Tag Archives: synchronicity

Feeling a little blue

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mother and daughter
Mother Daughter photo.

I miss my mom. She passed away New Year’s day this year. I’ve been really busy and have felt pretty good most of the time. But today it hit me.

My daughter warned me that grief will come in waves. She lost a close friend to suicide not long ago and has struggled through her grief. She said just like waves come in sets, so does grief.

I was running errands and stopped to pick up mail before I drove home. There was a dear letter from my aunt (my mom’s little sister) that included a booklet about Heaven. There was also mail from CenterPoint church in Utah, where my husband’s childhood best friend is pastor and founded the church.

The letter from my aunt was encouraging me to reflect on my mom being in a better place. The synchronicity of receiving these letters and booklet gave me chills and warmed my heart. It was not a coincidence. I got the message right when I needed it.

What is the difference between coincidence and synchronicity?

Coincidence and synchronicity are related but distinct terms. The term “coincidence” describes a seemingly related series of events that occur without apparent cause. The term “synchronicity” requires that the individual ascribe deeper meaning to the coincidence; indeed, Carl Jung described synchronicity as “meaningful coincidences.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/synchronicity

What are your thoughts about coincidence and synchronicity? Do you have any examples that have happened to you? I wrote about it a few months ago HERE.

What a coinkydink

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Olive catnapping on the back of the sofa this morning.

Do you notice coincidences in your daily life?

A year ago, we had a visit from some friends from our old neighborhood. They asked “Do you spend much time with Bob and Julie?” Bob and Julie were another couple from our Palm Springs life. They lived a few blocks from us, our kids went to school together and Julie and I golfed together once a week.

“No, why would we see Bob and Julie?” We had lost touch when they became a hockey family and we were immersed in swimming.

The friends said “They live close by.”‘

Now that’s a coinkydink as my daughter would say.

My daughter keeps having them about a friend who committed suicide in December. He was a big McDonald’s fan. There are many photos of him proudly showing off a Big Mac. On his birthday, she opened her front door to find a Big Mac wrapper on her doormat.

I saw an article in the Wall Street Journal called “The Hidden Power of Coincidences — Surprising concurrent events can help us reach decisions, soothe us in grief and tighten our connections to others” by Elizabeth Bernstein.

She explains in the article that people and scholars have different views about coincidences. Some see them as spiritual, others see them as completely random. Others say it’s our subconscious making connections.

In any case, some people view coincidences as comforting or adding meaning to their lives.

Here’s an excerpt:

Dr. Beitman, who founded a nonprofit called the Coincidence Project, to encourage people to share their stories, has identified four types of meaningful coincidences. 

One is serendipity, which is a sort of happy accident, such as when you’re looking for your keys and you find the earring you’ve been searching for. Another is synchronicity, a term introduced into psychotherapy by psychiatrist Carl Jung, which he described as events that seem meaningfully related but have no apparent causal connection. You’re thinking of someone you miss and their favorite song comes on the radio, for example. Seriality is what happens when you see the same number or symbol over and over again. And simulpathity is a term Dr. Beitman coined to describe the experience of feeling a loved one’s pain or distress from a distance. 

If you’d like to boost your ability to notice coincidences, there are several strategies, says Lisa Miller, a clinical psychologist who is founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University: Be open to them. Write them down. Talk about them with others. 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/making-sense-of-coincidences-11665483811?mod=life_work_lead_pos1

What coincidences have you noticed lately? Which category does it fall into? What are your thoughts about coincidences?

Coincidence or a blessing?

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My kids with my dad pre COVID year.

My dad had surgery this morning. I know he wanted me to be there with him. But, my son asked me first to take care of him because he’s having shoulder surgery. So. I’m leaving to take care of my son. My dad joked that I could come to Palm Desert to take him to surgery and from there fly to San Francisco to take my son to his surgery.

I feel badly that I couldn’t be there for my dad. But I called two of my close friends that he knows who are available for anything he needs in the next few weeks. Plus his neighbor agreed to take him to and from surgery. He said it’s a minor procedure on one finger.

This is where the coincidence happened. I got a text from a fellow mom from my kids’ elementary school days. She said “He’s doing great!” She texted me a photo of a note she wrote to my dad, “Tell Elizabeth hil!”

I felt so reassured! So comforted to know that a good friend who was a nurse was taking care of my dad when I couldn’t be there.

The same thing happened when my husband had shoulder surgery. She was the assigned nurse. When my husband opened his eyes post surgery, he said “What are you doing here?” She had come into the waiting room to reassure me everything had gone well before she led me into the post op room to see my husband.

This has happened more than once. When my dad had surgery on his ankle, I was allowed in the pre-op area. Another good friend, a fellow swim mom who is a devout Christian, was his nurse. She knew my dad from the pool deck, where he was a proud grandfather at all of our kids’ meets.

Then when my son fell off his bike his freshman year of college, he had to come home for surgery. I was so nervous. The anesthesiologist walked in and was a husband of a good friend. Our son had tutored their daughter in high school for math. He said, “I saw his name on the list of incoming patients, so I asked to take his case.”

Playing croquet in our old back yard.

What do you think? Are these coincidences or is something else at work?