Category Archives: anxiety

Service? What Service?

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House finch
House finch postcard from Bird Buddy. This is a frequent visitor, but has nothing to do with my post.

I drove to the grocery store and noticed the oil light was on. That was weird because I had an oil change and service two months before. I called my husband and he told me to check the oil and add a quart if needed.

I called the dealership to get an oil change and have them check the oil light. Why would I get the car serviced at the dealership? When we moved to Arizona, the car was still under warranty and service was free. Not so anymore, but that’s where I’m used to going.

The appointment was 10 days out.

In the meantime, I decided to drive our other car. First time I drove it, the oil light went on. I called for an appointment at a local small mechanic, not a dealership. I had an appointment the next day at 8 a.m. I sat and waited until 12:30 p.m. for an oil change! They tried to upsell me and told me I needed a new battery and tire alignment.

While I sat and waited, I noticed every single customer was told they needed something more. One woman came in with low tire pressure. After she left, her husband called and asked why she was charged more than $100 for air in her tires. It turns out they upsold her, plus found a nail in her tire. They charged $50 to plug the tire.

I remember when that used to be free or up to $10.

Ten days later I went to my appointment at the dealership.

I also needed new tires. I could have gone to Costco and saved some money, but I was already going to be sitting at the dealership, so I opted to get it all done at once.

I chose to wait for my car that Tuesday because we live 30 minutes away. I brought my laptop and a book. They said they’d drive me home in their shuttle because it was going to be a long wait.

I got a call at 5 p.m. Tuesday that my car hadn’t been serviced. I got a call Wednesday evening that my car hadn’t been looked at. I asked how that was possible when I had an appointment 10 days out. I was told that it was because I asked for alignment of my new tires.

Thursday, my car was ready in the afternoon. As I drove home, I noticed the tire pressure was off. Two tires were at 40 psi, the other two at 29. They were supposed to be at 35. I called the dealership and they told me to bring the car back and they’d fix it.

Oh yes, the oil light? They said it was a bad sensor and it would cost $2,700 to fix it!

No thanks.

Hubby got the tire air pressure where it was supposed to be after driving to three gas stations to find working air.

Saturday we were driving to Costco and a warning light came on the dashboard. One tire was at 17 psi. We stopped for air and drove to the dealership. I think I was hyperventilating watching the dashboard and the tire pressure dropping as we drove there. My husband asked for a loaner car.

The snippy customer service rep said, “I can’t give you a loaner, sir.”

My husband blew up and said “You had our car for three days. We will go to Costco while you fix our tire pressure.”

The manager came out and gave us a loaner. We did our Costco run and came back for our car. It turns out that not only did they not check the tire pressure, a valve was loose and air was leaking.

I asked the manager what was going on, because I have had decent service before.

He said, “We don’t have technicians. Nobody wants this job.”

I guess that was the problem at the local mechanic I went to also.

Where do you notice a lack of service? What jobs do people no longer want to do?

How does that affect our future?

Test Time

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Mom and me in the 1990s.
My mom and me in the 1990s.

I’ve been sick for a week now. Some days I feel like it’s behind me, then today I woke up feeling worse. I’m not sure if it’s a cold, flu (I did get a flu shot) or Covid.

Then I had a scary feeling today thinking about last year.

A year ago, I got a call from my brother that mom had tested positive for Covid. She was in an assisted living facility near Seattle, close to where my brother lives. But she was asymptomatic.

By New Year’s Day we lost her. Without symptoms, she died in her sleep. I wrote about that and a shared a children’s story I wrote about her HERE.

I decided I needed to test for Covid, although I’m not sure what I’d do differently if I have it — or if it’s the common cold. At least I’d know. And thinking back to a year ago, I felt scared. And sad.

I tested negative. Next weekend, we have guests coming from Santa Barbara to surprise my husband for his birthday. I’m throwing a small birthday party for him with three couples from our neighborhood, our friends we were supposed to spend Christmas with — and our surprise guests.

I have to be well. So, I’ll continue with rest, fluids, vitamins and other remedies that are suggested.

When I have a day like today, where I feel like I’m relapsing, my body must be telling me that I tried to do too much.

This is my last post of 2023. Last year was very stressful with losing my mom and my daughter-in-law’s diagnosis with Stage 3C colon cancer. I’m praying for a better 2024 and good health for everyone.

What were you doing one year ago before New Year’s?

What’s your favorite cold remedy?

Beware a Nasty Bug

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Me and my babies
My son, at almost three, and newborn daughter at home after an exciting week.

We were on the phone yesterday with friends who mentioned they are going to get the RSV shot. They have a friend who got RSV and said it was way worse than COVID.

My husband mentioned that our son had RSV years ago.

“No it’s new,” our friend said.

“The vaccine is new,” I explained. “But when I was one week from having our daughter, my son got RSV.”

Then I told him the story. The mere three letters of RSV brought back memories.

My son was sick. I had an appointment in the afternoon with our doctor. Our son began a high-pitched wail that morning.

My cleaning lady/babysitter was in my home. Her children were high school aged. She told me to go to the doctor ASAP. I patiently explained that I had an appointment at 2 p.m. I would go then.

“Now. Go now!”

We were only a few blocks from the doctor’s office which was across the street from the hospital. My son’s high-pitched wail was accompanied by blue lips.

The doctor tried an inhaler, but my son was too young for it to work. I was told to go to the hospital. The doctor told me not to stop at check-in. The pediatrics unit was waiting for us.

“It’s RSV and that is a very serious illness,” the doctor who was usually so funny and personable said in a grave voice.

I walked into the hospital and headed towards pediatrics. I was more than eight months and three weeks pregnant at the time, and was swiftly tucked into a wheelchair and pushed toward OB/GYN.

“Not me. It’s my son.”

Within minutes in pediatrics my son was put in a tent, which must have given him oxygen and the medicine the inhaler would have administered — if he was older and could use it.

I spent the weekend in the hospital with my son. I wouldn’t leave his side. I remember it took three nurses to hold him down to administer medicine and the nebulizer. They called it the monkey machine to get rid of the monkeys in his chest.

My husband made calls to friends that we were in the hospital. My neighbor who had to agreed to babysit while I gave birth ran over. My husband explained it was Robert, not me who was hospitalized.

My son got tons of medicine and they took good care of him. They put my husband, me and our son in a room with another toddler and parents. You can’t imagine how thrilled I was to learn the other toddler had Norovirus. They weren’t thrilled to be with our RSV toddler, either.

Our doctor explained that RSV was not to be taken lightly and it was a precursor to asthma. Ever since that weekend, my son has suffered with asthma, got sick throughout most of his childhood until he became an adult. He’s had an emergency inhaler and been on other meds. That nasty bug was life-changing for him and for us, too.

Do you know anyone who has had the RSV virus? What is your experience with it or any other childhood diseases for you or your children?

On a happier note, have a wonderful weekend and Merry Christmas! 💕

Run to the border over?

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Beach resort at Sandy Beach Mexico
My favorite pool at Bella Sirena Resort in Mexico.

On our last trip to Mexico I wrote “Run for the Border.” You can read it HERE. There were two odd things that occurred on that long weekend that made me question our favorite vacation spot four hours south of home. First was getting pulled over by cops at the Mexican border town and being shaken down for $160.

But something else was odd. I noticed at least 1,000 military-aged men from all over the world, lined up on the Mexico side, waiting to walk into the United States. There were no women or children.

Then on the news yesterday in Arizona, we learned the border crossing at Lukeville is closed because the Border Patrol has such an influx of these military-aged men from Asia, Egypt and Africa to process — that they can no longer accommodate legal Americans or Mexicans crossing the border — either way.

Here’s a snippet from local Arizona news:

Lukeville border closed: How to get to Rocky Point and how much longer it will take

Michael Salerno

“It sucks.”

Esme Hernandez, a local business owner who enjoys traveling to the Mexican beach town of Puerto Peñasco, also known as Rocky Point, didn’t mince words in reaction to the closure of the Lukeville-Sonoyta port of entry.

That border crossing provides the most direct route between Phoenix and Puerto Peñasco.

“I just can’t imagine the effect it’s going to have on Rocky Point and the economy. They’re already in the slow season,” she said in a TikTok video and Instagram post about the border crossing’s temporary closure, which U.S. Customs and Border Protection announced Friday, Dec. 1.

Why is the Lukeville border crossing closed?

U.S. Customs and Border Protection closed the Lukeville port of entry on Monday, Dec. 4, citing an increase in migrants at the border and a need to assist U.S. Border Patrol with taking migrants into custody.

CBP did not say when the border crossing might reopen.

https://www.azcentral.com/story/travel/arizona/2023/12/05/travel-to-rocky-point-lukeville-closed/71803351007/

With Lukeville closed, you have to drive to other border crossings that are not closed and are several hundreds miles away and are said to be more dangerous areas to travel. Rocky Point is 62 miles south of Lukeville. I hope this is temporary and for the sake of people who need to cross the border — and the economy of the beach resort — it reopens soon. Personally, I can skip the beach vacation, although it will hurt the Puerto Penasco economy.

We had a tenant in Phoenix who had open heart surgery and went on disability. He decided to move out of our rental unit and move into his mom’s house in Puerto Penasco where he could live for free. But he has continued his medical appointments in the US. He can no longer travel here.

Then, we met a restaurant owner in Puerto Penasco who said they bought most things to run their business like meat, liquor etc. in the US. They can’t get here, either.

The town of Rocky Point, also known as Puerto Penasco, will have no tourists. It’s a shrimp fishing village and a tourist town. The people are going to suffer economically.

The closest town to Lukeville on the US side is called Why. It was “Y” based on the road going from Tuscan to Phoenix and Mexico with a Y turn. Arizona decided all towns had to have three letters so now it’s called Why.

There’s a border station. It’s on the other side of the Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument a few miles from the border in Why. The monument is gorgeous and home to two species of indigenous cacti found nowhere else. The migrants are camped out there because there are facilities. Border Control in Why has all its cages full of migrant men. (Have you ever heard about this?)

The migrants camping out in the National Monument are burning the cacti to stay warm.

We stopped at a gas station in Why on our last trip home (Population 30?) There was a brand new gas station and a family running it. It was a husband and wife with a baby. They were excited to tell us of their plans for a coffee shop and restaurant and welcomed us to come back soon.

This is so wrong on so many levels.

I’m not sure if anyone out of the Phoenix area has heard about this.

Have you? If so, was it on local or national news? Why do you think young men by the thousands are traveling here without any women or children? What do you think could be done about the border being closed to Mexican and American citizens?

This is a banner photo from the National Monument website.

Chit Chat Class

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Red Northern Cardinal
A Cardinal visiting my BirdBuddy AI feeder. He has a beautiful voice.

Have you noticed teens or 20-somethings at restaurants, in a group, but not talking? Instead you may see them looking down at their phones.

I saw an article at the WSJ that talked about boot camps for college students to learn small talk. One professor noticed her students from Caltech weren’t getting interviews or jobs. (Caltech is a school for brilliant kids and very difficult to get into.) Other lecturers from other colleges noticed a similar trend. They decided to get involved and help teach skills that previously were taken for granted.

In the article “We Now Need College Courses to Teach Young Adults How to Make Small Talk” by Tara Weiss, she said:

Professors are teaching elementary chitchat skills to students who are woefully behind in the basics.

Everybody seems to have a theory about why many young adults have trouble with so-called soft skills, which include the art of persuasion and civil conversation. Blame smartphone addiction, Covid cocooning or helicopter parenting. Regardless of cause, a growing number of college professors in various disciplines around the U.S. are trying to keep professional chitchat from becoming a lost language.

Claire Ralph, a Caltech computer-science lecturer, said when she started at the campus in 2016 she was surprised that a fifth of her students had spent five months looking for a job—not even getting interviews. She asked to see copies of their cover letters. One began, “Hey wazzup y’all.” The student explained that “someone said a cover letter should be friendly,” Ralph recalled.

She talked about students’ communication shortcomings with colleagues. Everyone came to the same conclusion: “It was a hole people knew existed,” she said, but “didn’t know how to plug.”

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/colleges-teach-chitchat-to-shy-students-81fe9db1?mod=lifestyle_lead_pos2

I’m glad these professors are working on basic communication skills with their students. I had to go through chit chat training when I worked for a couple years with my husband at Merrill Lynch. They called it speed dating. We had different scenarios or roles to play. We lined up in two lines and had to go down the line having a few seconds to find out as much as we could about the other person across from us. There were a number of other exercises, and although they were nerve wracking, they were useful.

I remember serving on a scholarship committee for three high schools in the Palm Springs area. Along with four or five other women, we’d go through applications and have in-person interviews with our top prospects. The three high schools had different socio-economic demographics, but one stood out. That’s because somebody in the faculty told the girls how to dress, shake our hands firmly and look us in the eye. They had training that put them ahead of the kids who were left on their own. We were impressed.

What are your thoughts about chit chat class? Do you think the art of small talk is getting lost in today’s society? With just our youth or with everyone and why?

The phone call

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Sunrise view from my back yard.

It was my senior year of college at the University of Washington. I worked as a cocktail waitress at the Tally Ho, which were restaurant lounges in three hotels in Seattle. I had worked my way up from hostess to breakfast waitress to cocktails during my years in school.

One night at work, I got a phone call from a suicide hotline. (I need give a shout out to LA from Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50 for her post about her burn and reminding me of a scar I still carry.)

The person on the line said they received a call from a family member of mine who attempted to end their life. She refused to give me any more information and quickly hung up. I called back and learned the phone call was an error. They were not allowed to give out confidential information of any kind. They weren’t supposed to call me in the first place and could give me no further information.

My parents were going through a messy divorce. I remember feeling like gravity had disappeared and at any moment I would fall off the Earth.

I left work and drove home to Snohomish to our family home, which was 45 minutes away from Seattle. I remember commuting to school and staying home with Mom as much as possible. She was the person who called the suicide hotline and gave them my work number after slitting her wrist.

Weeks later, we were at Nordstrom downtown Seattle and Mom wanted make up for her scar on her wrist. I was mortified when she approached a woman at a counter and asked for help. She showed her scar on her wrist and the woman behind the counter after an initial shocked look, was gracious and found something for my mom to cover up the scar.

Unfortunately, my internal scar never went away.

I was taking a class at the UW in radio broadcast and I had to splice together a recording. I chose the Beatles song “Help” and wrote a piece about the suicide hotline. My professor was very concerned and wondered why I had chosen that specific topic.

I am amazed I made it through the quarter and graduated.

Speaking of scars, which ones do you carry with you physically or internally?

Speaking of crime…

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The entrance to our old home. Our homeless man, who believed he bought our house, slept on the steps.

The back yard, which had our front door, once you walked through the gate above.

Sometimes I miss my old home. We lived there for 28 years. I had my babies there and raised them until they went off to college. I never thought I’d leave. But then COVID hit and my husband worked remotely from the Master bedroom. I worked remotely from our son’s bedroom.

Prices were going crazy high because people were fleeing the big cities of San Francisco and Los Angeles. Our town offered more space and much lower prices compared to the city life. My husband believed it was time to make our move to Arizona.

When I feel like I miss the old homestead, I read my emails. Every morning I get a “Personalized Spot Crime” report for my old neighborhood.

It’s gotten so much worse since we moved three years ago in December.

Here are a couple examples from my inbox:

In the 28 years we lived there, we had very little crime. My bicycle was stolen from the carport, which didn’t lock at the time. We had a homeless man who slept on the steps of the archway.

Oh, we had someone break into the home from the hospital mental ward a few blocks away wearing his “robe” with a bare behind. My daughter was the one who ran into him in the kitchen. She was in third grade and named him Hobo Joe. My husband threw him out of the house and called the police. They caught him trying to enter the house across the street.

But through 28 years, those were off events. Nothing like the crime I see reported on a daily basis now.

The crime I see in my new neighborhood amount to javelinas destroying golf courses.

Once, after flying home from Seattle visiting family, I had to take a Lyft home. My husband had COVID. Anyway, the Lyft driver told me he was once a deputy sheriff in my neck of the woods. He said the number one crime was speeding. I sure hope it stays that way! It makes me appreciate my new home and where I live.

I had crime on my mind after a run in with the Mexican police on our recent getaway. If you missed it, I wrote about it HERE.

Is there crime in your neighborhood? Do you feel it’s gotten worse or better through the years?