I discovered a simple exercise that can help us with our mental well-being and happiness. I’ve mentioned it before, but want to give more information about where I found it and how it works.
I learned about this simple practice called the “What-Went-Well Exercise” or “Three Blessings” in a book called Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being written by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., who is the director of University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center. According to Seligman:
“We think too much about what goes wrong and not enough about what goes right in our lives. Of course, sometimes it makes sense to analyze bad events so that we can learn from and avoid them in the future. However, people tend to spend more time thinking about what is bad in life than is helpful. Worse, this focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression. One way to keep this from happening is to get better at thinking about and savoring what went well.”
Here’s how the exercise works:
“Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well,” Seligman wrote. “You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance. (“My husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today”), but they can be important (“My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy”).“Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?” For example, if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream, write “because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.” Or if you wrote, “My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy,” you might pick as the cause “God was looking out for her” or “She did everything right during her pregnancy.”
According to Seligman, he used the Three Blessings exercise with his students and patients. He discovered after six months, it was as effective as anti-depressants. I’m trying to be consistent with my gratitude journal and include Three Blessings.
What practices do you follow for better mental health and happiness?
Would you consider trying Three Blessings?
I’m a huge, huge fan of Seligman…and a believer in his gratitude exercise! 🥰
Yay! The exercise seems so simple and amazing it’s so effective.
I love that you love it! 🥰
💕😊💕
I have thought every night of at least 3 things I accomplished during the day. My husband brought this task to my mind-not sure if he learned it in the army or along his way, but it always helps! To settle the soul.
That sound like a good practice. I find journaling helps keep me grounded.
This is so good Elizabeth. You are right. I think so much more about what went wrong then what went well. Thank you. I’m going to give it a try. Hugs, C
I’m glad you like it. It’s a good book to read as well, but the exercise was my favorite bit. Please let me know what you think of Three Blessing after you’ve tried it for awhile.
Love your Bird Buddy, such great bird photos always. Always a good idea to “remind” ourselves of the great things that have been happening in our lives which turns our mind to the positive.
Thank you! Yes, if we reflect on positive, our outlook is positive.
I gotta try this. I’m with Cheryl. I’m more likely to see the challenges. Now I tend to “work my way” to a positive ending, but I usually start with the negatives first. Ha, ha. I need to change that. Great thing to try.
I’m glad you’re going to give it a try, too. It doesn’t take much time, and it’s a great way to wind down at the end of a day.
Love the gratitude element of it.
Yes! Seligman said the crux of it is the “why.” That makes it more effective than a gratitude list.
“One way to keep this from happening is to get better at thinking about and savoring what went well.” I love this attitude. I’m hardly a Pollyanna, but I know that when I congratulate myself about having done something good/well/effectively I feel better about me in general.
In fact the other day someone on Threads said how when her work day is tanking she reminds herself that she took her Vitamin D in the morning and at least that situation is improving. I thought this was brilliant thinking.
There are many little things like taking Vitamin D that are positive in our lives. The more we reflect on the good things, the better our outlook becomes. It’s easy to get dragged down into everything going wrong or worry about things in advance.
I’ve kept a gratitude journal since 2020 and it means so much to me. It’s my favorite part of soul homework. ❤️
That’s awesome!
What a fantastic exercise. I do it throughout the day but I don’t catalogue it at night. I’m looking forward to it! Thanks, Elizabeth!
I’m glad you found it interesting. I’m excited to hear how it works for you.
The other day I promised myself I was going to “set aside” all the irritating things that happened that day. It did a lot to put me in a better frame of mind. Accenting the positive is good, but I think learning to banish the negative is great, too.
That’s true. We need to let go of the stuff that bothers us.
Sounds like a great idea – I love the intentionality of it!
Linda 🙂
Yes, but I have to work on being consistent with it.
But you do, so that’s what counts – yay you! Xx