My daughter’s graduation ceremony began with a reception outside of the David Eccles School of Business with refreshments, balloons, and families posing for photos together. Over the loudspeaker, instructions were blared out: “All graduates need to have a yellow card.”
I looked around and saw many graduates wearing caps and gowns and clutching yellow cards. The trick was where do you get one? I immediately went on the hunt and approached someone who looked like a staff member.
“Where do you get the yellow cards?” I asked.
“Mom!” my daughter ordered. “Stop it!”
What I wondered? I was only trying to be helpful. There is the problem. My kids don’t need me to help them anymore. My daughter clearly doesn’t want it at all.
Things I thought were helpful to her are now annoying. For example, she’s looking for a spin class at home. I immediately googled and started giving her suggestions.
“Mom. I can find my own class. I know which gyms I like and don’t like.”
After years of taking these responsibilities as my own, it’s rather difficult to let it all go. It’s a tough habit to break. But in the end, you know what? She did find and fill out her own yellow card and walked in the graduation ceremony just fine, without my help.
I think the secret will be to wait until I’m asked for help. Not just jump in and do things. My son calls frequently and says, “I need your advice on something.” Those words are like magic to me.
What do you think about trying to break the over-mothering habit?