Category Archives: College

Social Life

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I’ve written my Memory and Meaning proposal for my photography “Art Studio” class. My subject as I’ve said is sea glass, first choice. Back up plan is birds. This is one of my first sea glass pictures, taken outside in the morning light. I wrote about my sea glass project HERE.

We’ve had more than our usual social outings lately. It’s because our good friends and neighbors have been out of town — and then we were out of town. We wanted to connect and get together before we go our separate ways again. It’s busier than I enjoy, but there have been some moments that really touched me.

AI Overview:

Social life refers to an individual’s time spent interacting with other people and the quality of those relationships, often involving activities for pleasure or enjoyment with friends, family, and the broader community. A person’s social life can include both in-person and online interactions and is shaped by the bonds they form and the social opportunities available to them. 

I went to a baby shower for a woman who was a swimmer with my kids on the Palm Springs swim team. She earned a swim scholarship at ASU, broke the 200 free record, and now teaches elementary school in the Phoenix area. Her husband does electrical work for us and we’ve had them over for dinner.

I was so excited to see her, her sister and her mom. The mother-to-be is four years older than my oldest, but they all hung out together at the pool. Her sister is a year older than her, but I have the best memories of being at swim meets, so impressed with these sisters. They would engage the youngers under pop up tents playing cards, games and being silly at swim meets.

When I told my kids I was going to her baby shower, they both said, “We love them!” That’s saying something more than 15 years later from being swim teammates.

Back in the day, this mom took me under her wing and taught me all about being a swim mom. She showed me the ropes of volunteering at swim meets and what jobs were the best ones to sign up for. We’d host Friday through Sunday swim meets in Palm Springs with close to 750 swimmers. Maybe even bigger. That meant there would also be a mom, dad — even grandma and grandpa — for each swimmer. We had a snack bar that would serve breakfast and lunch for all those people.

We had a separate area of food for the coaches, around 50 of them. Our team had a reputation for the best food ever in Southern California for swim coaches. There were two reasons for this. (REASON ONE) Chef Francois from the Ritz Carlton was a swim dad. His daughter was one of our daughter’s swim friends. He prepared the coaches’ meals (REASON TWO) which was prime rib, turkey dinner and yes, LOBSTER. Another swim dad free dove for lobster off the Southern California coast and took his kids and their friends to assist in the catch.

All those memories came rushing back when I walked into the baby shower and got hugs from the sisters and the mom. How wonderful to reminisce, be around younger people that I truly love and the mom who I spent so much time with. We sat and talked during swim practices and worked together at meets. I didn’t realize how much I value these friendships from my swim mom days.

Below: Finches at the birdbath.

What do you consider a busy social life?

Do you like being quiet staying at home, or being out and about busy?

What friends from your past do you still see?

JoyRoses13 from Nuggets of Gold wrote a fun story on her blog using my photos of Red plus pictures from another photographer. You can read it HERE.

Here’s your homework

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Before I get to the homework assignment, I’m sharing a photo of the beach from Saturday’s morning walk. We got to the beach extra early because it was the start of Labor Day Weekend at the beach. The freeway was stopped on Friday afternoon beginning at 2 p.m. through the night. We were expecting to have no parking at the beach and believed it would be really crowded. You can see going early paid off!

My DIL is teaching AP English to high school seniors this year. She and my son worked together on her curriculum for the year. They were both Lit Majors at the College of Creative Studies at UC Santa Barbara. They selected poetry, short stories and novels to read beginning in modern times and then going back 50 years, 100, 150, etc.

They asked if I wanted to read along with them, as they are planning on conquering the list as well as my DIL’s students. I said yes!

I’m posting the first two pages of the syllabus which covers September. Early October I’ll post those assignments, because I think posting all 13 pages at once would be overwhelming. The short stories were excellent. I also am enjoying re-reading “My Brilliant Friend,” which shockingly was published almost 15 years ago! I can’t believe that much time has passed since I read it.

I remember loving this book which is the first of four in the Neapolitan Series. I wrote a blog post about it and was surprised at the comments. Many people found it too gritty with too much violence and wondered about my taste! I found it to be filled with details and complex, memorable characters. I think it’s an accurate reflection of life in1950s Naples, where women led a subservient role to their husbands. The characters lived in a violent, poor neighborhood. It was interesting to get so many different opinions on the book.

Here’s September’s reading list:

FYI, I’m trying to do all the reading, but have not agreed to do the writing assignments! So far I’m on schedule. If you’re not interested in this reading challenge, at least you have an abundance of literature to add to your TBR list!

There’s a lot of poetry to read which reflects my DIL as a published poet. Here’s a poem of hers that I love, I know I’ve shared it before, so if you’ve read it, enjoy it a second time! Maybe it will be a first for you.

Coal Oil Point
Tonight the sky with its plummy texture
Is especially dear to me, and the small purple
Flowers shuddering in the sand.
Tonight the wind curls soft and salty against
My bare arms with that strange lively mourning.
You let me look at you and understand that
Nobody has ever had eyes like yours, fringed with
Red-gold lashes, and nobody will again.
I look up at the stars and pity them:
The more they burn the faster they die.
How I burn makes me live beyond myself.

Catherine Simpson is a cellist who lives in Berkeley. She has been previously published in Big River Poetry Review, Right Hand Pointing, Spectrum, Step Away Magazine, Into the Teeth of the Wind, Poydras Review, and Splash of Red.

This work is Copyright © 2013, and owned by Catherine Simpson and may not be distributed or reprinted in any form whatsoever without written permission from the author.

Have you read anything by Yiyun Li? If so, what?

Are you familiar with the Neapolitan Series by Elena Ferrante? If you’ve read any of her books, what did you think?

Did you know that Elena Ferrante is a pseudonym?

Elena Ferrante maintains her anonymity for a combination of artistic, practical, and personal reasons, prioritizing the work itself over the author’s public persona. She believes that once a book is written, it should speak for itself, and the author’s identity is irrelevant. — Google’s AI Overview

Photography Update

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I’ve named my favorite bird “Red.” Very appropriate don’t you think?

I’m struggling with my photography class this week. There was a ton of reading and the professor made a note to be sure to take notes, because the instructions for this week’s assignment would be found throughout the module.

This week’s topic is Shutter Speed. Last week was ISO. I have a prediction that next week’s topic will be aperture.

I have to turn in three photos this week. One is to be panned. I’m supposed to capture something moving by panning at the same speed of the moving object. That object is supposed to be clear while the background will be blurred.

I’ve tried with quails and doves, but they aren’t cooperating. Red is too flighty. I can’t pan fast enough. I’m going to have to rely on my husband walking, riding a bike or driving the car. Not too exciting. And the professor wants us to be creative.

Then the other two photos are to be creative using a fast shutter speed and a slow shutter speed. But I’m finding contrary instructions in different parts of the module.

Here are the photos from my first assignment:

We were told how to set the camera’s ISO and Aperture and to use auto focus. I liked the crocodile because of the shadows from our pergola.

I thought this cactus in our front yard was interesting.

I think this photography class is way more work than what I expected. It continues through May. I have to remind myself not to worry about grades. I’m doing this to gain knowledge. But old habits of worrying about grades are still with me from my school days!

UPDATE ON UPDATE:

I reread the module. Printed it out and highlighted all parts referring to the assignment. I referred back to my camera’s manual. All of a sudden it clicked. I had my husband ride his bike up and down our driveway while I took the “panning” shot. I got the other two shots I liked during the last two days.

My husband wanted to know who the old man was on the bike!

What classes or activities have you taken on to gain knowledge?

Do you worry about how well you’ve done?

Or are you content to learn something new and not worried about the outcome?

Black Friday

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A cactus in bloom last May.
A cactus in bloom last spring.

Black Friday is an interesting day for me. When I was 20 years old, home for Thanksgiving weekend, I drove from our town of Snohomish, Wash. to Bothell to hear a band play at a grange hall. I was with two high school girlfriends, Mary and Rebecca, who were sisters.

People in the band were friends. My goal was to ask one of the guys in the band to our sorority dance. It was a Tolo type of dance, where the girl asked the boy.

We parked across the street. Rebecca was stopping cars on the busy highway so we could cross. I froze in the headlights and held onto the hood of Rebecca’s parka, when a pick up truck came racing toward us.

The truck hit us both.

I bounced onto the hood, shattered the windshield and landed 35 feet on the other side. I was on the highway lying in a pool of blood with tires driving by — inches from my face.

Thank goodness for Mary, who wasn’t hit and watched it all happen. She called the ambulance and I was off to Evergreen Hospital for a few weeks. Rebecca refused to be admitted and lost a kidney later.

This is another one my memories of Thanksgiving week that isn’t so great. Our dear friend died Thanksgiving 2021. Kitty died Sunday and then I have the memory of getting hit by a truck.

But one of the unexpected outcomes of that Black Friday was gratitude. Yes, there was pain. Months of not walking. I had to come home from college for a quarter.

My priorities in life profoundly changed.

Waiting in the hospital bed for a physical therapist to show up, I realized my two strong desires. To walk again and be able to go to the bathroom. I no longer cared about losing five pounds. I didn’t care about the latest fashion. I didn’t care about grades.

Life is precious. And I appreciate every moment.

What life changing moment have you experienced where your priorities changed?

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar …

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NOTE: I wrote this blog post 10 years ago this week. It’s a look back to my school days — wedged into a visit with my son and his girlfriend (now wife) while I was visiting them at UC Santa Barbara. Also, there’s a link to my daughter-in-law’s poetry.

During my weekend visit with my son at UCSB, we discovered how far women have come from my generation to his. (Yes, I’m talking about the same son that tried to give away the cat on Facebook — read about that HERE. And, he’s the one that wrote about his crazy mom for his senior project — read about that HERE)

We were out to dinner at The Palms in Carpinteria, where you grill your own steaks or halibut, with one of my best friends, my son Robert, and his girlfriend (She’s a poet and an CCS English Lit major. You can read some of her poetry HERE).

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My friend and I talked about home ec, and we wondered if it was offered as a major in this day and age? My mom was a home ec major in the 1950s, by the way.

My son said, “They really DID have an MRS degree!”

“Not only was it a college major,” I said, “but we were required to take home ec in high school.”

“Only the girls, that is,” my friend said.

“WHAT?!” both Robert and his girlfriend were horrified. How alien to their lives is a gender-based school requirement. We explained that the boys took wood-working or shop.

My son thought for minute and asked, “What did you learn in home ec?”

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“Scrambled eggs, sewing an apron, sex ed, how to clip coupons and general household budgeting,” I answered.

“All of those things should be taught to men and women,” the kids said.  

I think they are right.

Thinking of those days, made me remember Helen Reddy, and her song, “I Am Woman” 

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Do colleges or high schools still offer home ec?

Do you think home ec should be required for both men and women?

What other life skills do you think need to be taught in school?

From being cut to winning NCAAs

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pug being left home
Waffles on my daughter’s first day of work.

My daughter graduated college and moved to Arizona for a job, before we did. She lived in Tempe for one year before moving to the Bay Area for a swim marketing job.

While our daughter was in Arizona, I loved to visit and spend time with her. We’d walk Waffles at the Tempe Beach Park where there is water and a walking bridge.

Once while we were walking across the bridge, a woman stopped us and asked “Is that Waffles?”

We were dumbfounded. Yes, Waffles had become a bit of a social media star. The marketing team at Utah posted him promoting swim and dive and he had his own Instagram account. But he was no “Doug the Pug.”

It turned out the woman was the wife of a swim coach from my daughter’s team at the University of Utah. So she actually knew Waffles and recognized him. Her husband Herbie Behm swam at ASU, coached at Utah and returned to ASU around the same time my daughter moved to Tempe.

Why am I bringing this up?

Since Wednesday last week, I’ve been watching NCAA Men’s Swimming and Diving Championships. I subscribed to ESPN+ to watch (now I’ll cancel because the swim meet is over.)

I loved watching the meet. It reminded me of being at PAC 12 swimming championships cheering for my daughter and teammates.

What was really exciting was that Herbie’s ASU team won their first NCAA championship in history, topping CAL Bears. So the two top teams were from the PAC 12 — during the final year the conference exists.

When Herbie swam for ASU in 2008, the school decided to cut men’s swimming. At the time, we had two swimmers from our Palm Springs club team swimming for ASU. I remember fundraising to keep the program open. In the end, parents and supporters prevailed by raising $1 million and ASU kept men’s swimming. But they had a hard time getting recruits to a program that could be on the chopping block at any moment. They were near the bottom of the pack at PAC 12s.

Flash forward to 2024 and they are the number one team for Men’s Swimming in the nation. How did they turn their program around? Bob Bowman. The school hired Michael Phelps’ coach in 2015 and he built the program from scratch and brought Herbie on board as assistant coach in 2018. Phelps lives in Scottsdale and he can be found on the deck and in the pool along with other Olympians.

Bowman is obviously an incredible coach. He attracts amazing swimmers like Leon Marchand, who is currently the number one swimmer in the world. You’ll hear his name a ton in Paris 2024 Olympics. Unfortunately, he’s from France and won’t be on the US team.

My daughter believes a ton of credit goes to Herbie who is an innovative coach and breaking new ground.

At NCAAs this year, so many records were broken. It was really exciting to watch.

With the PAC 12 dissolving, I’m worried about future Olympic sports like swimming. Travel to meets in other divisions may be cost prohibitive and impossible for student athletes. In PAC 12s the swim programs without swimming include my alma mater University of Washington, my dad’s University of Oregon, and I’m not sure what else. Men’s swimming isn’t the PAC 12, but more like the PAC 5 or 6 — and that was several years ago.

What do you think of ASU’s rags to riches story — from cutting Men’s swimming to being number one?

Does pain and suffering build character?

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The Dolphin Statue at Stearns Wharf in Santa Barbara. My friend, Joseph Bottoms’ father created this statue and a sister statue for Puerto Vallarta. I took this photo during the past weekend. Seeing the statue makes me happy.

Now to the subject at hand. Does pain and suffering create resilience?

Resilience is the ability to cope with and recover from setbacks. People who remain calm in the face of disaster have resilience.1

A resilient person is someone who has strong coping skills and is able to marshall their available resources, ask for help when needed, and find ways to manage the situation they are facing. 

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-resilience-2795059

I brought this topic up because I heard a snippet of a speech to Standford students by CEO of Nvidia. I was impressed with what he said. I even mentioned it on a comment on Victoria Ponders.

From an article from March 15, 2024 on CNBC by Tom Huddleston Jr. called “Success requires ‘ample doses of pain,’ billionaire Nvidia CEO tells Stanford students: ‘I hope suffering happens to you.’

Jensen Huang has a simple message for young people who want to achieve “greatness”: No pain, no gain.

That was essentially the Nvidia CEO’s message for students at his alma mater, Stanford University, where he spoke last week at the Stanford Institute for Economic Policy Research.

“Greatness is not intelligence. Greatness comes from character. And character isn’t formed out of smart people, it’s formed out of people who suffered,” Huang said at the event, in response to a question about how students can maximize their shot at being successful.

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/15/nvidia-ceo-huang-at-stanford-pain-and-suffering-breeds-success.html

Nvidia is one of the world’s most valuable companies with the high demand for their chips used in AI. Huang has been CEO of the company for three decades and has experienced ups and downs and had to lay off half of his employees at one time. He believes that the pain and suffering his company has experienced and their resilience is why they are successful today.

“People with very high expectations have very low resilience”

In the article, Huang is quoted as saying he has very low expectations but believes the students at Stanford have high expectations because of their elite education.

Often “people with very high expectations have very low resilience,” he went on, because they are not accustomed to, or prepared for, failure.

“Unfortunately, resilience matters in success,” he said. “I don’t know how to teach it to you except for I hope suffering happens to you.”

https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/15/nvidia-ceo-huang-at-stanford-pain-and-suffering-breeds-success.html

Do you agree with the statement that people with high expectations have low resilience? Why or why not?

Do you believe resilience is formed through pain and suffering, or are some people born with it?