Category Archives: COVID-19

Was it really one year ago?

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pretty kitty with flowers
Our cool as a cucumber cat helps keep me calm.

It was a little more than a year ago that COVID-19 was hitting our daily lives. We had no idea what was heading our way. Our kids got orders to shelter in place a few days before us. They live in the Bay Area and we were in Southern California. A year later, my husband got his first shot and I’m scouring through pages on my computer to find an appointment for me. Once we are vaccinated will our world open up? Will I want to be in crowds? Or has this isolated lifestyle become something I won’t want to shed?

This is what happened to me mid-March 2020:

I was doing okay, but yesterday when my kids called me and said they were under mandatory “shelter in place,” I started to panic. I’m wondering if the world will ever get back to normal? They were working remotely in my son’s house in the Bay Area.

The mandatory shelter in place started today. Yesterday they were told to prepare to be home for at least two weeks. My daughter is working remotely and decided to get out of the city and drove home last night. It’s so nice to have her home! I wonder how long she will be here?

Waffles the pug with flowers
Waffles the pug came home, too.

My dad agreed to let me grocery shop for him and I found everything he needed except for toilet paper, of course! While I was driving from his home, my daughter called and Waffles, her pug, ate something and was trying to throw up, but nothing was coming up. I told her to call a vet and I got really stressed out again! She called back in tears and said that the vets she called would NOT take new patients in their practice due to the Coronavirus! I was in the car and while she was talking to me and I noticed a big white pick up truck on my tail! Then he swerved in the lane next to me, and started yelling and screaming, giving me the finger. He threw a milkshake at me! It hit my windshield and the car was covered. I’m still shaking.

What in the h*ck is going on, folks? Is this really the time to become completely unhinged?

White truck throws milkshake at me
This is the guy in a white pick up truck with a Home Depot trailer who threw a milkshake at me.

Let’s take a moment to breathe some fresh air, calm down, take a walk and enjoy your families. And love up our dogs and cats, too!

What are some of your memories from one year ago? Did your area shut down or did it stay mostly open?

What I wish I had stuck with during the COVID shut down

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In 11 days we’ll mark the anniversary of California’s order to shelter in place. Looking back to March 2020, we welcomed our daughter back into the nest for a few months. The city pool closed. Playgrounds were wrapped in yellow police tape. The drinking fountains were turned off in the park. We could walk, hike or ride bikes. Then we bought a swimming bungee cord and swam in place in our pool.

bungee swimming in pool
My daughter using the bungee in our backyard.

One of my dear friends — from volunteering at our kids’ schools, being swim moms and eventually joining the swim team as swimmers — came over to try the bungee. I sat 20 yards away from her as she swam in place. Then she told me about Chloe Ting. Who is Chloe Ting? If you haven’t heard of her, she an Australian YouTuber who has free fitness videos among other things. She’s pretty, enthusiastic, energetic and anyone can do her workouts since she offers different levels for every ability. Even an old woman like myself can do them.

I started with the 2 Weeks Shred Start program. I moved on and added abs. I remember doing this in our guest room which had a smart TV. We went on airbnb vacations to Park City, Utah and Santa Barbara and I kept up with the Chloe Ting exercises to add to my daily walks.

Then I stopped. I don’t remember when. I don’t remember why. But just think how good I’d feel if I’d kept going.

It’s time to start a new relationship with Chloe Ting. It’s a little late for a New Year’s Resolution, but since I turned a year older this week, I guess it’s a birthday gift to myself.

masked up
Me in my COVID-19 couture.

What was your favorite way to exercise during the year of sheltering in place?

The look in her eyes when I said good-bye

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Downtown Seattle on a sunny day.

Little did I know that that would be the last time I’d see Mom before the COVID lockdown. My daughter and I were visiting my mom in her assisted living home on a trip to Seattle in March two years ago today. Mom and I share March birthdays and I try to make it a point to be with her. But last year in March they had COVID breakouts in a facility a few miles from her and then it spread to her assisted living home.

The good news is she never got it. She’s healthy and got both her shots. But I miss her. I’m hoping someday this year I’ll get to spend time with her in person.

Here’s what I wrote about my trip to visit mom in March 2019:

I will never forget the look in my mom’s eyes when I said goodbye. After lunch at our favorite sushi restaurant, we sat around a table in the lobby playing a card game our family played when I was a child, Demon.

It was fun and we all laughed as we got more and more competitive. They teamed up against me, as they tried to defeat me–but didn’t of course. My daughter slowed down her speed to make the game more fun for us old folks, because seriously she could beat us handily at anything involving speed and reaction time.

After that, we walked mom back to her room, got her settled in and said good-bye. My mom stared at me, sitting in her comfy chair, like her heart was breaking. Her big hazel eyes filled with water and I fought my own tears. I felt like I was deserting her.

My daughter asked if she wanted the TV on, and she said, “No, I’m fine.” As we closed the door, I peaked in and saw my mom sitting on her chair with her head dropped, staring at nothing.

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My mom was surprised to learn I had a camera in my phone. She enjoyed the selfie.

The good news is I came the next day, and the next. Each day she looked happier and her spark returned. She has a witty sense of humor and kept me laughing. By the time I said my final good-bye, she looked so much better. I think she’s terribly lonely and I need to visit more often.

And to think I was going to visit her more often — and then no visits at all….

If you live away from your elderly family members, how do you feel when you say good-bye?

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Nothing better than a mother daughter trip.

Do you worry about too much screen time?

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randk
Before the internet was a thing.

A year ago today was a lifetime ago. We were living in normal times. We were hearing about COVID-19, but it hadn’t affected us yet. There were a handful of known cases. I was reading about screen time and how it was affecting our kids. Depression and anxiety were being linked to social media.

Fast forward to today. We’ve been sheltering in place for 11 and a half months. Does anyone care about screen time and our kids? Depression and anxiety are at an all time high. Our kids don’t see their friends, they have to use their screens to connect. Parents working from home probably welcome more screen time so they can work.

Here’s what I wrote a year ago, before knowing what our daily lives would be like:

I am so thankful my kids were born in the late 90s and not today. Do you know why? Because we didn’t have to worry so much about screen time. We had one of those big box TVs and a VCR in the back bedroom. My biggest worry wasn’t how much time they were looking at screens, but what my son was going to “feed” it — a small toy or a peanut butter sandwich? Yes. He did that.

We allowed our kids to use the computer and they had DVDs that had educational activities that fascinated them. And they watched movies on the DVDs, too. But we didn’t have the internet back then. I didn’t have anywhere, like Facebook or Instagram, to post hundreds of pictures of them until much later! I’m sure they are thankful they were born in the 1990s for that very reason, too!

An article called Challenges of parenting “Generation A” from CBS affiliate KWCH12 in Wichita, Kansas, explains some of the fears parents have today and offer a few tips on how to deal with the challenges:

Generation A

It’s a new term to describe children who were born after 2010. They are the children of millennials. And they live in a world where smartphones and the internet have always existed.

Experts say that’s important because all the technology brings challenges for parents, including a risk of addiction.

Kids born after 2010 have phones in their faces almost immediately after they’re born. Their parents are taking pictures to post on Instagram and Facebook.

Experts warn, if you aren’t careful, that could grow into a technology addiction that makes it difficult for kids to interact with other kids.

“There is a certain type of addictive piece to playing a game, getting rewards, passing certain levels, and it’s just more fun than real life,” said Kalee Beal, who works with kids in the autism community at Heartspring.

She says now, even kids who don’t have autism are facing some of the same developmental challenges because of the technology in front of them.

I watched my toddler son become mesmerized whenever that giant purple dinosaur Barney would appear on TV. That was the only thing he seemed to be obsessed with on the screen. We also watched a ton of VCRs I’d check out from the library for free. I remember my Aunt Linda was so surprised during one of her visits. My son asked if she wanted to watch a movie with him. She was sure it would be a Disney cartoon. She was pleasantly surprised when he turned on “Meet Me in St. Louis.” After years of watching every musical the library had, my son asked me, “Mom, do they make any movies where they aren’t singing and dancing all the time?”

Here are some tips from the article about Generation A:

Beal offered some tips for parents.

First, she says technology is a great positive behavior enforcer, as long as you set limits. And, when time is up, take the device away.

She says games requiring problem-solving and strategy can be good for development, but parents should download the game and play it themselves before handing the tablet over to their children.

Parents should know if kids can chat with others through the game, which could expose them to danger.

Beal says kids are very tech savvy, and if you set up parental controls, they may find a way to disable or work around them.

She recommends looking through devices often to make sure your child didn’t tamper with safety settings.

robert
Back when my son would “feed” the VCR.

What do you recommend to parents of Generation A to limit screen time? Do you think too much screen time is a concern or have you relaxed your standards?

Ash Wednesday during COVID-19

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brother and sister at piano

My kids at a piano recital.

I just read that the Vatican has instructed priests to sprinkle ashes on the heads of people, rather than the traditional cross on the forehead. I’m going to forgo Ash Wednesday services in person this year and will listen to the service online. That’s a new practice for churchgoers that I hope will go by the wayside by next year.

I do believe that Lent is a good time to reflect on our lives. One Ash Wednesday service in past years stands out to me. Rather than giving something up — like chocolate or alcohol — the priest suggested doing something. He talked about investing more time in prayer or volunteering to help someone else, he felt it should be a time of giving of ourselves. He suggested reading the book of Mark from the Bible during the 40 days of Lent.

I’m a convert to Catholicism so I had to learn about Lent. I didn’t grow up with it. My kids did and my daughter always said she was giving up piano lessons for Lent. Yes, she hated piano. I thought piano had so many benefits and forced her to take lessons, years beyond what I should have done, she often reminds me.

If you don’t observe Lent and wonder what it’s all about, here’s a definition from Britannica:

Lent, in the Christian church, a period of penitential preparation for Easter. In Western churches it begins on Ash Wednesday, six and a half weeks before Easter, and provides for a 40-day fast (Sundays are excluded), in imitation of Jesus Christ’s fasting in the wilderness before he began his public ministry. In Eastern churches Lent begins on the Monday of the seventh week before Easter and ends on the Friday that is nine days before Easter. This 40-day “Great Lent” includes Saturdays and Sundays as relaxed fast days.

Here’s a link to Good Housekeeping’s article called 25 Creative Things to Give Up for Lent in 2021: From gossip and complaining to junk food and coffee, ditching these habits could change your life by Juliana Labianca. There are a lot of good ideas to do in that article that could improve your life — whether or not you observe Lent.

A friend emailed this eight-minute Homily about Lent. It’s a time to be cheerful and transformative.

Watching the sunrise and birds

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The past few days I’ve been treated to glorious sunrises, sunsets and a bounty of birds. I bought a bird feeder a few weeks ago and I’m delighted sitting at my desk glancing out the window. I got carried away and not only filled the bird feeder until it was overflowing, but I threw out cups of bird seed on the ground, too. That was for the quail who run through the fence. Yesterday we were visited by a huge roadrunner, a woodpecker and a bright red cardinal.

 

red cardinal on bird feeder

A brilliant red cardinal visited yesterday.

I was busy taking pictures of the cardinal when another visitor wooshed  onto the scene, forcing all the friendly birds to flee.

 

Hawk on fence

This giant landed on the fence before swooping through the yard to the rooftop.

The wildlife here at my new home can be intimidating. I’m terrified the cat will get out and everyone from realtors to friends have said cats last less than an hour outside. We even spotted bobcat tracks in our front yard after a rainy night.

Hawk on the roof

This was one of two hawks who scared away my birds.

My son works for a startup in San Francisco called Backerkit. I took this slogan off their website to explain what they do:

“We build software to help crowdfunding backers and creators connect, support each other, and get the most out of every campaign.”

My son said there’s a new product coming out that uses AI to identify birds. I’ll be first on the list when the product launches. So far, I’m going the old fashioned way with a bird book. Right now there are all these little boring brown birds in the yard, and I have no clue what they are.

Red sky sunrise

A wonder of a sunrise to start off a new month.

 

Missing casual friends during COVID

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Mt. San Jacinto Palm Springs

The view from my morning walks in Palm Springs.

Talking to my daughter yesterday, over the phone, I told her I was feeling lonely. I had one of those moments she told me was FOMO. I looked at an Instagram pic of my friends in Palm Springs going on a mountain bike ride. I wanted to be there with them. I decided a few days ago that I’m going to get a bike and try out the trails across the street. So, I felt a little pang, wishing that I could be there riding with friends.

(FOMO, my daughter told me, is the fear of missing out — for other boomers like me who don’t have a clue.)

I told her that my life isn’t that much different here. My life is still pretty much the same. I’m isolated, sheltering with my husband, and we aren’t out socializing or doing much except for daily walks and hikes — alone. Just like back in our old home.

“Yes, but you had your people,” she explained. “You stopped and talked to your friend Shawn at the park with his Irish Setter pups and you saw your Masters swimming friends.”

I told her that the people are friendly here, too. And we share smiles and friendly words daily on my walks. But, she’s right. It isn’t the same. I don’t know them like I knew my favorite checker at Ralph’s grocery store. We shared stories about how our adult kids were doing. Nor, do I stop and talk to anyone on my walks like I did with Shawn about politics or talk dogs and kids with the lady with the show Pekes. I don’t have the shared experience with anyone here like my swim Masters friends, where we’ve entered meets together, practiced in the rain and swim for Angel View Crippled Children’s Homes to raise money every New Year’s Eve.

I read several stories recently that talk about COVID sheltering in place and how we’re losing contact with our casual friends. Here’s an excerpt from The Atlantic by Amanda Mull that tackles this in The Pandemic Has Erased Entire Categories of Friendship; There’s a reason you miss the people you didn’t even know that well:

In the weeks following, I thought frequently of other people I had missed without fully realizing it. Pretty good friends with whom I had mostly done things that were no longer possible, such as trying new restaurants together. Co-workers I didn’t know well but chatted with in the communal kitchen. Workers at the local coffee or sandwich shops who could no longer dawdle to chat. The depth and intensity of these relationships varied greatly, but these people were all, in some capacity, my friends, and there was also no substitute for them during the pandemic. Tools like Zoom and FaceTime, useful for maintaining closer relationships, couldn’t re-create the ease of social serendipity, or bring back the activities that bound us together.

Understandably, much of the energy directed toward the problems of pandemic social life has been spent on keeping people tied to their families and closest friends. These other relationships have withered largely unremarked on after the places that hosted them closed. The pandemic has evaporated entire categories of friendship, and by doing so, depleted the joys that make up a human life—and buoy human health. But that does present an opportunity. In the coming months, as we begin to add people back into our lives, we’ll now know what it’s like to be without them.

It’s partly the pandemic that has cut us off from our normal activities and life. For me, it’s also moving to a new state and starting over. Thank God for my iphone. I’m talking daily to my dad and good friends. But I miss those casual friends, too.

diving off the blocks

That’s me diving off the blocks in my first swim meet where I’m surrounded my swim friends, officials and coaches.

How have you noticed a change in your casual friendships going on month 11 of our new normal?