I tried to write my morning pages, but Olive had other ideas.
Olive has structure to her life. She has a routine that she closely follows.
5 a.m. She munches a bit of dry food.
5:10 a.m. Olive jumps on the bed to snuggle in and sleeps with us and stays on the bed after we get up.
9 a.m. She goes to her grassy patch and watches birds through the sliding glass door.
10 a.m. She sleeps on the rug in the sun.
11 a.m. Olive enters my husband’s office to jump on his lap.
2 p.m. Olive walks into the casita and wants me to stop writing. She wants me to read or watch TV on the sofa so she can lay down on my stomach.
4 p.m. It’s time for Friskies ‘Lil Soup. It’s a treat I give her after I call “Kitty Soup” and she answers “Meow-oup.”
And on it goes.
Yesterday there was no kitty on our bed. She didn’t snuggle us. She didn’t try to get on my lap while I wrote my morning pages. She wasn’t on her grassy patch or in my husband’s office.
She walked nonchalantly into the Casita a few hours later and stood under the end table by the sofa. From there she stared at me. Then she walked away and we haven’t seen her since.
I feel like I’m getting the cold shoulder from our cat. I wonder what did I do wrong to be treated with indifference? Or, perhaps she is reminding me that she’s a cat.
What are your pets’ routines? Do you think something is wrong when they vary from routines?
My kids with our yellow lab Angus. We adopted Angus from Guide Dogs when he was seven months old and wasn’t making the cut in the program. He was ours for 15 years.
Have you ever had a dream where your deceased pet is alive? I had one last night. I was on vacation and my golden retriever Pepi was with me. She looked so happy, healthy and her fur was so soft.
I told someone in my dream, “Doesn’t Pepi look good? Can you believe she was born in 1970?”
Next in my dream, I was frantically looking for Natasha, our rottie who died in the late 1990s. I sometimes have dreams with both Natasha and Pepi together. They usually are running and playing in fields ahead of me.
I feel so comforted when I have dreams with my pets, whether it’s Natasha, Pepi or Angus. They are my three dogs who crossed the rainbow bridge. It’s like a gift that I get to spend a little more time with them.
Pepi was in a litter of ten born to our golden retriever Kim — on my birthday — when I was in kindergarten. My dad sold all the puppies but Pepi, who was my childhood dog until she got hit chasing a car while I was away in college.
It offers five characteristics that people report about their dreams of pets. The dreams attest to the animal human connection we share. Here’s the one characteristic that rings true in my dreams:
The deceased pet often appeared young and healthy.
“My girl came to me full of life, love and happiness.”
―Anonymous
“(My dog) was completely healed.”
―Anonymous
In many visitation dreams, the deceased pets appeared not in their afflicted or stricken states toward the end of their lives. Instead, they are young, energetic, and healthy. The pets would play and interact with their owners in the dream.
Do you have dreams that include your pets? Are the pets in your dreams ones you lost years ago? How do you feel when you experience one of these dreams?
I made it to the Bay Area to help my daughter who has COVID. I’ve been wondering how much help I can be, since I can’t be with her? If I can’t do much, I’m looking forward to quiet time alone writing.
So far, it turns out — more time than I thought.
I didn’t arrive until evening to my airbnb which is .2 miles from her apartment. The problem is she’s on quarantine and can’t leave her apartment. I’m not sure what the protocol is these days, but I can guarantee she hasn’t hit it yet.
She texted me a list of groceries. I asked if I could go to the Berkeley Bowl to get the items on her list. It’s one of my favorite places to go to when I visit the kids. This running errands will be a treat if it includes the Berkeley Bowl! I blogged about it HERE.
I picked up clam chowder and a salad for my own dinner and a few groceries for my airbnb mini-fridge along with her list. When I dropped off her groceries at her doorstep, we waved at each other through her window.
I walked back to the airbnb and sat to savor the Berkeley Bowl clam chowder. It’s so delicious. I called my son and we were talking about plans for tomorrow’s dinner. He may be recovering from foot surgery, but he doesn’t have COVID. We can be together in person.
That’s when I got a call from daughter asking me to take Waffles the pug to the ER. He’s been having issues with his tummy. I wrote about it HERE a few days ago. Waffles has been throwing up and hasn’t recovered from chicken bones. The animal ER won’t let my daughter with COVID inside.
I sat for more than two hours with Waffles in the waiting room. My daughter texted me the recent details since I was traveling from Arizona and not totally up to date. We — the vet, the vet’s assistant and my daughter on the phone — decided not to hospitalize Waffles last night, but to bring him back in the morning if he doesn’t improve.
I’m wondering what tomorrow’s role as mom and dog grandma will bring? What’s driving me crazy is to be so close to my daughter, but not being able to give her a hug.
Have you traveled to help your kids away from home? How have you helped? How have you helped family members with COVID?
Four years ago this week, my husband and I drove up to the high desert and adopted this adorable creature our daughter named Waffles. At the time, she was going through anxiety and we felt this puppy’s unconditional love and enjoyment would benefit her. Some questioned whether a college student could handle a pup, but we did our best to train him for a few months before she took him to school. We did our research and learned that pugs are the perfect “apartment dogs” because they sleep all day when their owners are gone at work or school.
Waffles, our 12-week old pug.
I think we bit off more than we can chew! We thought it would be nice for our daughter to have a companion in the form of an animal. She’s out of state in college and busy with academics plus D1 swimming, and we thought a puppy would bring a lot of joy and fun into her daily life.
She asked permission of her landlord, and even though her lease says “no pets,” he agreed to a small dog. We decided the puppy would be a present for Christmas.
Waffles turns into a pancake when I try to walk him.
Our daughter wanted a pug and thinks they are so cute. They are. I’ll agree to that. We looked into suitable breeds, and besides the two negatives of snoring and shedding, pugs appear to be an easy going breed requiring very little care.
But the puppy thing. I’m on day five and I think puppy is winning the battle. It’s like having an infant again. I have to watch him constantly. He doesn’t sleep through the night, and when he’s crawling on his belly through the yard, I never know what is going to end up in his mouth. I knew we were in for trouble when we drove Waffles home for an hour and a half drive. He was squirming all the way, nipping and licking my neck and fingers. Finally, as we drove into town he fell asleep. That’s what my son would do in his car seat during long drives.
I’m crate training, potty training and my daily life suddenly got very busy and tiring. Why we think our daughter can handle this is beyond me. Of course, she does have youth on her side. And Waffles is so darn cute!
Olive the cat is not sure about any of this. What did we do???
Waffles became a media star on @dogrates and the University of Utah Swim and Dive team.
I keep on promising to write in my gratitude journal. But somehow this crazy 2020 leaves me less than grateful. That’s probably why I need to commit to it more than ever. There’s an exercise known as “Three Blessings” that I should complete every evening for months on end. This is the plan: every evening write three things I’m thankful for that happened during the day. They may be little things, like something beautiful I saw on a walk, or bigger like a new writing job referral. Then after each, I explain why the moment happened. It’s an exercise I learned about from a book called “Flourish” by Martin E.P. Seligman. He says in his book that this exercise has been proven to be just as effective as taking anti-depressants in fighting depression! I find it as a nice way to get grounded after a busy day and reflect on everything that is going well.
I try to have an attitude of gratitude. I didn’t realize how many benefits being grateful brings to your life until I read “Gratitude yields health and social benefits” by Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman in the Sarasota Herald Tribune.
Here’s what they had to say:
Positive emotions such as gratitude open our minds.
With Thanksgiving having passed, we may want a jump start on our New Year’s resolutions. Research shows such a long list of health and social benefits that families might want to focus on cultivating an attitude of gratitude all year long.
Researchers at Northeastern University found that grateful people are more likely to be patient and make wiser decisions.
Gratitude also makes us more likely to take better care of ourselves. In one psychology journal, a study showed that a grateful attitude correlated to a greater willingness to eat healthier foods, exercise more and go to the doctor. Some research even shows that being appreciative boosts willpower.
Counting our blessings before bedtime can also translate to better sleep. One researcher said it may help soothe the nervous system. Not only can gratitude improve our quality of sleep, it can also help us fall asleep faster and sleep longer.
The health benefits of gratitude can’t be overstated. It’s been shown to decrease physical pain, reduce symptoms associated with depression, decrease blood pressure and boost energy levels. In fact, simply cultivating a lifestyle of gratitude can add an average of seven years to your lifespan.
Being grateful also makes us more resilient, less envious, more optimistic, kinder and more social. It’s no wonder that the more grateful a person is, the more likely the person is to have strong social connections, healthier marriages, larger friendship circles and improved networking skills.
Not only does gratitude have the power to transform our health, our social lives and our careers, it can transform our personalities. Research shows that gratitude contributes to a wide range of positive character traits. It makes us humble and it makes us more generous. Together, these traits combat entitlement and self-centeredness. Grateful people are more willing and able to focus on others and can therefore contribute more broadly to their communities.
We the parents have both the opportunity and the obligation to raise children who will have a positive and transformative effect on the future. As we focus on grooming an attitude of gratitude in our kids, we are not only improving their own quality of life but we are helping to change the world one child at a time.
I do believe it’s our duty as parents to instill gratitude as a trait our kids should embrace. One way is to start a gratitude journal. Another tip is to ask your children at dinner or bedtime to name three things they’re grateful for. In the book I’m reading called “Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance” by Julia Cameron, has exercises to list 10 things you cherish. Another day there I was asked to write 10 things I’m thankful for. It’s not a bad thing to do. By the way, I gave my husband a journal of gratitude and he’s enjoying writing a few things each day.
As parents, I think we need to let our kids and family know how much they mean to us. It’s that time of year!
The kitty is missing. I haven’t seen her today and it’s been about 12 hours. She likes to hide away and sleep during the day, so maybe she hasn’t woken up from her catnap.
We have too much stuff going on right now in and around the house. After living here for 28 years, we are having the exterior painted. We have taken out the baby gates around the pool along with a hedge where Olive the cat used to hide. We have a handyman making repairs and painting the laundry room and a crew of six painters outside with loud machinery. So there’s no safe place inside or outside for Olive.
She doesn’t like strangers and our friends who house-and-kitty-sit don’t believe we actually own a cat. When anyone besides me, my husband or my daughter are around, the kitty becomes invisible.
I’m trusting she’ll make her appearance when the painters and the handyman depart today. I’ll let you know. I’m a little worried and I don’t think I can take anymore upsets this year.
Nine years ago we adopted this pretty kitty with polydactyl paws.
Have you owned a cat who liked to hide for hours on end? Where were the favorite hiding places?
Are you a dog or cat parent as well as a parent of live human beings? If so, you may have a certain parenting style, whether it’s laid back or more authoritarian with your kids. I thought I knew my parenting style but I learned that we may be off on our assessment. My kids said I was very strict and a perfectionist while I viewed myself as laissez faire and carefree. Funny how our viewpoints differ.
I read a story that said that the style we use to parent our kids is often how we parent our pets. In 10 dog parenting styles and what they reveal about the pet-owner bond written by Lisa Walden in Country Living UK, she asks “Are you a ‘Goose’ or a ‘Traffic Light’ dog parent?” Here’s an excerpt:
You might have a distinct parenting style when it comes to raising your children, but do you have any particular parenting methods when it comes to your pets?
The team at animal wellbeing specialists ITCHpet.com have uncovered the most popular pet parenting styles and the meanings behind each of them. From firm ‘Constables’ to the protective ‘Goose’, these personas show just how many of us treat our furry friends like one of the family.
A study of 1,834 dog and cat owners found that around 29% adopt similar styles of parenting to their children and pets, while only 16% use a completely different style of parenting with their children compared to the one they use with their dog or cat.
“Pet parent personas have become more common in line with our growing desire to humanise pets to ensure they feel like one of the family. It’s fascinating to discover that there are clearly different categories or ‘personas when it comes to pet paw’renting,” Professor Peter Neville, a pet behavioural expert, said.
Walden breaks the parenting styles into ten types including the Traffic Light, Hy-Paw-Chondriac and Sergeant Major. I see myself as #2 Entranced when it comes to Olive the cat as well as my kids. My kids may categorize me as a cross between Hy-Paw-Chondriac and Sergeant Major. Here’s the first three parenting styles with descriptions. To read all ten be sure to click on the link here.
Want to decode your pet parenting style? Take a look at the various ones below:
1. Traffic Light
This is the most popular style of parenting for dog and cat owners. Peter says: “Traffic Light pet owners have a healthy balance of rules and freedom. Pets might be given the red light when it comes to surfaces or the bed, but these owners enjoy nothing better than giving them the go-ahead to roam freely in the park.
“Be a Traffic Light and give clear and consistent signals, not same signals and different outcomes. If you say, ‘yes good’, it’s always ‘yes, good’. Don’t look imploringly then treat. Be consistent in rewarding from day one.”
2. Entranced
The second most popular pet parenting style is Entranced. Peter explains: “These people have the best intentions, but as soon as their pet locks eyes with them and gives their command, they’re toast …. as they turn to putty in their paws.
“Entranced owners are at their pet’s beck and call, even if it’s 4am and their furry friend is sat on their chest glaring intently wanting breakfast.”
3. Sloth
“The most laid-back of the types is the ‘Sloth’ (14%). Dogs and cats who are lucky enough to have a sloth for a paw-rent are the envy of the street’s pet-life – as they are spoiled rotten.
“These guys are the champion of chill, anything goes. There’s a peacefulness in being gentle and easy-going. Rather than strict training, they encourage their pet to work things out for themselves.”
My kids and Waffles
Do you have kids and pets? How do you view your parenting style with your kids and pets? Also, have you asked your kids how they categorize your parenting?
