baby quail:

How do you entertain yourself, if you’re injured? Any suggestions?

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” AA. Milne

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar …

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NOTE: I wrote this blog post 10 years ago this week. It’s a look back to my school days — wedged into a visit with my son and his girlfriend (now wife) while I was visiting them at UC Santa Barbara. Also, there’s a link to my daughter-in-law’s poetry.

During my weekend visit with my son at UCSB, we discovered how far women have come from my generation to his. (Yes, I’m talking about the same son that tried to give away the cat on Facebook — read about that HERE. And, he’s the one that wrote about his crazy mom for his senior project — read about that HERE)

We were out to dinner at The Palms in Carpinteria, where you grill your own steaks or halibut, with one of my best friends, my son Robert, and his girlfriend (She’s a poet and an CCS English Lit major. You can read some of her poetry HERE).

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My friend and I talked about home ec, and we wondered if it was offered as a major in this day and age? My mom was a home ec major in the 1950s, by the way.

My son said, “They really DID have an MRS degree!”

“Not only was it a college major,” I said, “but we were required to take home ec in high school.”

“Only the girls, that is,” my friend said.

“WHAT?!” both Robert and his girlfriend were horrified. How alien to their lives is a gender-based school requirement. We explained that the boys took wood-working or shop.

My son thought for minute and asked, “What did you learn in home ec?”

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“Scrambled eggs, sewing an apron, sex ed, how to clip coupons and general household budgeting,” I answered.

“All of those things should be taught to men and women,” the kids said.  

I think they are right.

Thinking of those days, made me remember Helen Reddy, and her song, “I Am Woman” 

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Do colleges or high schools still offer home ec?

Do you think home ec should be required for both men and women?

What other life skills do you think need to be taught in school?

Am I THAT old?

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A photo my mom took when I introduced her to my future hubby. This was close to 40 years ago!

Yesterday, I slept in. I didn’t have a great night’s sleep and rather than get out of bed before 5 a.m. to take a walk before the heat hit, I stayed in bed. When I got out of bed at 6:30 a.m. it was already too hot to walk.

I decided I’d go to the gym. I needed exercise after all, so why not try something new? Mix it up a bit. I checked out the schedule of classes looking for something with dance. Zumba Gold sounded fun. I’d be inside a nice air-conditioned building. Plus maybe I’d like it and I’d keep going.

Then I read the description:

Easy-to-follow program that lets you move to the beat at a slower rhythm than a regular Zumba class!

No! Not for me. It’s probably filled with old people, I thought. I wouldn’t dream of going to that class.

Then, I thought about it again Maybe the class WAS designed for me. I have a bad knee and a hurt foot. I’m not 20 or 30 years old. I’m almost old enough for Medicare.

I made up my mind to check it out and see if the people in class WERE my age!

The plan was to see if it was filled with ancient people decades older than me. If so, I’d head to the elliptical machine and weights. Or, I could take the class anyway to see if I liked it.

Earlier, on my way to the grocery store, I was listening to the radio. The Eagles “Lyin’ Eyes” was playing. The DJ said the song came out 54 years ago! Say it ain’t so!

When it came time to go the gym, I felt unstable as the room spun around me. Vertigo. I get it every three or four years, fortunately not very often. Not a good idea to “move to the beat at a slower rhythm” at Zumba after all — no matter what the speed. I’ll try again on another day.

When have you been surprised about your age or realizing your not that young anymore?