Four years ago this week, my husband and I drove up to the high desert and adopted this adorable creature our daughter named Waffles. At the time, she was going through anxiety and we felt this puppy’s unconditional love and enjoyment would benefit her. Some questioned whether a college student could handle a pup, but we did our best to train him for a few months before she took him to school. We did our research and learned that pugs are the perfect “apartment dogs” because they sleep all day when their owners are gone at work or school.
Waffles, our 12-week old pug.
I think we bit off more than we can chew! We thought it would be nice for our daughter to have a companion in the form of an animal. She’s out of state in college and busy with academics plus D1 swimming, and we thought a puppy would bring a lot of joy and fun into her daily life.
She asked permission of her landlord, and even though her lease says “no pets,” he agreed to a small dog. We decided the puppy would be a present for Christmas.
Waffles turns into a pancake when I try to walk him.
Our daughter wanted a pug and thinks they are so cute. They are. I’ll agree to that. We looked into suitable breeds, and besides the two negatives of snoring and shedding, pugs appear to be an easy going breed requiring very little care.
But the puppy thing. I’m on day five and I think puppy is winning the battle. It’s like having an infant again. I have to watch him constantly. He doesn’t sleep through the night, and when he’s crawling on his belly through the yard, I never know what is going to end up in his mouth. I knew we were in for trouble when we drove Waffles home for an hour and a half drive. He was squirming all the way, nipping and licking my neck and fingers. Finally, as we drove into town he fell asleep. That’s what my son would do in his car seat during long drives.
I’m crate training, potty training and my daily life suddenly got very busy and tiring. Why we think our daughter can handle this is beyond me. Of course, she does have youth on her side. And Waffles is so darn cute!
Olive the cat is not sure about any of this. What did we do???
Waffles became a media star on @dogrates and the University of Utah Swim and Dive team.
I keep on promising to write in my gratitude journal. But somehow this crazy 2020 leaves me less than grateful. That’s probably why I need to commit to it more than ever. There’s an exercise known as “Three Blessings” that I should complete every evening for months on end. This is the plan: every evening write three things I’m thankful for that happened during the day. They may be little things, like something beautiful I saw on a walk, or bigger like a new writing job referral. Then after each, I explain why the moment happened. It’s an exercise I learned about from a book called “Flourish” by Martin E.P. Seligman. He says in his book that this exercise has been proven to be just as effective as taking anti-depressants in fighting depression! I find it as a nice way to get grounded after a busy day and reflect on everything that is going well.
I try to have an attitude of gratitude. I didn’t realize how many benefits being grateful brings to your life until I read “Gratitude yields health and social benefits” by Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman in the Sarasota Herald Tribune.
Here’s what they had to say:
Positive emotions such as gratitude open our minds.
With Thanksgiving having passed, we may want a jump start on our New Year’s resolutions. Research shows such a long list of health and social benefits that families might want to focus on cultivating an attitude of gratitude all year long.
Researchers at Northeastern University found that grateful people are more likely to be patient and make wiser decisions.
Gratitude also makes us more likely to take better care of ourselves. In one psychology journal, a study showed that a grateful attitude correlated to a greater willingness to eat healthier foods, exercise more and go to the doctor. Some research even shows that being appreciative boosts willpower.
Counting our blessings before bedtime can also translate to better sleep. One researcher said it may help soothe the nervous system. Not only can gratitude improve our quality of sleep, it can also help us fall asleep faster and sleep longer.
The health benefits of gratitude can’t be overstated. It’s been shown to decrease physical pain, reduce symptoms associated with depression, decrease blood pressure and boost energy levels. In fact, simply cultivating a lifestyle of gratitude can add an average of seven years to your lifespan.
Being grateful also makes us more resilient, less envious, more optimistic, kinder and more social. It’s no wonder that the more grateful a person is, the more likely the person is to have strong social connections, healthier marriages, larger friendship circles and improved networking skills.
Not only does gratitude have the power to transform our health, our social lives and our careers, it can transform our personalities. Research shows that gratitude contributes to a wide range of positive character traits. It makes us humble and it makes us more generous. Together, these traits combat entitlement and self-centeredness. Grateful people are more willing and able to focus on others and can therefore contribute more broadly to their communities.
We the parents have both the opportunity and the obligation to raise children who will have a positive and transformative effect on the future. As we focus on grooming an attitude of gratitude in our kids, we are not only improving their own quality of life but we are helping to change the world one child at a time.
I do believe it’s our duty as parents to instill gratitude as a trait our kids should embrace. One way is to start a gratitude journal. Another tip is to ask your children at dinner or bedtime to name three things they’re grateful for. In the book I’m reading called “Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance” by Julia Cameron, has exercises to list 10 things you cherish. Another day there I was asked to write 10 things I’m thankful for. It’s not a bad thing to do. By the way, I gave my husband a journal of gratitude and he’s enjoying writing a few things each day.
As parents, I think we need to let our kids and family know how much they mean to us. It’s that time of year!
The kitty is missing. I haven’t seen her today and it’s been about 12 hours. She likes to hide away and sleep during the day, so maybe she hasn’t woken up from her catnap.
We have too much stuff going on right now in and around the house. After living here for 28 years, we are having the exterior painted. We have taken out the baby gates around the pool along with a hedge where Olive the cat used to hide. We have a handyman making repairs and painting the laundry room and a crew of six painters outside with loud machinery. So there’s no safe place inside or outside for Olive.
She doesn’t like strangers and our friends who house-and-kitty-sit don’t believe we actually own a cat. When anyone besides me, my husband or my daughter are around, the kitty becomes invisible.
I’m trusting she’ll make her appearance when the painters and the handyman depart today. I’ll let you know. I’m a little worried and I don’t think I can take anymore upsets this year.
Nine years ago we adopted this pretty kitty with polydactyl paws.
Have you owned a cat who liked to hide for hours on end? Where were the favorite hiding places?
Are you a dog or cat parent as well as a parent of live human beings? If so, you may have a certain parenting style, whether it’s laid back or more authoritarian with your kids. I thought I knew my parenting style but I learned that we may be off on our assessment. My kids said I was very strict and a perfectionist while I viewed myself as laissez faire and carefree. Funny how our viewpoints differ.
I read a story that said that the style we use to parent our kids is often how we parent our pets. In 10 dog parenting styles and what they reveal about the pet-owner bond written by Lisa Walden in Country Living UK, she asks “Are you a ‘Goose’ or a ‘Traffic Light’ dog parent?” Here’s an excerpt:
You might have a distinct parenting style when it comes to raising your children, but do you have any particular parenting methods when it comes to your pets?
The team at animal wellbeing specialists ITCHpet.com have uncovered the most popular pet parenting styles and the meanings behind each of them. From firm ‘Constables’ to the protective ‘Goose’, these personas show just how many of us treat our furry friends like one of the family.
A study of 1,834 dog and cat owners found that around 29% adopt similar styles of parenting to their children and pets, while only 16% use a completely different style of parenting with their children compared to the one they use with their dog or cat.
“Pet parent personas have become more common in line with our growing desire to humanise pets to ensure they feel like one of the family. It’s fascinating to discover that there are clearly different categories or ‘personas when it comes to pet paw’renting,” Professor Peter Neville, a pet behavioural expert, said.
Walden breaks the parenting styles into ten types including the Traffic Light, Hy-Paw-Chondriac and Sergeant Major. I see myself as #2 Entranced when it comes to Olive the cat as well as my kids. My kids may categorize me as a cross between Hy-Paw-Chondriac and Sergeant Major. Here’s the first three parenting styles with descriptions. To read all ten be sure to click on the link here.
Want to decode your pet parenting style? Take a look at the various ones below:
1. Traffic Light
This is the most popular style of parenting for dog and cat owners. Peter says: “Traffic Light pet owners have a healthy balance of rules and freedom. Pets might be given the red light when it comes to surfaces or the bed, but these owners enjoy nothing better than giving them the go-ahead to roam freely in the park.
“Be a Traffic Light and give clear and consistent signals, not same signals and different outcomes. If you say, ‘yes good’, it’s always ‘yes, good’. Don’t look imploringly then treat. Be consistent in rewarding from day one.”
The second most popular pet parenting style is Entranced. Peter explains: “These people have the best intentions, but as soon as their pet locks eyes with them and gives their command, they’re toast …. as they turn to putty in their paws.
“Entranced owners are at their pet’s beck and call, even if it’s 4am and their furry friend is sat on their chest glaring intently wanting breakfast.”
“The most laid-back of the types is the ‘Sloth’ (14%). Dogs and cats who are lucky enough to have a sloth for a paw-rent are the envy of the street’s pet-life – as they are spoiled rotten.
“These guys are the champion of chill, anything goes. There’s a peacefulness in being gentle and easy-going. Rather than strict training, they encourage their pet to work things out for themselves.”
My kids and Waffles
Do you have kids and pets? How do you view your parenting style with your kids and pets? Also, have you asked your kids how they categorize your parenting?
How are our furry friends handling the stress of the pandemic? Do they like having us around all the time? Well, according to a dog training expert I heard on the radio, if man’s best friend’s behavior has changed, then they may be stressed out. (I’m sorry I can’t remember the name of the dog trainer, but he had some really good advice.)
If we are stressed out, our dogs may become stressed, too. Barking more than usual, destroying things or being super clingy are signs of stress. The trainer said the best thing to do is not yell at your dog when they are barking or rifling through the trash, but instead say, “Come!” Next, work with them for a few minutes so they get focused. Run through a few sits and stays. Our dogs live to please us and they are dying to work for us. Spending a few minutes throughout the day with short training sessions can change their destructive behavior and make them feel better.
If you’re a dog owner, Nelson recommends making adjustments now to help dogs that might experience separation anxiety when you’re not constantly around.
Start by resuming former routines you might have dropped, such as waking up, getting dressed and leaving the house.
“Whether it’s just for 30 minutes or an hour, where you go pick up a coffee through the drive-thru and you sit in your car for a while. It gives your pets a little bit of time without you,” she said.
If you can, Nelson said to try to make your departure time as similar to your usual workday routine. Some dogs might need to revisit the habit of having to spend time in their crates.
Signs of separation anxiety can include dogs destroying things or overly grooming themselves.
“Really good exercise can help a lot with these pets. A tired pet is a good pet,” Nelson said.
The article also talks about cats and typically they aren’t as happy as the puppers to have us around all the time. That’s because cats like to be left alone and they like privacy. They probably believe we are invading their space. Cats definitely differ from dogs — they aren’t living to please us.
Waffles the pug.
How are your pets doing during the pandemic? How have their schedules and routines changed?
I’m in a great mood today! I finally sent off the last of four magazine stories that were on deadline. It fills like a great weight has flown off my shoulders. WooHoo! Now what?
I feel like I can do all the things I’ve been wanting to do, but didn’t have any time, like cleaning out the laundry room, my closet, do the taxes and make tamales with my daughter. We’re also going to try DIY pedicures later today.
The stories I’ve been working on were for trade magazines and I found them interesting, but challenging. I had to call to interview various business during “Shelter in Place” for most of the nation. I made a ton of calls to get a very few live people on the phone. Mostly businesses have a message that they are closed due to COVID-19. But, I eeked out enough and talked with some very interesting people. I learned how they are coping with these strange and uncertain times in places around the country very different from where I live. It was educational to say the least.
Now that I’m done, I’m proud to report that our Shelter in Place is going well. We are all getting along. That’s remarkable, since we have three adults working under one roof.
Too much raw pork makes pup’s tummy ache.
The only problem we encountered was Waffles, who ate last night’s dinner of pork chops while it was defrosting. I had the package out on the counter. My husband moved it into the sun on a bench in the back yard. Waffles jumped up and ate a pound of raw pork and plastic wrap while nobody was watching! He’s finally getting back to normal a day later.
My new scarf-mask look when I leave the house.
What’s going on in your part of the country with Coronavirus? Are you sheltering in place and working from home?
Waffles heard he had to shelter in place for another month.
I’m a little disappointed. I was doing fine with shelter in place and we made it for two weeks without much of a hitch. Then today, when I thought we’d have a couple more weeks to go, we hear on the news that it will be another month. At least.
Truly, I’m thankful for so many things. My daughter is home with Waffles. We have our health, so far. I did have a fever and sore throat for a couple days which led to some scary thoughts. My imagination and worry had me taking my temperature every hour and waking up in the night to take its some more. I’m never one to slow down when I’m sick. But I went to bed and stayed there for the better part of two days. So, maybe bed rest is a good thing when you’re not feeling well? Who knew?
The weather is gorgeous. We’re all thankfully working and able to do so from home. Things are not that bad. The news is scary and the unknown is worse. How long will this last? How many people will get sick or die? Is it going to hit us personally with our friends and loved ones?
In the meantime, I will share a few pet peeves about Sheltering in Place. One, we lost the garage clicker and one fob for a car complete with necessary keys. We have no idea where they are. They disappeared around Day Two of Shelter in Place.
Next, I have a relatives and friends who are thankfully keeping me up-to-date on how everyone in Washington state is doing with Coronavirus. But every message includes a political swipe. I also see this on Facebook from friends and on Twitter from complete strangers. I don’t like the constant complaining and griping during such scary times of a global pandemic. I think we need to take this time to be grateful for each other, realize what we do have — and try to come together. Maybe it’s because people are angry and fearful in these uncertain times and they need to vent their frustrations. Just my penny’s worth.
One other thing, I’m jealous of my friends who are sheltering in place but not working. They are clearing out their homes like there’s no tomorrow. Literally. I’m working everyday and only get to clean out the occasional cupboard or two. If I can get my writing assignments done soon, I’ll be clearing out junk and organizing with the best of them.
How are you getting through the Coronavirus? Have you been sheltering in place and for how long?