Tag Archives: love

What would you do?

Posted on by
35

Sunrise view from our backyard.

If you only had two months left to live, what would you do?

That’s what my neighbor learned Thursday. He sent an email to his golfing foursome and told them he had been diagnosed that day with brain cancer and had two months to live. He added that he planned on golfing Monday, Wednesday and Friday as normal.

I received an email from my friend, his wife, that she wouldn’t be attending any of our women’s group events because her husband had cancer and didn’t have long to live.

I passed their house during my walk Friday when I spotted them walking out their front door. They both waved to me.

I walked up to them and said, “I just want to give both of you a hug.”

The husband said, “We could use hugs right now.” The wife and I burst into tears. Then he asked me to look out for his wife and call her often.

“Of course,” I said, stunned that he was so calm, collected and more concerned about his wife than himself.

“What did I do to deserve this beautiful man?” my friend said through tears. “I’m grateful for the years I had him in my life.”

He really is one of the kindest, sweetest men I’ve ever met. He always has a smile on his face and seems genuinely interested in you.

Their answer to the question of what would you do with two months left is to get their affairs in order. Live life as they always do — in love, appreciating each other and enjoying the little moments of each day.

What would you do?

Sunset.

The Wedding

Posted on by
72

After ten years of being with the love of his life, our son made the big step called commitment.

The risk of losing Buff was right before his eyes. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and was facing surgery. They decided to get married before surgery.

We were on vacation in Santa Barbara. They had originally taken time off work to spend a week with us.

The wedding was scheduled in Berkeley at the courthouse. No way were we going to miss it. We booked flights from Santa Barbara to Oakland. The day before their wedding we got one of many calls.

“We both tested positive for COVID,” our son said.

Surgery was scheduled 10 days out, so thankfully Buff’s surgery wasn’t delayed. In the meantime, our son ended up in ER with COVID.

Surgery turned out much better than we anticipated. Big sigh of relief. I wrote about those days HERE and HERE. They said the longer the surgery took, the better the outcome. I was literally praying hour by hour. It was more than six hours, which was the best outcome possible.

Post surgery, they waited one week for pathology reports. We were sure everything was fine because surgery went so well.

My son called us — trying not to break down — that pathology was not good. Stage 3 C, which is a step up or down from Stage 4 (depending on how you look at it.) She has a 40% chance of being cured. Don’t want to talk about the 60%.

They had a window between surgery and chemo to get married. They kept the wedding small outside the Mendocino County Courthouse with their “pod.” We stayed home and I was weepy during their marriage. The next day I was filled with love and hope for them.

They got married with some of Buff’s family, our daughter and a few of their closest friends.

California-style, they had their wedding dinner outside at In-N-Out.

They spent their wedding night in Medocino County in a gorgeous VRBO on a river.

Here’s one more photo of love:

I wrote you a letter….

Posted on by
6

Twice this year… It’s happened. We knew a friend was sick. One was 92 years old. The other was 57.

We wanted to tell them how much their friendship meant to us. But when they got sick, they didn’t want to see anyone. You have to respect that.

“I’ll call and talk to him on the phone,” my husband said about our 57-year-old friend. He never reached him by phone. 

Yesterday, we heard from his family that he was in hospice. My husband said, “I’ll write him a letter. I’ll tell him how much his friendship meant.” He immediately sat down and wrote it. The last time we wrote a letter like this was to our 92-year-old friend. Family members told us it arrived in the mail the day she died. She never had the opportunity to read it.

My husband ran this letter over to the family’s house. Literally. The brother said thank you. The brother thought it would make him feel good to read it. But, he said, he’s not seeing anyone outside of family.

My husband and I went for a walk. We walked and talked about our friend. This life thing is so fragile. We take it for granted sometimes. When I was 21 years old, I walked across a street and got hit by a truck. It made me realize how uncertain life is. A car almost hit us when we crossed the street last night. I screamed out loud. I can’t help it. It’s residue from my encounter with the pick up truck.

Life goes on. You get married, raise kids, drive kids to swim practice, sit on PTA boards, help with homework and have your own work to do. Pretty soon you can forget how fragile life is.

The end of the story. We finished our walk and returned to our house. The letter my husband wrote to his friend was stuck in our gate, unopened. It could only mean one thing.

Make sure you tell the ones you love — I love you while you have the chance.