I watched a video posted on Facebook by one of my children’s former swim coaches about millennials in the workforce and the problems they face. It really made me reflect about my own parenting and kids. There’s an increased number of kids in this age group with depression, committing suicide and overdosing. That’s terrifying, don’t you agree? What can be done about it? And why is it happening?
I hate that bullet point and know I’m guilty of some bad parenting myself. The main idea is that our kids were told they are special at every turn, whether it’s deserved or not. Consequently, millennials often suffer from low self esteem. While we’re trying to make our kids strong, mentally and physically, we’re doing something very wrong. We have highly educated, competent kids who don’t believe in themselves. Maybe everyone shouldn’t get a participation trophy in tee ball. It’s one of the reasons why I like swimming. Every mili-second dropped and ribbon received is truly earned. The clock doesn’t lie.
We were unplugged as a family every summer at the beach.
Checking our number of likes, texts, etc. give us a jolt of dopamine. That’s why we get addicted to our phones. Social media and cell phones are not much different than other highly addictive substances like tobacco or alcohol. When teenage brains are exposed to dopamine, they get hooked and their brains get hardwired. Hearing this part of the video makes me want to look at my own cell phone usage and make some changes—a good thing to think about for New Year’s Resolutions (I’ll write more about this later). Social media is preventing our kids from developing personal relationships and may lead to depression and being unable to handle stress.
THREE Instant Gratification
Our kids have grown up in the world of instant gratification. If they want to watch a movie, they turn on Netflix. If they want to buy something, they click on Amazon and it’s delivered the next day. I interviewed a psychologist and wrote about instant gratification here. Job satisfaction and relationships aren’t a click away. Instead they are messy and time consuming, but our kids aren’t learning these skills of waiting and working for things.
Maybe our corporate environments aren’t a good fit for young people. Our kids blame themselves when it could partially be the fault of the company they work for. Companies need to work extra hard to build the children’s social skills and work on their lack of confidence. We need to work on interpersonal relationships and one good way to start is to put the phone down.
What are your thoughts about millennials and their angst? Do you think it’s our fault they are suffering from depression and anxiety? Or, does the environment and technology play a bigger role?
Selfie of Mom and me playing BINGO. She is the best mom and my role model.
The flower arrangement I made at Seasons by My Little Flower Shop in Palm Springs.
First, my daughter and I went to a flower-arranging class at Seasons by My Little Flower Shop in downtown Palm Springs. We were invited by close friends from the Piranha Swim Team. My friend’s two daughters bought her a flower-arranging class for Mother’s Day. I was so tickled that they asked me to join them. I asked to include my daughter, who is home for one more week. My friend’s daughters are both older than my daughter by four and five years, but that swim team connection is a bond that never lets go. They both swam for USC, and even though my daughter was a Ute, they have the shared experience of being PAC 12 student-athletes.
We learned some basics about flower arranging, which I never knew. First, never let any of the greens touch the water. The greens decompose and create bacteria which kills flowers in a few days. When you buy a bunch of flowers from the grocery store, always strip the greens down where the water will be and your arrangement should last up to ten days.
The other thing I learned was to buy some clear florist tape at Joanne’s or Michael’s. On the top of the vase, put a strip of tape across the center, then two more strips evenly on each side. Then do the same perpendicularly. You’ll end with a grid that will support your flowers and keep them standing up.
The next thing we did to raise my spirits was escaping the desert and driving to the mountains. It’s starting to get hot and being stuck inside isn’t a joy. Up in the mountains at Big Bear Lake, it’s not only gorgeous but the high was 77 degrees as opposed to 111 at home. We went for a walk, set up our motorhome for the summer, went out to lunch at our favorite restaurant the North Shore Cafe and relaxed in the cool mountain air. We had Waffles as our buddy and he loved it since he hates the heat.
Here are pictures from our day in Big Bear:
Third, one of my friends in Seattle took my mom to Bingo on Sunday. I’ve written about my Bingo days with mom and how much she’s loved it. I’ve been looking for someone to take her because she refuses to go on her own–even though it’s down the hall from her room. I was reminiscing about Rebecca with the childhood friend who was married to her years ago. I mentioned my mom to him. (Our parents have been friends for decades and we used to go on camping trips together as families). He immediately volunteered and said that he thought going to Bingo with Mom would be “a hoot.” I called her afterward and she sounded so happy. Which made me happy, too.
One thing that losing a good friend has taught me is to not take anyone for granted and to reach out to friends and family.
When I visit my mom in Washington, I take her to Bingo on Sundays. She lives in an assisted living home and all her needs are met, but she won’t participate in the numerous activities offered unless I’m there with her. Unfortunately, I never can stay long or visit often enough to my liking–or hers. But, while I’m there, we have fun trying out whatever is on the schedule from Bingo to Laughter Yoga. We have fun with the group activities and also play cards for hours—especially our favorite game, called Demon.
I noticed while playing Bingo that my mom had to stay focused and alert to keep up with the caller (so did I!). When we went from two Bingo cards apiece to three, I noticed her working even harder. The caller was pretty quick and it wasn’t an easy task. I was thinking that Bingo must have some health and brain benefits for the elderly because I witnessed it first hand. I Googled it and yes, I found many articles praising the benefits of Bingo for the elderly—and all adults 40 and older.
In an article called “Bingo Brings More than Fun to the Table for Seniors” I discovered that researchers have verified the health benefits:
As it turns out Bingo is more than just a fun activity. Researchers have found that playing bingo has multiple health benefits for the elderly. It takes concentration – which improves listening and short-term memory skills and it promotes socialization – which is essential for seniors to maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle. So if your elderly loved one likes to play bingo, it can be an excellent way to promote mental, emotional, and physical health. This may be a good way to get your loved one motivated and interested in other activities.
Bingo is the American version of a game that originated as an Italian Lottery called “Lo Giuoco del Lotto D’Italia” that was all the rage dating back as far as the mid-1500s. When the game reached North America in 1929 it was known as “beano” but later renamed bingo after a caller yelled out “BINGO” instead of beano. Bingo is a big mainstay at local senior and community centers all across the US. Many fire companies hold weekly bingo to raise much-needed funds.
Cognitive Benefits of Bingo
With the concentration and listening skills it takes to play bingo, one’s cognitive abilities are sharpened. Who couldn’t benefit from that? Since the game requires alertness to hear the numbers and remember that information to transfer it to the cards they are playing, it improves memory. Researchers at the University of Southampton found that bingo players had better results in tests of memory, speed, and cognitive function than those who do not play the game, regardless of their age. Significant improvement in hand-eye coordination occurs with many seniors due to the speed required and the repetitive nature of the game. Even seniors with dementia issues have shown improvement. Using larger cards with larger and bolder type and a high contrast in color improve thinking skills and memory among patients with dementia issues including Alzheimer and Parkinson’s disease.
In The Guardian’s article called “Bingo calculations help elderly people keep their brains alert” they make similar claims:
Bingo makes you think faster than non-players and keeps you more alert into old age, a researcher told a British Psychological Society conference.
Julie Winstone, of Southampton University, said players were faster and more accurate than non-bingo players on tests measuring mental speed, the ability to scan for information, and memory.
Her research found older players even outperformed younger counterparts, suggesting keeping the brain active keeps it sharper for longer.
The finding came as no surprise to the National Bingo Association, which said the game was played by three million people with an average age of 49.
“The blue rinse brigade dominated it 15 years ago. But then it was taken up by celebrities Denise Van Outen, Elle Macpherson, Robbie Williams, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Bianca and Jade Jagger,” said Gloria Pattinson, an association spokeswoman.
In a blog called “The Social Benefits of Bingo” they promote the social benefits of Bingo:
One of the great things about games is their social benefits. It is not just about winning and losing, but the friendships and relationships you can gain from playing. Many would say that winning and losing is entirely incidental – the reason one plays something is for the friendships. Depending on how competitive a person is, will affect how they see this.
Some people don’t have an easy time meeting new people and talking to them. This is where a game comes in useful. Playing the game creates conversation. It is an ice-breaker and gives you the chance to get to know someone. This is why people say to pursue a hobby if you are looking to meet new people.
Bingo is no different from any other game. If you like to play the game, it stands to reason that you will also like people who play it. You already share a common interest and this can be the basis and foundation for a friendship. Of course, bingo can only do some of the work; once you get there it’s all down to you.
My prior experience with Bingo and the elderly was with my daughter. We joined a mother-daughter volunteer organization called National Charity League and Bingo was on our schedule. At a nursing home, our girls would wheel the residents out of their rooms to the dining room where the moms had set up Bingo cards and the cage with the balls. The girls took turns being the caller and sitting with residents, helping them place poker chips over the numbers on their cards. It was a neat experience and I saw firsthand how much the nursing home residents looked forward to their Bingo nights. Bingo was a bright light during an otherwise dull and empty week.
Okay, so I read my mom some bits and pieces of these articles. She likes Bingo, understands the benefits to her health—but will she go on her own? I asked the attendants to remind her when it’s Sunday at 1 p.m. so she can make it down the hall to the game room and play. But will she? So far, I’ve been taking her each time I visit for more than five years—yet she’s never made it on her own. I had the same conversation with the woman who leads Laughter Yoga and her daughter who is about my age, too. (Laughter Yoga is another great activity for the elderly and young alike.) Both the mom and daughter are enthusiastic about stopping by Mom’s room to ask her to join them. I’m not holding my breath that Mom will say yes to them. Then, there’s my brother and his family who could take her, too. But they enjoy taking her out, not staying in. How good is a simple game like Bingo that promotes socialization, fights dementia by improving focus and memory? I hope Mom makes it there!
Selfie of Mom and me playing BINGO.
Have you had any experience with Bingo? Do you find it fun and beneficial for the elderly?
For six years, my daughter and I volunteered through a mother-daughter service organization. We had a dozen places throughout our community where we could volunteer together—from 7th grade through her senior year of high school.
Some of the philanthropies we helped out were Guide Dogs of the Desert, Angel View Crippled Children’s Homes, our swim team and the Braille Institute. We were required by the service organization—National Charity League—to put in a minimum number of volunteer hours per year.
One of the funnest and easiest things we’d do is show up at a nursing home and play BINGO with the elderly residents.
I never thought much of it. It was something we’d do occasionally on a Monday night. My daughter would show up with her hair wet from swim practice wearing a t-shirt and shorts. On a big night a half-dozen other girls and their moms would volunteer to get out BINGO cards, the cage and set up seven or eight tables for the residents.
The girls would cruise the hallways and peak into rooms and ask if the residents wanted to join us for BINGO. The regulars would be waiting for us in their wheelchairs for their weekly game.
How did BINGO become so popular? Who invented the game? Here’s a link to a brief history of BINGO. I thought about what a difference it makes to the residents of that nursing home to have these young women escort them to BINGO. I never thought about it until last week—after visiting my mom in her assisted living home.
I took my Mom to BINGO for the second time this year. She’s had a blast both times. It got her out of her room. It engaged her mind. We had fun. She said “BINGO!” and won the first round. She had a smile on her face. She was excited to pick out prizes. She was interacting with other residents. Both times she’s promised to go back. But she never does. She’ll be sitting in her room again on Sunday at 1:15 p.m. in the dark, when she could be having another fun 45 minutes of stimulating her mind and getting exercise by walking down the hall and back using her walker.
I wish they had a group of young ladies that would peak into her room and plead for her to go.
My mom after winning at BINGO. She wanted a fresh glass of water, because “winning makes her thirsty!”
When my daughter was pushing a complete stranger in his wheelchair into the game room on a random Monday night with NCL, I had no idea how much it meant. Not only for my daughter—to learn compassion and think outside of her own immediate needs and desires—but also how much it meant to that elderly person. To get out, interact with people and have a little fun.
I wish we didn’t live two states away. I miss my mom. It was so good to see her so happy playing BINGO.