Conflicted about Christmas

Christmas in Palm Sprigs
Christmas decorations in our Palm Springs home.

In a couple days, we’ll be leaving to have Christmas with my kids, dad and our son’s girlfriend’s family. Our kids suggested Palm Springs, where we moved from exactly two years ago this week. Last year we gathered in Santa Barbara, which was a fun — if not rainy and cold adventure.

I’m conflicted over Palm Springs. After leaving, I don’t have a strong desire to return. I don’t know if it’s an emotional response. If it brings up too many memories. If I miss it, or if I don’t miss it. It makes me feel things I don’t want to feel.

For the kids, who never wanted us to move from Palm Springs, my husband agreed to rent an Airbnb a few blocks from our old home. It’s all for them, not us.

What I’m looking foward to:

Seeing our big extended family.

Walking around my old park.

Swimming in my former city pool.

Going to my old favorite restaurants for a taste of Mexican food and Italian. We haven’t found any good spots here.

Do you think it’s true that you can never go home again? Why or why not?

Wreath on our old wooden gate
The wreath I made on our gates at the Palm Springs house which was built in 1937.

28 thoughts on “Conflicted about Christmas

  1. Home means different things to different people. That being said, I don’t think you can go home again because it’s no longer home…it’s a visit to a place you used to live. Nostalgia and memories are great but you can’t live there

  2. Cliche but- home is where you make it. Enjoy the memories over the holiday but underneath all that you have a new home that suits you and your life at this point in time.

  3. As the phrase goes, when one door closes…. It was home once apon a time, now is it a fond memory: of home, of good food and of friends. We’ve been gone from the mid-Atlantic for 4 years. We enjoy going back, stopping by the old haunts, visiting with friends, good food (I so miss seafood) but I would never move back. Ejoy the holiday for what it is, not where it is.

  4. When we move, we move for a reason. We wanted or needed change. I’ve found that once we move it is never the same. Either the places we remember have closed or restaurants don’t taste as good, old friends are just that — Old friends. Your kids going back, needed to bring closure to that area. The funny thing is that kids move away, but they want parents to keep the OLD memories/house in tact, basically, we sit in a rocking chair knitting socks waiting for their return. LOL. This is life.

  5. Home is where you live now. It’s too bad the kids aren’t happy you sold the place they grew up. It’s great they had that stability, but time to move on. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday together and pick someplace new to gather next year!

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