Category Archives: outrage

The Plumbing Parts Mystery

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Our saguaros are wearing flower crowns.

Friday I got a package, which isn’t unusual because I use Amazon a lot. However it’s what was in the package that was odd. It was a diverter cartridge for a Danze faucet from a “Plumbing Repair Parts Specialist” in Ohio.

Note: we do not have any faucets with that brand.

I have never heard of the company. I have never been to their website. I did not order any plumbing parts. The part is $108.47. I doubled checked my Amazon orders and no I didn’t accidentally click on the part.

I emailed them asking how they got my name and number — and why they decided to mail me a part I don’t want and didn’t order.

I checked through all our various banking accounts and credit card. We have not been charged for the part.

Then I noticed a charge for $600 to PNP billpayments. I have never heard of PNP billpayments. I freaked out, called the bank and disputed the charge. I considered closing our account but decided to discuss with my husband. He told me to make a list of ACH’s and see if there was anything coming out soon — like the electric bill.

I called back to the bank to close our account. I was on hold for 20 minutes and gave up.

I googled PNP payments:

The PNP Bill Payment bank charge typically signifies an automated payment made to several municipalities nationwide in the United States. These payments are commonly utilized to cover various services, such as utilities, taxes, or other municipal expenses.
https://cashvapour.com/what-is-pnp-bill-payment-on-a-bank-statement/

I had an “AHA” moment. The $600 was for property tax in Washington for our family’s riverfront lots that I had made several weeks ago. It hit my account on Friday, but under a weird name.

Back on the phone with the bank to tell them I was an idiot. I asked to cancel my payment dispute. That took 45 minutes.

Saturday, I got another strange package. More plumbing parts that I did not order. This time it was two parts from a plumbing fixture company in Illinois. It was a pull-out faucet spray head and a Roman tub diverter assembly. At least that’s what the packaging says. There’s no invoice or paperwork. So, I don’t know how much this order cost.

I got on the company’s website and filled out an online form wondering what the heck is up with all of this?

I hope to get an answer from both plumbing companies today. Hopefully no more plumbing parts arrive in the mail.

The mysterious plumbing parts I got in the mail, one still wrapped because I’ll most likely have to mail them back. I don’t want to pay for the postage! Would you?

Why do you think I’m getting random plumbing parts in the mail?

Have you ever received items you never ordered? If so, what were they?

After I wrote this, I talked to my millennial son and he told me this sounds like a scam called “brushing.” Ever heard of that before? Be safe. Stay Aware. Change your passwords.

Is civility a lost art?

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I wrote this post six years ago about getting yelled at by a stranger. It really unnerved me. I asked if civility was a lost art. I’m sad to say that I think things have gotten worse over the years. Not better.

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I think we are on the verge of losing an important piece of our society. The art of civility and decency. In my humble opinion, the virtual world has a lot to do with this. Look at the comment section of any news site or political page and what you’ll read will turn your face red. Name calling, cursing along with disgusting references to body parts. Their mothers and grandparents must be so proud!

It’s so easy to comment and be rude when you’re not face to face with another person and you’re hiding behind your keyboard. As a former board member of my kids’ swim team for a million years, I was often surprised when someone who I had enjoyed talking with on the pool deck sent me a scathing email. I guess it was easier for them to vent over the keyboard rather then express their opinion to me in person.

Olive cat in an uncivil mood.
Olive in an uncivil mood.

What happens when this “no-holds-barred” behavior moves from behind the screen to the real world? Think about that for a few minutes. If every person you encountered in a day had to let loose with a verbal attack. (What does that expression mean anyway? From Merriam-webster online: free of restrictions or hampering conventions <a no–holds–barred contest> This expression was first used in wrestling matches allowing all types of holds.)

I was sitting at our local Street Fair this week, volunteering five hours of my time to register voters. Most people were very friendly and polite. It wasn’t a busy night for our “register to vote booth” because there’s no big election coming up in the next few months. I smiled at people as they walked by. It’s fun to see them smile in return. I was enjoying that.

Then one woman stopped in the middle of the street and yelled at me.

“Why did you give us that look?”

I said, “Huh? Excuse me?” I had never seen this person in my life. I had not seen her walk by.

“You smiled at those people,” she pointed. “But you gave me a dirty look! What was that about?” she shouted at me.

“You’re mistaken, I wasn’t looking at anyone.” Indeed I was lost in my thoughts. I had a brief moment of missing my kids who are away at college.

“You’re very rude! Typical for someone in your party!” the woman yelled at me.

I was a little shaken. Wondering what gave her the right to yell at me — someone she’d never met before. I thought this was a prime example about our loss of civility.

We tell our kids to be kind to other people and we teach the Golden Rule. We punish them if they get in a fight and we are horrified if they are mean to anyone. But, seriously? They learn more from our actions then we care to believe. I have an idea. Let’s try to be examples to our kids. Let’s try to be someone worthy of our kids adoration and someone we’d like them to respect. Be kind to one another. And if you can’t be kind, at least be decent.

My daughter and lifetime friends, enjoying life on their swim team.
My daughter and lifetime friends enjoying life on their swim team.

“Be civil to all, sociable to many, familiar with few, friend to one, enemy to none.”

– Benjamin Franklin

What are your thoughts about civility? Do you think things have gotten worse over the past six years when I wrote this? Do you think the anonymity of social media and hiding behind our computers or phones adds to it?

Living With Uber Outrage in a Hyper Sensitive World

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Olive in an uncivil mood.

Olive in an uncivil mood.

I’m trying very hard to not get caught up in all the over-reacting that’s floating around. Have you noticed a lot of intolerance and anger lately? People seem to get upset and outraged over the littlest things. Like Halloween costumes. Waiting in line. Political opinions. Slow drivers.

Read about how I got yelled at by a total stranger here. 

How we handle little things and disappointments in life in a positive way can help us become better role models for our kids. It can also change our outlook and make a frustrating day, a better one.

imgres-4I think email, texting, twitter and social media in general can lead to misunderstandings and hard feelings. First of all, by emailing rather than having a conversation, a person can unload in ways they wouldn’t in person. He or she isn’t picking up on verbal and non-verbal cues. The conversation is totally one-sided without any give or take. We don’t have to bother with a discussion or to hear another person’s side of the story.

Online, have you read comment sections on a news or political story? If people can leave comments anonymously, look out! A snarky comment looks like an attaboy compared to the filth and nastiness you’ll read. People don’t tolerate differences of opinions and resort to name calling rather than debate issues. The anonymity of hiding behind a computer rather than facing someone is unleashing hostility and words that quite frankly are better left unsaid

imgres-3Have you ever texted someone or sent an email you didn’t mean to? Or, it went to the wrong person? How about thinking you hung up the iPhone, and you didn’t or pocket dialed the person, and they can hear your subsequent conversation?

It’s hard enough when you’re the one committing the faux pas and even harder when you’re on the receiving end.  Yikes. If this happens to you, take a minute and breathe. Realize you have a choice—how to react. You could get upset. You could make a big deal out of it and be confrontational.  Or, make the choice that it was mistake and no ill will was intended. 

I believe it’s a choice we can make on a daily basis. Take a deep breath when you’re behind a slow driver. When you’re waiting behind an elderly person trying to work the ATM or checking out at the grocery store. Don’t automatically jump on the uber outrage. We don’t have a choice on what is happening, but we do have a choice on how we react.

Baby Olive.

Baby Olive.

I think the best choice is to be “merciful.” This word popped up on my iPad yesterday. It’s not a word we hear spoken out loud these days—unless we’re sitting in a pew. In the everyday world it’s sounds old fashioned and is not practiced much.

I wasn’t quite sure of the exact meaning so I looked it up online at Merriam Webster:

treating people with kindness and forgiveness : not cruel or harsh : having or showing mercy: giving relief from suffering

I’m going to incorporate it in my everyday life when I feel the adrenalin or upset feelings start. I think if a lot more of us practiced mercy, our world would be a whole lot better.

We also need to keep in mind that our kids learn from our behavior. How we react to stress is most likely how they will deal with situations as they grow up.