I saw this tweet first thing this morning and it stuck with me all day. My kids are in their early 20s and if I had a do-over, I’d do less for them, not more. I love being a mom and my kids survived my over-parenting and have flourished. But I failed them over and over by doing too much along the way. When they are experiencing pain or a rough patch now, I look back and wish I hadn’t been such a helicopter or lawn mower parent and they’d have experienced more difficulties in their earlier years.
What drives parents to do everything for their kids? Here are six reasons why we do too much for our kids–taken from my own experience and observing other parents:
We want to shield our kids from pain and hurt.
We want our kids to have the brightest futures possible — and only we can guarantee that by our constant hovering and interference.
We’re afraid to let our kids fail. This is the exact opposite of what we need to do. Let them fail while they’re young, when the consequences aren’t so big.
Peer pressure. We want to be a super parent, like those we see around us at school or in their sports.
We do all the work around the house because their schedules are so busy. (Like ours aren’t?)
We make every decision for them, allowing them to miss the development of good decision-making skills as they grow.
What reasons do you see for parents doing too much for their kids?