Category Archives: Gratitude

Black Friday

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A cactus in bloom last May.
A cactus in bloom last spring.

Black Friday is an interesting day for me. When I was 20 years old, home for Thanksgiving weekend, I drove from our town of Snohomish, Wash. to Bothell to hear a band play at a grange hall. I was with two high school girlfriends, Mary and Rebecca, who were sisters.

People in the band were friends. My goal was to ask one of the guys in the band to our sorority dance. It was a Tolo type of dance, where the girl asked the boy.

We parked across the street. Rebecca was stopping cars on the busy highway so we could cross. I froze in the headlights and held onto the hood of Rebecca’s parka, when a pick up truck came racing toward us.

The truck hit us both.

I bounced onto the hood, shattered the windshield and landed 35 feet on the other side. I was on the highway lying in a pool of blood with tires driving by — inches from my face.

Thank goodness for Mary, who wasn’t hit and watched it all happen. She called the ambulance and I was off to Evergreen Hospital for a few weeks. Rebecca refused to be admitted and lost a kidney later.

This is another one my memories of Thanksgiving week that isn’t so great. Our dear friend died Thanksgiving 2021. Kitty died Sunday and then I have the memory of getting hit by a truck.

But one of the unexpected outcomes of that Black Friday was gratitude. Yes, there was pain. Months of not walking. I had to come home from college for a quarter.

My priorities in life profoundly changed.

Waiting in the hospital bed for a physical therapist to show up, I realized my two strong desires. To walk again and be able to go to the bathroom. I no longer cared about losing five pounds. I didn’t care about the latest fashion. I didn’t care about grades.

Life is precious. And I appreciate every moment.

What life changing moment have you experienced where your priorities changed?

Views from Salt Lake City

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We had a great time revisiting Salt Lake City. The little big city has a special place in my heart because of my daughter’s four years living there for college. It’s filled with memories from our many visits. Plus, we saw my husband’s best friend from fourth grade through high school and his wife. We wish we had many more hours talking and laughing together! Every second was full. Our friend showed us a paper he wrote in fourth grade where he referenced my husband. Then he gave us a joint project they wrote together! Priceless!

Oh yes, Matteo’s restaurant owned by a former international student from Italy and swim teammate of my daughter’s at the “U” was amazing! The food and service was incredible. You can look at Matteo’s menu HERE. (Matteo is the handsome guy in the middle row photos that I linked for the menu.)

Here are a few views from our getaway in Salt Lake City:

No trip to Utah (in my opinion) is complete without a Freshie’s lobster roll. We’ve been to their Park City location, but now they have a Salt Lake City restaurant a mile from the hotel we stay at — the Little America. If you’re wondering how lobster rolls could be a thing in Utah, read this archived article “Utah restaurant stomps coastal competition, takes home ‘World’s Best Lobster Roll’ award.” Every bite of lobster was a major chunk from claws to hunks of tail meat. There was no sketchy filler. The roll was drizzled with warm butter, garnished with perhaps parsley in a grilled bun. Oh my!

Photo of the Little America tower I took during a morning walk. The Little America has two-story buildings surrounding the tower with garden and courtside rooms. (FYI, The Little America was founded by Stephen Mack Covey, grandfather to Stephen Covey of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” who in turn is grandfather to Britain Covey of the Philadelphia Eagles.

An example of the two-story buildings surrounding the tower that I borrowed from their website.

View of the Wasatch mountains from our 12th floor room. The apartment buildings below did not exist last time we visited Salt Lake City.

We walked to City Creek Center from the hotel. It was about a mile away. It’s an indoor-outdoor shopping center downtown and fills two city blocks. To get from one side to another you can cross the street, or use their skybridge. (We were on a mission to get new earbuds for my husband’s iphone at the Apple Store there. A story for another day!)

View from the skybridge walking from one City Creek Center building to another. Notice the train tracks lined with yellow? That’s TRAX, the light rail system that makes getting around SLC so easy and convenient. It’s free downtown.

Our daughter said she took TRAX from campus to football games, to downtown or wherever — all free as a student. She’d swipe her student ID. How convenient would that be going to a football game at the Rice Eccles stadium that seats more than 50,000 people and is sold out for every game? Or for everyday life? We used TRAX this past weekend.

City lights from our hotel room with the pool and garden and courtside rooms below.

The view of the Grand America from our deck. That’s the grander sister hotel across the street.

Thanks for coming along for highlights of my weekend.

Where you live, do you have a light rail system like TRAX? I wish we had that in Scottsdale!

Do you have any favorite go to places where you live or visit — like Freshie’s that I visit in SLC?

Take Time to Flourish

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quail photo
Male Quail photo from my Bird Buddy.

I discovered a simple exercise that can help us with our mental well-being and happiness. I’ve mentioned it before, but want to give more information about where I found it and how it works.

I learned about this simple practice called the “What-Went-Well Exercise” or “Three Blessings” in a book called Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being written by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., who is the director of University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center. According to Seligman:

“We think too much about what goes wrong and not enough about what goes right in our lives. Of course, sometimes it makes sense to analyze bad events so that we can learn from and avoid them in the future. However, people tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful. Worse, this focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression. One way to keep this from happening is to get better at thinking about and savoring what went well.”

Here’s how the exercise works:

“Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well,” Seligman wrote. “You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance. (“My husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today”), but they can be important (“My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy”).“Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?” For example, if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream, write “because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.” Or if you wrote, “My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy,” you might pick as the cause “God was looking out for her” or “She did everything right during her pregnancy.”

According to Seligman, he used the Three Blessings exercise with his students and patients. He discovered after six months, it was as effective as anti-depressants. I’m trying to be consistent with my gratitude journal and include Three Blessings.

What practices do you follow for better mental health and happiness?

Would you consider trying Three Blessings?

Watch baby quail in my backyard along with a quail fight by the adults.

Memorial Day

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I opened the front door and this boy was on our welcome mat. I ran inside to grab my phone, and we stared at each other in our courtyard. It’s thrilling to see bobcats.

As we’re enjoying a relaxing three-day weekend with friends and family, I wanted to find out how Memorial Day began. This is from the History.com website:

History of Memorial Day

The Civil War, which ended in the spring of 1865, claimed more lives than any conflict in U.S. history and required the establishment of the country’s first national cemeteries.

By the late 1860s, Americans in various towns and cities had begun holding springtime tributes to these countless fallen soldiers, decorating their graves with flowers and reciting prayers.

It is unclear where exactly this tradition originated; numerous different communities may have independently initiated the memorial gatherings. And some records show that one of the earliest Memorial Day commemorations was organized by a group of formerly enslaved people in Charleston, South Carolina less than a month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865. Nevertheless, in 1966 the federal government declared Waterloo, New York, the official birthplace of Memorial Day.

Waterloo—which first celebrated the day on May 5, 1866—was chosen because it hosted an annual, community-wide event, during which businesses closed and residents decorated the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags.

Did you know? Each year on Memorial Day a national moment of remembrance takes place at 3:00 p.m. local time.

https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/memorial-day-history

Thank you to all who have served, are serving and especially to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom.

Here are a few views from my week:

Our friends held a 60th birthday pool party for a sister. This is the stunning view from their backyard. Good food, friends and perfect weather! Most of the people at the party were Vets.

My first baby quail of the season plus a bonus bunny.
Bobcat on the courtyard wall.

How are you celebrating Memorial Day?

What family members do you have who served our country?

Intention for today: gratitude

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Outside my window.

I was focused on my laptop at the small round table next to the window in the casita. I glanced up and to my surprise I saw three bobcats!

First was the mother, who has been a visitor for the two years we’ve lived here. Following her were two kittens (one is above.) They looked healthy yet somewhat gangly like preteens. Their coats were practically white while momma had a deeper tan with darker spots.

I finally reached for my phone and captured this one shot. The momma and other kitten had walked through our yard out of view from the casita.

“Bill! Bill! Bobcats!” I yelled for my husband as I ran down the hallway to our living room. He had left the kitchen door open with only the screen door closed. The bobcats scurried away when they heard my frantic voice.

It was such a sight! I wish I’d captured them on camera or that my husband could have seen them. Instead of yelling I should have been stealthy and quiet — we might have had them in our yard for an hour or two.

The word that came to mind this morning as I woke up was gratitude. I’m grateful for these wild creatures in my world.

What are you grateful for today?

What makes you happy 2.0

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Puerto Penasco sunset
Sunset in Mexico in the Gulf of California.

A year ago today I wrote a blog post “What Makes You Happy.” You can read it HERE. You’ll notice a link to one of our favorite bloggers, LA.

In last year’s post, I included a list of things that made me happy. I thought I’d take a look and see if I can add to it this year. This is what I wrote last year.

This morning I was writing my daily morning pages and I wrote a long list of things that make me happy. I woke up feeling a little down, so my brilliant idea was to focus on what brings me joy and incorporate the things on my list in my daily life — or at least weekly. I had quite a list.

A few of the items were:

A trip to the ocean

A good night’s sleep

Working on a project I’m proud of

Spending time with family and friends

Swimming in the nearby lake

Swimming laps at the city pool

Reading a good book

Catching up with friends via the phone

Hiking

What can I add to the list? Here’s What Makes Me Happy 2.0:

Visits from my kids

Inviting friends over for dinner

Cooking

The Desert Botanical Garden

Musical Instrument Museum

Going to Costco with my husband and stocking up

Watching baby quail

Morning walks

Sunsets and sunrises

Reading blogs from my blogging community

Watching Olive the cat play

What makes you happy?

Do you find time to incorporate these treats into your weekly lives?

Olive playing with her catnip mouse.

Be worthy

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US Flag
This is the flag a the entrance to our neighborhood. It was donated by one of the residents.

Memorial Weekend I heard the phrase “Be worthy” repeated several times. It was in response to those who have sacrificed for our freedom. That hit a note with me. Am I worthy?

When my son was in eighth grade, his class traveled to Washington D.C. I was lucky to get one of the chaperone spots. I had never been to D.C. and felt so much emotion visiting the War Memorials and the Arlington Cemetery. If you’ve been there, you’ll understand. If you haven’t been there, you should plan a trip.

I wondered. Am I worthy? I try to be a kind person. I help my neighbors and volunteer in the community. I have for decades. I try to be a parent and wife who is supportive and understanding. I have my shortcomings. But have I done anything worthy of someone sacrificing their life for my freedom?

What do you think the phrase “Be worthy” means? How do you try to be worthy?