Yesterday I had a breakthrough moment. During the endless hours of unpacking boxes, I realized I could let go of stuff. Lots of stuff. We are setting up our new home in Arizona after escaping the high cost of living in California. This wasn’t easy because my husband is third generation and I’ve lived in CA for 36 years after leaving my home state of Washington.
I got rid of sweatshirts that I’ve had for years, including ones from my kids momentous swim meets and a trip to Ireland. My biggest breakthrough was letting go of my DVD player and hundreds of DVDs and VHS tapes. I called my daughter and asked her if she minded. We have the complete Seinfeld and I Love Lucy DVDs. She looked it up and they are all on Hulu. “Let them go,” she said.
I had second thoughts of tossing my videos from ultrasounds of my babies in the womb. But, I haven’t looked at them in twenty plus years. There are also Nutcrackers when my son and I performed, plus underwater swim videos of my kids at USC swim camp. But I tossed them all. After all, I don’t have a VHS player and forgot all about these tapes.
I texted my son and asked if I could toss a stack of awards he had from St. Theresa’s, his elementary and middle school. “Please!” he texted back.
I’ve put away plenty of things that we need and will make life comfortable. Then I looked at all the boxes and wondered how will cluttering up a new house going to feel? Today, I’m elated I could finally let go. I’ve got more to toss today and tomorrow. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I feel 20 pounds lighter.
The view of quail from the Casita window this morning. Earlier, I watched a huge coyote stop outside the fence and we stared at each other for a few minutes.
Do you still own DVDs and VHS tapes? If you do, do you ever watch them? Do you have trouble letting stuff go?
This was the view from my kitchen table where I worked for years.
I’m excited. I’m getting my own writing room. I haven’t had my own space since before kids. I used to have our guest room all to myself, when we moved into our Palm Springs home 28 years ago, we called it “The Computer Room.” I had a Mac computer, which was pretty rare back in 1992.
Then two babies later, the Computer Room evolved to other uses. I began working at the kitchen table (not a hardship with gorgeous views) with the advent of a laptop. I worked in the kids’ rooms, too. Also, our master bedroom. But I didn’t have my own space.
At our new Arizona home, there is a formal dining room. The sellers asked if we wanted to buy their dining room furniture which was beyond gorgeous. I was tempted, but something in the back of my head said “no.”
It struck me that I could use the formal dining room as my “formal writing room!” I now have my own space. I could work in the spare bedroom, but what happens when the kids or guests are here? It’s not really my space anymore than my office in Palm Springs, which was really my son’s bedroom.
I’ve talked on the phone with a couple friends from CA and one is supportive and the other is appalled. What am I going to do when I have a houseful for Christmas dinner? Well, we have lots of informal seating inside and outside. We aren’t big entertainers and when the once every few year Christmas dinner occurs, it will be informal — just like it was in Palm Springs. Isn’t it better to use the room daily, rather than once every few years?
We went consignment shopping this week and I found my writing desk, which I’ve always dreamed of, my chair and a bookcase. I’m putting it all together and I can’t wait to work in my own space.
My new space to write converted from a formal dining room. Today, I’m unpacking all my books and filling bookcases.
Do you find a formal dining room a practical space? If yes, you probably use it and do entertain? What about your space to work? Is it all your own or is it a multi-purpose area?
We took a break from unpacking boxes to sit and enjoy the scenery.
We are officially here. We’re unpacking a sea of boxes throughout the house, but I’ve located a few missing boxes that were driving me crazy. I finally found my shoes and the vitamins.
Friday night we arrived at 10:30 p.m and unpacked our cars. I managed to get four hours of sleep that night with Olive Bear, our indoor outdoor cat, meowing all night long to go outside. I heard from a friend who lives here that there’s too many wild critters for cats to have long lives outside. We have a bobcat who snacks on rabbits on the roof of our patio (discovered that fact during home inspection). We also have coyotes, mountain lions, snakes, scorpions and javelinas. So, we’re trying to turn a nine-year-old indoor/outdoor cat into 100% indoor. She’s doing much better after five nights. But her days are spent hiding under the bed in our casita.
Olive Bear is now an indoor cat.
A funny thing happened with our WiFi and TV. Saturday morning the tech came to hook us up. Within an hour we were up and running with gigabit wireless speed. WOW! What a difference from the 60 bps we had in Palm Springs. We felt like we entered a new decade or century. We have a TV that came in the furnished casita and that was up and running, too.
Sunday morning came and nothing worked. No TV. No internet. We called the service provider and their soonest appointment was Tuesday. My husband and I both need internet to work. So, what to do on Monday and Tuesday until it was all fixed? Stress out a bit, then I set up our iphones to personal hotspots and Voila! Work could work Monday morning.
Tuesday came and two techs came over to solve our problem. They could not find anything wrong outside. So, they came inside to my husband’s office and checked out the modem and how it was hooked up. The lead tech said to me, “Watch this.” I watched intently as he flipped on a light switch. The modem lit up. The modem was plugged into an outlet that was controlled by the light switch.
One of my closest friends from childhood passed away unexpectedly two and a half years ago. Saturday was her birthday and while I was swamped with moving, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I miss her so much.
Rebecca with my baby girl.
I learned via Facebook that my dear friend Rebecca had passed away.
She had a huge personality, was fearless, beautiful and brilliant. I received private messages from her on Facebook constantly, and I noticed I didn’t reply to the last one which I received on a Saturday afternoon—the day she died.
I wonder if she knew she was leaving us? I had no idea that she was ill, but I’ve since learned that she had diabetes and died from DKA (Diabetic ketoacidosis).
The first time I met Rebecca was at my childhood house. Her older brother Paul had been hanging out with our family for a few weeks that summer before seventh grade. One day, Rebecca decided to come over to our house with him because she wanted to meet me. We went to different elementary schools but for junior high the town’s elementary school students would all attend the same school. I was shy and wouldn’t leave my bedroom to meet her. Finally, my mom coaxed me out to meet Rebecca Coombs and our friendship of a lifetime began.
The last photo she sent me of herself. “When my baby grand wants a kiss, I oblige. Sir-Mix-Alot this as good as I can get! lol.”
She was the opposite of me in so many ways. She was bold, outgoing and not afraid of anyone or anything. Her long straight black hair hung past her waist and she had a huge smile. Some of my fondest memories were her introducing me to Taco Bell—which I still love today. I got a burrito supreme today in her honor.Also, because of Rebecca, our entire high school won the local radio station KJR top 40 competition for a free concert—which was the first rock concert I ever attended, “WAR.” I went with her to see Natalie Cole at the Paramount in downtown Seattle, too. She introduced me to so much music and laughter. I remember always laughing with Rebecca and her sister Mary. Mary became as close of a friend to me as Rebecca.
Rebecca was one of a few students from our high school that went to the University of Washington with me. I remember spending the first night in the dorm, with Rebecca in a sleeping bag on my floor.
Me, Rebecca and my baby girl.
My sophomore year Thanksgiving weekend, I was home and I went with Rebecca and Mary to a concert at a local Grange. I was going to ask a family friend who was there to a Tolo (a dance where the girls ask the boys for the date). We were crossing the street on the Bothell Highway when I panicked at the oncoming lights of cars. I froze in the middle of the street. I grabbed onto Rebecca’s parka hood and she wasn’t able to escape the oncoming pick-up truck either. I shattered my pelvis and Rebecca lost a kidney. We became connected by that one experience forever.
Later on, she married the family friend who I was going to ask to the dance. The marriage didn’t last that long and she did find someone she said was the love of her life, who sadly died a few years ago. Also, her brother Paul died years ago as well as Mary’s husband. Her life had so much tragedy, yet she stayed positive and filled with joy. Near the end, she moved to Hawaii to be close to her son Jake, who she was so proud of. She posted pictures of her new life and her grandchildren whom she called “the grands.”
I will admit she was much better at reaching out and staying connected. Throughout our lives, she’d call me and during the last few months send me private messages on an almost daily basis. One funny story I remember about Rebecca was she called me up and asked who Bill Gates was. She had attended the Microsoft Christmas Party with a friend who worked there and met Bill Gates. She had no clue who he was. It was well known in Seattle that Bill was looking for a wife. He had asked her to Sunday Brunch and she said no. She told me that he was kind of a geek and she was felt awkward and made up an excuse why she couldn’t go.
I miss my dear friend and how full of life she was. God bless you and RIP, Rebecca.
Rebecca, her husband Andrew and son Jake plus my kids.
Friday was moving day. Our movers arrived at 9 a.m. and we thought it would be a couple hours and we’d hit the road. No, we were wrong. By 5 p.m. the movers realized the van was full and we still had a bunch of stuff in the garage like bikes, a wheelbarrow and my daughter’s small desk. Plus the STORAGE UNIT where we’ve been squirreling away boxes and stuff for months.
Yikes! They had to rent a U-Haul and we gave them the keys to the storage unit. They said they’d come back the next morning and pick up the rest of our stuff in the garage when our housekeeper and dear friend Delia would be cleaning.
We drove on to Arizona and our new home, minus our stuff. We thankfully packed suitcases. Our fellow Piranha parents and close friends drove one of our cars packed to the hilt, plus their car complete with all the stuff from our freezer and fridge. Now, those are real friends who volunteer to drive an 8-hour round trip to make our move easier!
I have driving anxiety and panic attacks driving on freeways and couldn’t face the four-hour drive. Our daughter was going to fly down from SFO and drive one car and help us unpack. Then the state went into lockdown and she didn’t feel good about flying. So our friends volunteered to help us out and meanwhile her supposed flight was cancelled. So it all worked out in the end.
Our new living room. So much work to do!
We got to our Arizona home at 10:30 p.m. Unpacked what we had and settled into bed around midnight exhausted beyond comprehension. The moving van and U-haul arrived at 2 p.m. the next day and we’ve worked a solid weekend to get the kitchen in order and our closet organized. Kitty is stressed and hiding under the bed in the casita, where we’ve been living.
My new backyard as the sun begins to set.
I don’t recommend moving after 28 years after living in one house on anyone. It’s an unusually hard task, mentally and physically. But, when we’re more settled the sunsets will make it all worthwhile.
The past month, I’ve been all over the place emotionally. I’ve been through shock, disbelief, sadness, regret and anxiety. But I woke up today and I’ve moved on. I’m feeling the anticipation of a new adventure. I haven’t moved since 1992 and I’m excited for a new experience.
I don’t know what happened to change my point of view. It may be that the escrows are going well and it looks like all will close this week on both ends of the move. So that takes a chunk out of the anxiety. We worked really hard the past two weeks, packing, throwing stuff out and making daily trips to Angel View — and the end is in sight.
I wish my daughter would come and help us move. But with the state in a new shut down until after Christmas, she viewed the flight home and driving one of our cars to Arizona as not “essential.” Of course, I viewed that differently. But I do understand. She doesn’t want to get us old folks sick. She doesn’t want to get her brother and significant other sick, either.
We were surprised by one of our dear Piranha Swim Team family friends who offered to help us out. They volunteered, we didn’t even have to ask. That makes me appreciate the life we’ve had here, the friendships that are so true and valuable.
We’ve been blessed and I am ready to move on, knowing those friendships will continue.
Next Friday we will be moving. This has all happened so fast that my head is spinning. Today, I feel mostly tired. Just tired and achy. I can’t wait to get to the other side. I feel like I’m scattered all over the place. An escrow here, an escrow there. Utilities here to cancel. Utilities to sign up. Oh, and packing, packing and more packing.
I got a text last night from a realtor reminding me that the sellers are shutting off all their utilities on Monday. I had signed up for new services online, rather than opting for the 35-minute waits by phone last week. But today, I needed to call gas, power, water and trash and make sure we are good to go Monday, even though we’re arriving on Friday. I started second guessing myself, and that turned out to be a good thing. In fact, I learned that the electric company I signed up with online doesn’t provide service to our new house! Can you imagine packing and driving to your new state only to find you don’t have electricity and won’t have it for several days!
Yikes. I may have been on hold for a long amount of today, but I think it was worth it.
Another thing I’m having trouble with is saying good-bye to the people in my CA life. Yesterday was the last day I’ll see my friend who is also my housekeeper. We were swim moms together and her daughter was valedictorian of my daughter’s class. I got teary eyed saying goodbye to our handyman, too, and I’ve only known him for a few years. I think I’ll skip saying goodbye in person to my friends and neighbors.
