Out of sorts…

Desert Views in Maricopa County
View from Cave Creek Road.

Everything and everyone is irritating me today. I think it’s a mixture of one part grieving and two parts too many interruptions. I have had more than a week straight of guests, visits with friends, preparing meals for guests. I just want to get back to my normal, quiet life.

Yesterday was a day of constant interruptions. Have you ever had one of those days where the phone rings nonstop? And people in your house need your attention while you’re on the phone? That’s what yesterday was like for me. And I have this extra long list of things to do before tomorrow when our new friends come for the funeral. But I keep getting pulled away from my list, so I feel out of control. I’d like to sit outside and finish my book — or go back to bed and start the day over.

I’m trying to print something out for my husband, who just interrupted me. Paper jam. Go figure.

I have to be very careful today. I do not want to act irrationally or snap at my husband. Everybody is getting on my nerves. I can say it’s a good thing my dad returned home to Palm Springs yesterday. I think when my house is empty, when the funeral is over, I can exhale and decompress.

I think my aggro mood is rooted in the death of our best friend and not having the space, quiet and time to grieve.

Have you ever had an “out of sorts” sort of day? How do you handle it?

The end of solitude

My husband and kids giving their Adams family look while visiting our daughter for a swim meet in college.

My quiet weekend alone ended in a flurry of phone calls Sunday afternoon, causing my anxiety to escalate. Poof! I lost the sense of peace just like that.

I was getting inundated with calls from my daughter, my husband, my son and two close friends. From my end, I felt like everybody was venting to me. My daughter was upset with my husband. My husband didn’t understand why our daughter was angry and crying. I wasn’t there so I felt helpless but wanted everyone to be happy.

Then my husband called again and said our daughter took him to the airport, but he was worried about the kids returning the U-haul. He didn’t have the time to do it himself before his flight home. He said the U-haul was difficult to drive, had poor visibility and that it had to be returned quite a distance away on the freeway.

So I took that burden of worry, too. I waited anxiously to hear that the kids returned it and were safely back in their homes.

I juggled with an onslaught of calls. Hanging up on one person to answer the call of another. Calling the person back that I hung up on, so they weren’t offended.

I was looking at news stories on my laptop and read there was a bomb threat and the campus had been evacuated where my son’s girlfriend’s brother was at school. I called my son to let him know. There were three campuses with bomb threats yesterday. Reading the news definitely wasn’t helping me.

The topper was the call back from my son. He said he and his sister were on the side of the freeway with a flat tire. They got the U-haul returned without a hitch, but then had a a blow out on the way back. My daughter was worried she was going to miss her comedy writing class that was scheduled to begin soon. They called AAA and were waiting for the tow truck.

Then my husband called from the Phoenix airport upset because he couldn’t find where he had parked the car after searching for 45 minutes. I took that to mean that it was my fault because I didn’t want to drive him there or pick him up. To be honest, I’m terrified of the freeways here. There are accidents every time I’ve been on them. And always someone driving 100 MPH weaving in and out of traffic. People drive crazy here. My daughter lived here for a year and she said she’d see five wrecks on her drive from Tempe to Scottsdale for work — every single day.

By the time my husband got home, my nerves were fried. I called to check on the kids and they were okay. They were safely back in their homes 700 feet apart. I tried to read and sat outside in the backyard missing the quiet happy feeling that I had bathed in only hours earlier. The peace that defined my weekend vanished as though it was a desert mirage.

Then Monday morning came and my husband woke up with the flu. I called the kids and they said that one of my son’s housemates had the flu. Ugh. I should stay in the casita and turn my phone off. I hope I’m not next for the flu. I haven’t been sick since February 2020.

On to tackle my Monday and back to NaNoWriMo.

Any suggestions on how to handle phone calls where things seem to be spiraling out of control? How do you not let other people’s problems become yours?