The Wedding

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After ten years of being with the love of his life, our son made the big step called commitment.

The risk of losing Buff was right before his eyes. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and was facing surgery. They decided to get married before surgery.

We were on vacation in Santa Barbara. They had originally taken time off work to spend a week with us.

The wedding was scheduled in Berkeley at the courthouse. No way were we going to miss it. We booked flights from Santa Barbara to Oakland. The day before their wedding we got one of many calls.

“We both tested positive for COVID,” our son said.

Surgery was scheduled 10 days out, so thankfully Buff’s surgery wasn’t delayed. In the meantime, our son ended up in ER with COVID.

Surgery turned out much better than we anticipated. Big sigh of relief. I wrote about those days HERE and HERE. They said the longer the surgery took, the better the outcome. I was literally praying hour by hour. It was more than six hours, which was the best outcome possible.

Post surgery, they waited one week for pathology reports. We were sure everything was fine because surgery went so well.

My son called us — trying not to break down — that pathology was not good. Stage 3 C, which is a step up or down from Stage 4 (depending on how you look at it.) She has a 40% chance of being cured. Don’t want to talk about the 60%.

They had a window between surgery and chemo to get married. They kept the wedding small outside the Mendocino County Courthouse with their “pod.” We stayed home and I was weepy during their marriage. The next day I was filled with love and hope for them.

They got married with some of Buff’s family, our daughter and a few of their closest friends.

California-style, they had their wedding dinner outside at In-N-Out.

They spent their wedding night in Medocino County in a gorgeous VRBO on a river.

Here’s one more photo of love:

72 thoughts on “The Wedding”

  1. May God bless them with a beautiful and happy married life. I pray for full recovery of your daughter in law. Amen
    Congratulations to both the happy couple and their families. Hugs and lots of love Elizabeth.

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      • Poor thing- is she healed from surgery yet? It is a horrible thing to vomit when you have incisions and such still healing. I’ve already been praying this morning. And for your son because I’ve seen first hand this year how difficult it is to be a nurse/helper for long periods of time. And I’m praying for you- it’s difficult to be miles away when our kids are going through tough stuff! It is also good for them to cement together as rocks for each other without mom in the way. But it is hard for mom’s heart! Blessings, Elizabeth… to you all! 💙 (It’s blue for colon cancer, right?)

      • I’m not sure the color for colon cancer, but thank you. The doctors gave her a few weeks between surgery and chemo. I certainly hope she is healed from surgery. We won’t see them during chemo except for an occasional visit outside wearing masks. My son’s employer has been so helpful with eight weeks paid leave. Then I’m sure he’ll be able to take more time off to take her to appointments. Thank you tor your prayers 🙏🏼

  8. What a beautiful ceremony–small and intimate so they can simply focus on one another. Wishing them many decades of love to come! 🥰🥰 Praying for a miraculous remission. 🙏❤️ How fortunate she is to be surround by such a loving husband(!!!) and family!

    P.S. If Buff might be open to adjunct treatments, she may consider asking about IV mistletoe. I know several who used it in conjunction with chemo/radiation with great success.

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    • Thank you for your kind words and suggestion about adjunct treatments. I think their wedding was perfect, even though we weren’t there. Buff has a similar experience to yours where she went to doctors for years without finding a diagnosis. She complained about pain and all the things that should have triggered a test like a colonoscopy. They told her to drink more water and eat more fruit. They could have caught this five years ago at stage 1 or 2.

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      • I’m sorry that she went so long being dismissed by doctors. It’s such a disheartened feeling, worse yet when they missed something so life-changing. Love is powerful–I hope that having your wonderful son at her side will give Buff the strength she needs to overcome this. Big hugs to you, EA. ❤️

      • I know! The insurance wouldn’t pay for the colonoscopy this time — when the doctor ordered it. It’s because of her age this was overlooked. Yes, love is powerful and my son is taking good care of her. 💕

  10. Oh, Elizabeth. How bittersweet. Your daughter-in-law is beautiful. Given the circumstances, their wedding is lovely. Her flowers, her dress. And your son is beaming. I am happy for them.

    I saw in the comments that she is undergoing chemotherapy. How long will she be in chemo? When will you learn more? I’m sending you all so much healing energy. 

    😘❤️

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  12. Oh, my goodness, EA what a powerful post! What a crazy couple of weeks for your son, his new wife, and your entire family! First, congratulations to the new couple. So happy for them. The pictures are beautiful. Love the joy on their faces in spite of everything. I might be confused . . . but you had to miss being at the wedding? If so, I’m sure that was hard. I can’t even imagine. But I love your words that you were “filled with love and hope for them!” Praying for your son and his new wife and their health battle. You can see their love come through the photos. Their love will help them through Chemo and the battle ahead. Sending positive thoughts your family’s way too. Thanks for sharing. Praying and hoping for good news ahead!

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    • Thank you, Brian. We were ready for the first date but couldn’t make it last minute to the second wedding date which was between surgery and chemo. We were worried about flying in with out-of-state germs. Also, my husband had his first day with a different division in his company and had to resign the old position and accept the new position and all sorts of corporate nonsense which was put into computers and couldn’t be rescheduled. But mainly we were concerned for Buff’s health and didn’t want her to be sick before she began chemo. They only had a few people in attendance who are with them all the time. I was weepy on wedding day but also felt so filled with happiness. Yes, they are truly in love. Thank you for your prayers.

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      • So much love and concern in your post and comment. Maybe only a few people at the start, but great things ahead for them! I’m always amazed by how the tough moments we’ve had as a couple have made us stronger and helped us face what life brings. Happy for them and you. Hang in there, be sure to take some time for you too!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

      • You’re so correct. It’s the tough moments that have made us stronger as a couple. Thank you for your heartfelt comments. The original plan was a wedding in Santa Barbara August 2024 where they met at UCSB. We’re hoping for a celebration next summer at the beach.

  13. Oh my goodness. What a delight and a treasure. I know you said Buff reads your blog, Elizabeth…so from me to Buff and your son…I’m sending love, love, love. 💕💕💕Thank you to both of you and to Elizabeth who must be the best mom-in-law EVER.
    I’m grateful and honored that Elizabeth’s allowing her blogging friends to celebrate your beautiful wedding. Stunning photos of two of the happiest people I’ve ever seen. (And btw…your choice of ‘In-N-Out’? Be still my heart. Well done!)
    Hugs to all! 💕

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  18. What a wonderful post of love and life! I love the story and the pictures of what they’ve chosen to do in this challenging situation. I can’t imagine anything more hopeful than that when life got tough, they leaned in towards each other. It says so much about who they are and also their love. Sending tons of prayer to you all as you support in all sorts of wonderful ways, writing being just a small part, I’m sure!! <3

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    • Isn’t it wonderful that in spite of a huge problem in front of them, they chose marriage and to commit their lives to each other? Thank you for all your prayers and support.

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  20. Hi Elizabeth: First, congratulations. I am wishing both of them good health and a long happy marriage. Your son is just awesome, and it appears they had a perfect day celebrating their love. I am sending healing thoughts and love your way.

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    • I’m so glad you enjoyed it. They’ve been in love for 10 years. I’m so thrilled our son finally stepped up and made the commitment. They appreciate your prayers.

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  24. Dearest Elizabeth, Thank you for posting this. You are such a terrific writer that I clung to every word you wrote. Please know we will keep the Bride and Groom in our prayers. God bless Buff and Robert, and their families. Love, Susan

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