Category Archives: Aging

A Day of Rest

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A view from our walk.
View of the desert.

I had several plans for my birthday. I signed up for lap swimming at the YMCA. I was planning on going to my favorite cafe. I wanted to go for a hike.

But when I got up, I felt like doing nothing. I decided I’d like to sit around and read for my birthday. I was reading the Wall Street Journal and I ran across two interesting articles about doing nothing. I had no idea that my new birthday plans were trending.

One article was written by Ben Zimmer and was about Hurkle Durkle:

The unpredictable pathways of language usage never cease to amaze. Who could have foreseen that one of the trendiest words of 2024 would be an old Scottish term for lounging around in bed?

That word is the delightfully reduplicative “hurkle-durkle,” which has taken TikTok and other social media outlets by storm. As defined by the Dictionary of the Scots Language, it’s a verb meaning “to lie in bed or lounge about when one should be up and about.” That dictionary cites an older one published in 1825 by John Jamieson, who reported that the word came from the dialect spoken in Fife, a peninsula in eastern Scotland.

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/to-hurkle-durkle-or-lounge-in-bed-is-a-tiktok-trend-thats-200-years-old-ad9e7c52?mod=lifestyle_lead_pos5

The other was about a new vacation trend doing nothing on vacation called:

The Rise of the Do-Nothing Vacation

More travelers say they want to make relaxation their top priority while on holiday

By Allison Pohle and Rachel Wolfe

The pendulum is swinging away from jam-packed trips and Instagram-worthy adventures and toward vacations with little to write home about beyond a pretty sunset and a cold drink.

More vacationers say they want a true break to rest and recharge during their time off. Their do-nothing vacations have no schedule. These aren’t beach trips that involve surfing or kayaking, or foodie tours requiring hours of research—and decision fatigue.

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/travel/vacation-trends-resorts-all-inclusive-relax-ce3f9026?mod=lifestyle_trendingnow_article_pos2

The third article I read was about a mommy blogger who was making seven figures by Sara Ashley O’Brien:

She Was a Mommy Blogger. Now She’s Covering Trump and Kennedy on the Trail—and Making a Fortune.

Jessica Reed Kraus built a massive following by sharing celebrity gossip on Instagram. Now she’s on the campaign trail and running a growing media brand.

SAN CLEMENTE, Calif.—For a year during the pandemic, Jessica Reed Kraus and her husband, Mike, rented out the two-room hideaway behind their ranch-style home to help support their family of six.

Then came Depp v. Heard. 

Kraus, a stay-at-home mom who’d built a following as a lifestyle blogger, was part of the frenzy surrounding the 2022 defamation trial of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. She shared salacious stories from anonymous sources about Heard’s personal life and quotes from a phone call she said she received from Depp. Kraus told her followers she had once believed the actor was abusive, as Heard’s lawyers alleged in court. But now, she was taking his side. 

https://www.wsj.com/style/jessica-reed-kraus-house-inhabit-rfk-jr-trump-kennedy-newsletter-e17077c4?mod=lifestyle_lead_pos1

Wait a minute. I was a mommy blogger. Why didn’t I make seven figures? Maybe because I’d rather do nothing.

Have you ever heard of hurkle durkle?

Why do you think doing nothing is a new trend?

Do you ever feel the need for a day off of activities?

How I’m celebrating

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Lemon Lush
I’m making Lemon Lush for our party.

This weekend, it’s my birthday. I am throwing a party for my husband.

That’s because his birthday was in January and he was sick with an upper respiratory virus. I was sick before Christmas through New Year’s, then it was his turn. I had invited three couples from our neighborhood, plus our Palm Springs friends who now live one mile away. Our Santa Barbara friends were going to surprise hubby. But they came two weeks ago and we had a fun, but exhausting time!

I couldn’t have the party while they were here, because two of the previously invited couples were out of town.

I haven’t felt like entertaining, but time is passing by and I did invite them. I said we were postponing while hubby was sick. I didn’t want to flake out on them so, his birthday party happens to coincide with my actual one.

For my birthday I also made swimming reservations for us at our local YMCA. We had such a cold winter, I never once made it to swim laps. I’m warm weather swimmer, also known as a wimp. I thought what better day than my birthday to restart lap swimming.

I did go to lunch with my two graphic designer friends who moved from Palm Springs to nearby more than 10 years ago. We have made it a monthly get together and we rotate who gets to choose the restaurant. It was my turn and I picked a sushi restaurant that none of us had been to. I had sushi and my friends ordered the Bento Box — which was only $12! That’s a deal in this town.

Hamachi Nigiri and the Garlic Roll that had tempura shrimp, tuna and roasted garlic on top.

My friends $12 Bento Box Lunch Special.

What do you like to do to celebrate your birthday?

Are you a sushi fan? Or, do you like food like in the Bento Box better?

Life and Death

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Sunset saguaro
A saguaro at sunset.

Two texts arrived within minutes. One on my husband’s phone — a friend who was also a client had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. He was one of very few to make it almost five years since diagnosis. His daughter texted to tell us the news and invited us to services planned this weekend. It hit me hard. It’s the fifth death of a friend in a short amount of time. I feel mortality is fleeting and I’m scared, especially with my DIL’s cancer. It’s all too real.

Then my phone pinged and there was a picture of a beautiful newborn baby boy. The mother is a swimmer from our club team and was close to my son and daughter. I talk to her mother almost every week. She’s been one of my closest friends for years. I remember the first time I met her, we were at our first swim meet with our son and I felt lost and overwhelmed. My soon to be friend was the only smiling face I saw that day. She drove our second car from Palm Springs to Arizona on the day we moved, her husband following behind in their car. Now that’s a friend. What a joy to see a photo of new life in their family at that moment…

This weekend we’ll be going to a funeral as well as celebrating my dad’s 92nd birthday. That’s life. That’s death. Sadness. Joy.

Today, in my online writing class at Gotham Writers on plots (Gotham Writers was recommended by LA from Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50) I learned about Life and Death as a theme in plots. A coincidence? I think not.

Then I began a book to read, “The Indigo Girl” by Natasha Boyd. Here’s the opening page:

“No time is ours but the present…and that so fleeting, we can hardly be said to exist.” Eliza Lucas 1722-1793

The Indigo Girl, A novel by Natasha Boyd

What are your thoughts about Life and Death? Do you think it’s unusual to learn about a death and a birth within minutes?

The party’s over

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I woke up to a foggy morning in Maricopa County. We’ve been here three years, two weeks and it’s my first time to see fog.

My husband caught the nasty bug I had from before Christmas until New Year’s. Now it’s his turn. The problem? Today we’re supposed to have surprise guests from Santa Barbara, friends of more than 30 years, arriving for the weekend to celebrate his birthday.

Then, because our friends are coming, I planned a small birthday party to share cake that our friend is baking. She’s owned several bakeries in the past and her cakes are amazing. I thought it was a perfect time to invite some neighbors and friends over.

But yesterday, although my husband was out of bed for awhile, I thought about how I’d feel. Would I like guests for an entire weekend while I was getting better? Would I want a houseful of people over to celebrate, when I didn’t feel 100%?

Enough with the surprise. I asked him. He was relieved I let him know and said to cancel everything. He was in no mood to be around people and wanted to rest through the weekend. I’m pretty sure he was touched with the surprises I had planned, but no thank you!

Not only will we rest up and feel better, we won’t be spreading our nasty germs.

NCAA Football Champs:

If you didn’t know, I’m a college football fan. I don’t watch NFL (except for the Eagles because of Britain Covey. He played for the Utah Utes. He’s 26 years old, only 5’8″ tall, but quick. He’s a punt returner and had a record 54-yard return against the Giants on Christmas. His grandfather is Stephen Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” fame and Franklin Day Timers.

Anyway, through my daughter’s college years as a student athlete at Utah, I became a huge fan of their football and gymnastics teams (and swim team, of course.) I have a ton of red and black gear that my daughter gave me, because every meet for four years they loaded her down with sweats, jackets, t-shirts, etc. I also bought my fair share. I wear my Utah gear on football game days.

I think what I enjoy most about football is the people. It’s not the game, because I honestly don’t know that much about it. It’s knowing people who play the game. Or liking their life stories.

Now, we’re down to the season’s final game. My alma mater University of Washington Huskies is in the national championships against Michigan. I’ve returned to my roots and ordered a t-shirt several weeks ago. GO DAWGS!

I’m also a fan of Husky QB Michael Penix, Jr. He should have won the Heisman because he’s the best quarterback people have seen in years. Plus, the lining of his suit coat for the Heisman awards night had every teammate and coaches name on it. The guy who won the Heisman over Penix had a suit coat lining of photos of himself in the Heisman pose.

Are you a college or NFL fan? What other sports do you enjoy — or any?

What teams do you cheer for?

How would you feel about having guests when you didn’t feel 100%?

New Year’s Resolutions Reviewed

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three swimmers

This is a photo of my daughter (center) swimming with two club teammates

I wrote this January 2015. There’s not much I’d change nine years later. As far as my New Year’s Resolution that year to swim with my kids’ club team in their Master’s program, it took me until April to get up my courage. But I did it. (Master’s is swimming with a coach for 18 year olds and older.)

Kick It up a Notch! Or How to Build on Last Year’s Resolutions

This year, I  might start swimming Masters.

I sat down to write my New Year’s Resolutions story for my blog when I got distracted by checking out FaceBook. Just for a few mintues, mind you.

What did I see? An article written by a friend of mine, Susan Murphy, published in a local wellness and health publication, called Desert Health. She wrote about New Year’s Resolutions, too. You can read her article HERE. Susan’s a Ph.D., life coach, business advisor and author of several books.

images-2

I tried a couple of her tips last January. I made goals that were small. They weren’t overwhelming. And, they were specific.

Too many people fail at their resolutions. Last year, I managed to make four of my goals happen.

My successes: writing, exercising and reading the Bible every single day. I’m proud to say I did it!  I also started bleuwater a year ago. I posted at least one story a week. It’s rewarding to look back on my work and know that I didn’t give up.

I also have a list of failures. But, I don’t care to discuss them right now.

So what am I going to try to do this year? As Emeril would say, “Kick it up a notch!”

I write my morning pages without fail. I have several writing projects I’m consumed with. But I want to do more. Make more progress.

My exercise is very consistent, but not challenging enough. I am getting stronger, but I need to kick it up. I walk several miles every morning and then in the evening with my husband. I am thinking about either joining a gym or swimming with masters.

What are your New Year’s goals?

How did you do with your resolutions last year?

A look at a goal for 2024:

FYI, I want to revise my rough draft of my NaNoWriMo project from two years ago. I struggled with it in 2023. I took a suggestion from LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 and signed up for an online writing class. It begins in two weeks. I’ll be off and going on one of my New Year’s resolutions.

Test Time

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Mom and me in the 1990s.
My mom and me in the 1990s.

I’ve been sick for a week now. Some days I feel like it’s behind me, then today I woke up feeling worse. I’m not sure if it’s a cold, flu (I did get a flu shot) or Covid.

Then I had a scary feeling today thinking about last year.

A year ago, I got a call from my brother that mom had tested positive for Covid. She was in an assisted living facility near Seattle, close to where my brother lives. But she was asymptomatic.

By New Year’s Day we lost her. Without symptoms, she died in her sleep. I wrote about that and a shared a children’s story I wrote about her HERE.

I decided I needed to test for Covid, although I’m not sure what I’d do differently if I have it — or if it’s the common cold. At least I’d know. And thinking back to a year ago, I felt scared. And sad.

I tested negative. Next weekend, we have guests coming from Santa Barbara to surprise my husband for his birthday. I’m throwing a small birthday party for him with three couples from our neighborhood, our friends we were supposed to spend Christmas with — and our surprise guests.

I have to be well. So, I’ll continue with rest, fluids, vitamins and other remedies that are suggested.

When I have a day like today, where I feel like I’m relapsing, my body must be telling me that I tried to do too much.

This is my last post of 2023. Last year was very stressful with losing my mom and my daughter-in-law’s diagnosis with Stage 3C colon cancer. I’m praying for a better 2024 and good health for everyone.

What were you doing one year ago before New Year’s?

What’s your favorite cold remedy?

Struggling with a book

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Books I’ve read or am reading during my spree with Lisa See.

I’m struggling to finish “Peony in Love.” I zipped through the other books pictured above as well as “Dreams of Joy,” “Shanghai Girls” and “Flower Net.” I wonder if my problem with “Peony” is due to the power of suggestion. One of my close friends listens to audio books while she works. She sews for interior designers and creates duvets, curtains, throw pillows, sailboat sail covers and furniture slipcovers.

She gets through quite a lot of books during her working hours. She recommended “China Dolls” and “The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane.” But she did add she couldn’t get into “Peony in Love.”

Is that little nugget of info tucked away in my brain? Or is it the story I don’t like? (It’s about a girl who is lovesick and quits eating until she dies. Then she hovers around her family trying to figure out how to come back to life.)

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal by Jason Gay this week called:

Is Watching a Movie the New Reading a Book?

In a zero attention span world, spending two hours locked in on a film feels like a trip to the spa

Here’s an excerpt:

My chest puffed with pride. I watched a whole movie, in one night, all by myself. No interruptions, no pauses, no iPhone diversions, no flipping channels, not even 30 minutes of falling asleep on the couch, drooling into a pillow and dreaming that I was an astronaut pizza maker who played point guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder. 

It was a revelation. You know what watching a movie felt like to my easily-distracted hamster brain? It felt like an accomplishment. It felt smart. It felt like a spa day for my skull. It felt like…finishing a book. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-cost-of-biden-family-advice-700d12cf?mod=hp_opin_pos_5#cxrecs_s

I agree with the WSJ writer that our attention spans have shortened. I can find myself flipping through texts, X messages and assorted other distractions online. It’s much easier than reading an entire book – or sitting through an entire movie. I prefer reading to watching TV, though. I also like listening to podcasts.

Have you read “Peony in Love?” Did you like it?

Do you think your attention span has changed through the past years?

Do you like to watch entire movies or do find yourself distracted like me?