Tag Archives: friends

Don’t you love a good book?

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Thanks to fellow blogger and friend LA from Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50 — for recommending Demon Copperhead. It’s one of the better books I’ve read lately.

I finished it in time to share it with my lunch bunch yesterday. My lunch bunch are two friends I worked with in PR and Advertising 30 years ago. We ended up moving to Arizona a few miles apart. We reconnected after years of not seeing each other. Now we go to lunch once a month together. We share books and talk about TV shows we like.

Here’s what Amazon has to say about Demon Copperhead:

Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, Demon Copperhead is the story of a boy born to a teenaged single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father’s good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. Relayed in his own unsparing voice, Demon braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his own invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damages to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens’ anger and compassion, and above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys, and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.

What books have you read lately that you really liked?

Please share, because I’m putting together a list of books to read this year.

What would you do?

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Sunrise view from our backyard.

If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?

That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.

I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.

I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.

I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”

The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.

“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.

“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”

He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.

Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.

What would you do?

Sunset.

Thanksgiving awaits

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The Harris Hawks are feeling right at home in our yard. This was the second day of them hanging out. I wrote about hawks on Wednesday, HERE. This guy is looking mighty plump.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I have mixed emotions about the holiday. I do like getting together with family or friends. I enjoy cooking the meal and having a bounty of leftovers. I enjoy the compliments my Thanksgiving meal gets. It’s satisfying.

But the dark side of Thanksgiving awaits.

Thanksgiving 2021 our dear friend passed away.

Decades earlier: When I was unmarried, living in Seattle, a recent college graduate, this friend (who also lived in Seattle) introduced me to my husband. My husband was visiting for Seafair, which is a summer festival highlighted by hydro races and a Blue Angels show.

As they say, the rest is history.

Eventually our friend left Seattle, sold all his property (real estate was his business) and moved to Arizona. He turned his Seattle real estate into an even greater empire in the Scottsdale/Phoenix area. Prices were way more affordable. Taxes were much better and the business environment was exciting to him.

We would visit our friend in Scottsdale a mile or two from where we now live. We would drive for the weekend from Palm Springs and stay in his casita. My husband was convinced that when he retired, Arizona was the place to be. We’d say good-bye to the high cost of living and taxes of California and embrace Arizona life.

COVID hit and my husband worked remotely. Home prices were skyrocketing in Palm Springs because people wanted out of apartments in San Francisco and LA. They wanted space, a yard, pool and our prices were much lower. We had a new next door neighbor who moved in from SF with his mom sight unseen and called the home his “COVID” home. He was worried about his elderly mom’s health.

My husband decided that it was time to make our move. Especially since he was working from home. I wasn’t sold on it, but told our kids that I was going to ask for a ridiculous price for our home that nobody would consider. That was my secret plan to stay in my dream home. Our house of almost 30 years sold in four hours with offers above asking. So much for that.

So we moved to Arizona close to our friend. He was our first and only friend in the state. We had been friends for close to 40 years. He loved to grill steaks for us. We had him over to our house for dinner. We watched football together and went out to great sushi restaurants. My husband would help him with his properties on weekends, schlepping refrigerators into apartments, or other DIY stuff. Like I said, that was his business. He appreciated my husband’s help.

He introduced us to his entourage, his brother and wife who also moved from Seattle to Arizona. Then another couple who will be retiring from Seattle to Scottsdale in a few years.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving 2021, he was hospitalized. He had a cough and was having trouble breathing. He was put on a ventilator after a week. He’d call my husband to bring him things from his home, like his razor and a pillow. The hospital tested him eight times for COVID — all negative.

Thanksgiving night, 2021 we had our friends who moved from Palm Springs over for dinner. My husband told them that he was worried about our friend, who was finally diagnosed with Valley Fever. Thinking it was COVID, the hospital had treated him the entire time with antibiotics, which is the wrong thing to do to a fungus like Valley Fever. Antibiotics allowed the fungus to grow unchecked.

The harsh words from our dinner guest, who retired from running the ER in Palm Springs said, “He’s not going to make it.”

He died a few hours later.

What holiday that is supposed to be joyous has dark undertones for you?

My super busy week

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A cactus in bloom last May.
A cactus in bloom last spring.

Ever have one of those weeks? Where everything seems to be happening at once? I’m having one and I’m thankful it’s Friday.

My week started with one thing on the schedule each day. That’s unusual for me. I usually have more down days than days with things planned. I had appointments, my lunch bunch went to a fun new restaurant, I had a board meeting for my women’s group that supports sex trafficked women. We invited a neighbor over for dinner Thursday because his wife is out of town. I had my zoom call where we discuss all the things you’re not supposed to in polite company — current events, politics and yes, religion!

I even made it to the YMCA and started lap swimming again! Yay for me! It feels wonderful to be back in the water and helps my toes that have started to hurt again during my walks. I will credit swimming to keeping me calm during my super, busy week.

I got a phone call while out to lunch with my friends. A swim mom friend from Palm Springs called. We usually talk for an hour. I didn’t answer because like I said, I was out to lunch. I forgot about the call and then I saw they texted me several times. I realized I had missed a few calls from her earlier in the week, too.

This mom was one of my best friends on the swim team. I went to my first swim meet when our son was in second grade. I was overwhelmed. It’s like landing on another planet. I didn’t know what was going on. Our son was scared. We couldn’t figure out how we were supposed to know when he was supposed to line up at the blocks.

The first person to greet me with a big smile and welcome was this woman, who would become one of my best friends.

Our two kids swam with her daughter, who went to the Beijing Olympics at age 16 and London at 20. Their daughter is so humble that once our daughter said to her, “Wow. I get to train with an Olympian.”

She looked around and answered, “Really? Who? Where’s the Olympian?”

Our son and her daughter would do homework together at the pool before practice when they were in high school.

Wednesday night I called and my friend asked if they could stay with us for three or four days starting the next day. Her husband is in a spear fishing tournament at a lake by us. He wants to scout out the lake before the big event. Of course I said yes.

They are arriving Thursday, while we’re having our neighbor over for dinner.

Thursday morning, I moved Olive and all her cat stuff from the casita into our master bathroom. I moved my files, books and laptop, too. We had guests a little over a week ago, and I prepped and readied the casita for them. Gradually, my stuff and Olive’s found it’s way back in there.

Sheets are washed, bed is made and grocery shopping is done to stock their fridge with a few goodies. I’m good to go. I did let her know that I had two meetings on Friday and would be gone most of the day.

She said she’s not expecting me to entertain her. So all is good! But I was a bit overwhelmed….

Do you like busy weeks, or quiet alone ones? Or a mix of the two?

The Holy Moly Home Tour

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Here’s a view from a Saturday afternoon luxury home tour. This is outside the living room on the patio overlooking an infinity pool.

We watched Michigan vs. USC football at our friends’ house, a mile up the hill from us Saturday. It was interesting because the other couple went to Michigan and my husband is a devout USC fan.

I was afraid it would be awkward, but it was a good game and Michigan won by three points.

At halftime, our friends suggested we go on a luxury home tour in their neighborhood. Every Saturday afternoon you can tour amazing homes in their massive development that has everything from condos to mansions on seven golf courses. We visited three homes. The first was all white, with white shiny counters, white walls and all white everything else. It’s was boring and I’m not wasting your time with photos.

The second was amazing. Fully furnished with the most unique art, fixtures, countertops, stone, etc. For a cool $6.5 million fully furnished. I didn’t take any photos, but here’s a LINK so you can see for yourself. The photos don’t do it justice. In fact, it looks crazy busy but in person it was really unique, fun and not overwhelming.

The third was high on the mountain with the most spectacular views. Here’s a LINK to the sales info. It was 9,411 square feet and $5.9 million, unfurnished.

View from a bedroom of the third house we toured.

Bathtub in the Master Bath.

Of course we’re never going to buy a home like this. Nor do we want to live in a country club community. But, it’s fun to take a look and wonder about the people who are selling these homes. Where are they moving to? Why are they selling?

Would you rather watch football or look at crazy luxury homes?

A Special Evening

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One of my friends who lives near Santa Barbara suggested we have dinner at the beach for Labor Day. And for old time sakes, have a bonfire and make s’mores. She’s the one starting to build the fire. We gathered small pieces of driftwood for kindling and used some napkins and paper plates from dinner to fuel the fire. One couple brought fire wood.

We had a potluck dinner with two other couples. One brought homemade pizza and pasta salad. I brought goat cheese brie with crackers, sweet peppers with hummus, and roasted cauliflower and zucchini. The third couple brought skewers, marshmallows, graham crackers and assorted chocolate bars including Hershey’s and Ghirardelli dark chocolate bars in different flavors including caramel and orange.

The s’mores and bonfire brought back memories when we visited these friends for Spring Break when our kids were young. We’d camp in our tent at Carpinteria State Beach and enjoy campfires at night. We always had s’mores.

camping at the beach
Camping at Carpinteria State Beach with the kids and Angus, a few years ago.

Here are photos from our Labor Day picnic at the beach:

It’s almost sunset.

The guys (hubby on the left).

The wives and my empty chair. Somebody had to take the photo and everyone was too comfy for a selfie.

Our friends set up a camping table behind the fire to hold our potluck dinner. The campfire brought back many memories with our family camping at the beach — even when I was a child. But also a memory of surprise one summer when my high school-aged kids planned a beach campfire with their swim team friends and I wasn’t invited!

The lights of Santa Barbara can be seen across the water. The train tracks are in the foreground. Time to say goodnight and goodbye.

Have you had campfires or camped at the beach? What are your thoughts on s’mores? What foods bring back memories to you?

“I want to get away…”

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Nine-month old Nina hanging outside in our friends’ backyard.

It was an arduous few days, but we’re on our way to getting settled into the cottage at the beach.

We packed a day early. My husband magically managed to fit into our car all our stuff — his office equipment, our suitcases, cooler and bags of stuff I didn’t want to buy on vacation, like condiments, paper products and our Keurig and coffee.

We hit the road early and dropped in on two clients, one for lunch as we passed through our old hometown.

Then we met long-time friends for dinner in their hometown. They were celebrating their 45th anniversary and we got to treat them. We hadn’t seen them in at least 10 years. It was so much fun to catch up and we talked late into the night.

We ended up driving close to six hours on day one. Day two was a little easier with only three hours to drive. Strangely, those three hours seemed to take all day long!

Then arriving at the cottage, we spent hours unpacking and getting organized, grocery shopping etc. I slept that night like the dead.

Our first morning began with a beach walk with our friends and Nina, the rottie. They invited us over for omelettes after the walk.

View from our friends’ backyard.

Now it’s time to relax! One challenge for me is we have more friends in our vacation area than we do in our new state of Arizona. Through COVID, I got used to having lots of downtime. I need to be balanced with our friends here and not over schedule our social life.

The last few days reminded me of Lenny Kravitz song “Fly Away.”

Do you need to have downtime in your weeks, too? Or can you be super social and enjoy it?