6 ways to annoy your kid’s coach without really trying

IMG_5008My kids had 14 coaches throughout their age group swimming years! Yes, 14 at last count. There may be a few more who we don’t remember, but the reason we had so many is that kids grow and move up in groups—and naturally get new coaches. Also, it was tough for us to keep assistant age group coaches. They weren’t paid enough and the hours were too short for them to make a living. You have to love kids and swimming to interrupt your day and stand on the pool deck for a couple hours for $8 an hour (which was what we were paying way back when.)

Then we lost our longtime head coach, who left the swimming world forever to become a pilot. It did take us a few head coaches to get one that would become permanent. Hence, the 14 or so coaches my kids had.

We learned a lot about being helpful swim parents from our longtime head coach. He was patient beyond belief and worked with parents to help educate them about swimming and swim parenting.

Here are some of the things we did and what we’ve seen other parents do to annoy the heck out of coaches:

ONE

Showing up late to practice.

I’m not talking about being stuck in traffic or having an orthodontist appointment. I’m talking about parents who bring their kids to practice late all the time.

TWO

Talking smack on the pool deck.

Having spent an enormous part of my child-rearing years watching swim practice and going to swim meets, I heard a lot of negative talk. Parents talked badly about coaches, other parents, swimmers, teams and just about everything else. Negatively spreads like wildfire and it ALWAYS gets back to the coach. If you hear someone talking bad stuff behind other people’s backs, tell them to stop or walk away. 

THREE

Coaching your kids.

This is so confusing to kids and annoys coaches immensely. Coaches are working with our children and may be focusing on a specific skill or technique to get our kids to the next level. Since we can’t read our coach’s mind, we may not know what they’re trying to do. I watched one dad constantly coach his daughter during meets and giving contradictory instructions to what the coach wanted.

FOUR

Ask to have your child moved up.

Generally, coaches know when a child should be moved up into the next group. However, there are a few parents who think their kids need to be moved up before they are ready. They email the coach or ask in person several times. Often, coaches will acquiesce to appease the parent. I watched this over and over and the next thing that happened was the swimmer quits. They would end up in a group that was too fast. They couldn’t keep up with the intervals. Instead of being at the top of the their group, they were last, slowest and never got a chance to rest.

FIVE

Interrupting the coach during practice.

For lots of teams, this is something that couldn’t happen because only swimmers are allowed on deck. But on our team, which is outside in sunny southern California, parents are allowed to sit on the pool deck. Often, parents, including me and my husband, would ask a quick question of the coach. We weren’t trying to interrupt, but when you get a half dozen parents doing the same thing, we were taking our coach’s eyes off the kids and not allowing the coach to work.

SIX

Taking vacations at the wrong times.

When kids are little, in my opinion, it’s okay to take family vacations whenever your want. But, when kids are older and they are serious about swimming, you have to take vacations at the right times. You can’t have your child out of the water for a week before their upcoming target meet. Christmas break was a big week for our kids with doubles and lots of work. The coach would be annoyed if kids left during that week and didn’t get the workouts he wanted.

img_4129There are a ton of other things that parents can do to annoy their kids coaches. What have you seen parents do in your children’s sports?

My Favorite Moments As a Swim Mom

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Record-breaking relay.

Being a swim mom has been an integral part of my life. I think giving our kids the gift of swimming has benefitted them in so many ways that I can’t count them all. But number one is their love of working out and being physically fit. The gifts I received were countless, too, especially the memories.

Here are my top ten memories that make me love my years of being a swim mom:

ONE
When my daughter’s relay won the 200 medley at CIF and she was anchor.

TWO
At age eight she stopped mid 50 meters freestyle to smile at the head coach. Her regular coach wasn’t at the meet and she was nervous and wanted to impress the head coach.

THREE
When my son took over the annual banquet and emceed “special” awards for the senior group. We parents were rolling on the floor laughing.

FOUR
Watching the kids having fun playing “Catch Phrase” and cards under the pop-up tent at meets.

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My young swimmers.

FIVE
When one parent on our team told swim mom Dianne Keaton that she looked just like a famous actress. She said she was Dianne Keaton and he argued with her.

SIX
When my son made an individual cut for junior olympics after trying so hard for so long.

SEVEN
Signing day for my daughter with her two teammates and coaches.

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Missy Franklin with my daughter’s class at PAC 12’s.

EIGHT
My daughter’s first college meet where she won her first event, the 1,000 free—and it was against Stanford.

 

NINE
The first PAC 12 Championship meet where I learned it was cool again to be a crazy parent.

TEN
When both kids received the Coach’s Award not for their talent, but for their effort.

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My son with his swim buddies.

What are your favorite memories as a parent?