Category Archives: friendships

Now for a little bit of Red

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I have been taking photos out my casita window with my iphone. I don’t feel up to using my Nikon with my heavy telephoto lens. So, the photos may not be as crisp and clear as they could be. But I’m happy to spot Red and take his photo any way I can.

Today, I have my first post op appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. There was a hint that at two weeks post surgery she would take off the cast and I’d be in a boot. I sure am hoping for that. I’m feeling confined and restricted in my cast. It itches under there! Plus, I am bound to a knee scooter and getting around is not that easy. I discovered something that I never noticed before. Every single doorway or sliding glass door we have, has a step or a barrier to entry to the outside world. With two good feet, I completely missed that. Now it’s quite a challenge, for example, to get to the car for a ride from hubby to a doctor’s appointment.

Red on a barrel cactus next to my pink flamingo.

I learned from new friends who live two doors away that our casita was an add on. They’ve lived here since our development was built close to 20 years ago. Our husbands were chatting at a neighborhood social night in our neighborhood park. They discovered they had a friend in common. The neighbor went to the Naval Academy and my husband’s best friend went there, too. The neighbor was friends with my husband’s best friend’s older brother — who also went to the Naval Academy. Isn’t that a small world?

I veered off track for a moment. Back to the casita — it was built for the prior owner’s mother, who must have been old and needed her space, but also something suitable for someone needing a secure and safe space. I’ve found it to be ideal for me while I’m recovering. For example, the shower is made for handicapped — which I am right now. It has a bench and bars strategically placed for me to hang onto for dear life.

I’m hoping for the best in my healing adventure. I’ll give an update next week after visiting the doctor this morning.

What are your plans for the weekend?

What would you do?

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Sunrise view from our backyard.

If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?

That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.

I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.

I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.

I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”

The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.

“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.

“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”

He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.

Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.

What would you do?

Sunset.

Thanksgiving awaits

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The Harris Hawks are feeling right at home in our yard. This was the second day of them hanging out. I wrote about hawks on Wednesday, HERE. This guy is looking mighty plump.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I have mixed emotions about the holiday. I do like getting together with family or friends. I enjoy cooking the meal and having a bounty of leftovers. I enjoy the compliments my Thanksgiving meal gets. It’s satisfying.

But the dark side of Thanksgiving awaits.

Thanksgiving 2021 our dear friend passed away.

Decades earlier: When I was unmarried, living in Seattle, a recent college graduate, this friend (who also lived in Seattle) introduced me to my husband. My husband was visiting for Seafair, which is a summer festival highlighted by hydro races and a Blue Angels show.

As they say, the rest is history.

Eventually our friend left Seattle, sold all his property (real estate was his business) and moved to Arizona. He turned his Seattle real estate into an even greater empire in the Scottsdale/Phoenix area. Prices were way more affordable. Taxes were much better and the business environment was exciting to him.

We would visit our friend in Scottsdale a mile or two from where we now live. We would drive for the weekend from Palm Springs and stay in his casita. My husband was convinced that when he retired, Arizona was the place to be. We’d say good-bye to the high cost of living and taxes of California and embrace Arizona life.

COVID hit and my husband worked remotely. Home prices were skyrocketing in Palm Springs because people wanted out of apartments in San Francisco and LA. They wanted space, a yard, pool and our prices were much lower. We had a new next door neighbor who moved in from SF with his mom sight unseen and called the home his “COVID” home. He was worried about his elderly mom’s health.

My husband decided that it was time to make our move. Especially since he was working from home. I wasn’t sold on it, but told our kids that I was going to ask for a ridiculous price for our home that nobody would consider. That was my secret plan to stay in my dream home. Our house of almost 30 years sold in four hours with offers above asking. So much for that.

So we moved to Arizona close to our friend. He was our first and only friend in the state. We had been friends for close to 40 years. He loved to grill steaks for us. We had him over to our house for dinner. We watched football together and went out to great sushi restaurants. My husband would help him with his properties on weekends, schlepping refrigerators into apartments, or other DIY stuff. Like I said, that was his business. He appreciated my husband’s help.

He introduced us to his entourage, his brother and wife who also moved from Seattle to Arizona. Then another couple who will be retiring from Seattle to Scottsdale in a few years.

A few weeks before Thanksgiving 2021, he was hospitalized. He had a cough and was having trouble breathing. He was put on a ventilator after a week. He’d call my husband to bring him things from his home, like his razor and a pillow. The hospital tested him eight times for COVID — all negative.

Thanksgiving night, 2021 we had our friends who moved from Palm Springs over for dinner. My husband told them that he was worried about our friend, who was finally diagnosed with Valley Fever. Thinking it was COVID, the hospital had treated him the entire time with antibiotics, which is the wrong thing to do to a fungus like Valley Fever. Antibiotics allowed the fungus to grow unchecked.

The harsh words from our dinner guest, who retired from running the ER in Palm Springs said, “He’s not going to make it.”

He died a few hours later.

What holiday that is supposed to be joyous has dark undertones for you?

My super busy week

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A cactus in bloom last May.
A cactus in bloom last spring.

Ever have one of those weeks? Where everything seems to be happening at once? I’m having one and I’m thankful it’s Friday.

My week started with one thing on the schedule each day. That’s unusual for me. I usually have more down days than days with things planned. I had appointments, my lunch bunch went to a fun new restaurant, I had a board meeting for my women’s group that supports sex trafficked women. We invited a neighbor over for dinner Thursday because his wife is out of town. I had my zoom call where we discuss all the things you’re not supposed to in polite company — current events, politics and yes, religion!

I even made it to the YMCA and started lap swimming again! Yay for me! It feels wonderful to be back in the water and helps my toes that have started to hurt again during my walks. I will credit swimming to keeping me calm during my super, busy week.

I got a phone call while out to lunch with my friends. A swim mom friend from Palm Springs called. We usually talk for an hour. I didn’t answer because like I said, I was out to lunch. I forgot about the call and then I saw they texted me several times. I realized I had missed a few calls from her earlier in the week, too.

This mom was one of my best friends on the swim team. I went to my first swim meet when our son was in second grade. I was overwhelmed. It’s like landing on another planet. I didn’t know what was going on. Our son was scared. We couldn’t figure out how we were supposed to know when he was supposed to line up at the blocks.

The first person to greet me with a big smile and welcome was this woman, who would become one of my best friends.

Our two kids swam with her daughter, who went to the Beijing Olympics at age 16 and London at 20. Their daughter is so humble that once our daughter said to her, “Wow. I get to train with an Olympian.”

She looked around and answered, “Really? Who? Where’s the Olympian?”

Our son and her daughter would do homework together at the pool before practice when they were in high school.

Wednesday night I called and my friend asked if they could stay with us for three or four days starting the next day. Her husband is in a spear fishing tournament at a lake by us. He wants to scout out the lake before the big event. Of course I said yes.

They are arriving Thursday, while we’re having our neighbor over for dinner.

Thursday morning, I moved Olive and all her cat stuff from the casita into our master bathroom. I moved my files, books and laptop, too. We had guests a little over a week ago, and I prepped and readied the casita for them. Gradually, my stuff and Olive’s found it’s way back in there.

Sheets are washed, bed is made and grocery shopping is done to stock their fridge with a few goodies. I’m good to go. I did let her know that I had two meetings on Friday and would be gone most of the day.

She said she’s not expecting me to entertain her. So all is good! But I was a bit overwhelmed….

Do you like busy weeks, or quiet alone ones? Or a mix of the two?

A few visitors

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While we had visitors from Washington, we had this kitten stop by for a few hours. The bottle in front of the kitten is bug spray for the “no see ums.”

Our Washington visitors were brand new friends in 2021. We were introduced to them by the friend who brought us out to Arizona. He introduced us to the other couple before he died of Valley Fever Thanksgiving 2021. He also introduced me to my husband 40 years ago in Seattle.

The couple who stayed with us the past few days, still live in the Seattle area but bought a home here that they will retire to. It’s now a rental home for them.

While my mom was alive and in assisted living, I’d get together with this new friend, who lived a few miles from where my mom was. I feel like our friendship with this couple deepened throughout the few days they stayed with us this week. We shared our childhoods, stories about our kids, parents and found more connections.

While they were here, we had visitors of a wilder kind:

I wonder where the momma cat is? This is the youngest kitten I’ve seen alone. Does he have siblings?

Eventually, the kitten curled into a ball and fell asleep

First time I’ve had a cardinal visit in a couple months.

What is this Gilded Flicker doing? It looks like he’s trying to remove a screw with his beak.

What visitors have you had lately?

Getting Ready for Guests

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A picture my son colored in second grade. Wait until you read the story he wrote about it below!

Funny how it takes guests staying with us for me to get motivated to clean closets. I successfully emptied the casita closet. It had turned into storage space for all sorts of stuff including blankets, air mattresses, slippers, Sorel snow boots, hiking boots and even a box full of canvases and paints. Now it holds an appropriate number of sheets and towels.

That felt so good. I continued my cleaning spree in my own closet.

My efforts filled a car with blankets, books, comforters, and more that made it to Kiwanis Thrift Store. It’s amazing how things can accumulate after three short years of being in our new home. To be honest, a lot of stuff that I stored in closets moved with us.

Next, I went through my bathroom drawers and threw out ancient makeup, cough drops, unnecessary ointments and mini lotions and shampoos from years of hotel stays.

I have a guest bedroom closet left to tackle and I’ll be done! But it has all the personal things like photo albums, boxes of photos from my mom including her notebooks and diaries. I have generations of things to go through. Like the photo above, I saved things my kids created, report cards, school awards and swim medals. I have my daughter’s set of Madame Alexander dolls from the Wizard of Oz. I think it was easier to clear out the big stuff — especially because there’s no emotional attachment.

Here’s the story that goes with the photo:

What are your thoughts about the story? FYI, “derend” is a unique spelling of turned.

How do you do to prepare for guests?

The Holy Moly Home Tour

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Here’s a view from a Saturday afternoon luxury home tour. This is outside the living room on the patio overlooking an infinity pool.

We watched Michigan vs. USC football at our friends’ house, a mile up the hill from us Saturday. It was interesting because the other couple went to Michigan and my husband is a devout USC fan.

I was afraid it would be awkward, but it was a good game and Michigan won by three points.

At halftime, our friends suggested we go on a luxury home tour in their neighborhood. Every Saturday afternoon you can tour amazing homes in their massive development that has everything from condos to mansions on seven golf courses. We visited three homes. The first was all white, with white shiny counters, white walls and all white everything else. It’s was boring and I’m not wasting your time with photos.

The second was amazing. Fully furnished with the most unique art, fixtures, countertops, stone, etc. For a cool $6.5 million fully furnished. I didn’t take any photos, but here’s a LINK so you can see for yourself. The photos don’t do it justice. In fact, it looks crazy busy but in person it was really unique, fun and not overwhelming.

The third was high on the mountain with the most spectacular views. Here’s a LINK to the sales info. It was 9,411 square feet and $5.9 million, unfurnished.

View from a bedroom of the third house we toured.

Bathtub in the Master Bath.

Of course we’re never going to buy a home like this. Nor do we want to live in a country club community. But, it’s fun to take a look and wonder about the people who are selling these homes. Where are they moving to? Why are they selling?

Would you rather watch football or look at crazy luxury homes?