Reflections on a Happy New Year’s Eve Adventure

December 31, 2017. This was a day when memories were made with my son. We made a promise that day to ski together once a year, until we could no longer do it. Unfortunately, that was the last day we ever skied together.

sunrise in Salt Lake City

This was our view leaving the day for our New Year’s Eve ski adventure.

View from Brighton ski slopes

The view from the top of the mountain.

After not skiing for about a decade, guess what? I can still do it and it’s not that bad! Yesterday we hauled our equipment into our friends’ Sequoia under a gorgeous pink sky. Driving to Brighton from Salt Lake City was filled with the most breathtaking views. Once we reached the top of the mountain, I was stunned. I listened to the “oohs and ahhs” of other skiers getting off the chairlift, who experienced the view for the first time like me. I didn’t stop to take a bunch of pictures, and the one I did had my thumb across the bottom, but the iPhone wouldn’t do it justice anyway. I have those spectacular views embedded in my mind’s eye.

mother and son ski selfie

My son and me taking a ski selfie.

I felt a bit wobbly at first, as did my son, but soon we got up to speed and our skis were like old friends we’ve lost touch with but when you get together again, it’s like no time has lapsed. We skied most of the day with our friend from Santa Barbara and raced down the slopes maybe not like pros, but better than I anticipated. After not skiing for so many years, it felt amazing. For some silly reason, I had decided I was too old and that my ski days were behind me. When I was younger–before I was a wife, mother or a writer–I was a skier, sort of like how my daughter identifies as a swimmer. Giving it up, was like letting go of a small piece of my personality. It turns out I’m still a decent skier and my son and I have made a pact to ski together every year—as long as we can.

Rather than teaching my son’s girlfriend how to ski for her first time, we decided that she should enroll in a learner’s class. I think that was the best idea because I know how hard the first day of skiing can be for adults. We may have saved their relationship!

Today, I’m especially sore. Yikes, I do not remember this feeling from decades ago!

Two days ago, I really stepped out of my comfort zone and impulsively rented Nordic skis with my girlfriend. With all my downhill skiing days, I didn’t know there were Nordic centers where you can rent equipment, buy a pass and have trails to follow. It was awkward until I settled in and let go of my nerves. Then it became rhythmic and restful, all the time breathing the fresh outdoor air. It reminded me of swimming freestyle with the breathing patterns, alternating limbs and physicality. They’re very similar.

I think cross country skiing is something I’d like to do more of. It’s less exhilarating than downhill skiing, but it’s more peaceful and quiet. I love downhill skiing too and am so glad to have more days of skiing ahead.

Nordic ski center in Utah

Tracks at the Nordic Center.

How are you starting off your New Year? Have you ever returned to an activity you gave up years ago? 

That was a question for New Year’s Eve 2017. Not 2020. Now for the bad ending to the adventure, which was so 2020. Read it here.

 

Thoughts on Leaving California

archway gate Olive the cat sitting at our gate.

Did you know there is a private Facebook group called Leaving California? I’m not sure how I ran across it, but before we made the move, I signed up. I was surprised to find out there are more than 30,000 members!

Scrolling through the posts made me feel sad in the beginning. I wasn’t convinced I wanted to leave. I loved our home downtown Palm Springs. We were two blocks from restaurants, shops and our views were breathtaking.

To add to my uncertainty, my “adult children” were beyond furious. That was the only home they’ve known prior to moving away for college and their adult lives. They both believe we made the biggest mistake in our lives by selling our home. It does have “location, location, location.” It is beautiful. But it also had its downsides. It was rustic without many modern amenities like closet space or a roomy kitchen. I was always freezing and my fingers went numb. It was big on charm, though. It was also big on expense. For some reason — partly because it’s located in California and also that it was built in the 1930s — it was terribly expensive to keep up.

birthday party for dog My kids celebrating a birthday with Natasha our rottie years ago in the family home.

The kids were so angry with us that they didn’t speak to my husband or me for a bit. This made me more sad. We invited them to come home to say good-by. We also asked the buyers if we could stay for one last Christmas. They said, sure, no problem — $8,000 and Christmas was ours. We passed and decided to bite the bullet. We left our home close to 30 days of selling.

I bring this up about my kids because I noticed this week on the Facebook Leaving California page, that a lot of people are going through the same thing with their adult children. The latest post garnered close to 400 comments. Most said “Tell them to buy it if they want it.” Others were a little more understanding to the kids’ feelings.

prom photos in backyard We celebrated several proms with photos in our back yard.

I understand how my kids feel. My mom had to sell our childhood home, which was gorgeous with stunning views, too. Unfortunately, she had to sell after she and my dad divorced and she could no longer afford the expenses. I can tell you, that was an extremely upsetting way to lose my childhood home — and my nuclear family. I felt like my world turned upside down and there was no gravity to keep me on the planet.

My husband felt our kids were acting spoiled. They weren’t entitled to the house. He said he’d been working since age 13 and didn’t want to work until the day he died to pay to live in our home. Although, he’s still working now in our new home, there will come a day in a couple years where he won’t have to.

My kids are coming to accept our new reality. I’m looking forward to COVID-19 vaccines and their visits to our new home. I can’t wait to show them the hiking trails we’re discovering, the quail running through our backyard and the sunsets and sunrises.

Nothing can take away all the great memories we had of 28 years living there. I truly believe that home is not a structure, but is with the people who love you.

view of gorgeous Palm Springs backyard Our backyard in Palm Springs.

What are your thoughts about selling a childhood home? Would your kids understand? How did you feel when your parents did the same?

 

 

Getting down to the nitty gritty

The first few days after moving were filled with the basics — finding all our kitchen things and getting the heart of our home established. After that, we moved onto the bedroom. I was overwhelmed with wardrobe boxes and bins of clothes. Why did I have so many clothes and why did I move it all from California to Arizona? How many swim t-shirts does one need? I’ve already sewn several quilts out of them for my kids. What to do now? I found a home for some and took a bunch of clothes to the local Kiwanis market.

cat on a closet shelf

Olive Bear found a safe space inside our closet.

Now that we’ve been in our house for 18 days, I’m down to the nitty gritty. Our guest room still has unopened boxes labeled “photos,” “stuff in frames” and “photo albums.” The plan is to scan in photos I want to keep and throw the rest out.

I’ve filled the dresser in the guest room with stuff I don’t know what to do with. There’s a drawer filled with cords from HMD1 to extension cords and cords of no known use. The same dresser drawer was filled with these cords in my son’s room in California. I think today is the day to make some decisions on cords I need and can use. Or, I can just throw the whole mess out and not waste my time.

The question is why did I move a mess of stuff I have no use for, but cannot part with? And why can’t I? Maybe today is the day.

saguaro cactus

Morning walk views of saguaro.

Any suggestions on how to get rid of stuff I don’t have a place for is much appreciated.

What I’m grateful for in 2020

Saguaro profile in desert

A saguaro cactus I pass on my morning walk.

We can all agree this year was crazy. I hear over and over how people wish to leave 2020 in the dust and welcome in 2021. While I was on my morning walk today, I looked back on what this COVID year brought us that was good. Was there anything to be grateful for?

There were a few things. Mightily few. But here’s my list:

ONE

My daughter came home when the Bay Area went on lockdown. She had just moved into a new apartment and didn’t know her roommates. She felt uncomfortable being locked down with strangers. We thought it would be for three weeks — that’s what we Californians were told. She ended up working from our guest room remotely for several months before getting furloughed, rehired and then permanently let go. During the time she was home, we played tennis in the park, walked with Waffles the pug, swam with a bungee cord and played Smashball in the backyard pool. We ordered take out from all our favorite restaurants. We got to spend an extended time with our adult daughter — and that would never have happened without COVID-19.

TWO

My husband has worked remotely since March. We don’t know when his office will reopen. Although at times it got on my nerves to have him home 24/7 there are some benefits, too. We are closer than ever. We count on each other like never before. We were able to test the housing market and put our house up for sale. It sold above asking price in three hours — due to people fleeing the cities for more space because of COVID and working from home. We made the big move to another state and have a whole new outlook and view of life each day.

THREE

My friendships grew during this time of lockdown and not being able to hang out. I have four friends who were diagnosed with cancer during the pandemic. All are surviving although it’s one heck of a time to go through surgeries, chemo and radiation. I’m thankful for all my friends, their health and this tough time made me realize how important they are. I love them and continue to pray for their health and recovery.

Sunrise colors over swimming pool

Watching the sunrise in my backyard is a daily event.

What are you grateful for during the terrible awful year called 2020?

 

 

 

Third time is a charm?

desert view

Views from my neighborhood.

Today I will get my driver’s license in Arizona. I hope. You see, this will be my third trip to the DMV, although it’s not called that here. That’s what we call it in California.

My first try and getting a license and getting the cars registered in AZ was online. I finally figured out after clicking away through the websites that I had to get on the phone to make an appointment as a new Arizona resident.

I was on hold for 35 minutes to make an appointment when I finally talked to a human being. He was very helpful and made an appointment for both me and my husband. Then he said, “Now, let me go through the list of everything you will need to bring with you.” The line went dead.

So, I thought, how hard can this be? The website said you need to have a valid driver’s license from another state to skip the driving and written tests. I also got out the titles to our cars and insurance cards.

Off to the DMV and our appointments. First thing we were asked if we brought our passports or birth certificates. Nope. They couldn’t let us get driver’s licenses without them. They also asked for our Social Security cards, which we don’t have.The last time I’ve seen mine was in high school!  We were told a W-2 or 1099 would suffice if it showed our social security number. (I get a 1099 for writing and it only shows the last four digits of my social security number. UGH!)

In addition to all that, they wanted two proofs of our address. Huh? We have been here a little over a week and haven’t gotten mail yet!

Somehow, I managed to get all the documents together. I even found a W-2 from a Class Action lawsuit settlement that had my Social on it. Whew! I decided to order a replacement Social Security Card online just to be safe. (The Social Security website couldn’t verify me, by the way, so that was a failure, too.)

Next day, we went back to the DMV with ALL the required paperwork. They took my husband’s photo and then asked me for my driver’s license and then they’d take my photo. I looked in my wallet and it was missing! I started to panic, wondering where could I have left it? Was it at the Apple store the day before where I handed it over so I could pick up my order? YIKES.

Then I remembered. I had pulled my driver’s license out of my wallet while I tried to order my replacement Social Security card. So, I made an appointment for today, Christmas Eve. Will the third time be the charm?

Cactus Arizona sunset

Sunset in the neighborhood.

Merry Christmas! Stay safe and healthy!

Surprise visit for the pups

One thing I miss about Palm Springs is the park and pups. There are several groups of dog owners that meet and walk their dogs together and let them play. Three years ago, we had our daughter and Waffes the pug home for Christmas and the small dog group did this:

Mt. San Jacinto

The view from our park.

Our neighborhood park is an integral part of my life. I take at least one walk to and around the park every day, enjoying the gorgeous views of Mt. San Jacinto. I’ve walked countless miles around the park for years.

When the kids were young, I’d meet several other moms at the park and we’d sit on blankets on the grass while we watched our kids swing, climb and slide. The park is where we’d go when our kids would get some sort of flying gift like a simple glider, kite or a remote control plane or rocket. When the kids had friends over, they’d go to the park to play ultimate frisbee.

With my daughter at home for Christmas break with her 16-month-old pug Waffles, I’ve learned something new about our park. It’s a great place to meet other dog owners. In fact, we found a group who gather in the afternoons and let their little dogs play. Waffles, who is not at all shy, is trying to take over the group and loves chasing and being chased.

 

I’m not sure he’s all that welcome in this exclusive club, except by the two lady pugs, Mona and Sadie. The highlight yesterday was a surprise visit by Santa. Waffles, who thinks he’s a media star, thought all the pictures with Santa should include him. My daughter had to pull him out of other puppy pics more than once.

pug licking Santa's face

Waffles with Santa at the park.

Where is your special outdoor place in your life?

 

Reflections on 2010 — a normal year

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Laguna Beach in 2010.

Looking back on what my life was like 11 years ago, I was in full-throttle, hands-on mom mode. We had no idea that there could be a year like 2020 with COVID changing our normal daily lives. The 2010s had had a ton of milestones like high school and college graduations, my husband changed companies and we lost our loving dog Angus. It’s interesting to look back on FB to see what we doing in 2010, 11 fast years ago.

Here are some of our highlights from 2010:

I started a new career in 2010 as a financial advisor working with my husband. I went to Orange County and took a five-day class to prepare for the Series 7 and 66 from Tina–the same instructor my husband had a million years earlier. Nowadays, the classes are online instead of in person! I passed the tests.

I wrote on FB that Robert finished filling out his college applications with three hours to spare! He went to Boy’s State on the same day Kat went to the Kevin Perry Meet in Fullerton. Our days were spent around the pool cheering for Kat as she got her first Junior Olympic medal for an individual event and qualified for higher level meets. We spent the summer in Laguna beach hunting for sea glass and had the team over after relay day. Reading through my old posts, we seemed super busy and happy.

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One day’s catch of sea glass.

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Robert and friend Lynette during the Physics’ boat races in their cardboard boat. Lynette’s now married and we attended her wedding right before the pandemic struck, Feb. 2020.

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Kat with her first individual medal at JOs.

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Girls’ team t-shirt painting party in our backyard.

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Swim Festival in the old Long Beach Pool that we loved. It sat on the sand on the beach.

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My nephew’s wedding at my brother’s house.

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Angus. I miss this good dog.

What were you up to in the 2010? What were some of your highlights and milestones?